


Love goes both ways and everybody needs it

by Ourfandomcrazyuniverse



Category: StarKid Productions RPF, The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid, tgwdlm - Fandom
Genre: Child Emma perkins, Child Gary Goldstein, Drug Abuse, Neglect, Other, Physical Abuse, Suggested family abuse, Verbal Abuse, Young Jane Perkins, alchoholism, child paul matthews, domestic abuse, psychological abuse, wull add more tags as chapters progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 138,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21616033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourfandomcrazyuniverse/pseuds/Ourfandomcrazyuniverse
Summary: Hidgens is a younger man of 39 and when he sees a six year old named Emma crying, forgotten by her parents his ovaries burst and he is for some reason protective of this tiny girl who shares his love for musicals, science, and seems to like him too.And he will not let her go unloved.
Relationships: Father daughter Emma hidgens, Henry Hidgens & Emma Perkins
Comments: 314
Kudos: 233





	1. Abandoned

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, another multi chapter story aha. There’s a chapter that’s very much Christmassy I would love to get out for Christmas but that is gonna be super hard since I’d have to have a chapter out every two days, but imma see how far I get! And if not i’ll Still write the chapters it’ll just be after our actual Xmas. I won’t rush just to get stuff out, I want it to be good for y’all so I hope you enjoy!

Hidgens didn’t exactly love lakeside mall, but it was the only place that had a store for all his science needs in the tiny town of Hatchetfield, and with the experiment he wanted to show his students he had to buy his own equipment. Henry didn’t mind, he was quite well off and would probably take everything home and use it in his own free time. 

He had his bags and was ready to drive home, sighing in relief. That’s when he heard the crying. It was small, not like when a child screams and begs for attention, but when they’re trying to stifle their emotions. Some instinctual part of Henry he didn’t know he had rose up in him and he politely brushed passed the other shoppers until he could find the source of the crying. No wonder it was hard. When he finally moved past the giant family blocking his view he saw who was crying. It was a little girl, she couldn’t have been more than seven, with the biggest brown eyes he’d ever seen, and she was looking up desperately for someone to help. And she was all alone. Her knees clutched to her chest in the corner of a shop entrance, one that no one passed as it had shut, from it being a Sunday and all, she was leaning against the shutters but he couldn’t imagine that was very comfortable. 

There was the smallest part of him that whispered that it wasn’t his problem, her parents were probably right around the corner and would be very angry with him talking to her, or if she was lost someone else much more capable than him would come along and help, maybe another mother or even a security guard. But he took another look at her small frame and heard the next tiniest of scared cries come from her and he just had to make sure she was safe.

Tentatively, Henry looked round one more time, to give the girls parents one last chance to pop out the corner and come collect their crying child, but no one came. So he started walking. She flitted her eyes to him as he approached her, but quickly ducked her head back down when she knew it wasn’t her father.

Hidgens felt a bit awkward but he cleared his throat, trying not to loom above her too much as he spoke the words that he didn’t realise then would change the course of his life. “Are you alright dear?”

The young girl glared back at him, her eyes stained red from how hard she’d been crying. She brought her shirt sleeves around her fists, but then she realised this strange man wasn’t gonna leave until she answered him. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” She mumbled miserably.

Henry smiled and nodded at her, while he thought about her answer. She went back to glaring at the floor, sticking her lower lip out now as she got more upset without him distracting her. He was glad she knew not to be too trusting, but to help her he really needed her to trust him just a little. So he tried something. To seem less scary and to get on her level, he crouched down and sat cross-legged on the dirty mall floor right opposite her. She looked up at him surprised.

“Yes well you should always notify an adult if you’re in trouble hmm? And you seem to be in a spot of trouble. Now dear what’s your name?”

She whimpered, looking up at him with those big round eyes. “E-Emma.”

He smiled encouragingly at her, now they were getting somewhere. “Alright Emma.” he smiled with an assured nod. “Where are your parents?” He broke eye contact with her to look around for them, he remembered getting lost as a child and his parents were round the corner, not even noticing he thought he was lost.

“I-I think they went home.”

This brought his eyes back to her. He looked her up and down, there was no way she was old enough to be left alone like this. Not a chance in hell. “They left without you?” He asked, trying to reign in the astounded tone to his voice. Hopefully she was just a pessimistic, overly worried child. What she said next shattered that theory though.

“They went to get lunch with my sister, I didn’t want their lunch because fish makes my tummy hurt but they don’t believe me, they told me to wait and yelled and that was at lunchtime.” Her voice got stronger as she spoke. And now she wasn’t hugging her legs so tight. Hidgens watched as she even placed them on the ground and crossed them, mimicking his own stance. 

Hidgens bit back his annoyance in her parents basic negligence of what may be an actual allergy or health problem to check his watch and discovered it was 4, definitely past her lunchtime. He was horrified at the thought that her parents may have forgotten about the poor girl. But of course that wouldn’t stop him from trying to get her home, he just hoped it was really all a misunderstanding.

“Do you know their number?” He asked hopefully, his smile fading slightly as Emma shook her head, downtrodden. That meant he couldn’t call them to pick her up, he would have waited with her if that was the case. But now there were fewer options left into getting her home. But by god this small child was not going to be left here on his watch. He pinched the bridge of his nose, he knew this was a stupid decision but he couldn’t stop himself from asking. She was too heartbreaking.  
“Do you know your address?”

He sighed relived as she nodded. Then Emma seemed to catch on. Her head rose and she looked properly into Hidgens eyes for the first time. “Can you take me home?”

She sounded so desperate, desperate with a hint of hope, hope that he’d let her come with him and be the one to reunite her with her family, so she wouldn’t be trapped here all alone. 

But looking round at all the passerby’s Hidgens did worry about what it could look like if someone knew she wasn’t his kid. That he didn’t even know her. He fiddled uncomfortably in his ‘seat’. “Maybe I should call the police.” He muttered to himself, so used to doing it at home alone or in his office, he got so few students coming to ask him questions, it surprised him when someone responded. 

“No!” 

He felt her tiny hands grasp his arm and looked down anxiously. Emma shuffled on her knees till she was close to him, she leant her head forward and he reciprocated the movement, so she could whisper to him. He found she needed to cup her mouth and lean right into his ear to think she was doing it properly. “Please don’t call the police.” She begged. Hidgens ear was tingling but he didn’t pull back. “My parents will get really mad at me. It’s my fault probably! Please don’t. They’ll get mad. Please?”

She’d stopped whispering to whimper again, like she was about to cry with the thought of the police taking her back to her parents and Hidgens leaned back. Hidgens wasn’t sure if he was making the stupidest decision or most moral one of his life as he stood up, offered his hand and calmly told her “Come stick with me dear. I’ll make sure you get home alright. Cross my heart.”

He watched young Emma’s eyes bulge and he was worried for a second he’d frightened her. But no more than a moment later she struggled, scrambling to her feet and grasped his stuck out hand with both of hers. It was almost like she was trying to hug his hand the way she squished her cheek against it but the way she closed her eyes and sighed with relief made Hidgens positive he’d made the right choice. That and his beating heart. Maybe to do with the fact he hadn’t received physical affection in years, maybe that he felt some protectiveness over this tiny kid. But he was sure of one thing. He was gonna protect this little girl as long as she was by his side.

He had to admit he felt a little strange as he walked Emma to his car. She happily trotted alongside him, holding his hand contentedly in her own and he couldn’t help but smile to himself as he noted she wasn’t crying any more.

He tried not to look suspicious and raise the wrong ideas, as he looked both ways before unlocking his car. He opened the passenger side door for her and she hopped right in, he would have helped her due to her size and age but she seemed to manage fine, maybe he was worrying too much over her. He watched her click on her seatbelt with slight difficulty but quick enough before he had to intervene, then he was off.

“How old are you, by the way Emma?” He asked as he reversed. He was surprised when he noticed how carefully he was driving, now he had a passenger he was for some reason protective of already.

“Six.” She repsonded happily enough, gazing around at her new surroundings. Hidgens tutted to himself. Six. Way too young to be forgotten. 

Emma, satisfied with exploring the car, turned her attention back to the man who’d rescued her. “How old are you?” She asked innocently.

Hidgens chuckled, it was certainly unexpected. But he guessed that’s what he ought to expect from a child. “I’m thirty-nine.” He told her, flicking his eyes to make sure she was still happy before looking back to the road as he left the car park and got on to the motorway.

They talked a little more, Hidgens introducing himself and Emma giving him her address but when all the important stuff was out of the way Emma seemed to grow restless

She looked to the holder in her door and saw the collection of cds. She looked up to Hidgens with those big eyes again. “Please can I put some music on?” She begged. Emma hated silence.

Hidgens just chuckled, keeping his eyes on the road and not even needing those pleading eyes to convince him. “Of course dear! You don’t need to ask for something like that.” 

Emma blushed for a little while but she quickly distracted herself by flicking through the cds. A lot of them were boring ones she’d never heard of, or weird classical names that she couldn’t even begin to pronounce. But then with a squeal, she came upon the perfect one and popped it in.

Hidgens eyes widened as he heard the first track begin and he realised which cd she’d chosen. It was a musical mash up he’d made himself.

At the nearest red light, which he slowed down his car just a little to get to, he turned and looked to her bobbing in her seat to the song. He cleared his throat. “Emma dear do you, uh, do you like musicals?”

“I love musicals!” She beamed. Going back to singing the lyrics, well, singing them a second behind to give the impression she could remember 100% of the words.

Hidgens heart positively swelled. How was this tiny girl giving him such a massive amount of joy? He was about to ask about her favourite musical when she piped up.

“I’ve never been to see an actual one, like at a theatre, but I watch the movies and I play them in drama class sometimes and they’re really fun!” She tried to get as much of that information out as the songs swapped, so she could talk before going back to singing along. Hidgens understood most of it though. He was surprised she’d never been to the theatre, even on a school trip, but he did suppose she was young and not all families had the funds, even to go to the Starlight occasionally.

“But my sister Jane has been with my mom and dad a few times, even though she doesn’t like musicals as much. It’s because I’m naughty.”

Hidgens grimaced as she spoke, and his frown lines only got worse as she kept going. He couldn’t even imagine her deserving that treatment, even if he understood his own bias, from only knowing her a short time too. That didn’t stop him from trying to comfort her. “Well Emma, so far I don’t think you’ve been naughty in the slightest.”

He heard her become silent, no longer singing, and he embilished, feeling more confident as he spoke. “In fact from what I’ve seen of you so far I think you’re a very good girl. You’ve been very brave and smart and I have to say, well done for keeping your chin up.” She remained silent even after he’d finshed so he chanced a look at her, only to see her cheeks were bright red, her head bent. For a split second he was worried he’d taken it too far, then he saw the smile she was trying so hard to hide and he was grinning ear to ear himself. 

But for her benefit he decided to stop asking questions and as it moved on to the little mermaid he sang along with her.

Emma clapped her hands excitedly when she realised Hidgens knew the words, and part way into it he lowered his voice, afraid he’d be too loud and her voice wouldn’t be heard in the melody. But when singing quiter he realised she wasn’t singing at all. She was looking at him in awe. Now was his turn to blush. “Come on Emma, you know the words, don’t make me sing alone.” He encouraged and she went back to singing with him, bobbing her head along and laughing as he reached absurdly good notes.

When it got to a song Emma clearly had never heard of he decided to change the subject. “So Emma, obviously you like drama.” She looked up to him curiously now, nodding as he spoke.

“Which other subjects in school do you like?”

Emma leant back in her seat, comfortably. He watched her count on her fingers and he slowed the car just a bit as he realised he was getting closer to her location. 

“Well I like drama; science-“

Hidgens lip curled up in a smile.

“-music...”

He was grinning from ear to ear.

“-and sports kinda.”

Oh, not one he ever really enjoyed but he supposed she was her own perso-

“People say my legs are too short, but I really wanna get good at running.”

Hidgens stomach started to hurt and for just a moment a small voice in his brain told him not to take her home, which was completely absurd of course. And even if that voice was louder it didn’t help with the fact Emma had spotted her street sign and pointed it out to Hidgens, even if it was in the smallest voice she’d spoken in since he’d held her hand.

As he pulled up to the driveway he noticed there were no police cars outside. That was a bad sign. He stopped the car and reached over to undo Emma’s seatbelt on default before she could even attempt it, his eyes fixated on that house. Emma tried to take his hand again, once they were outside of the car, but since he was about to meet her parents he assumed that wasn’t the best idea. However not wanting to upset Emma, he acted as if he hadn’t noticed and quickly rung the doorbell.

He felt Emma lean against his leg slightly but as soon as the door opened both Hidgens and Emma stood straight. The woman who opened the door, her eyes nearly popped out of her skull when she looked down to the young girl.

“Emma? Why aren’t you in your room?!” She asked shocked. But Hidgens was possibly even more shocked. _They didn’t even know they’d forgotten her._

Emma didn’t answer, instead she rushed past her mom and ran inside, but when at the stairs she turns around and waved bye smally, her fingers to her palm instead of side to side, but a with big smile and his heart warmed, he waved like her too. He watched as she ran upstairs and out of his sight and only then was his attention stolen back from the adult standing in front of him.

“I’m sorry, who are you?”

He skipped the formalities and moved on to why he was delivering her young child home. “I found your child crying in the mall just over half an hour ago, she’d been left there and didn’t have any way to get home.” He said with a clear disapproving tone.

“Oh my.” He mother just responded. “I wonder how that happened.”

Her face was blank and Hidgens had to reign in his annoyance with her, not wanting to stir trouble, this woman didn’t seem like she wanted to fight him. “Yes well now I’m done and you can look after your child again-“ he added pointedly, “I better be off.”

But no less than the last word left his mouth a booming voice sounded from the hallway, one that even startled Hidgens for a moment from the sheer intensity in it. “Who’s that at the door?!”

A man he could only presume to be Emma’s father strode out and Hidgens straightened himself in some way his body told him was important. The mother stayed confused by the door and looking at the anger from his afternoon being disturbed, Hidgens felt like it wasn’t best to say everything that had happened. But of course, his wife filled him in before Hiddgens could intervene. And when she’d finished Hidgens saw murder in the mans eyes.

“You drove my daughter home?! My freakin kid?!” He yelled but this man did not scare Hidgens. From the few seconds he saw him Hidgens knew what he was immediately, a bully. And Hidgens was not afraid of bullies.

“With all due respect sir you abandoned her!” He reminded him. He felt quite confident in his ways. That was until the next word the man shouted. 

“Emma!!!”

Hidgens flinched and begged she was asleep already. “Oh please, you don’t have to bring the kid into this.” He begged but Emma seemed to know to not keep her father waiting. By the time he’d finished pleading to the man he looked back up and saw Emma smally creeping downstairs, and she was gripping the bannister for dear life.

“Emma down the stairs I’m talking to you properly!” Her dad yelled, Emma was scared of what she’d done now, how had she been the bad one? Was she bad because she came home??

Either way she knew her questions weren’t as important as following her dad’s orders. She rushed down and stood straight in the hallway, next to her mother, in front of Hidgens and facing her father.

Her fathers shoulders heaved as he breathed heavily. He pointed a big finger right in her face and it shook either from intensity or some other theories Hidgens was working on as he pieced this family together. 

“Did you get in this mans car?” He asked, in what a child of Emma’s age might have seen as calmly, but Hidgens and Emma’s mother saw the intensity behind.

Hidgens begged her to be able to say something that would skirt past her fathers anger, a tactic she may have picked up, but even Hidgens himself didn’t know what she could answer to avoid this mans seemingly ongoing rage. So she just told the truth. “Well, yeah.”

“Are you friggin stupid girl!?”

“Dear...”The mother tried, eyeing Hidgens worriedly.

Hidgens was shocked at the mans anger and the woman’s seemingly indifference to it and also surprised Emma wasn’t crying. Something which meant a worse thing, that she may be used to it.

There was more yelling, inconceivable form the mans rage, apart from the beefy finger now pointed directly at hidgens and he could only imagine the things he was saying to Emma. Then Emma did something even more surprising as she yelled back “He’s a nice man!”

And Hidgens was frozen in place from all his shocks today. Was she standing up for him? No one had ever really done that so he definitely wasn’t expecting it from this little girl, and yelled right back into her screaming fathers face.

“Get to your room!“ Her father screamed, raising the back of his hand, not like he was going to hurt her, but in a gesture to suggest he would if she didn’t obey. And Hidgens watched horrified as Emma scurried off to her room. A whole argument was building up in Hidgens body but before he could start it he was shoved back through the hallway and the door was slammed in his face.

Even though he disagreed with them, Hidgens hoped threats were the extent of what Emma suffered through in this household. Looking back to the house once more he huffed, unsure and shaken. But something caught his eye before he could turn back to his car and he looked up. 

That’s where he saw Emma in the the window. He smiled up at her and she didn’t smile back, but she waved bye and his smile slowly fading he did too.


	2. Marketplace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens can’t help but still be thinking about that small girl a week later, but they both live on a tiny island, it was only a matter of time before one of them found the other

It was one week and one day later and Hidgens was walking through the market, checking off his list still thinking about Emma. That little girl who was so lovely but who’s parents did not seem to have given her that trait.

He did hope she was alright, and safe at home, or as safe as she could be there, he worried, but better than her being abandoned all alone. Yesterday he did think about taking a little detour past her house, just to make sure everything was okay but he quickly shook his head of the thought and today things were starting to get back on track.

He’d just put his leeks in his bag when he felt something run into his legs. He huffed as he was nudged, but as he looked down to his legs he was shocked to see Emma attached to them.

“It’s my hero.” She beamed up at him, hugging his legs together. And Hidgens smiled from ear to ear.

He patted her back because he couldn’t hug her like this. “Oh, hello dear!” He mused, showing that he was pleasantly surprised.

She giggled up at him, it was clear she was excited to see him again. “Do you remember who I am?” 

“Dear I only saw you last week, of course! You’re Emma Perkins.”

She beamed up at him, but then she started to look sad. Stopping her eye contact and rubbing her thumb up his leg nervously, rather than squeezing to keep a hold of him.

Hidgens heart started to race. “Emma what’s wrong?” He asked worriedly, making sure to use her name.

Emma leant in and for a moment Hidgens thought she was about to whisper something secret about her parents to him. And he would have listened, but instead she whispered embarrassed “I only remember the H in your name...”

Hidgens smiled. The way she pronounced ‘h’ phonetically was adorable. When he pulled back Emma still look like she felt bad and she let him go to wring her hands together, he ruffled her hair very slightly just to make sure she knew she was forgiven. “It was Henry Hidgens.”

Emma pulled a face and Hidgens didn’t know what to do. “What?” He asked nervously. Emma just sighed. “There’s a boy in my class called Henry and he’s horrible. He’s the biggest bully of them all.”

“Ah...” Hidgens began to worry she wouldn’t like him just because of his name, although he was unsure why he needed her approval so much.

“So ‘m just gonna call you Hidgens, deal?” She nodded as if this was a simple negotiation. Henry was happy enough to go along with it though. “Ah yes, deal.”

Emma took his hand in her own and started walking with him. “So Hidgens, whatcha doin today?”

Hidgens was quite startled by her pulling him along but quickly followed suit, wrapping his own hand around her small one. “Ah, shopping.” He simply responded.

“Oh cool.” She mused. He didn’t think shopping was ‘cool’ for any young children and he wasn’t exactly sure where she was leading him, it just seemed she wanted to walk around the market too.

“What, er, what are you doing?” He asked awkwardly.

“Just walking.”

Hidgens looked around, now slightly more confident than last week now he knew who he was looking for, and wondered when he couldn’t see those familiar faces why she was on her own yet again. “Where are your parents?” He asked simply, already knowing what the answer would be.

“At home.” Emma told him. She stopped to look at the jams but it wasn’t like she could buy any, they just looked pretty. “I walk home from school with my big sister Jane but she’s sick today so I’m walking home alone.”

Hidgens was shocked he didn’t even feel that shocked. But she’s young and there are bad people out there.

“Well dear you’re not walking home alone any more.” He said firmly, gripping her hand more surely now. But still lightly.

“Huh?” She responded with, looking up to him unsure.

Hidgens let go of her hand to place both of his on her shoulders. “I mean I can walk you home,” he quickly brushed his thumb over her cheekbone, featherlight, to wipe away an eyelash he’d noticed that no one else had seemed to. 

Emma fluttered under his touch. He was really soft with her, and she couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched her face, or touched her gently at all.

“if you’d like.” Hidgens finished.

Emma squealed, hopping up just once before giddily bouncing on the heels of her feet. “Yeah!”

Hidgens smiled as they walked together.

“But do you wanna do shopping first?” She looked down like she was disturbing him. Hidgens looked down at her concnerned, before taking her hand back up in his since they’d be crossing the road. He checked both ways before leading her and Emma loved it, she saw all the parents holding their kids hands when they crossed the road, she didn’t like when her dad did it because he only did it when he said she was being trouble and he always grabbed her wrist instead, but she like Hidgens way, she liked Hidgens.

Hidgens only started talking again once they’d crossed and he deeemed it safe. “Oh no that’s okay, I can do it another time dear.”

“No! Keep shopping it’s fine, I’ll stay with you I promise.” Emma held Hidgens hand tighter. 

Hidgens looked down at her, suspicion arising. He’d presumed she’d just wanted to spend time with him but there was clearly something more going on. He slowed down to get a good look at her and noticed she wouldn’t look him in the eyes. She’d look at the ground, the market, their hands, his chest but not his eyes. “Emma dear is there a reason you don’t want to go straight home?”

He only got more worried as Emma started to hit her head against his arm as she swung about. Very timidly, he tucked her hair behind ear to get her to stop and she did. But she didn’t look at him as she mumbled “I just wanna walk with you okay.”

Hidgens nodded. He didn’t want to think about why she didn’t want to go home, somewhere that should be the safest and warmest place for her, although his mind was certainly racing through a whole list of reasons. So as well as wanting time to think, he couldn’t resist her wants. “Okay dear. I just need to get some fruit from the market place and then I can walk you home.” He hushed her, tucking her hair behind her other ear to even it out, and as an excuse to give her some physical affection, to make sure she was keeping her chin up. And with the knowledge that she could stay with Hidgens a while longer she seemed to become more chipper.

She helped reach up for what he was aiming for and he thanked her every time. Even when she got things he didn’t exactly need he still praised her and payed for the item. And every little word of praise seemed to make her either melt or become extremely giddy.

“Hidgens?” 

He looked down to her with a smile, making sure she was okay before asking “Yes Emma?”

“What’s your job?” Emma asked. She knew lots of adults had jobs, and honestly that’s all they went on about half the time, but Hidgens had only ever asked about her. So she wondered.

Hidgens tried to teach himself not to expect anything from Emma’s mouth, as she always was full of surprises. Like the fact she was actually interested in him.

“Oh,” he payed for his last shopping items and extended his hand to show Emma the way to start going. Then he answered. “Well I’m a biology professor at the community college darling.” He kept his eyes on her now he wasn’t shopping and saw her grin grown till her teeth were bared bright. It was infectious, he smiled back. “What’s so funny dear?” He wondered, amused.

Emma giggled, taking his hand back up in hers and Hidgens ran his thumb over it as he noticed she was getting colder. “It’s not funny.” Emma said although she giggled yet again as she said it. Her cheeks were lightly dusted pink and she couldn’t stop smiling at him. “I like when you call me those nice names.” She told him.

Now was Hidgens turn to blush. “Oh. I hadn’t even realised. Well, I’m glad you appreciate it, dearest Emma.” He added that last bit to watch her smile even harder. She certainly hadn’t been smiling this much last time he saw her, but he hoped he’d be seeing more of it, and really, more of her. She was starting to become the brightest light in his life and he barely even knew her. There was no guarantee he’d see her again except for the fact they both lived on the same small island.

He wanted to make sure she was warm enough as they were walking because the sun had set now. So he stopped walking at one point and pulled his arm up, but Emma was still attached at the other end. He crouched down next to her and smiled. “Emma dear, can I have my hand back for just one moment? You can hold it again in a bit.”

She did pout about it but let him go. And when she did Hidgens could unwrap his grey scarf from his neck and started to wrap it around a thankful looking Emma, she just looked so excited to be in it. Hidgens had to wrap it around her four times so she wouldn’t trip on it, and her mouth was slightly covered at first but he managed to jostle it about till she told him she was comfy as could be. He’d have to remind her to start wearing gloves; or he’d get her some himself, if she didn’t have any.

She smiled up at him in thanks and took his hand back again like he’d said she could. It was several minutes later when he saw the back of the off license he passed yesterday, a street away from Emma’s home, and Emma was leading him in the opposite direction.

He wanted to make sure she knew where she was going, or see if she knew _exactly_ where she was going. “Emma, isn’t that the road to your house?” He asked, not stopping in following her as he did though. Emma pulled his hand harder and started walking faster. “Nope this way!”

Hidgens knew she was taking him the long way round now, but for that reason, he let her. Besides, if her parents were the same people they were last week, Hidgens presumed they wouldn’t notice her being late.

But Emma couldn’t delay the inevitable. She got Hidgens to the house beside hers and decided that was close enough. He expected her to say bye, or say anything. Instead he was shoved back as she threw her arms around him. It was harder than she’d hugged him earlier today, and she didn’t seem to let go as easily either.

Hidgens paused for a moment before gently wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He wanted to be there for her, to look out for this girl he barely knew. He wanted her to be happy more than he could comprehend. He spent a good time hugging her back and realised she wasn’t going to be the one to call it off first. So he cleared his throat before letting her go and she followed suit. But he wasn’t going to leave it at that. “Emma do you have a pen and paper in your school bag?”

Confused, but trusting, Emma dumped her bag on the ground and zipped it open, grabbing her notebook and a pencil for Hidgens. “Thank you dear.” He smiled to her, watching her smile back slightly and watch him with curiosity as he crouched back down to her level, leaning on his knee as he wrote something down. And when he turned it towards her she saw it was a phone number. She looked up to him as if to ask if this was really okay for her to have.

Hidgens patted her shoulder, helping her tidy up her bag. “Now you call me, whenever you need someone okay? Or if you just wanna chat with me.” He added to make her feel at ease.

Emma nodded vehemently, like this was a very serious matter and that she understood it, which Hidgens couldn’t help but doubt just a little. Then Emma took his scarf off while he was crouched and placed it back around his neck for him. Hidgens chuckled to the ground as she did, his hair getting completely messed up in the process but it added to the charm.

He watched her run off to her gate and he stood up as he waved. Emma turned back to call out to him. “Jane’s gonna be sick tomorrow too! Do you wanna pick me up and take me to the park?”

“Uhm”

“Great! I’ll see you tomorrow Hidgens!” And she ran into her house, closing the door quietly behind her and Hidgens couldn’t help but smile. She made him smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa can’t believe I did another chapter a day later and was motivated for it wtffff!  
Anyways hope the next chapter wasn’t disappointing and y’all enjoyed. Please please let me know your thoughts as they really help, especially for writing newer chapters and thanks for reading 💕


	3. House visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma thinks Hidgens is silly and Hidgens is lying to try and protect her, while wondering if her life would actually be better with him

Hidgens had walked Emma home those few days her sister was ill and he’d never wish sickness upon a child but he was thankful for the time he got to spend with Emma. After Jane recovered Emma would call him when she could, which was nearly every day. Sometimes he’d take a walk around her route back home at 3ish to catch a glimpse of her, just a wave through a fence. One that was very happily reciprocated by Emma when her sister wasn’t looking and they both waited for those moments. 

He couldn’t call her, no matter how badly he wanted to, because it was unlikely to be her picking up the phone and even more unlikely her parents wouldn’t ask who was on the other line, so he tried to keep her on as long as he could when she called. She tried every day but sometimes she had to wait a while. He tutted at her when she told him proudly how she got grounded and kept home from school so she’d be in the house alone with phone longer but he was more concerned with fact when she was grounded she wasn’t allowed to go to school. Most frightening to him though was that she was being naughty on purpose and he was scared of what sort of punishments her parents may dole out, he still hadn’t gotten her very open with that type of talk. But he was determined to figure out how badly she needed help.

That’s why he got nervous every time she called at an unusual time. Whenever that happened he thought what if she’s calling in tears? But instead of tears there was an excited squeal on the end. He had to try and gently hush her so he could understand her happy ramblings and figure out what she was trying to say. 

“Emma, Emma!” He laughed at her infectious, pure joy. “Hidgens!” Emma panted, trying to hush herself so her parents couldn’t hear. “Jane’s having a sleepover Friday!” She squealed, hiding under her covers to stop the temptation to jump up and down, and thinking it would muffle her voice. 

Hidgens nodded on the other end, not quite understanding. She seemed to like her sister, despite the rest of her family, she spoke very highly of her. He still tried to play along. “Ah, that’s... that’s nice dear.”

“Hidgens! You big dummy!” Emma giggled, not meaning it in a mean way at all, which Hidgens gathered. She elaborated for him. “So that means she’s walking with her friends to _their_ house. So... can you walk me Friday?!”

A smile grew on Hidgens face as he understood. He already was writing it down at his desk, even though he knew there wasn’t a chance in hell he was forgetting. “Emma, dear, do you even have to ask? I would be delighted to!”

Hidgens was kept waiting excitedly for Friday for days. That was the highlight of his week and getting through lectures, as every hour ticked by he knew he was closer to seeing Emma again. That little girl who was the biggest beacon of light in his lonely life. He knew maybe it was an overreaction, he was getting attached too quick, but when life is very seldom kind to you you take what you have and hold it close.

He waited just outside the school gates, not wanting to alarm anyone just in case there were parents who knew Emma well, and who had no idea who he was. But earlier than she was supposed to finish Emma was one of the first ones out the gate. And she must have been working on her running skills because as soon as she saw Hidgens head poking through the sea of parents she sprinted towards him like her life depended on it. 

He was expecting a hug and opened his arms to embrace it but in the last second he saw her knees bending and knew she was about to jump. With quick reflexes he grabbed her waist and managed to capture her as she jumped. She wrapped her legs around his hip and nuzzled under his arm in a greeting hug. She’d never done this before. But Hidgens was happy with this new trust she seemed to have in him and hugged her back, swaying his hips just slightly in place as he held her close to him, one arm under her body and the other holding her back. “Hello again dear. You seem happy.” He mentioned, placing her back on her feet and taking up her hand instead. 

Emma gladly held his in her own. “Happy to see you.” She replied. Then she leant against his arm, looking up at him in wonder and eyes grateful and warm. “You came.” She whispered, a pleased smile faint.

Hidgens was glad to have not broken her trust, upset life had been so cruel to her at such a young age, that even a small arrangement made her wonder if people would betray her, or simply forget about her. He tucked that strand of hair that always fell out her ponytail back behind her ear. “Of course I did. I couldn’t wait to see you my dear.”

He looked around the playground nervously before patting Emma’s hand in his own. “Come on dear. We should hurry incase your sister sees you. 

“No she’s in the older classes, they get out 15 minutes later than us.” Emma told him but she was happy to start their walk anyway. She wanted to get away from school, the bullies, the teachers, her parents friends. She just wanted Hidgens. 

Hidgens was planning on taking Emma to the park first, like she had liked before, but when he mentioned it to her she quickly shut down that idea. “No! We need to hurry home!” She tugged his hand to add to her request and Hidgens heart slightly slowed as he thought he may not get as much time with her as he had anticipated. “Oh.” Then he thought on _why_ she wouldn’t want to spend extra time mucking about with him before going back. “Are your parents expecting you?” He asked. Even when her parents were home they didn’t seem to notice when Emma was back late, he knew this from previous experiences.

“Noooo.” Emma sang and she couldn’t help but let a giggle escape, covering her mouth as if that would make it more subtle. Hidgens raised an eyebrow at her. “Emmaaaa?..” He put a lull to his voice at the end of her name. He was worried whatever plan she had or secrets she was keeping may backfire and end up hurting her. But she just tugged Hidgens harder and walked faster. “Come _on_ Hidgens! We don’t have all day!” 

His heart raced as he recognised his words in her mouth. ‘We don’t have all day...” That was a phrase he commonly used, especially when Emma was trying to procrastinate going home hard, and he’d never heard her utter those words before. She was mirroring him. Using his language subconsciously. Learning from him. Was he a role model??!

He was still thinking over his position in her life when they reached her house. Usually he dropped her off just outside the neighbours but this time she kept her grip tight on his hand as she lead him to her front door. He gulped nervously. He wasn’t scared of those people who gave birth to her but he was scared of what they’d do if they found out she’d been spending time with him. “Uhm Emma, I think it’s best if your parents don’t see me.” He said, trying to lead her back. She wasn’t going to try and make them co operate was she? He presumed she’d still have some trust in her parents as most children do but he had none. She just leaned in, smiling wildly and as he leaned down, following their ritual, she whispered into his ear “My parents aren’t home!”

Now he felt slightly more confident, but there was an unending sense of unease that for some reason loomed over him as soon as he stood on the porch to the house. He watched Emma unlock the door and even though it was her house he still laid his hand on her shoulder in a protective way as if it would be boobytrapped in there or something. He kept his grip light to not let her know that if she tried to move forward he would keep her in his arms.

“I’ve never had a friend over before.” Emma just told him excitedly, before closing the door behind her.

Emma pulled him into her home before he could really say no, so now Hidgens was going to take this chance to, quickly, look around. Emma was just happy to have him here.

“Do you want some food? I can make something for you if you’re hungry!”

Hidgens turned around to her as she ran off to the fridge. He tried not to make a face, as the fridge wasn’t emitting a very pleasant smell, but there wasn’t a lot of things in there he thought could be the cause, since there wasn’t a lot in there point blank. 

“Or I could get you a beer.” Emma rummaged through the fridge drawers, bringing a bottle out and holding it out to Hidgens timidly. The image of Emma with the alcoholic bottle bigger than her palm, that she had to hold with both hands, was a shock to his system. He very gently took it out of her hands, not liking that picture, and placed it back in the fridge, telling her “No thank you dear.” before closing it. 

Emma bit her lip. She was trying to be helpful. “Are you mad at me or something?”

Hidgens looked to her worriedly. She was digging her toe into the ground and her shoulders were slumped, as if she was heavy with the weight of the world. He pulled her into his side, giving her a small reassuring squeeze before releasing her. He made sure she was looking into his eyes before he started speaking. “No dear. Of course I’m not mad at you. I just don’t need you to be my slave.”

Emma nodded at that, taking his hand and showing him around the first floor. Hidgens realised he wasn’t really listening much, just nodding and humming and he realised he was still paranoid he may get caught and thus Emma would be too. He followed her timidly “Are you sure there’s no one in the house, or coming soon?” He asked one final time, before he could relax even just a little.

“I’m sure. That’s why you’re here silly.” She smiled up at him and she took his hand. He held it back as normal but then saw she was still smiling up at him and realised she was trying to calm him. 

As she took him into the small living area he took in as much information as he could. It certainly was easier than interrogating her, strategically and emotionally. He saw the other beer bottles surrounding a worn couch, including a small pile of green glass that clearly hadn’t been spotted or bothered to be cleaned up. He steered Emma past it as she tottered around, looking for things to show Hidgens. 

Emma got excited as she ran down the hallway, avoiding the dirty clothes strewn about with expertise. “Come on Hidgens! I wanna show you my room!” 

The stuff Hidgens saw that Emma just glazed over as normal was quite telling of how long her situation had been like this. But she was so excited to show him her room, something that judging by her excitement, not many people were privy too. He was also surprised her room was on the first floor rather than upstairs, but he supposed they tried to stick Emma in the smallest room possible, although he thought that might just be his bias talking.

Immediately the first thing Hidgens noticed was the big lock on the outside of her door. And not just a sliding one you’d have on a bathroom door, a big bolt, one Emma couldn’t reach, even if she jumped. The inside of her door wasn’t much better, the nail marks scratching the peeling paint off the wood really alarmed Hidgens, and he looked to her fingers held in his hand just to check they were okay now, not something he’d missed.

The second thing he noticed was that the room was quite dull for a child. Not definitely the parents fault, he knew not everyone could afford paint or wallpaper, but there weren’t even any posters or drawings. And Hidgens did search around as Emma pointed things out to him but one thing that stood out to him was- “Emma where are your toys?”

Every child had at least one toy in Hidgens limited experience with children. Even toys they’d made in school arts and crafts, or hand me downs, little cars left on the street or teddy’s handed down since birth. There was no such thing he could see in Emma’s room.

“In the toy chest in the playroom.” Emma answered like she was annoyed he was asking about that when she was showing him her cool bedsheets. Hidgens breathed a subtle sigh of relief at her answer and relaxed, he could start to pay more attention to what Emma was showing him and actually get involved in the conversations she had been trying to start.

Emma sat at the head of her bed on top of her pillows but Hidgens moved her to the foot side instead. She didn’t mind, she smiled as Hidgens picked her up and went back to talking about how he was the only person not in her family to see her room but Hidgens was distracted. Distracted by the reason he set Emma at the foot of the bed instead. The clear mould on her window that her headboard was rested against.

He waited till she was finished speaking, to not upset her by thinking he wasn’t paying attention, before asking “Dear, how often do your parents come in your room?”

Emma looked up at him, playing with her bedsheets between her fingers. “Don’t worry. I told you! They’re not back yet.”

“That’s not what I mean dear. Would you just let me know?”

Emma didn’t know whether to smile at his weird behaviour or frown at the fact he seemed to not be listening to her, or maybe he thought she was lying. But when Hidgens smiled at her she gave in. 

“My mommy comes to check if my room is clean every day.”

Hidgens smiled at Emma and thanked her for telling him, but on the inside he was grimacing. For one, her parents couldn’t talk with the state of downstairs. But most importantly was the fact they should have blatantly seen the mould, that had clearly been congregating in their daughters room for a while, and done something about it. She could get really sick. There could be life long health consequences!

Hidgens wasn’t brave enough to trust Emma with potentially dangerous chemicals so decided to open the window so she’d at least get some circulation for now, since he didn’t know when next the house would be abandoned so he could clean up that mess for Emma. 

When he went to the window he unlocked it first of all, and now Emma was paying attention. He smiled to her “Oh I hate these locks.” He was trying to be reassuring. Emma just looked down. “Me too.”

Hidgens frowned and then he was frowning more and he pulled and pulled at the window, and then in different directions, but it would just not open. But it wasn’t stuck from age. He inspected it and saw that something had definitely stuck it down in place manually, he’d have guessed superglue or something of the sort. He meant to ask Emma about it but he just couldn’t bring himself to hear the answer. He buried his head on his hands. He just needed a moment of darkness. His senses not interrupted, a moment to think.

“Everything okay Hidgens?”

Except her. She could distract him. She could bring him out of the darkness. He raised his head and tilted it. Emma tilted hers back, a smile growing on her face. He very carefully, to give her room to move if she wanted, brought Emma onto his lap, wanting to comfort her but needing the comfort himself too. “Everything’s better with you here darling.”

Emma gladly embraced the cuddle, snuggling under Hidgens arm again and resting her head against his chest. She batted it lightly. “Hidgens!” She gasped, flattered.

He released his arms from around her but Emma grasped them and pulled them back. Back until they were fully around her and she rested her chin on them. He’d seen touchstarved people and children happened to be more blunt, she was textbook. He just sighed. “What time do your parents get back?”

Emma moved her hand up Hidgens arm and checked his watch on his wrist. He’d started wearing digital since Emma looked there first. “20 minutes.” She responded quietly. She knew they were probably gonna be late anyway. 

Not long left. He didn’t want to leave her here. He didn’t! But they’d be home soon! He had no choice. He had to leave her...

Before he knew it his eyes were watering up, and since he didn’t catch it he didn’t have time to stop himself before Emma, who’d been looking up at him the whole time, noticed.

Emma rushed to soothe him, patting his arm repetitively. Then getting his hankie out of his inside jacket pocket, that she’d seen before, to pass to him. She didn’t really understand why he was crying but she’d seen it happen to her mom a lot too. Her voice was soft as she spoke. “Don’t cry Hidgens.”

Oh god he was crying in front of the child, he was an asshole! He removed one of his arms to ruffle her hair, trying to smile and play it off. “Oh dear, I’m not crying, it’s just allergies.” He made up.

“Promise?”

Hidgens had never wanted to lie to Emma, but he wanted to protect her. “Promise. I’m just being silly again.”

Emma seemed satisfied with that and Hidgens was quickly able to bury his feelings, giving Emma a quick squeeze before lifting her off his lap. He need to go soon, or they’d both be up shit creek.

Then Emma got an idea. One she thought was brilliant and Hidgens would be so proud of her for thinking of, being a professor and all. So with wide eyes she ran back into his lap. “Can I have a sleepover at your house?!”

Hidgens had to gently move her knees from his stomach. That’s when he took in what she was saying. He sighed. No matter how much he’d be happy to have her over at his house, he wasn’t sure how good an idea it was, it was quite risky too if there ever was an occasion for Emma to have to hide out with him, which he’d already been planning for in his spare time. He was dusting the spare room at least once a week. But if he just took her now without proper planning... it would be bad. He told her sadly, “I don’t think that’s possible darling.”

Emma shook her head. She wasn’t gonna give up yet, Hidgens hadn’t even heard her plan! “I could just lie to my parents!” She nodded hard, to show him how confident she was in her plan. But he still wasn’t smiling, Emma tugged on his arm pleadingly, her voice wobbling now. “I can say I have a friend at your house! Just like when Jane goes to sleepovers!”

Emma was really wanting this, Hidgens wasn’t stupid nor blind. But he needed his house to be unknown by her parents, but he wanted to protect her from the fact he was waiting for if she needed hiding away from the people who ‘raised’ her. But those big big eyes were staring up at him and starting to become shiny with tears. He didn’t want to abandon her. He didn’t want her to think he didn’t care. He took both of her hands in his, dragging her nails out of his skin, and just held onto them. “Another time.” He nodded. It was so fucking hard to say no to her. But on this occasion he felt he had to. Emma resigned herself and let Hidgens out before her parents came home, but Hidgens knew. Next time her parents fucked up. He was giving her the option he had all planned out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one in two days! Geez Louise I have no idea how I’m doing this, or how people normally have motivation like this wow. Anyway hope you like this one, I wasn’t sure with pacing of the plot but tried to make it okay. Anyways I’m super tired from being on trains/trams for 4 1/2 hours so sorry if there is any editing taht still needs to be done.  
Please leave some comments! It really helps, hope you enjoyed 💕


	4. A Place Called Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Emma’s home life with her parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter, but obviously don’t read if you want absolutely no SPOILERS: verbal+physical abuse, alcoholism and drug abuse implied too

Emma sighed as her mom called her downstairs to eat. Jane was at a friends house again today, so it meant it was just Emma and her parents for dinner tonight. She tried to avoid them when she could but her mom always got really mad if they didn’t eat together like a family.

Emma rushed downstairs so as not to make them angry for her being late. 

“Stop running around! You’re gonna break something and you’re givin me a headache!”

Emma skidded to a halt at her dads command and instead tiptoed to her seat to avoid any more noise. But as she pulled her chair out it creaked agaisnt the floorbaords. She flinched but her dad just held his head in his hands and didn’t move, so Emma took that opportunity to quickly scramble onto her seat to avoid any more screw ups. She carefully poured herself some water, using both hands to avoid any spillage, and dipped on it as her mother brought their food out. 

Emma tried not to make a face as she saw what it was, fish.

She’d told her mom so many times that fish really made her stomach hurt but Emma had given up now as every time she mentioned it her parents got more and more upset with her. 

She thanked her mom anyway and picked at the mash with her fork. She ate most of that up even though it was lumpy and made her gag, then she tried to hide part of the fish under the mash she had left, to make it look like she’d at least tried it. She looked to the bottle in her dad’s hands and almost wished she could have that, at least it had some sort of taste, and her dad said it calmed him, although unless he was asleep from it he always seemed worse.

She jumped out of her thoughts as he fathers big fist slammed down onto the table. She looked up and her heart dropped as she realised he was looking at her.

“Eat goddamnit!” He ordered, his spit flying all over her food as well as his and Emma jumped at his raised voice again. She took another look to her plate and her hand reached for her fork slowly without thinking about it. But Emma’s eyes bulged as she thought about the pain and throwing up again and she dropped her fork with a clatter, the sound bringing her out of that dream state. She shook her head vehemently.

“No dad!” She shouted, scared and annoyed. Her cheeks red and puffed out as her mother exclaimed “Emma!” behind her. But her father not saying anything, just raising his eyebrow made Emma’s confidence worse. He looked like he wasn’t even breathing right now. Emma wanted to disappear, she didn’t want to be here any more. Her heart thudded, she felt sick, her legs were sticking to her seat with sweat. Her dad was breathing fast and heavy through his nostrils now, but his teeth were still clenched shut.

“I- I can’t! I’ll be sick!” She tried desperately. Her parents wouldn’t want that, would they?

Her dad laughed and that sound chilled Emma more than him shouting. Because the shouting she was used to.  
“Oh? Just because we can’t affford a five star, fancy steak, 3 course meal, is that what you mean?”

That wasn’t what Emma meant at all! She’d never had a 3 course meal but she was happy eating whatever, unless it made her sick. 

“You can’t get a job, neither can your sister, though you know she’d be a hell of a lot more capable!” Emma flinched at that insult. She’d get a job if she could, she would! She didn’t feel like bringing her age into the argument. Jane was too young too but Emma knew Jane’d be better at whatever could earn money anyway, like she was with everything.

“We need money for your mothers medicine too you know! And that shit’s expensive Emma.” He added.

Emma looked to her mom. Her mom was just looking down at her barely touched plate with dead eyes. Emma noticed her mom didn’t eat a lot recently, although she didn’t get yelled at for it.

Emma wanted her mom to keep having her medicine, even if she was never told what her mom was actually sick with. As well as not wanting her to get sick, when her mom didn’t have any medicine she got snappy and cried more, she even had hurt Emma which her mom usually wouldn’t do, one time she jumped on top of her, hitting and punching her over and over, scraping her with nails, ripping at her hair, biting her, then she’d screamed and cried out apologies after. That was when she was off it. But when she took too much she could be asleep for days. When that happens Emma couldn’t go anywhere because her dad didn’t like driving a lot, and she either had take out or nothing to eat since her dad couldn’t or wouldn’t cook either, Emma didn’t really know. She did know her dad didn’t like having to babysit constantly, as he had told her, and he just got more mad because he had to do more jobs. Once, Emma spilt the coffee beans to the coffee her dad had got her to make for him after unfortunately he’d tried cleaning up countertop and she was thrown about for minutes and minutes because no one stopped him. 

“Do you want your mother to be sick?” His voice snapped her to looking back at him.

Taking in the question she shook her head, her eyes stinging and throat raw. “No daddy!” She pleaded, trying to butter him up. “That’s not-“

“Shut up!” Another pound to the table and Emma’s head shot to her feet. “I’m speaking Goddamnit!” 

Emma didn’t look up to her parents. She let him speak because whatever she said or did always seemed to be wrong, probably because of how stupid she was. She’d rather they yell at each other than at her, but her mom rarely yelled back. She barely cared enough to. “Dear...” She said though, to suggest to just drop it and continue eating like they were a normal family. Some illusion she still held.

“No! She’s being a brat don’t let her disrespect us.” Her dad stood up now and Emma’s eyes shot up and stuck to his looming figure like glue. He was a big man.

“You think your dad’s a fuck up eh? I know what you think. Just because he doesn’t earn loads of money you can’t live your little spoiled life?!”

Emma ran out of her seat now, she knew what was coming. “No dad.” She tried.

He threw the chair Emma had been sitting on to the side, so they were right in front of each other. “I said shut it! You’re so fucking rude, little Emma. And let me tell you, you’re privileged! Do you what that means?”

Emma remained silent. She didn’t want to be told off for being a smartass again.

“Of course not.” Her father spat.

Emma yelled as his fists lunged for her but she wasn’t quick enough. It wasn’t a dull pain against her face like she’d expected, but instead a sharp tug on her skull. Emmas hands reached out to try and pry her fathers arms off as he had grabbed a chunk of her hair in his fist. And just for a flash Emma thought to how Hidgens treated her hair, how he tucked it and stroked it very lightly. 

Her father didn’t respond to her yelps. Instead he continued his rant, half leaning down to her face, half using her hair to raise her up. “It means you’re lucky.”

Emma had to try and stand on her tippytoes, which wasn’t helped when she tried to turn her cheek so her dads face wasn’t right in hers. 

“Do you know how fucking lucky you are?!” He yelled again. His breath was hot and it stank.

Emma didn’t make a sound though as her dad picked her up. Not from lack of pain, but from fear. At first he raised her off the floor with her hair, then thank god he gripped under her arms. Only to hold her as high up as he could, which was terrifying in case he threw her down. Emma thought the worst was over for only a moment before he started to shake her; and he shook her whenever he spoke. “Do you see this goddamn food? Look at what your mother made you.” Emma looked down to her mother with tears in her eyes silently begging her to help, but she never intervened whilst Emma was being punished. Her mother’s face became blurry as Emma’s tears spilt while she continued being shook up in the air. “You wanna starve instead? Rather than touch this families food?!” Her father continued.

Emma thought it was rhetorical. So that’s why she wasn’t expecting him to scream “Answer me when I speak to you bitch!”

“Dear!”

“No!” Emma cried out over her moms voice, not realising she was gonna say something. But Emma knew she’d screwed up again when her fathers vein popped out of his head as he got angrier. Her lip wobbled.

“No!? You will answer me!” Her father growled, misunderstanding. It was hard to tell Emma’s whole body was trembling as he shook her again, and she bit her tongue hard when he did so.

She tried to speak a few times but her breath wasn’t coming out. She got it out fracturedly. “I... I meant... no... daddy..! I don’t... wanna starve!”

“Don’t try and lie and tell me you meant something else to get out of this. You’re in big trouble young lady!”

“I wasn’t lying!” Emma promised, her head hurting as she banged it against the ceiling, her father brought her slightly back down again with both hands tighter than before.

“Then why don’t you eat?! Or are you so stupid you don’t know you have to eat to not starve?”

It hurt, but Emma didn’t say, she’d had worse. But Emma couldn’t help it when he was squeezing her tighter and tighter. She bit her lip until her scream flew out. “Dad you’re hurting me!” She stopped herself from screaming more, crying instead, letting her own hiccups shush her.

“Oh no I’m not, but you deserve it young lady!”

Did she? Emma knew she could be naughty, naughtier than a lot of people in her class, definitely naughtier than Jane, but was this fair? It was normal but she didn’t know if it was right. She wouldn’t do this to the kids in her class, or Jane or any kids she knew. She knew it was scary.

“You’ve been very naughty! Do you wanna stay home from school again?!” This shake was so violent that even with his lock-like grip on Emma her dad dropped her, maybe from the addition of alcohol that also started this argument that wasn’t really needed. 

He dropped her and she fell right onto his foot. When he screamed Emma scrambled backwards, burning her palms on the carpet, standing only when she was farther away from him. He swore then lunged right over to her, quicker than Emma could move away- even if he was further she was stuck like a deer in headlights- as she saw his hand raised. Her eyes only left her dad as he slapped her across the cheek hard and she fell to the floor. 

She stayed breathing on the floor until her dad spoke again. “You little bitch! You can’t hurt me!” Emma didn’t know if he was ordering her about or telling her a fact. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, he dropped her, she just wanted to escape. That’s why she ran backwards as her dad seemed done with her, distracted by holding his foot. 

Then Emma felt herself getting pulled straight by her mom. Her mom who fell to her knees in front of Emma. She wanted to run to her room, even though it didn’t have a lock for Emma on the inside, because her mom’s nails dug into Emma wrists and Emma cried more.

“You know mommy loves you right?!” She screeched so loud. Her moms eyes scared her when they were like this. Emma’s own widened back, this was too much, she was so confused. Emma heard her dad yelling “Stop babying her!”

It didn’t feel like babying. Emma couldn’t breathe as her mom pulled her close. And as Emma tried to wriggle she held her daughter closer squeezing and squeezing her small body and her overwhelming perfume made Emma feel worse, like she wouldn’t be able to breathe even if her chest didn’t hurt. She threw her body about until she could breathe, and the first thing she did with her breath was to choke out, choke out “You love me mommy!” 

Emma would have been happy her words worked as her mother released her grip, but instead she threw her arms around Emma’s shoulders and leant her head on Emma’s chest. Scared, Emma didn’t hug back. She only got hugs when her mom got paranoid, or she was... different. 

Her mom almost collapsed on her, her eyes drooping shut. “Good girl Jane...”

Emma was used to them mixing them up, even though she and Jane weren’t particularly similar, but would she only be called good if they mistook her for her sister? So when her mom raised her head off Emma’s chest that was expanding and falling hard and fast, Emma, free, ran straight to her room, not even slowing as she tripped down a step.

She slammed her door shut in her haste, only to hears her fathers yell from down the hall. Terrified, Emma hid under her bed, the space she knew was too small for her parents, even Jane when they’d played there, but not Emma. 

As she closed her eyes shut and covered her mouth with her hands, to hide her sobs and small cries of pain, all she could think of was one thing. One saving grace. Hidgens. _She wanted Hidgens._

Hidgens would calm her. Hidgens could _save_ her. He’d never yelled, or touched her harshly, or even frowned at her meaningly. He listened to her, he paid attention to her, he helped her, answered her questions, made sure she’d eaten enough, told her everything that she’d been told about herself was a lie and Emma just wanted to believe him.

She wanted to call Hidgens right now. To have his voice soothe over her. Let him tell her that she wasn’t bad and to come over and soothe her pains. But the home phone was outside. It was outside her room and Emma was frozen in fear under her bed. She couldn’t move.

Emma, leant on her stomach, her eyes trained hard on her door in case someone burst through to take her, held her hands over her mouth just cried and cried. She was scared and she wanted to be with Hidgens. She just wanted Hidgens, but she couldn’t have him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don’t really know how I felt abt this one, it’s very different than anything I’ve done before and there’s just something about it I feel like I should be able to improve on which is why it’s taken 3 days, oh that and I’m in exam season now and have just finished one as I’m writing this
> 
> So please please please give me some feedback!!! and I hope this chapter was good enough for y’all! I promise the next one will have more Hidgens aha


	5. The Nice Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma makes some schedule changes to spend more time with Hidgens. And an argument with her parents means she may not ever want to again

Hidgens bit back his worry as he tapped his pen against his pile of tests he had to mark. He hadn’t heard from Emma in a few days. This wasn’t completely unheard of but it was unusual. 

So that’s why when his phone rung he answered it on the first ring, without even checking the caller ID. 

“Hiya Hidgens.”

Hidgens sighed in relief, a smile forming on his face. He was so happy to hear her voice he didn’t even recognise how reserved her greeting was compared to her usual excitement. He just leant back in his chair, smiling. “Hello Emma dear. How’s your day been today?” He started off like normal, only for Emma to skip over his question.

“Listen, can you come pick me up from school at 4 not 3 tomorrow?”

Hidgens straightened up. His nervous tapping stopped and was replaced with the beating of his heart. “Of course dear...” He clicked his tongue nervously before pausing. “Is anything wrong?”

He listened to Emma hum on the end. “It’s a secret.”

He spoke in a soft voice as he told her “Emma dear, you know how I don’t love secrets.” In fact, Hidgens had quite liked secrets. Not jumpscares, but a birthday present he hadn’t been expecting and the sort. But Emma’s secrets worried him, he wanted to know everything straight away so he could fix anything that needed fixing.

“Well, it’s not a secret it’s a surprise! A good surprise.” She reworded. Hidgens could almost hear her getting more and more confident as they spoke, and soon she was back to her normal full-of-life self that she was allowed to express around him.

So, as she commanded, Hidgens waited that extra hour and came to her school gates at quarter to 4, just to be safe. And 4 on the dot Emma ran out to him. 

Hidgens crouched on the floor, opening his arms when Emma opened hers. This time she didn’t want to be lifted, instead she threw herself into Hidgens arms and stayed planted there, resting her head on his arm and staring out. 

Hidgens hadn’t noticed that of course, he patted her back and was smiling that he was able to see her again. “Hello Emma. Did you have a good day at school dear?” He greeted, pulling back and adjusting her coat for her; he was so happy to see her he just had to concentrate on something.

Emma punched his shoulder very lightly, like she was afraid of hurting him but when Hidgens smiled at her sign of affection Emma smiled back. She breathed out, she could finally relax, it was only Hidgens. Taking his big hand in hers she played with his fingers, her excited energy needing to be focused on one task as well. “Are you not gonna ask me why I’m so late?” She tempted.

Hidgens resigned, tilting his head with a smile. He had actually been wondering that himself. So he asked “Alright. Emma, why are you an hour late?”

Emma bared her teeth in a smile as Hidgens started to walk them both. She jumped up and down, full of energy, to get his attention. “Okay! So!” She started, running in front of him and walking backwards so she could watch his reaction better. She giggled before she could start again. “Basically, I joined the choir!”

Hidgens was watching out for any obstacles she may miss choosing to walk that way but made sure to keep most of his attention on her. He beamed, proud of her, as she spoke, that really was an achievement and great for her confidence. “Oh Emma that’s wonderful! You have an amazing voice darling! How did your first-“

Emma shook her head, still smiling though. “No no Hidgens! Listen! Because I do a club I stay at school later, so Jane walks home earlier and that means I can walk with you every day now!” She clasped his hand when she said his name. There was also a part of her that wanted to hold onto him incase he decided he didn’t want to walk Emma home every weekday. That that was too much of an annoyance and a commitment, of course in more simpler terms. Emma was afraid Hidgens would abandon her.

But upon seeing his smile grow and feeling his hand squeeze hers comfortingly Emma brushed off those thoughts and she knew she was being silly. Hidgens never thought bad thoughts of her.

“Oh Emma! That’s splendid news!” He would have clapped his hands if he wasn’t holding on to Emma’s. Not that he would have given up that option. “Are you sure it’s not too tasking, making you join a new society?”

Emma laughed. “No silly! Besides, you said you liked my voice, and I like yours too, so I thought singing would be good.”

Hidgens was about to ask more when Emma continued. 

“Plus my parents said they were happy with me, because I chose to do a club... I just think they wanted me away longer.”

Hidgens bristled whenever Emma’s parents were mentioned and her tone seemed to change drastically too. Even the volume of her voice lowered, like she was scared they’d be listening for her saying bad things about them. Hidgens wrapped his free arm around Emma’s shoulder and rubbed it to keep her warm and comforted. Hidgens wasn’t going to debate her fears but he was glad she was doing singing, something that seemed to make her happy.

Emma wasn’t on her happy mood again yet though. Because she was still thinking about her parents. “I don’t care.” She scoffed leaning into Hidgens touch. “I’m glad I’m gone longer.”

And even though Hidgens was glad of the fact too, he could tell she’d got some unhealthy, stubborn, coping methods.

“Oh Hidgens! We were even singing the little mermaid today!” Emma suddenly remembered and he watched in awe as she lit up again, all thoughts of her parents pushed aside as she looked up at him. She made an annoyed face and for one moment Hidgens mouth opened to ask if she was okay when she revealed why she looked upset. 

“But it was boring ‘part of your world’.” She stuck her tongue out in distaste and Hidgens laughed. He actually quite liked ‘part of your world’, it was quite a beautiful song, but he could try and understand it might be a more boring one for a child. Then he remembered whenever they had their car rides together with his cds and nodded. “Ah, yes. You much preferred when we did-“

“The Ursula song.” Emma interrupted again, seeming today to have all sorts of thoughts she wanted to let out before she had to leave Hidgens. She giggled in remberance. “You’re so funny doing it.”

So Hidgens started singing it for her. He felt a little weird at first doing it in the streets but there was a sparkle in Emma’s eyes as she looked up at him and that was all the motivation he needed. He liked to go a bit extra with this song. And he managed to keep his composure to stay on key. Although it was hard when Emma laughed her ass off at the way he sung ‘saint’.

“Do it again! Do it again!” She squealed, bouncing up and down with energy Hidgens didn’t even know how she stored. So he cleared his throat dramatically and Emma looked up clamping her lips shut to stop her from laughing. 

“On the whole I’ve been a _saiiiint!_”

Emma cackled with tears in her eyes, pure emotion flooding her while watching this amazing man as he continued singing- what was now- her favourite song for her. Just because it made her smile.

Emma continued chatting about how she came up with her master plan of joining a club but the more she spoke the mroe Hidgens got worried. Which is why he didn’t interrupt her. He need to know just how well founded his worries for her were, and her resistance to go home and the way she spoke about how her parents longed for her to be able to join all the clubs so she was never home to ‘bother’ them... Worrying was nowhere near a strong enough word.

“Emma do you mind if I ask you something very seriously?” He interrupted her for the first time today, and really one of the first times ever. 

That and the question itself set Emma’s alarm bells ringing. She gulped and begged her hand not to start sweating as Hidgens would feel. She was good at acting like everything was okay, she could lie to Hidgens couldn’t she? She thought he might be the one person who’d see right through her though. But she tried to act normal as she made sure to furrow her eyebrows like she was confused and asked “Is something wrong?”

Hidgens saw that fear in her face. He was quite surprised how quickly she was able to pull off that nonchalantness and the hint of surprise at his question, but that fear, all that anxiety and pain were still clear in her eyes. His voice trailed off with worry as he told her “Well that’s what I was about to ask you my dear...” 

He stopped in his tracks to show how serious he was and saw her fake smile falter as he did so. Placing his hands on her shoulders he tried to keep eye contact, moving his head around as she avoided him. “Is everything truly alright at home Emma dear?”

Emma couldn’t look into his eyes and lie, she’d break, she knew it. So she started hitting her head against his hand again. “Yeah, I just wanna see you more, is that alright?”

Even though it was light Hidgens didn’t like that she hit her head when she got overwhelmed with emotions like this. He tucked her hair behind her ear again with a meaning she knew well from past experiences. She stopped, but nuzzled frustratedly into his hand instead now. Hidgens couldn’t help but let out a nervous chuckle. “Well... of course that’s alright.”

Hidgens decided to change the subject by pulling out of his inside pocket a pair of small green gloves.

Emma’s eyes widened. They were too small for Hidgens, so was he?.. Was this a present?!

“Now you keep forgetting your gloves at home dear.” Hidgens didn’t know if she even had gloves but he wasn’t going to ask that, especially not after their last conversation. “So I thought it’d be best if I keep a hold of these and then whenever I pick you up you can wear them. I’ll take them back when I drop you off so there’s no chance you may forget them and I will have them ready for the next day.” He didn’t mention the fact if Emma walked home with gloves, not that her parents seemed to pay much attention to her anyways, but he didn’t want to risk them finding out where she got them from.

He looked to her for permission to put them on and she nodded, biting her wobbling lip with emotion and Hidgens couldn’t help but get slightly watery eyed for a moment. If such a simple gesture made her this happy he wondered how often she got proper gestures of love.

Firstly, though, Hidgens took off his grey scarf again and nodded to Emma, wrapping it those four times around her neck and making sure the material wasn’t covering her mouth. Then he moved on to her gloves.

Emma spoke as Hidgens slid them onto her hands. “Thank you Hidgens. I love them.” The only thing she didn’t like about them was that as she threw her arms around Hidgens long legs for a hug she couldn’t feel him as well. But his hand rubbing over her hair was good enough.

Hidgens hugged Emma close, stroking down her brown hair as she hid her face and thus emotions into his legs. But as she let out a massive yet adorable yawn that ended on a squeak he pulled back and smiled to her, holding her now gloved hand. 

Emma kept yawning in the next 5 minutes of their walk constantly, sometimes hidden into hers and thus Hidgens hand, sometimes she didn’t even bother hiding it. It was making Hidgens yawn quite a bit too if he was honest. “Are you tired Emma?” He asked, looking down at her sleepy form with empathy.

“Yeah.” Emma nodded slowly, then she put her arms straight up for him to pick her up. Hidgens was a little surprised but they’d known each other and trusted each other for a little while now and it wasn’t first time he’d held her, just the first time she’d asked so bluntly... because she felt like she could trust him. So, never one to refuse her requests, especially ones he’d gladly take up anyway, he took under her arms and lifted her onto his hip, Emma managing to stretch her arms enough to wrap them around Hidgens neck, and he walked with her. 

He was always surprised at the fact she felt like she weighed nothing. He knew she was skinny and small, it was obvious, but she was one of those people who just seemed to weigh about that of a feather, or at least that’s what he hoped...

“Are you too tried to walk Emma dear?” He asked as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Emma played with collar of his shirt. “Yeah.” She responded smally before her eyes started to droop shut. “I didn’t sleep well.”

Hidgens wanted to pry and poke more. Ask why she didn’t sleep well, ask why she never seemed happy when her parents were mentioned, why she changed her whole schedule so she could be away from them longer and so Hidgens could be the one to walk her. But his heart won out, and with the hope she may be able to shut her eyes for the rest of the walk, he remained silent. What he didn’t expect was that she’d be able to fall asleep so easily in his arms.

~

Emma yawned as she was sent off the couch to get her dad another drink. She’d managed to catch a catnap on Hidgens shoulder, even though she missed out on being able to talk to him more, but it didn’t substitute for all the missed sleep the past few days. 

She yawned more as she handed the green bottle over to her dad, about to sit back on the couch next to Jane, since her mother wanted them all to have a ‘film night’ and do something together as a ‘family’ when Emma was yanked backwards. She fell to the floor with a yelp, losing her footing as her dad grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her back to his feet. She looked up worried, he didn’t waste his time with her unless he needed something, or she’d done something wrong. “Emma?” He started off, grabbing her hair and pulling her back up to her feet again since she was still on the floor. Emma rubbed her scalp as he continued, his bad breath right in her face. “Did you forget something you silly girl?”

Emma looked to the bottle in his hands. That was the only thing he’d asked for! She swore! She hung onto his every word right when he asked her of something. Her dad clapped in her face when she didn’t answer and Emma jumped back from the loud noise and having his hands so close. 

“The bottle opener?! Christ Emma go get it before I get pissed.” He shoved her back towards the kitchen, Emma luckily being able to catch her footing this time. But she didn’t know if it was to do with lack of sleep, Hidgens words, the fact she’d experienced something more pleasant than her home life, or just the fact she was Emma. But she screamed, loud, clear and frustrated. Before balling up her fists and yelling back “I’m not your slave!!!”

It felt good to yell. She didn’t do it a lot. But unfortunately the consequences of yelling did not feel good.

“Jane, go upstairs.” Emma’s dad growled. And Jane, with a look to Emma, ran to her room obediently. Emma didn’t blame her, she was the only nice one to her, their parents were good to Jane and she didn’t really know the extent of Emma’s treatment.

Emma felt her legs trembling, but her heartbeat was still loud in her ears and her face was red with anger. Her parents always said they only wanted one child. Emma was a mistake, it was just too late to ‘do something’ about her when they found out her father sniped at her, even her mother when on her bad days had told Emma she wished she’d never had children. They always wanted a responsible mature child and that was Jane to a tee. Not Emma though. Emma was the screw up of the family. She knew it because that’s what she was always told.

Her father stood up now and Emma remembered just how tall he was. She, still, didn’t back down though.

“How DARE you?!” He launched the bottle Emma had passed him right at her head. With a scream Emma ducked just in time and heard it explode on the wall behind her. Her mother was screaming too now.

She watched as her dad stormed right up to her. He didn’t touch her, and the suspense was almost scarier to Emma.  
“Do you have any idea how much we do for you? We buy the clothes you’re wearing, the food you eat, the roof above your head. And you won’t do one thing when we ask! You’re very ungrateful little Emma...” The man was getting more and more riled up as he spoke and Emma was getting more scared and more angry, a worrying combination.

“You’re not nice to me! You’re bad parents!!”

Now Emma’s mum was angry too. She grabbed Emma’s arm harshly, her nails digging in, but Emma looked up to her with steel in her eyes, one that made her mum falter. “I wish I had other parents.”

Her father stood beside her mother, crossing his arms and laughing right in Emma’s face, both of them towering over her small form. “Like anyone else would want to be your parent!” He spat with venom dripping from his words.

And Emma had had enough. She knew he was wrong, she just knew it. Hidgens would. So she argued her point. “Yes they would! I know he would!” And then immediately regretted it as she saw her mother’s face pale, like she was going to be sick, and her fathers darken with rage.

“What?”

Emma gulped as her _mother_ was the one to question her. She waited for her dad to say something but for once he was quiet. So Emma took that opportunity to illuminate. “And he knows you’re bad parents and he’s a nice man! He’s nice to me!” Maybe if they knew there was someone else to care for Emma they’d be nicer to her, so they could be a proper family.

But her mother’s hushed voice made Emma confused. Why were they both so quiet? “What did you tell him?!” She hissed grabbing Emma’s shoulders and shaking her violently. 

Emma managed to wriggle free of her mother’s grip before crossing her arms and huffing. “Nothing, I’m not a snitch.” She told them. She knew not to tell people things about home.

“Emma answer your mother’s question. What have you told this man?” Her father asked quietly, or quiet for him. Emma shook, when they didn’t believe her is when they got very mad, until she told them what they wanted. “Nothing! I swear.” But sometimes even that wasn’t enough.

“Well then who the hell is it then?! A teacher?!?” Her father yelled. Emma remained silent but he could tell he hadn’t hit the mark. Then his eyebrows dropped as he remembered the words ‘nice man’. The ‘nice man’ who’d dropped Emma off and had tried to argue with him and his wife about how they raised Emma. A man disapproving in Emma’s home life.

“Emma. Was it the man who dropped you off from the mall?”

Emma’s heart stopped.

She still didn’t answer but frankly her father didn’t care. Even if it wasn’t him, once he tracked him down no one else would try to intervene.

Emma watched her father move out of her eyesight and when he came back into the room he had a shotgun in his hands. Even though she knew her mother never protected her, she still hid behind the woman who’d birthed her when he saw the weapon in her fathers hands. Because surely some part of her mommy wouldn’t let him kill her.

But it was a much much worse realisation for Emma when she realised who that gun was for.

“I’m going to kill that man.”

“Baby no-!”  
“No daddy-!”

“Quiet!” Her father snapped and Emma thought she was going to be sick right there. No.  
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!  
She wasn’t going to let anything bad happen to Hidgens! No! It was all her fault!!

“Baby why don’t you have another drink?” Emma’s mother recommended, sitting him down in his armchair. And even as he screamed “I don’t want another goddamn fucking drink!” He sat and let his wife take the gun out of his hands and get him something a little stronger than beer.

Emma didn’t fully understand guns. But she knew well enough, when she saw her mother cock it and empty out bullets, that it was loaded and her dad was ready to shoot.

Emma looked to her mother in pure terror and even her mother seemed to sympathise with a grimace with what had just happened to Emma. But she turned away and went on pouring.

Emma looked to her dad, who held his face in his hands and tried to tiptoe upstairs. But as soon as she moved her father barked her name. And although Emma didn’t stand next to him she stayed put.

“Emma.” Her father started. Emma gulped and tried to be good, she’d feared for lives tonight, she didn’t want that again. She’d just be good from now on.

“Yes, daddy?” She croaked out. Her father removed his hands from his face and stared down at his daughter with murder in his eyes.

“See that man again and I’ll kill the both of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may be able to tell I love Robert in the spooky broadway video as Ursula 😂
> 
> Oof, I managed to get another one out, hurrah! I’m enjoying writing this series actually aha, just hoping if i stay at this pace I can get the Christmas one out by Christmas haha
> 
> As always please please please leave some comments and let me know what you thought!!  
Thanks for reading 💕


	6. Lying to Protect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens gets worried the day after he drops Emma off she doesn’t meet him after school. But when he eventually tracks her down, the threat of Emma’s last conversation with her father is controlling all her actions

Hidgens got to Emma’s school gates at 10 to 4, he always liked to be early, and watched as the choir children rushed out to their parents at 4 exactly. All the children he’d seen yesterday... except Emma.

He waited a few extra minutes, maybe Emma was straggling being with her bag, or talking to a teacher about how she was finding choir, or even on the toilet. She was never late to see Hidgens, but he didn’t allow himself to worry. That is until at 4:13 he saw who he presumed to be the choir teacher start to get into their car.

There was no way a teacher would leave a child in the school so there was only one explanation, Emma hadn’t gone to choir practice. But probably more chilling was that she hadn’t called to tell Hidgens about it.

Hidgen rushed home in a panic. He knew he probably shouldn’t be panicking but this hadn’t happened before. He told himself maybe she took the day off, sick. She was exhausted yesterday. But two things from that theory didn’t add up. If she had the house to herself Emma would be even more likely to call him and secondly, unless she was on her deathbed, Emma would never choose to stay at home.

Once he got back home he ran to his phone to see if any messages had been left. 

None. 

There was one thing Hidgens could do to try and calm his nerves, but he knew how risky it was. Although it seemed like the only way to try and get a clue as to what had happened. He was going to call Emma’s home.

He anxiously picked up the phone and dialled the number, biting his thumb as he waited on the rings. Hidgens heart burst with glee for just one millisecond as he heard a little girls voice on the other end. 

“Perkins residence, how may I help you?” 

But quickly realised this was not Emma’s voice. So it must have been Jane. Aside from being shocked at how formal her telephone greeting was that seemed to be ingrained in her it was anxiety inducing in general. Speaking to her for the first time yes but mostly that it wasn’t Emma, so if she put him on to her parents or even let on he had called, it could lead to disatourous consequences for Emma and him.

Luckily for Hidgens, he had always been outstanding at improv. “Hello this is a teacher from Emma’s school, we’d just like to speak to her please.” He tried. It wasn’t his best effort, his emotions were clouding his abilities, but as a professor he could put on that strict authoritative voice. One he hoped Jane would follow. Unfortunately there seemed to be a higher authority at play here.

“Erm I’m supposed to put people onto my parents first...”

“Oh no that’s not needed!” Hidgens quickly told her, having to bite his tongue. He couldn’t set her alarm bells off, it was integral. He decided to just ask the formal questions, to get this phone conversation over and done with quickly rather than risking any more out of her. “We were just wondering if Emma was ill, some teachers said they were worried as she didn’t turn up to choir practice.” Hidgens hoped to God he hadn’t said anything that Jane knew Emma’s teachers would know. Or God forbid ask which teacher was speaking. Luckily she just moved on to answer his question.

“I don’t think so sir. I mean I walked home with her today and she said she definitely isn’t doing choir anymore, plus she didn’t seem ill.”

“You walked with her?” Hidgens interrupted. He tried to hold his tongue but he just didn’t understand, although he was starting to realise Emma had purposefully left without him, what he didn’t understand was why. “Was this at 3?” He checked.

Jane cleared her throat on the other end, seeming uncomfortable under his serious line of questioning. “3:15 when I get out yeah...”

That was her old routine!

“Do you still need to speak to my mom or dad?”

Well Hidgens wasn’t as worried about Emmas parents as much any more. “Ah no that’s okay, no need to even mention it and worry them, it’s all sorted.” Only because he was more worried about Emma herself.

“Okay, bye.”

Hidgens let the dial tone go at the other end as he rubbed his temples worriedly. What was going on?

The next day Hidgens waited outside the gates from half 2, and at 5 past 3 he saw Emma shuffling out of the building. 

He breathed a sigh of relief that physically she seemed to be fine, and watched as she leant against a wall, presumably waiting for Jane.

He watched as Emma’s eyes swivelled, bored until they landed on him. He smiled but Emma quickly looked away as if she hadn’t seen him. Then Hidgens began to get confused as she straightened up and stiffly began to walk away from the school and out of the gates, on her own.

Unsure, Hidgens stayed behind her and called out her name. At first, he wasn’t sure if she could hear him because she didn’t respond. So he called once more, louder and this time she froze.

When she turned around to face him all Hidgens could think to do was give her a small wave, fingers to palms, just like she did. That and an even smaller smile.

Emma looked like she was about to turn around and flat out ignore him but he saw her face twist with indecision. And then, happily for Hidgens, she walked back towards him. But his smile dimmed all the way into a frown as her head bent lower and lower the closer she got to him, even though she stayed a good foot away when she finally decided to acknowledge him.

“I was just gonna walk on my own today.” Emma mumbled, her hair curtaining her face on both sides as she hung her head, as if to keep her anonymity.

“Nonsense Emma!” Hidgens started. He wasn’t going to let her self confidence stop her from doing activities she seemed to actually enjoy, like choir, and walking with him. “Even if you’re not waiting for your sister it’s freezing outside and you forgot your gloves again, here-“

Hidgens attemtped to help her slide them on again, just like the day before yesterday. She’d loved her present. So he was extremely shocked as Emma reacted so badly to them.

“No!” She shouted, pushing Hidgens hands back before quickly holding her own like his touch burned. It was terrifying for Emma, if she forgot she was wearing the gloves her parents would see them and know. They’d know she saw him again. He had to leave!

Hidgens stumbled on his footing a bit, not expecting Emma to psychically shove him away but he was fine, psychically at least. Hidgens was shocked but he quickly pocketed the gloves. “I’m sorry Emma, I’m not trying to smother you.” He apologised sincerely, his own head hanging ashamedly. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Emma nodded, her red fingers curling around the sleeves of her coat. “Well then... I can’t really walk home with you today.”

“Why don’t you want to walk home together?” Hidgens leant down to get closer to her height, closer to her. To let her know she could trust him, and tell him what was wrong. What he’d done wrong.

Emma whined lowly. “I said I just can’t.” After speaking, then she wrapped her arms around her stomach like she was going to be sick. 

He reached out to hold her back comfortingly but stopped his hand mid air. He didn’t think touching her would help right now, which was unusual for someone who normally was so touch starved. So instead he moved onto his question, furrowing his eyebrows. “‘Can’t’ isn’t the same as not wanting to dear.”

He watched as Emma held her own hand as he called her ‘dear’, swaying on her feet nervously. 

Hidgens couldn’t take this. Something was different, something bad was going on with her. Hidgens knelt fully on his knees, on the cold pavement, looking up to Emma so she couldn’t hide her face anymore. And she looked astonished at the lengths he was going, her eyes widened and lips slightly sorted into an ‘o’ shape. He whined.

“Emma what’s _wrong_?”

Emma whispered now. _”I can’t talk about it.”_

“And who said that?”

Although Hidgens already knew the answer, and was very angry with the answer. Not that he let that show in front of young Emma. “Emma if you talk to me I can help you.” He pleaded her to understand.

“I have to get home, Jane and my parents are waiting for me.”

He didn’t touch her but got up and followed a few steps behind as she went back into the school grounds to find her sister. The dead way she spoke that last sentence sent a chill through Hidgens entire body.

He spoke behind her but could tell from her raised shoulders she was still listening. “Emma I just want to know everything’s okay, I’ll go if that’s what you really want but I can’t help but worry.”

Emma was almost crying at this point, she hadn’t had anyone worry about her this much. How much did she need to yell at him to push him away?!  
“Yes it’s fine I just don’t want to talk to you right now!”

“Okay okay. Deep breaths...”

Emma didn’t care that she was close to full on sobbing now. She span around and balled her fists and yelled right up at Hidgens with all the breath she could muster. She had to save him.  
“No! I’m not doing deep breaths! You can’t tell me what to do because- because you’re not my dad, so you’re not allowed to act like it!” Emma was crying now. “It’s not fair...”

“Of course not, I’m sorry de- I’m sorry Emma. Get home safe?”  
Hidgens whole heart had shattered. 

Shattered completely for the last time. And now after so much heartache, it was well and truly broken. That fight had broken him. But now he had little fight left in him. Not if she didn’t need fighting for.  
He didn’t feel real as his eyes followed her walking away, her own eyes steely and red with tears and determination.

Emma walked away from Hidgens, having spotted Jane’s friends coming outside now. But before she ran off for good, she tilted her head to the side, so all she could see was the blur of Hidgens body. 

“I don’t think you should collect me again.” 

Then she sprinted off and into Jane’s unexpecting arms.

When Emma lifted her head and started to walk with Jane she looked around but saw Hidgens was nowhere to be seen. It was for the best...

It didn’t feel like that to Emma.

Emma just cried and cried on her way home. She had to say all that horrible untrue stuff to him. When in reality Emma thought if Hidgens was her... her dad, then everything would be okay.

Jane tried to comfort Emma. Emma appreciated it, and she let her big sister tuck her under her arm as she asked if the kids in her class were bullying her again. She couldn’t answer, Emma couldn’t tell Jane the truth of why she was heartbroken... ashamed, guilty, lost and now really really scared without someone she thought might actually protect her. So all Emma could do was cry into Jane and let her sister try and take care of her for just a little while.

And Jane did just that, to the best of her 8 year old abilities. She wiped Emma’s tears with her sleeve before they got to their house and made sure to tell her little sister over and over again that eventually, everything would be alright.

Emma normally listened to her sister. She was older, smarter, more confident. But this time Emma knew, things would just get much, much worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay new chapter! It felt a lil shorter than normal to me but I hope you guys like it and it wasn’t disappointing or anything! Please please leave any comments as they really do help and thanks so much for reading!


	7. Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens contacts his lawyer and sees Emma with her family, learning a few important things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there is a REFERENCE to a character in Black Friday in this chapter but it’s only a reference, to a small character and doesn’t spoil the plot or anything even about the character himself at ALL so i’d say it’s safe to read but wanted to tell y’all anyway in case anyone got upset or wants not a single single thing about the show spoiled, but I promise it really doesn’t spoil Black Friday, it was just too good an opportunity to pass up since I needed a certain job in this fic to come into play, anyway here’s the next chapter 💕

It had only been 2 or 3 days and Hidgens was still confused about what had gone on with Emma. He’d leave her alone if that was what she wanted, of course he would, but the worry that she wasn’t speaking freely and, the worst thought being that she may be being _hurt..._ he just couldn’t ignore it if that was the case.

Hidgens had actually been on the phone to his lawyer a few times- because he was well off. He’d expressed his concerns and little things he’d picked up on, theories he had, all while keeping Emma and her families anonymity of course, and he was still discussing if the police should be involved for the child’s safety. 

“Look Henry, okay maybe she just realised ‘oh my parents banning me from having cookies and staying up late isn’t that bad and I should stop worrying this poor man’” his lawyer suggested. Hidgens shook his head aggressively on the other side of the phone from that, not that the other man could see, so he vocalised his distaste in that theory.

“No Garrett, you don’t understand. I have serious concerns over this child’s physical and mental welfare not to mention her saftey!”

“Hidgens-“

“No listen to me Goldstein-“ Hidgens interrupted, beginning to become fed up. He only hushed his voice because he was in the market place and people were beginning to stare. “I don’t want to hear a news story of a little girls beaten body floating in the river and find out we could have done something about it. I’ve given you all the evidence I have!”

“And that’s the problem Hidgens!” Garrett interrupted. Hidgens could hear the man sighing on the other end so paused with his own sigh to let him continue. “Without talking to the little girl, physical evidence, a warrant or a credible witness we don’t have much to go on!”

Hidgens slid his hand down his face, huffing frustratedly. And Garrett could very well feel that frustration. “Look, I’m still on this case because I have a son around her age! And if anything like what you think is happening to that girl happened to him I’d be devastated, so I hope you know I’m getting emotionally connected here. That means I’m putting a lot on the line for you!” 

Hidgens had heard about the son before and it was one of the reasons he wanted Garretts help specifically. But the last section of his tired lawyers speech is what got Henry most interested.

“What do you mean? You’re going off the book?” He questioned intensely, his attention properly taken away from his shopping now.

“Look. You’ve always been a good client and I know you’ve got a good heart in ya too. Not to mention you’re a smart man, when you’re right Hidgens, you’re usually right. And goddamnit if it ain’t pulling at my heartstrings thinkin about that lil girl’s possible situation.”

Hidgens got more excited as Goldstein got less professional. 

“I’ve got some people who are good at digging out the dirt. Give me their names and I’ll be able to find criminal records but even things they got off on, shit that really ain’t supposed to be open to us ‘sleaze ball lawyers’. But I’m sure they won’t know it’s not fair game.”

“Oh Garrett I could kiss you.” Hidgens exhaled for the first time today. Finally they were making some progress. He started giving him the parents names when he was cut off by something he saw.

“Henry? Henry what was that? I heard the parents names what’s the kids?”

“Emma...”

“Ah gotcha!”

But Hidgens wasn’t saying it to answer any questions. He said it because of what he saw. Emma across the road with her ‘family’.

Neither of her parents were paying attention to her as she crossed the road, in fact she was behind them, so out of their view, with her head bent, so not looking herself and certainly not holding hands.

“And did you mention a sister in this family?”

“I’ve got to go.” Hidgens told him before quickly stuffing his bulky mobile into his jacket pocket. He didn’t want to be alarming, but he had to make sure she wasn’t being hurt.

He didn’t like the way her parents pulled Emma when she fell even slightly behind. With a tight grip on her wrist that made her parents knuckles white, so he couldn’t image what it was doing to Emma.

Then he saw her father yanking her wrist out of her mother’s hand and pulling Emma close. He leaned down and hissed something in her face and even from here Hidgens could see that Emma was shaking. Emma just nodded her head, like she was trying so hard to be obedient and Hidgens heart broke as he saw that all her strength and individuality was being depleted from her soul.

Her father, seeming not to be able to yell at her for agreeing with him, shoved Emma’s shoulders forward. And he kept shoving whenever she fell behind. She was going at a fast rate for her height! Hidgens was appalled, covering his mouth so as not to alert his presence even though he was over the road. She wasn’t an adult, she couldn’t make those big strides! She was trying, to avoid punishment, but what they were asking of her was either impossible or physically straining on Emma.

He followed closely behind, perturbed, just across the busy street so it wasn’t like they’d notice him just keeping an eye out. His shopping was once more going to be abandoned for Emma.

A gasp flew out of Hidgens mouth as her mother slapped Emma’s hand hard when Emma reached out for something. He watched Emma hiss in pain but clamp her lips shut and he wished he could scream for her. Hidgens got even angrier as the mother recahed for the dress up necklace Emma was looking at and handed it over to Jane who wasn’t even paying attention to that stall. Not that he blamed Jane of course, she hadn’t even seen Emma wanting the item. But seeing Emma’s crestfallen face as she followed behind, nursing her hand... well if this is what their family dynamic was in public Hidgens was mortified as to what may go on behind closed doors.

He had that same mortified expression on his face when Emma saw him.

Emma had spotted Hidgens across the road when she was trying to look anywhere but at her ‘family’, to escape. And then she found the face of the one person Emma thought could literally help her escape.

Emma stared wide eyed, thinking for a moment she was imagining him, and Hidgens gulped looking back at Emma. But then his gaze averted to her parents in abhorrent shock horror.   
And Emma started to cry.  
Cry, because she wanted to go to Hidgens right now, to run up to him have him pick her up and hide her from her parents, to tuck her under his arm and tell her everything was going to be okay. But Emma was afraid her dad would kill Hidgens, as in literally beat him to death and not care if the police caught him, and Emma just couldn’t have that.

But she still couldn’t walk away.

Hidgens raised his hand slowly and in awe. Then he waved to her, fingers to palm. And timidly, Emma waved back.

“EMMA!”

The loud shout startled both Hidgens and Emma out of their trance like state, where they were the only two people in Hatchetfield. So for a second Emma forgot about her dad’s threat. Emma just thanked whatever thing was out there that controlled their lives that her dad was yelling at her in general and like always wasn’t paying attention to her. So he hadn’t seen Hidgens.

Hidgens watched Emma run off, back to her family and decided to let her go for now. So he watched them walk off out of his eyesight, and he hadn’t even gotten to wave bye to Emma.

But that brief interaction taught Hidgens so many things. That Emma didn’t want to never see Hidgens again. That Emma did need help. And that he would stop at nothing until she was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a smaller chapter but the next two are gonna be majorly important so it wasn’t appropriate to add this onto any other chapter, so you have a bit of a smaller one for now but I hope it’s still good! Thanks so much for reading and as always comments really help motivate me so if you have anything to say pls lmk! 💕


	8. Taking Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Hidgens lives and finally going to start to change. Not until some heartbreak though.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

Emma jumped at her dads voice in her room, she hadn’t even heard him come in. Emma had been sitting in the dark, pretending to be asleep while she motioned a stuffed dinosaur around, which she now held close to her chest. “I- I’m playing.” She meekly told the shadow of her father lurking in her doorway.

“Playing.” Her father spat. Emma could tell he was extremely drunk just from the smell that wafted in as he stepped closer into her room, his weight creaking on the floorboards. Not to mention his watery eyes, that she knew weren’t from any sympathy towards her, or any feelings her sociopathic father may actually still have. “Is that because you have no real friends to play with?”

Emma stayed frozen on the floor, too scared to make any sudden movements. She didn’t disagree with him though.

“Well, apart from grown ass men, since they seem to want to be your friend too, little Emma.”

She hated that nickname, and she hated the way her father said it. Her fingers twitched against the toy. She couldn’t see in the dark the complete feral anger in her fathers eyes as he mentioned that.

“It’s past your bedtime missy. You shouldn’t be awake.” He just continued. There was a threatening tone seething in his voice and Emma knew not to push his buttons especially right now.

“I- I’ve been really quiet.” She even whispered it to make her point. She hadn’t said a word, she’d even been focusing on keeping her breathing low as she played. Emma felt her heart crash against her ribs, like it was trying to escape as she watched her father raise one eyebrow.

“Did you just talk back to me?!”

Emma knew all too well he had been set off. And when that happened nothing would stop him. Emma tried to stand up, to run. Her father shoved his foot out and kicked her back onto the floor hard. Her throat tightened to the point she couldn’t breathe.

“I AM YOUR FATHER!”

~

It was 8pm when Hidgens got a call from Emma’s household. Now he hesitated to pick up the phone since Emma’s bedtime was 7, so his first thought was what if it was her parents and they’d finally found out. Slowly, he recahed for the phone and as soon as the receiver was to his ear he was thankful he picked up. Because the first thing he heard was Emma’s hard sobbing on the other end.

“Emma!” Hidgens gasped, his heart breaking as he heard her hiccuping for breath. He tried to get her to talk. “Emma what’s wrong darling?!”

“D-Da-Dad h-hit me again.”

That was all Hidgens needed. He grabbed his car keys and stormed out the house, running to his vehicle and thanking the Lord or whatever forces were out there he had a mobile phone so he could keep talking to her, keep hearing in case her monster of a father came back. “Oh I’m so sorry Emma. I shouldn’t have left you with them!” He tried to apologise. Now wasn’t the time.

“Hidgens I-I need you! I’m too scared.”

Hidgens tried to hush Emma as he got the car started, but she wasn’t done speaking. 

“I’m sorry! Hidgens I’m really really sorry!” She choked out, and it was obvious she was trying so hard to be quiet with her cries, but just couldn’t help herself. Hidgens tried soothing her instead. “Emma ssh ssh sssssh sweetheart, none of this is your fault!”

Emma cut him off again and Hidgens let her, needing to know everything he could. “No! I mean I didn’t want to say that stuff the other day, but my dad said he’d kill us if I saw you again!”

Hidgens was completely and utterly horrified at the fact they’d threatened their daughters very life. And then...

“I couldn’t let him kill you!”

Hidgens would have been happy with how much she cared about him if it wasn’t for literally every other circumstance surrounding their conversation right now. “Darling don’t worry about me so much. I’m almost there.” He ran through an orange-turned-red light as horns blared at him. “I’m coming soon Emma!”

Hidgens listened to young Emma crying over the sound of traffic and he was almost hyperventilating. It was terrifying to listen to but there was no way in hell that would stop him from keeping his ears open. “Emma, listen to me dear. Don’t hang up the phone, okay?” He made sure to tell her. He didn’t want to tell her why though, and scare her more. Luckily she just answered with “O-Okay Hidgens.” She trusted him.

When Hidgens was only minutes away he realised he hadn’t even come up with a plan for when he got there! “Shit!” He growled to himself, his hands tight on the wheel. It wasn’t like he could just go waltzing in through their front door! _Think Hidgens think._ He would do just that if it came down to it, he’d fight tooth and claw to get Emma out of there. But there were smarter ways to go about this.

“Emma? Can you sneak out like how you told me before?” Hidgens asked hopefully. She’d mentioned that if the tv was even slightly loud it wasn’t too hard for her to hide behind the kitchen table and reach the door that way. But he swore again as Emma told him no. “They locked my door.” She cried, starting to lose hope.

But of course, Hidgens wasn’t going to allow that. He’d find a way. “Emma I’m pulling up at your street now, I’m going to hang up and then I’m going to come to your window, just try and stay quiet for me while I get there, okay?” He was grateful her bedroom was on the ground floor.

Once Hidgens had made sure Emma knew he wasn’t just leaving her he threw his phone to the side and opened the drawer in his passenger seat. He took out his Swiss Army knife and stuck it in his back pocket. It wasn’t for protection, but that second use may have to come into play if it really meant getting Emma out of there.

Once he was outside of their house Hidgens felt like his heart was going to betray him with how loud it was beating. Of course that was impossible, but he was the most tense he’d been in years. Peeking over the car in the driveway he saw that the curtains at the front and side of the house were closed. Not unexpected, due to the nature of what happened behind those windows, but still helpful. Hidgens spritely ran until his back was pressed against the wall of the house, his head ducked under the windowsills. In his mind this was the most important task he’d ever done. He ran under the windows, close to the bricks to stay as far out of sight as possible, until he got to the window that he knew the owner of. And carefully, he popped out his head.

Emma managed to clamp her lips tight shut but ran towards the window as soon as she saw Hidgens there. He really had come! And he was going to get her out of there. 

Hidgens eyes widened as he saw Emma, wanting to breathe a sigh of releif but it wasn’t over yet. Emma waved to him, fingers to palms from the window and Hidgens just had to wave back. Give her that normalcy, the slight sense that things were okay. Something he did not believe himself.

Emma placed her palm flat against the window, her other hand was balled up and rubbing against her red raw cheeks as tears spilled uncontrollably. Hidgens placed his hand there back for just a second, giving her that gesture but knowing he’d have all the time in the world to be affectionate once he got Emma out of there.

Confused, Emma stared at Hidgens as he flapped his hands about, it was like he was swatting a fly but he was looking at her intensely. She didn’t understand! It made Emma fell more helpless, like she just wanted to curl under a ball and wait for Hidgens to bust in himself. But she wouldn’t do that, she needed to help herself too, no matter how little she could do on this side. But mouthing “I don’t understand!” Was enough to make things work. Because swiftly after, Hidgens mouthed back “You need to move back!”

Emma nodded frantically, standing back but not running to go too towards her door, and thus her family. She understood why he said this as she watched a knife being jammed through the bottom of her bedroom window.

Hidgens had remembered about the superglue, so he came prepared. He wasn’t going to let her stay in that ‘home’ a second longer! He pushed and shoved until the knife cut through the hardened glue. And then he sliced left to right until it was unstuck, needing the knife to pry open the stiff window from lack of use, till he could just reach his fingertips underneath it. With great effort Hidgens pushed the window up, it resisting quite a lot at first. Emma silently cheered him on until the knife was away. Then Hidgens was shocked as the window suddenly flew up, until he saw Emma who’d helped push it past that final barrier. Now there was nothing but a half wall between them.

There weren’t words. Emma immediately raised her arms, the closest to words being a whimper, and Hidgens almost as immediately grabbed under Emma’s arms and pulled her through the open window. He quickly set her down, grabbing her all over to check for damage frantically, before pulling her close into a hug. To reassure her, to reassure him, that she was safe now. It didn’t stop them both from crying though.

But they weren’t out of the woods yet. Hidgens let Emma go to quietly close her window, to make it seem as if nothing had happened. “We can’t talk here.” He whispered hurriedly to her, looking around to see if anyone had heard him. She was looking up at him with these big, trusting eyes and he crouched down to take her hands. “Come into my car, it’s warmer. C’mon sweetheart.” Hidgens lifted Emma into his arms, Emma wrapping her legs around Hidgens waist, leaning her head against his chest to shield her eyes.

A hand was kept pressed against Emma’s head lightly, the other against her back to keep her attached to Hidgens body as he crouched and shuffled under the windows again. It was slightly harder with Emma there, more the pressure of exposing her too if they were caught rather than her almost non-existing weight. Hidgens paused under each window to listen out for any sounds, but he had to hush Emma whenever she whimpered, even though it was as quiet as a mouse, he wasn’t risking anything. With calm eyes he extended his lips to shush her without actually making the noise, and Emma peeked her head out to look then nod at Hidgens, before tucking it back into his chest and screwing her eyes closed again.

Without any sound, Hidgens snuck past the front of the house, Emma still clinging to him, and then he made a run for his car. He didn’t stop acting fast as he unlocked the passenger side and pried Emma off him carefully to place her there, closing that door quietly before running around to the drivers side and sliding into his seat, closing his door just as quietly and that was the last slow movement he was making. 

Hidgens frantically flicked on the light above them and pressed his hands to either side of Emma’s head. “Are you okay?!” He nearly shouted, he had been so scared when he got the call. “Where did they touch you?! How much did they hurt you?”

“I’m alright!” Emma cried out, but Hidgens didn’t believe she was being truthful, not that he blamed her for it. He tilted her chin lightly to the side and saw her right cheek was much redder than her left, and there was a slight shine under her eye there that wasn’t from tears. “Oh God, Emma.” He whispered, panicked. “Tell me exactly what happened tonight.”

Emma hiccuped as she sobbed. Hidgens hands were a nice cold touch against her burning cheek, even though he only lightly touched around her marks, which she liked too. “I... I don’t know what I did wrong! Dad just got drunk again! And he yelled loads of bad words at me. And I tried Hidgens! I tried to hide under my bed because he can’t get me there!” Emma was properly wailing now, bawling but not for attention, she was finally able to let all that fear out. “But! But he ripped my bed up from over me! He threw it across the room Hidgens! I was so scared!” Her only safe place had been torn apart. That had been the biggest trigger. That things were only going to get worse. That she needed help, now.

Hidgens was absolutely horrified, he could only imagine how terrified she must have been. And he wasn’t there to help her. No one was.

“And then- And then he grabbed my wrist like this-!” Emma mimed pulling her wrist up but yelled as she touched it too hard. Hidgens immediately left her other cheek to go examine it. “And he threw me against the wall, my back hit the bed and it really hurt but dad didn’t care.”

Moving her wrist around slightly he could already tell it was sprained, luckily it wasn’t any worse. He’d make sure to look at her back for any bruising later on too. But now he, carefully, took her hands, noticing the fingernail scrapings that were too big for Emma’s own nails, all down her forearms from her hands. “Emma this is very serious. Have they hurt you before?”

Emma nodded, sniffling and Hidgens nodded back. “You’re doing really well darling Emma, I’m so proud.” Emma burst into another round of sobbing at that, using her hands to roughly wipe away at her tears which Hidgens tried to get her to stop, before she hurt herself more. He had to ask one more question, even though Emma was his priority he wasn’t a monster and had other concerns too. “What about Jane? Have they ever hurt her too?”

He wasn’t too surprised when Emma shook her head. Looking at how they treated their daughters in the marketplace it was astoundingly clear there was major favouritism going on.

“They’ve spanked Jane only when she’s been really really naughty and they’re only spankings.”

Hidgens nodded to her. He disagreed with any corporal punishment but it wasn’t illegal and judging by Emma’s face wasn’t all that harsh, at least in comparison to what she suffered. “But they don’t treat you as they do her.” He wasn’t sure if he was saying this to himself or Emma. 

Emma, misunderstanding, told him tearily “They don’t treat me at all...”

Hidgens couldn’t take any more of this. Careful, and open to where she seemed to flinch if he touched, he scooped Emma up, over the gear stick and tucked her into his lap. Emma gladly embraced this, throwing her arms around Hidgens and burrowing her head into his neck, her hot tears burning his skin or staining his turtleneck. He placed his chin on top of her head, rocking her in his lap as he hummed to her. He just wanted to soothe her for now. He wanted her to know she was safe, now that she was with him. He’d never let anything happen to her.

Emma looked up to Hidgens with big, blurry eyes. Her hands found his and she held onto his too-big thumbs, seeking that comfort. She rested her cheek against his shoulder, stroking his thumbs but her hiccups morphing into steady breaths. All this before she whispered to him her biggest secret. 

_“I wish you were my dad.”_

Hidgens stopped breathing. 

Oh... Oh those words meant the world to him. 

Hidgens carefully wrapped his arm around Emma’s shaking body, holding her close to his chest. No one was getting to his daughter. 

“Would you like that? Truly Emma?” 

He made sure of this.

“Well... yeah.” Emma looked up to him and kept her eye contact this time. “Yeah I mean it.”

“Well come with me then.” 

Hidgens unwrapped Emma’s hands from around his body. And she was so confused she didn’t put up a fight as he placed her back into the passenger seat, and even as he reached over her side to grab her seatbelt and strapped her in quickly. Emma only got more confused as she felt the rumble of the car starting beneath her. She looked up to Hidgens to ask him but paused as she saw this determination in his eyes, his eyes which were pinned to the road in front of them.

“Don’t worry Emma, you won’t have to see those people again.”

Emma gripped the door and peered out of her window, watching her house disappear into the darkness. Whipping her head back to Hidgens she saw his face hadn’t changed. 

“I’m taking you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you have to slightly edit an old already published chapter bc of layout issues you forgot abt for the future when writing it 🙃
> 
> Ooooh told you there’d be some changes going on this chapter. Things are finally starting to happen for the two of them. 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter and please please leave any comments you have as they really mean a lot to me and help me stay motivated with writing. Thank you so much for reading! 💕


	9. Sorting Adult Things Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued from last chapter, Emma has some objections in Hidgens ‘plan’.   
+  
Emma finally goes to Hidgens home and meets the Goldsteins

Emma gripped at the car door just under her window, looking as her street disappeared over the slope Hidgens drove down. She started to hyperventilate. “No! No Hidgens I can’t just leave!” She told him, whipping her head back to try and make eye contact. But his eyes were hard set on the road ahead. 

“Yes you can dear. They were bad for you. They were bad _to_ you. You don’t deserve to be hurt like that!” Hidgens tried not to get himself riled up in front of her. That was the last thing he wanted.

Emma pulled at his arm, lightly though, because he was driving, and she knew the risks. “No no no!” She panicked, tugging once more. “Hidgens!” Emma added scared when he didn’t respond.

“Emma darling please don’t tug on me while I’m driving sweetheart?” He kept his voice soft for her, not like he was upset with her anyway, how could he be? He flicked his eyes to her just once, just to make sure she was dealing and was okay. She was not.

Emma tucked her legs up onto the seat and rested her chin on them, hugging them close. “I want to get my things.” She murmured.

Hidgens got a twitch in his eye. Not good when he was driving, especially with Emma in the passenger seat. He heard her voice wobbling.

“I wanna say bye to Jane...”

Emma kept her eyes on her feet, even as Hidgens spoke. But “Goddamnit” wasn’t enough to get her attention. What was was when she was startled as Hidgens hit the steering wheel, she jumped straight to attention then. 

“Sorry, Emma. I’m not upset at you.” Hidgens quickly apologised, relaxing his knuckles over the wheel. Then he did something Emma wasn’t expecting even more. He started to pull over.

Emma stared at him as he brought the car to a halt, he seeemd to take a moment to collect his thoughts as he didn’t look at her straight away. Once he did he accompanied it by taking her hands up in his again. Running over them because they were cold.

“Emma I can’t take you back there. It goes against everything in my nature and moral code to place you back where you’ll be hurt. Do you understand?”

He hoped she didn’t _want_ to stay there. No. That seemed impossible. Even if she was scared to death of the consequences, or brainwashed, she’d called him for help. He just needed to know how much to give her.

“Don’t you want to stay with me?”

Emma was shocked at the thought. She tried to tell him just how wrong he was but Hidgens was determined to not let her feel trapped. He looked to her forehead, her cheeks, wherever a cut or bruise lay, but not into her eyes. He couldn’t risk getting emotional and making her feel forced into a choice she wasn’t comfortable with.

“If not Emma that’s okay. It really is! Just tell me and we can find you somewhere more suitable that you’re happy with. I just need you to be safe.”

“Hidgens I’m already happy with you!” Emma promised him, starting to cry again now. She couldn’t pass this up, Hidgens was her happy ending. “That’s what I want more than the world! ...But there has to be a better way.” Emma pleaded, tightening her grip on his hands as much as she could as she looked straight into Hidgens eyes, and finally he looked back. 

“You’re a professor. You can figure something out.”

Hidgens sighed, letting go of her hands to massage his temples. Oh god, this was tricky. 

Emma licked her lips nervously. “Hidgens they might say you kidnapped me.”

Hidgens already knew, technically this was already a kidnapping. If he kept on like this now, he had no chance of getting custody over Emma, and if he went on the run she could never have a normal life. He had committed multiple felonies tonight, well unless he could convince someone he did it because he believed Emma was in danger at home...

Oh...

Oh there was someone. Someone very convincing, with a lot of power, who already believed his story. And now he had Emma for proof.

Emma gasped with surprise as Hidgens restarted the car. But quickly, he soothed her fears. 

“Emma don’t worry. I’m taking you to my home now to look after you but I’m going to do this the right way.”

Emma didn’t seem totally convinced, this was all very complicated, especially for the six year old smack bang in the middle of it. But Hidgens could read Emma like a book. He placed his arm over the head of her seat. “Emma do you trust me?”

Emma had to shake her own head, to get out of those bad thoughts. There wasn’t anyone she trusted... except for Hidgens. “I do.” She promised him, and she felt herself eased as he smiled at her. 

“I promise you Emma. Everything’s going to work out just fine.”

When Hidgens pulled up to his house he reached over to undo Emma’s seatbelt, even though she knew she was very capable of it on her own. He went over to open her door for her and Emma hopped out, grabbing Hidgens hand with her good one and gripping on tight. His house was big, much bigger than Emma had expected let alone seen in Hatchetfield. “You live in a castle.” Emma joked but it came out flat.

Hidgens gave her a laugh as he turned the key and opened the door, locking it soon after behind him and Emma. He flicked on the lights and that’s when he realised Emma was just in her thin pyjamas. “Oh dear, you must be freezing!” Hidgens started to walk with her. “Emma dear will you come with me to my study?” He asked, giving her that option but she kept right by his side the whole time. 

Hidgens flicked on the light in there and smiled at her. “There we go. Big comfy couch for you dear.” He cooed, lifting her under her arms and gently placing her on there. Emma watched him as he opened drawers, getting out a pencil and then some paper. Emma joked again, “I don’t know how you know where everything is in a home this big.”

Hidgens gave her another smile, passing a confused looking Emma the notepad and writing utensils. “Emma can you please do something that might be difficult but that will make things a lot easier for us? Can you write down, or even draw, some of the worse things your parents have done?”

Straight after speaking Hidgens knelt on the floor in front of her, and he took her hands in his, looking deep into her brown eyes. “I know this is hard but I need to know so I can help you, so please try and think real hard and be brave. I promise it’s okay to say everything. You can tell me anything.” He felt like he was starting to repeat himself a little but Emma seemed to be getting the message. Even though she didn’t verbally agree, she started writing straight away and Hidgens breathed a sigh of relief. He picked up his phone.

Emma stared wide eyed as Hidgens grabbed it, and whined as he started to walk towards the door. Of course, Hidgens wasn’t going to leave her alone without explaining first. He placed his hand gently on her shoulder, careful of touch, paranoid he may touch a place that was hurt. “I’m just going to get you something warmer to wear as I call my, erm, my friend.” Hidgens cleared his throat. “He’ll be able to help us.”

Hidgens explained everything to Garrett over the phone. Well, when his first sentence started with “Emma’s at my house-“ Garrett flipped a little. But Hidgens quickly calmed him and told him everything that had gone on. Including that Emma had admitted to being abused, just not in so many words, and that he had the physical proof with Emma writing her testimony of sorts down. And once everything was explained to Garrett Hidgens was glad he could breathe to let an expert plan some important details out.

Goldstein was just collecting all the documents he needed and then he was driving up, with his wife and little Gary, who would look after Emma as Hidgens and him went to ‘talk’ to Emma’s parents.

He grabbed a massive throwover that cocooned his own body and tucked it under his arm as he listened. Hidgens relaised he didn’t have any children’s clothes, obviously, so he’d have to get some in the morning, this would have to do for now. At least he had the spare bedroom set up for Emma. He could let her rest once this night was finally over.

So, ending the call so as not to let Emma hear things she had to fret about, he could finally return to her, throwover in hand. Except she was not in his study where he left her. There were notes scribbled in a child’s handwriting that Hidgens couldn’t bear to look at right now, but no Emma in sight. He started to irrationally panic. 

Hidgens dropped the fabric and dramatically ran out the room. “Emma?!” He called out into the empty entrance. What he wasn’t expecting was for Emma to appear, popping her head out from the balcony above the main staircase. “Oh there you are!” She said, rolling her eyes at herself. Hidgens could hardly breathe as she ran downstairs.

“Oh Emma dear.” He exhaled as she ran in front of him. He ran his thumb over hair, he wouldn’t tell her she frightened him.

“I went to find you because I wanted you but his house is huge!” Emma told him, in slight awe over Hidgens home but still quite numb sounding, due to the events tonight.

Hidgens nodded, his thumbs twiddling on her scalp with nervous energy that hadn’t depleted. “Why did you want me?”

Emma answered that question with a massive hug. Holding onto Hidgens legs, not like she was scared she’d be forcibly ripped away, but dotingly.

Ah. She didn’t want him as in want him for something, like directions to the bathroom. She _needed_ him.

Hidgens patted her upper back very gently, aware she’d mentioned her lower back hurting before. Then he saw she’d gotten herself warmer by throwing on one of his turtlenecks she seemed to have found. It was a similar colour to her eyes and it fit her like a dress, the sleeves she tried to roll up kept falling down and she looked absolutely adorable in it. He shook his head to get back to business. “Emma dear I’ve got some friends coming over.” He let her know, just so she didn’t get too scared when the doorbell rung, like her parents had come looking for her.

Emma unwrapped her arms from around Hidgens and looked up at him. “The friend who‘s gonna help you be my dad for real?”

Hidgens heart swelled once more but he managed to answer with a choked “Yes dear.”

Hidgens hated waiting for Goldstein. He had told Henry not to take care of any injuries that weren’t life threatening before he got there and could take some pictures. Hidgens felt very uncomfortable doing that but Garrett was very convincing, plus he’d been making sure to get Emma to tell him if anything hurt too much and he’d abandon Garretts warnings, to help her. But Garrett was there as soon as he’d promised and Hidgens jumped up when the bell rang.

He waited for Emma, holding out his hand and she took it and followed. He’d quickly realised she did not want to be left alone without him. She was wearing Hidgens grey scarf as she walked around too, even though he’d turned the heating on now, as she kept tripping on the throwover. 

As soon as Hidgens opened the door Emma took to hiding right behind him, gripping onto his trouser leg tight in her small fists. She watched nervously as Hidgens and this man exchanged greetings, then she looked out to the two other people outside of Hidgens’ house. There was a woman, and another kid. When the boy peered his head to get a look at Emma she flinched and moved to hide again.

“She’s not usually shy.” Hidgens told Goldstein a little awkwardly. Everyone now turned their heads to try and look at the little girl.

“Emma?” Hidgens cooed, feeling her readjust her grip behind him. He kept his voice soft. “Can you say hi to my friend Mr. Goldstein please? He’s the one who’s going to help us.” Hidgens knew it was important Emma talked to Garrett.

Hidgens watched as Emma poked half her face out from behind his leg, her big eyes peering out and staring at his lawyer with an emotion he couldn’t quite place his finger on. Garrett gave Emma a smile but she didn’t react at all. When he looked up to Hidgens for support Hidgens gave him a nod, so Garrett tried more.

“Why hiya there Em-“

She quickly stuffed her face back into Hidgens legs as soon as Garrett started talking to her.

Garrett looked to Hidgens awkwardly, then back to his wife, and finally at his son, Gary, who’d never acted like this, so he really was unsure what was the best way to connect with Emma.

Emma breathed in the material of Hidgens trouser leg, it smelt like him and he was safe. She didn’t want these other people here right now she didn’t know if they were safe.

Hidgens tried something then. He slowly turned around, so Emma had time to unclench her fists from around him and he crouched down next to her. Emma ducked her head as soon as she realised the strangers could properly see her now. But she was quickly distracted by Hidgens kind but pleading face beneath her.

“Emma do you trust me?”

She’d been asked this a lot lately, and her answer never changed. “I always do.” She told him meekly. She liked that he smiled, and she bit her lip from not saying hi like he wanted. But he didn’t yell at her for it. He wasn’t even mad.

“Well then you can trust Garrett and his family. They’re all very nice people and they just want to help you, okay.”

“Help us?” Emma asked instead, loud enough so the others could hear. She wanted to stay with Hidgens she didn’t want to be sent anywhere else. She breathed out when Hidgens agreed.

Hidgens stayed crouched as he wasn’t done talking to Emma, but swivelled his head to follow her line of sight as she finally looked up to Garrett. “Hi.” She finally said, but she didn’t look him in the eyes. 

Saying hello she could deal with. What she didn’t want to deal with was what Hidgens said next.

He placed his hands on Emma’s shoulders, still at height to her. His thumb stroked just under her cheekbone featherlight where a shiner was growing, he made sure not to touch the mark though. “Emma, now I know this might be hard, but Mr. Goldstein would like to take some pictures of you, and maybe even talk to you for a bit. Can you do that for me?” He didn’t want to ask anything of Emma that would make her uncomfortable but he knew this was important. He didn’t mention the photos were to be specifically of her injuries but he just needed to get this done so he could take care of her quicker. 

Emma wanted to say no. But she knew it was important. He wanted her to do it so even if strangers were a bit overwhelming right now she’d do it for Hidgens. But she’d only do it on one condition, one that made her brave enough. “Okay. But only if you stay with me!”

Hidgens nodded after seeing the frightened look in her eyes. He was hoping to be able to gather any medical supplies and talk to Garrett’s wife about some important details they’d discussed over the phone. But this was fine, he was happy to stay with Emma. A small price to pay for her comfort. “Okay Emma. You know how proud I am of you?”

Emma blushed, taking up Hidgens hand and burying her face in it. He told her anyway. “Emma I’m so proud.”

As Garrett took the photos Hidgens flinched. “This just feels... wrong.” He explained his worries to him. Garrett patted Hidgens’ shoulder, he could tell he really cared about the kid. “What do you think that police do in these types of investigations? I know it seems bad, or weird, but I’ve had a wife covered in her murdered husbands blood being forced to stand there, dripping in it, as the police photograph her. It’s normal for cases like this, you get desensitised I guess.”

With a horrified look to Emma who’d taken all of those words in Hidgens grumbled “Yeah I guess you do.”

Henry moved on to Garrett’s wife, who’d found all the band aids and ice packs Hidgens had asked for. Now he had one more thing to discuss with her. 

Hidgens was busy explaining how he had another spare room set up for Gary if their son got tired when he heard Emma shouting.

“No!”

“Emma I’m sorry sweetpea, but can you please take off the jumper and raise your arm?”

Looking over, Hidgens saw Emma cradling her arm protectively, her head burrowing into his turtleneck like a turtle, a mad look on her face and Garretts arm raised, as if he’d tried to move Emma’s arm himself. “Hey hey! Just don’t touch her okay, she’s still probably sore and... well you know, you are a stranger.” Hidgens had to try and get less angry as he spoke more.

Then he turned to Emma, who’s mad expression completely dropped when she looked to him. He smiled, cooing. “Emma darling, can you please do as Garrett says, he promises not to touch you again, he forgot and he’s sorry.” Hidgens eyed Garrett up to tell him not to refute that. 

Emma gave one last look to Garrett before throwing off the turtleneck and raising her arm. Garrett stood with his camera, trying to crouch underneath Emma’s arm. Hidgens was supposed to keep talking about the spare bedroom but he was caught up in watching Garrett squirm about on the floor. Eventually Garrett sighed heavily. “Look the lighting’s terrible down here, her shadows blocking off the finger print bruises. I need to turn her arm just a little to capture them properly.”

Hidgens could tell Garrett was tired and frustrated, but trying to stay very nice in front of Emma. And he could easily see Emma also losing her patience. So he tried to compromise. “Emma darling, is it okay if _I_ move your arm just slightly? I-“

“Of course Hidgens.”

He was about to promise not to touch the marks, that it wouldn’t hurt. But it seemed Emma already had complete trust in him. That or she really wanted to spite Goldstein. So Hidgens carefully found where her arm wasn’t bruised and twisted her skin just slightly so Garrett could take a clear picture of it.

Once photographing was over, Hidgens rushed into over protective parent mode. The ice pack was straight on Emma’s wrist. He was looking to deal with any cuts or scrapes that looked like they’d reopen and was applying bandaids where they didn’t really need to be, Emma could have potentially looked like a mummy if it wasn’t for Garrett’s wife trying to calm Hidgens so.

There was another area Emma had mentioned really hurting from tonight that Hidgens hadn’t seen yet. Very softly he asked her. “Emma, would it be alright if you lifted the back of your shirt, so I could see your back? There’s where you said the bedframe hit you right?” He tried very carefully with his wording. 

Tentatively, not from fear but from pain, Emma’s fingers went to the back of her shirt and lifted it to show where she’d been hurt. Hidgens was glad Emma couldn’t see his face just then because a grimace was definitely obvious there for a fleeting reflexive moment. There was a huge red line going all across her back that looked like it was starting to swell. He presumed she‘d bruised a muscle too as he looked further into it, but he got distracted by the clicking above him. Looking up he saw Garrett had swooped in for a shot of something he hadn’t seen before and Hidgens just glared at him. Garrett backed off a little.

Hidgens passed the ice pack to Garrett’s wife, who Emma let apply aid to her back after much convincing from Hidgens that he couldn’t do it himself, her wrist needed rest and that she was a very nice lady who was just trying to help. Even if Emma was skeptical and not very trusting at the moment, she took Hidgens word as gospel. He was the smartest person she knew.

This just worried Hidgens more once Garrett had explained their plan and Hidgens knew he had to leave Emma for a few hours.

He’d sorted everything with Mrs. Goldstein and she’d explained to her son, now was Hidgens turn to explain to Emma.

“Emma dear would you come here for a moment please?” He asked politely.

Even though Emma still wasn’t feeling great she ran over to Hidgens from where she’d been talking to Garrett, happy to be called and also that he didn’t say it like it was an order. She went straight for Hidgens and he crouched, hugging her very lightly, carful of her lower back, conversely Emma hugged back as tight as she possibly could. And when Hidgens pulled back he noticed something that made it even harder to leave. For the first time in days, Emma was actually smiling.

Hidgens chuckled softly as she placed her small hand on his cheek, patting him, or structuring his face, maybe rubbing him to soothe him, feeling if he was real- he had no idea but it was treasurable. And most importantly she was smiling.

“What’s all this for?” He laughed, making her know he didn’t need her to stop, he wasn’t questioning in an angry way. Emma got that message clear and just shrugged, not willing or unable to answer.

Hidgens sighed, taking her hand from his cheek and snatching up her other one, holding them gently as he told her. “Emma don’t panic, but I’m going to have to go for a little while.”

Of course, Emma panicked.

“What? No!” She threw herself at Hidgens, enough he stumbled in his crouched position and flinging his hands back, fell on the floor. Emma kept pushing forward, squirming till she was on Hidgens legs, grasping his face less softly now. “Why? Please don’t go Hidgens! I’ll be good! How long?? I want to stay with you!”

“Em-“

“Don’t leave me please!” Emma stared at him with fear and rejection in her eyes, crying again now and Hidgens felt absolutely terrible. He hadn’t wanted to make her cry! But nothing he could say would be as quick as her ingrained fears that emerged. He grasped her close and rocked her in his lap, hushing her cries as she sobbed into his cheek, her arms nearly strangling him with the fear he’d abandon her. 

Hidgens looked up to the Goldsteins who looked back with a mixture of sympathy for the two of them and surprise. Quickly though Hidgens turned his attention back to the shaking with sobs Emma. “Emma ssh ssh sweetheart I promise I’m not leaving for long.” But he could tell she couldn’t hear him over her sobs and how softly he was trying to convince her. He leaned into her ear, not hard when she was nuzzling her whole face into his now wet cheek. He tucked her hair back and spoke soft whispers to her, tiny little mumbles that calmed her enough until she was just silently shaking, still holding onto him for dear life.

“Emma Mr. Goldstein and I are leaving for no more than a few hours, the only reason I’m going without you is because we’re doing important work so I can stay with you for the rest of your life. Okay? Otherwise I’d never leave you like this.” He noticed Emma becoming stiller in his arms. Her breaths were quite ragged but it was enough that when he smoothed his hand down her back it didn’t feel like it was vibrating. “Mrs. Goldstein and her son are gonna stay with you until I come back. They’re not gonna let anything happen to you and I’ll be back before you know it. I promise you Emma.” That last sentence was the only time he’d sounded firm in his little speech. He was absolutely determined not to let her down.

He watched with relief as Emma managed to untuck her head from his body. But she only looked to his feet. He gave her his hand to hold and she played with his fingers, to calm herself. “People always promise things.” She mumbled it so quietly only Hidgens could hear her, and that was just barely.

“Have I ever broken a promise to you?” He asked her.

Emma looked to him now, searching his eyes as if to jog her memory. And she found herself shaking her head. Emma let out a big sigh, gulping in some air because she could finally breathe now. She looked up to Mrs. Goldstein who waved back with a smile. She didn’t wave like her and Hidgens did. Emma turned her head back to Hidgens then, running her index finger between all of his to trace his big hand. “And you’ll be back soon?” She asked, giving in.

Hidgens nodded, moving his hand so his fingers interlocked with Emma’s, and he gave it a squeeze. “I’ll rush back and be as quick as I humanly can be.”

Emma nodded, apapeased and knowing there was no alternative. The sooner she let Hidgens go the sooner he’d be able to get back to her. And as well, if she was a good girl and let him do his work, he’d still want to come back her, he’d go out there to do his adult stuff to let them live together and wouldn’t just run off. Emma kissed the back of Hidgens hand very lightly, to show how much she loved him. Before telling him very bossily “I want you to be back before morning mister.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so tired I had no idea what to name this chapter lmao but there’ll be a theme of ‘adulting’ and Emma being the child in several chapter so a theme. Not. A big theme but yeah it’s there
> 
> I hope you all liked this chapter, please please tell me your thought and I really appreciate all the comments I’ve been getting it’s been really motivating me and making me so happy so thank you 💕


	10. Real Parent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So after last chapter when Hidgens left Emma in the care of the rest of the Goldstein family, he and the lawyer finally confront Emma’s parents, to try and get them to hand over their daughter

“Scared?” Garrett asked, his finger lingering over the doorbell to the Perkins household.

Hidgens shook his head, banging his fist on the door as menacingly as he could. The doorbell didn’t work. “Not scared, angry.”

Garretts eyes widened at Hidgens actions, and the tone to his voice that he’d never heard before. As he heard the heavy stomping coming towards the door he hissed to Hidgens. “Look, just let me do the talking, keep it professional.”

Hidgens was about to respond but he couldn’t as the door swung open. And as soon as it did Emma’s fathers eyes went straight to him.

“You!”

The next thing Hidgens knew he was being pinned against the wall on the inside of the house, rough fists against his chest as he was slammed once against it. 

“I know who you are!” The man screamed right into Hidgen face and he couldn’t help but think about poor Emma.

“Yes and so do we Mr. Perkins!”

Hidgens felt the shaking stop and turned towards Goldstein, who’d invited himself in and shut the door.

“Now if you’d kindly unhand my client before I have to call the authorities. We all know that’s not what you want.”

Hidgens head swivelled to Emma’s father and he had an actual fearful look in his eyes. And then Hidgens felt the grip of his jumper disperse from him. Sometimes Hidgens forgot just how great a lawyer Goldstein was. He would definitely have thrown a punch if that beast had continued assaulting him and that would have lead them nowhere.

“Who the hell are you? His lawyer or something?” He sounded like he wanted to laugh at the end of the sentence but when Garrett told him very formally “Correct sir.” He quickly shut up. 

Hidgens watched as the mans eyes went from confused to fearful to angry. “Yeah well! I think you should be mine rather than his! You know he’s been hanging out with my daughter?!”

“Yes sir, we’re actually here to talk about the welfare of young Emma.”

That’s when Emma’s mother came out through the living room. “What the hell’s this racket?!” She asked her husband, before turning to the two men in her hallway. She looked right at them but didn’t speak to them, instead asking her husband clearly. “What do they want?”

“We’re here to discuss you handing over legal guardianship of your youngest daughter Emma, over to a much better suited guardian. This man.”

All eyes flew to Hidgens but he didn’t wobble. He stood straight and told Emma’s _biological_ parents that he was right.

Her parents started laughing, yelling, telling them this was stupid. Hidgens was half afraid they were going to slam the door on their faces before they could even get to discussing matters. Goldstein was on the case though.

Everyone watched entranced as Garrett took out a huge file from his briefcase. It had “PERKINS CASE” in big bold letters on the front and it made her fathers eyes bigger, almost as if they were going to pop out of his skull, before he snatched it out of the lawyers hands. 

“Now I have copies of all these files in duplicate so don’t bother wrecking them. In fact, you may want to keep them, so you can look them over whenever you feel like... ‘disagreeing’ with us.” Goldstein said as Emma’s father flicked through all the pages. Hidgens felt more relieved as he saw a cold sweat grow on the mans forehead. He got given a copy of this file on the dirve over here and had had a browse through it himself. Many official and unofficial reports of drug and alcohol abuse, amongst many other petty crimes. Almost voyeuristic pictures taken of the family during some shady business, including a clear photo of a drug deal both parents were there for. Goldstein also had a few Polaroid’s of Emma’s injuries stuck in the back pocket of the folder, a last minute addition just to show the parents they knew what they had been doing to their daughter.

Goldstein seemed satisfied when the mother snatched the file off her husband, who looked deathly pale. Then he cleared his throat to make sure both parties were listening. “You’ll both go to jail for a very very long time with this information... However, if you co operate this can all go much easier for everyone involved.”

The fathers head shot up at that however. It was clear he’d be willing to do near anything to avoid the serious jail time he knew he’d get, especially with a fancy lawyer going against him. 

Hidgens could help but bring emotions back into this. He wanted to give them their final pushes into making the right decision. “You don’t even want her...” He told them and it broke his heart to say it. But it was true. The father glared daggers at Hidgens, the mother had a horror stricken look as she read and re-read the pages. Hidgens continued. “You don’t respect her, you don’t _love_ her. Why not do the one good thing you’ll have ever done for her and let her live with someone who does love her, like their own?”

That’s when Emma’s mom seemed to realise those two strangers had a real chance. She started screaming. Out of nowhere. She went completely nuts, crying, screeching. She teared at her husbands shirt, not that he seemed to care, so she moved on to the lawyer. 

It wasn’t the first time Goldstein had had a woman clawing into his chest like this, bawling her eyes out with crocodile tears and howling ferally. He grabbed her arms firmly but not harshly. “Come on ma’am. Don’t make a big scene, don’t make things worse for yourself.”

She screamed in his face again, this one definitely borne out of rage. Garrett looked up to Hidgens with a grimace. “I’m going to sit her down in a room for a moment.” He explained and Hidgens gave one firm nod back. They needed to get straight to business. 

Emma’s mom couldn’t get out of Garrett’s arms. But she still screamed down the hallway, something that sent a shiver down Hidgens spine. “Emma! Emma come tell them you want to stay!” There was a scary tone in her voice that Hidgens couldn’t tell if was from ferocity or desperation, maybe a bit of both?

Hidgens heard Garrett’s voice down the corridor. “Emma has been taken away already for her own safety ma’am.” Then before he could hear the response the door slammed shut. 

Now it was just him, and Emma’s father.

The two men, trying to claim ownership over the paternal role in Emma’s life, sized up. Not getting ready for a fight, but standing tall, shoulders back, chest broad. Just to show off that they had power.

Hidgens watched as the man grunted, crossing his arms, seeming to know he was likely to be outsmarted Hidgens hoped, because that meant he was closer to giving up. His next sentence secured that thought with Hidgens, as he asked “What do we get out of this?”

Hidgens sighed, crossing his own arms but in a more relaxed gesture. He tried to stoop down to his level to make this easier and quicker for Emma. “In a way you’d like, I suppose she’d be ‘taken off your hands’.”

Hidgens heard the door close and Garrett’s footsteps follow. That’s when Emma’s father leaned his face closer, but Hidgens didn’t back down. And luckily, he just wanted to talk quieter. 

“You know, a lot of babies when they’re put into some less... structured adoptions... well people pay top dollar for a kid.”

Hidgens jaw was starting to drop open. He couldn’t be suggesting... what he thought he was suggesting, could he?

“You’re getting one we’ve already cleaned, taught to speak, housetrained, all that shit, if I didn’t want her I could have profited a long time ago. So what’s your offer?”

Hidgens thought the ‘housetraining’ comment was the worst thing he’d say in that sentence. He was wrong. Garrett came back into the room at this moment, his jaw as slack as Hidgens. He’d clearly heard everything.

“Are you trying to sell your daughter?” Hidgens asked astounded.

Even Garrett couldn’t hold back his disgust. “You deserve to have her taken away from you, you sick piece of shit.”

“That’s bias! You can’t say that shit to me. I could tell people you threatened us!”

“I’m a lawyer. And a jury or judge takes one look at you never mind this pile of evidence... no one will believe you.”

“She’s not a bidding price!” Hidgens excalimed, shutting both of them up. Now he stuck his finger right in that disgusting mans face. “Emma is a person! Just because she’s small and inexperienced doesn’t mean she isn’t a real human being. A beautiful, strong, smart little girl who deserves so much more than the likes of you.”

Her mother piped up. “Do we get to keep Jane?”

No one had heard her leaving the bedroom. Her eyes were stained with tears and unfocused. Her hands shaking wildly. 

Hidgens was disgusted but Garrett, focused on the task at hand, told them all business like. ”Yes, unless we hear you’ve abused her too. This is just for your youngest.”

“Abuse...” Her dad spat with laughter, trying to keep under his breath. Garrett placed a warning hand on Hidgens arm, afraid he was going to attack the man. Hidgens did have slightly more composure than that. But he’d be yelling a storm of how terrible they were as parents right now if it wasn’t for the fact now they were both talking, because they were actually considering it.

There were whispers with both couples for nearly an hour straight. Hidgens was asking Garrett about how long it would take after their signatures to make it official. Apparently Garrett had some favours in place but needed to take it to court for a stamp, something only he and the judge had to do. That’s when a gruff “Hey.” Took them both out of their conversation. Hidgens raised one eyebrow, allowing him to speak. No matter how quickly those people gave Hidgens what he needed he would not be gracious towards them.

The father huffed, not looking to either man but at the floor, his wife staring at both the men yet somehow not looking and taking in what she was seeing. “So, I know you got all uppity about it before. But would you actually be willing to pay to...” he cleared his hoarse throat. “Make things go smoother?”

“Yes!” Hidgens and Garrett both answered immediately. Money was not an issue for Hidgens. He’d give his entire inheritance to keep her safe. Something Garrett knew too. But he would never tell Emma how this went down, even when she was older.

“We can get it for your medicine.” Hidgens and Garrett heard from a slightly raised whisper to the man’s wife. They looked to each other knowingly. From those files they knew what ‘medcine’ they were talking about.

Hidgens was quite surprised that only after a few hours of deliberation Emma’s father seemed to be sold. Her mother on the other hand seemed to be having a tougher time. 

“You don’t wanna leave Jane all alone while we go to jail do you?!” Her husband yelled.

Everyone had decided to sit down after some time. Garrett was busy getting out all the documents for her biological parents to sign which left Hidgens head bouncing like he was watching a tennis match as he watched those people who raised his Emma argue. 

Then, possibly the best and worst sentence Hidgens had heard from Emma’s mother. “Can I buy a present for Jane with the money?”

Best because it meant she was close to giving in. The worst being obvious. 

Her mother looked up the stairs and Hidgens realised Jane was of course, probably sleeping in the house right now. He sighed. Before he left he had to discuss a time where Emma could collect her things and say goodbye.

“With the money we save not spending on that little-“ 

Hidgens watched as Mr. Perkins looked up to him as if suddenly remembering he was there. He almost dared him to continue, with his glare. The man just lowered his head to whisper back to his wife.

Hidgens had to be helped to the car by Garrett as he left the house with the signed papers. 

“We still need to get the judges seal.” Goldstein reminded Hidgens, opening the car door and sort of... gently pushing him into his seat. “I’ll give you some paperwork for you to do tonight and we need to have a few talks but trust me, this is gonna be easy. We’re on the path Henry!”

Of course, Hidgens wanted justice for all the atrocious things they’d done and said to Emma. But it would be a long and messy process, which only would make it harder for Emma. So this was the best way.

On the drive back Garrett stopped the car on some street which Hidgens didn’t recognise on their route there. But before he could ask what they were doing there and why they were stopping Garrett stepped one foot out of the car. Turning his head towards Hidgens he said. “I just need to stop off at home, I’ll be just a few minutes.”

Hidgens wanted to argue but they were already there, it was a little late now. He just rolled his eyes. “Okay, but hurry up will you?” He said it with a tired and pleading look in his eyes so Garett knew he wasn’t having a go at him, not after all that amazing work back there. “I promsied Emma I’d be back as soon as possible.”

Garrett just clicked his tongue at him with a wink before shutting the door, leaving Hidgens with nothing to do but go over the papers again, stating that both of Emma’s biological parents agreed to hand guardianship over to him once all the procedures involved were accounted for. He could hardly believe it. He looked at their signatures carefully for a fake name or something but no, he felt down the paper and it was solid. All of this was real and happening. And he couldn’t be more happy.

Moments later Garrett ran back to his car, with a massive bin bag in his hands, looking like it was going to burst. Hidgens did not leave Emma alone for minutes linber just so Goldstein could drop his trash off at the dump. But when the door opened and he chucked the bag into the backseat it didn’t smell of rubbish. In fact, it didn’t smell of anything. But before Hidgens could ask Garrett beat him to the chase again.

“Clothes.” Was all he said. And due to Hidgens surprised face he elaborated. “For young Emma.”

Hidgens literally put his hand to his heart. He looked back to the massive bag and then back to who he now considered a friend. 

Garrett just shrugged, like it wasn’t something he needed praise over. “Well Gary’s a bit older and quiet a bit taller, these don’t fit anymore and we were gonna give them to the charity shop. So I figured, you could give them to the kid before you go shopping.” He explained. Then he got this sad look on his face, leaning into Hidgens as if he was about to tell a secret. He sighed long and hard before he stated “The kid didn’t even have any shoes Henry.”

Hidgens was just shocked. This was something he really needed yet hadn’t even asked for. And here was his lawyer, who, along with his family, had already done so much for them, now helping him and Emma out with even the less important things. Hidgens could almost feel hsimelf choking up, after such an eventful and emotional night. “Wow, thank you. Really, Garrett.”

With a wave of his hand as if to signal ‘forget about it’ Goldstein turned the ignition and they set off again.

When Hidgens unlocked the door to his house, dumping the bag of clothes on the floor his first instinct was to call out Emma’s name. Something he’d never done, with any name, in his home before.

And Emma came running.

“Hidgens!” She screamed, and Hidgens crouched with his arms open, prepared for the hug. Or so he thought. As Emma lunged herself into his arms Hidgens was bowled over onto the floor. Emma just clambered in top of him to make sure she could still hug him close. 

“Where’s Gary?” Garrett asked his wife, watching the scene with affection.

“Oh he’s asleep upstairs. Emma wanted to wait up for you though.” And both Goldsteins smiled at Hidgens.

Emma patted Hidgens cheek affectionately, smiling and he stood her up, before standing up himself. 

Garrett fake whispered “We’ll just go get our son.” And the couple left Emma and Hidgens to it.

Hidgens smiled down to Emma, holding her good hand in his. “How’s your wrist doing Emma darling?” He caught up. Emma hummed happily. “Better now you’re back.”

Hidgens chuckled. “Is that so?”

Emma raised her arms, tilting her head with a patient smile and a twinkle in her eyes Hidgens hadn’t seen before. That made him even more energetic as he swept her up, grunting as he bounced her in the air just a few inches out of his arms, which made her squeal delightedly, before holding her on his hip. Emma nuzzled herself into Hidgens arm, her eyes settled on his face just in a happy daze.

Explaining to Emma, he told her “Now Emma, you’re still living with me as we get all this sorted, as Garrett and I have agreed it’s not-“ Hidgens had to stop hsimelf from saying ‘safe’ “-_practical_ to have you stay with your family right now.”

Emma’s eyes somehow seemed to get even bigger and brighter. “So that means I get to stay with you before it’s for real, and then when it is for real I stay with you forever?” She tried to comprehend. 

Hidgens smiled down at her, flicking his thumb on her chin supportively. “That’s right Emma.”

Hidgens only put Emma down when he went to shake Garrett’s hand goodbye. He watched Emma stare into the ground but say a short goodbye to Garrett’s family, so he snuck in the chance to ask a few final questions. 

“Yes, yes Henry don’t worry. You get that paperwork all finished and I’ll take care of everything else.” He told him, with a firm nod and smile. 

Hidgens couldn’t help himself. He threw Goldstein into a hug, a few tears threatening the edge of his eyelids, but he managed to compose himself in case Emma saw. “Thank you so much. This means a lot, we won’t forget what you’re doing for us.” Hidgens quickly pulled himself back, straightening himself out.

Garrett gave a red faced smile. “Aw don’t thank me yet Hidgens! I haven’t even done it all for ya so far.”

Once the Goldstein family had left Hidgens felt his file shifting in his arms. Looking down he saw Emma gripping at the corner lightly to try and read the front of if. Even though it only had her last name on the front, Hidgens held the file close to his chest and patted it securely. “Adult business dearest Emma, nothing to concern yourself about. I’ll take care of everything.”

“What is it?” She asked inquisitively. Hidgens tried to explain it to her in simple terms, and ones that wouldn’t possibly upset her. 

Emma nodded along, following Hidgens as he walked to place his papers in his study, when her mouth flew into an ‘o’ shape. “Ohhhh. Like the papers Matilda uses with Miss Honey?”

Hidgens breathed a small laugh, she was much better at explaining and interpreting than he was at trying to translate. He quite liked that comparison. “Yes dear, do you like to read?” He asked, opening the door. 

Emma sat herself back down on the couch. “I liked that book. Maybe one day if I try hard I’ll have superpowers.” She then covered her hand and giggled into it, like she’d just said something naughty.

Hidgens smiled fondly back at her before turning his head to his desk properly. That’s when he noticed the clock above it. His eyes nearly popped out of his skull and he checked his watch just to make sure it was correct. First night at parenting and he definitely didn’t have bedtime down as a winner. He exclaimed “Good God Emma I didn’t even realise how late it was! Aren’t you tired?”

“Not really...” Emma played with the frayed material at the edge of the couch, suddenly focusing on it like it required all her attention. “I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

Hidgens was very glad he’d had his best spare room set up for a while now. So he walked over to Emma. “How about I tuck you in then, is that something you would like Emma?”

Getting into a routine of sorts now, Emma opened her arms wide and he lifted her into his arms quick. Once she was in Hidgens grasp, she was happily nuzzling her nose against his and just slightly, he nuzzled back. 

“Wow my bedroom!” Emma gasped in awe as they entered. Hidgens flicked the light on and apologised for it being so bland. “We can go buy some decorations, cool bedsheets-“ he’d remembered her talking in length about how ‘cool’ her bedsheets were in her old house “-paint or wallpaper, furniture, toys! Whatever you’d like Emma.”

Hidgens plopped her down on the mattress and this had definitely been the easiest time she’d let go of him. She climbed into the big bed, once under the covers rustling the thick sheets giddily. Wriggling about to find the best spot, sniffing the sheets in what was supposed to be a subtle comforting way. And she couldn’t stop these little excited noises leaving her whenever she spotted something new- or Hidgens.

Hidgens laughed softly along with her, placing a hand lightly on top of her covers as she squirmed about, like a little excited dance but lying down. “You have to settle down if you want to sleep.” He reminded her in a cooing voice, before tucking her in. He’d never done that before so he hoped he was doing it right for her, bringing the covers up to her shoulders, tucking them close to her tiny body, making sure she was warm and safe. He didn’t want her falling out the bed!

“I can’t sleep yet Hidgens! I’m too excited.” She whispered it to him before squealing again. Her hands were thrown over her face to cover just how happy she was, all that energy bursting out in little movements or squeaks.

Hidgens had to try and bottle his own excitement from her contagious actions. He had so much paperwork tonight and the sooner he did it the sooner he and Emma could move on. “Well how do you usually get to sleep dear?” He asked her. This type of information would be very useful for the rest of their future.

“I dunno.”

He nodded at her smilple answer. “Would you like a story?”

He wasn’t expecting Emma’s smile to drop like that. For a moment he thought he’d _upset_ her. Only to hear her quiet voice tell him “I thought that only happened in movies...”

Hidgens tried to hide how sad that sentence made him feel. So with a quick smile to her he got up and went to the bookcase in the room. Scouting around he didn’t find many children’s tales he thought she’d like. So he settled on Oliver Twist.

Grabbing the book he sat down on the floor cross legged, about to open the pages when Emma called him. 

“Hidgens?”

“Oh! Yes Emma dear?”

She patted her bed, looking sadly at him. Like she was upset he wouldn’t join and sit with her.

Hidgens hadn’t even thought about the possibility she’d want him up there with her. But then he remembered that reading children stories wasn’t always about the tales or even the morals behind them. It was about bonding.

So Hidgens sat on Emma’s bed, just below where her feet lay covered by the thick quilt and all tucked in so she didn’t flail as much. And only minutes later, after her long, long day, Emma’s eyes started to flutter closed. Hidgens kept reading for about half an hour, just until he heard the light whistling come from Emma, and knew she was fast asleep.

He stuck his thumb between the pages, marking where he left off. Then he leant over the bed, before pressing a small kiss to the top of Emma’s head, tucking the covers up to her shoulders once again. “Goodnight my love.”

Hidgens got up, putting the book away very quietly so as not to wake her. And then he took his file out, placed it on the desk in her room, and started to work on the papers making Emma his daughter. Right were he could watch over her tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading and please please leave any and all comments as they really help me! Hope you liked this chapter 💕


	11. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Hidgens first morning with Emma, and there’s a few things he needs to think about and do now he’s an unofficial dad to a young child

It was their first morning together. Hidgens had managed to get a couple of hours rest, only when he struggled to read the paperwork anymore did he leave it for the next day. He’d packed it up, made sure Emma was alright and still sleeping soundly, before tiptoeing to his own bed to try and get some rest for the big day ahead of them.

When Hidgens woke he had this funny feeling in his stomach, like he was excited. It took only about half a second later to realise why. Quietly, so as not to wake Emma if she was still sleeping, Hidgens stepped down the corridor and very gently pushed open the spare bedroom door. Inside was Emma, still fast asleep under her covers. Hidgens watched the quilt rise and fall and counted her breaths to make sure everything was okay. He watched her turn over in bed and that’s when he decided she was absolutely fine, so he closed the door, smiling.

For about an hour, Hidgens busied himself in his study, keeping the door wide open, with paperwork. Reading and signing documents whilst trying to avoid catching a glimpse of those accounts of Emma’s abuse that poked out the file. He quickly snapped it shut when he heard footsteps outside his door though. Hidgens span in his chair and moments later Emma shuffled past his door, stopping when she caught sight of him. “There you are!”

Emma walked up to him with her eyes barely open, like she’d just woken up seconds ago and her first instinct was to find him. Hidgens stood up and gave her a brisk hug, pulling back to examine her face. There was slight swelling under her eye now that he presumed would only get worse throughout the day. He clicked his tongue before stroking through Emma’s hair, as she let out a big yawn. “Good morning Emma. Do you want some breakfast?”

Emma nodded but he was still convinced she was half asleep. So Hidgens walked extra slowly and took Emma’s hand as he lead her to the kitchen. He helped her up onto the stool and she’d started to open her eyes more. 

“What would you like dear? Anything you want!” He leant his elbows on the counter and smiled reassuringly at her. It had been a long time since he’d made food for somebody else.

Emma tilted her head to fall on her shoulders. “Anything?” She asked.

“Anything.”

Emma bit her lip before asking “Can I have waffles?” Her voice raised in pitch at the end, as if testing her limits. Hidgens just went straight into getting the ingredients. 

“What toppings would you like? Syrup, cream, bacon?” He wanted to treat her, plus she needed to gain some weight, he was quite worried about her bmi. 

“Can I have syrup... and bacon?” Emma asked, getting more confident now. She finally started to relax when Hidgens agreed. Emma needed to remind herself, this wasn’t home. Well... it was home now, but a new home. Hidgens was good. She drank the milk Hidgens had passed to her before asking “What are you having Hidgens?”

Hidgens smiled to himself as she asked that. She always liked to know what was going through his mind, like to get to know more about him. It was sweet. He turned back once the frying pan had started, with a smile to her. “I’m not sure, I’ve not had a breakfast like this in a while. I might have some bacon like you.” Normally it was oatmeal, eggs, occasionally nothing. Hidgens quite liked going all out like this, now he had someone important to take care of.

Emma ate up like the food would be taken off her if she wasn’t fast enough. Which was a stark contrast to when she was half way through and lulled her head back against her seat, her hands resting on her stomach and her eyes shutting. 

“What’s wrong Emma? Are you ill?!” Hidgens would never forgive himself if he undercooked that bacon on his first day!

“I can’t eat any more. Imma gonna explode...” Emma mumbled. Hidgens saved her grammar correction for a day when he wouldn’t be trying so hard for Emma’s approval. He gently set her plate aside, abandoning his own food now to join her. “So. What would you like to do today Emma?”

It wasn’t a school day. Even if it was, Hidgens didn’t think he’d have let her go in today. Emma just shrugged in response, looking around to find something to do. Hidgens rubbed his hands together. “Right, well to start off a day you should get clean and dressed!... Uhm...” Then Hidgens realised he hadn’t thought about that type of thing this morning. He’d be more than happy if he was needed, that’s what parents did, he just wanted her to be comfortable. She was very young. So he asked “Do you... do you need help with that?”

Emma just giggled. “Nope! I’m a big girl I can dress by myself. Not everyone in my class can, but I can!” She beamed, wanting to get Hidgens approval for being so mature. 

“And what about bath time dear?”

Emma lowered her head, ashamed. “I can’t wash my hair myself. Soap gets in my eyes and I hate it.”

Hidgens nodded. “Oh not a problem dear, that’s what parents are for right? Would you like help?” His voice cracked on the word ‘parents’ a little. He had actually looked up this question and discovered it might be too dangerous to leave her alone in water. 

Emma nodded eagerly, she hated the stinging in her eyes she got if her mom forgot about her in the tub as then she had to do it alone. All parents did this so it wasn’t a problem for Emma in the slightest. Nudity and puberty wasn’t even a thing Emma worried about at six years old.

Hidgens tried to touch her as little as possible. He let her wash herself, standing outside the door because he couldn’t focus on anything else when he was worried she would drown, checking in every few minutes or so. Then he got the flannel and placed it on Emma’s forehead, using a jug to make sure none of the shampoo got in her eyes at all, he remembered that happening to him when he was six years old and it felt like the end of the world.

Emma’s trust just skyrocketed with Hidgens then after it was all over with and not a drop had gotten into her eyes.

When that was done he quickly wrapped a towel he’d left on the radiator to keep warm around her and sent her off to her bedroom. “Right then, you have a bag in there from Mr. Goldstein, some clothes until we can go shopping, so go pick out what you like while I do the dishes. Then we can find something fun!” He smiled.

“What am I supposed to do about knickers?”

Hidgens smile stayed frozen on his face, but he was no longer so sure it should be there. He hadn’t thought about that.

“I can’t wear Gary’s underwear!” The sentence ended with a burst of laughter, Emma seemed to find it funny. A blessing for Hidgens. “Ah, well. You’ll have to make do with yesterday’s, maybe we should go shopping today.” He kept mumbling a mental list to himself, even as Emma yelled “Okay!” And ran off.

When Emma came back she was wearing a long sleeved blue shirt with a green stegosaurus. Some jeans and white socks. She was also holding Hidgens hairbrush out in his hands. He had no idea what else she was finding in his room. His eyes flicked from it to her as she just kept it held out to him. 

“M-My hairbrush?” He questioned. Was his hair that bad?

Emma placed it in his hands. Looking up at him she told him “I can’t brush my own hair. I can do other people’s but not mine. So I’m not that bad!”

Ah. Another thing Hidgens had forgotten about. He was beginning to kick himself. “Of course Emma dear, sorry. Do you want to come with me to the bathroom and hop up on the counter?”

Well, once they got there it was less Emma hopping up and more Hidgens helping her scarper until she was seated. Hidgens took the brush to her hair and started out with a front section. Every time Emma winced, Hidgens winced. And apologised profusely. “Oh I’m really sorry Emma! I’m not trying to pull!”

“It’s ok-“

“It’s just you’ve got one hell of a knot back here...”

“Don’t wo-“

“Not your fault though dear! I’m sorry I just haven’t done this before with such long hair.”

That’s how the next half an hour went. 

Probably a bit longer than needed for a six year olds hair.

“I’ll learn some nice patterns, plaits, buns, all the sort for you. Would you like that Emma dear?”

Emma smiled, pulling her fingers through her free hair. It hadn’t felt this good in a while. She nodded eagerly to Hidgens question. “Yeah! When my mommy was happy sometimes she’d play a game with me and Jane where we were in a hairdressers and she’d do loads of neat stuff with our hair! Like puts bows and flowers in it, she was really good with buns too. ...She wasn’t in that good a mood a lot though...”

Hidgens didn’t know how to respond to that just yet. He wasn’t sure if telling her how bad her mother really was would help her or not right now. He just wanted her to be happy, it was truly the least this incredible child deserved.

When Hidgens tried leaving the house with Emma an hour later, she put up a bit of a fight. 

“No No Hidgens! You can go on your own, I’ll be okay here! I won’t break anything I promise!” Emma tried.

“Emma I’m not, not leaving you here because I’m scared you’ll do something. I’m worried for you, you’re too young to be left alone any more.” He presumed if she was allowed to walk home alone being home alone wouldn’t exactly be new to Emma. Didn’t mean it wasn’t scary. It was especially scary for Hidgens too.

But Emma pulled back her hand when Hidgens offered his own to coax her. “No Hidgens, I don’t wanna go out today!” She pleaded.

Hidgens put Gary’s/Emma’s trainers down and put his finger to his lip. Something was definitely going on inside her head. He just wanted to help her heal.

“Emma...” He took a seat on the bottom of the stairs next to Emma. When she didn’t look up to him he nudged her knee playfully with his leg. Then Emma leant her head against his chest. 

Well at least he knew she wasn’t upset at him. 

Emma mumbled something into his sweater but it was so muffled all he could hear was her groans and an occasional vowel sound. He tucked her hair behind her ear, like he’d done all those times before, and Emma calmed almost immediately. She untucked her head, finally looking up at him. “I don’t wanna go outside Hidgens. What if mommy and daddy _find_ me?”

Oh. That was a blow. But at least Hidgens understood now. “Oh, oh, oh.” Hidgens cooed, opening his arms and allowing Emma that comfort. She wriggled onto his lap, to get closer to him. Hidgens ran his hands through her neat hair, telling her surely “Even if they did, they wouldn’t be allowed to take you, they already signed that paperwork.”

“That wouldn’t stop them”.

Hidgens hands dropped. She was so sure of that fact, no wonder she was terrified to leave the house. Emma picked up Hidgens hand and laid it back on her scalp, urging him to keep going.

“I would. I’d stop them Emma.” He peered his head down to get at eye level. “I wouldn’t let those people anywhere near you. Emma I promise if I see them we’ll run straight away.”

Hidgens didn’t want Emma to live in fear all her life, but he knew to start small. ”We’ll be very quick, just getting the essentials. It’s good to get back on the horse as soon as possible though.” He let her know.

Emma’s eyes widened. “You have a horse?!” She knew his house was big, but not this big!

“No...aha... Do you want one?”

“Hidgens!” Emma hit his chest, bursting into a fit of giggles. Hidgens knew he had to calm down, if something so little made him want to buy the girl a horse, when he didn’t even have a stable, he just knew he’d do anything for her. But she probably didn’t _need_ a horse. _Did she??_ Were they good therapy animals?!?

But as he was overthinking all that, Emma had brought her trainers up to Hidgens and held them with a timid smile. “Fine. Can you do my laces?”

Hidgens got straight on it. He’d make this work.

They’d gotten only the essentials, things Emma needed for the next few days before they could properly go out. Toothbrush, kids toothpaste, underwear, some of her favourite foods, and more. A booster seat was one of the big things. She was too young and too small to safely be in a car without one, and safety was Hidgens number one priority. Emma had gotten a bit emotional in the mothercare store when she saw the price, worrying Hidgens was gonna hate her for having to spend so much money. But a quick cuddle and reassurance that he was perfectly happy spending even a million dollars to keep her safe- and a happy meal and McFlurry from the drive through for lunch- and Emma was back on her feet.

Hidgens had been making a list with Emma of things she needed and wanted. Meals she liked. Clothes she liked from catalogues. If she liked a nightlight to sleep or complete darkness. It went on until Emma started getting really bored. As in sighing loudly and frequently, playing and pulling on Hidgens clothes or items around the room they were in. So Hidgens let her rest and then pick up the rest of the essentials to tomorrow. And once Emma nearly collapsed with relief he suggested she go find something she wanted to do while he set out the items she’d bought for her, all nice and neat.

When Hidgens came down he nearly shrieked when he saw Emma fiddling with the oven buttons. He grabbed Emma, holding a hand to her chest and her body to his legs, away from the oven. “Oh Emma dear, what are you doing?” He asked worriedly. He may not be the most knowledgeable parent of the year but he knew six was too young to be playing around with high risk things like that. Should he not have left her alone, even for those few minutes? Was that bad?!

Emma yelped, jumping before Hidgens lead her away. She looked up at him, bursting out apologies. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to take your stuff, I was gonna make food for you too!!” Emma knew what to do, she just couldn’t perfect it very well, she’d cooked bits before. 

That’s when Hidgens noted everything else surrounding the preheating oven and his six year old. There was food, baking trays, plates and cutlery. Ah... he should have realised she was using the oven for cooking. Of course. He just got so worried.

Because he hadn’t responded quickly he noticed Emma shaking under his hands. 

Emma wasn’t scared of Hidgens, no no. She was constantly scared she’d mess up, he’d hate her and take her back to her parents.

Hidgens rubbed Emma’s chest a bit, patting her shoulder. “That’s alright dear, no need to apologise. How about I clean this up and we cook something together hmm? Something maybe more appetising and nutritious than chicken nuggets and... melted chocolate sandwiches?” He tried to understand the contents on the table. 

Emma nodded, relaxing now under Hidgens touch. She grabbed onto his leg for another hug, glad he wasn’t mad at her.

It was about half an hour later when they both put their dinner into the oven. Of course, it was mostly Hidgens pushing it those final stages, with oven gloves, to protect Emma. But she was able to feel like she helped enough and it was some good bonding between them. 

“Yes my grandmothers recipes. I’ll teach you them all if you’d like. It’d be nice to have someone to pass them on to.” Hidgens noted in their conversation while they waited for their food to cook.

“So you didn’t have anyone to give them to before?”

“No darling.”

Emma nodded, sitting on the counter and swinging her legs underneath it. “Did your parents teach you?” She asked innocently. She wanted to know more about Hidgens. 

“Yes.”

She didn’t hear how strained that ‘Yes’ was, she was only a child. And she was just excited at the possibility of having new grandparents. Grandparents who must have been just as great as Hidgens. So she asked, “Can I meet them with you Hidgens?”

Hidgens slid the unused baking tray back into its cupboard, his hands giving a slight tremor before he could calm them. It had been quite long ago, but it still hurt to think too hard about. He turned to Emma, scooching beside her on the countertop. “Unfortunately they’ve both passed away now sweetheart.” He told her truthfully.

Emma nodded. She leant into Hidgens touch as he played with her hair. She didn’t realise just how calming it was to him as well. “Oh. Do you have any sisters or brothers?”

“No.”

“Aunts or uncles? Anyone?” Emma was determined to find someone Hidgens had forgotten about. She didn’t know why it was so important to her that Hidgens had family, people who looked after him.

“Unfortunately not sweetheart. It’s been just me for a long time. Just me keeping the Hidgens name alive.” He smiled then, nudging Emma ever so softly with his shoulder. “Well, until you that is.”

“Huh?”

“Well now I do have a family, don’t I?”

Emma’s eyes slowly widened as she caught on to what Hidgens was saying. And once she did, she threw her arms around his neck. “Yes!!!”

She squealed into his shoulder, holding him close to her. _Her family._ She liked that. She _loved_ it! She was Hidgens family and he was hers! She nuzzled into his shoulder and wormed her way onto his lap, holding her family close to her, her arms still gripping around his neck. She sighed “I’d have liked to meet your mom and dad.”

Hidgens smiled sadly. He could just imagine a universe where they all did meet in time. He was so blessed to have family yet again, and someone as absolutely amazing as Emma. He kissed his teeth, resting his cheek atop her head. “Oh and they would have loved to meet you too Emma dear. They would have felt blessed to have a granddaughter.”

Emma nudged Hidgens head till he moved it off of hers. Not because she didn’t like the touch, but because she wanted him to see her smile. “Well they do now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering this filler chapter was just in my notes as hidgens finding her at the oven and Emma explaining and bath time bit I’m glad I managed to get a bit more in for y’all aha.  
Sorry about the few days wait for this filler I had exams and came back home the past few days so haven’t had a lot of time, but back on track now!  
Thanks for reading and as always any comments are absolutely amazing and appreciated!


	12. Toy Shopping With Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens gets some excellent news. So he takes Emma shopping, for everything she should want

“Congratulations, it’s a girl!”

Hidgens nearly dropped his phone at the sound of Garrett’s voice. He gave a quick glance to Emma eating her breakfast, before leaving through the door to talk more. “The adoption went through?! There weren’t any complications or-“ He couldn’t even finish his own sentence.

“Nope! Everything is completely, 100% sorted, Goldstein guarantee! She’s yours. Congratulations, daddy!”

Hidgens threw a hand to his heart. What the fuck. He actually had a kid now. He peeked through the open door now, looking at Emma. She was kicking her feet under the table calmly, humming a song to herself happily and finally, looking over at Hidgens with nothing but compete adoration and love in her eyes. _Emma was his child._

He gave her a weak smile before hiding behind the wall again, because he knew his legs were about to give out and just in time, his back slid against the wall to ease his fall.

“Henry? Did you hear that?”

Hidgens had to blink multiple times to recompute his brain, he gripped the receiver closer. “No, sorry, what?” He didn’t think it much mattered, not in comparison to all this, but he knew he should pay attention anyway.

“We’ve set up a time for you to go in and get some of her belongings she wants, when her parents aren’t there.”

Hidgens nodded. He didn’t know if there would be much of anything Emma would want from that house, but he’d let her decide that. Unfortunately things were not all good though as Hidgens heard Garrett’s tone change into a more solemn one. So he asked. “Garrett. What’s wrong? What haven’t you told me?”

Garrett sighed on the other end. “I was waiting to tell you this till last, but there was one thing I couldn’t get them to agree to without making matters worse with the judge. Emma’s goodbyes to the eldest.”

Hidgens sucked his breath through his teeth. That would hurt Emma. No matter the rest of her family, she did love her sister. Garrett talked more about how it was confliction, if it was too dangerous they couldn’t risk Emma going back to see Jane, it would upset the two, it would ruin the adoption process if Emma said she wanted to stay with Jane, all these excuses. Hidgens eventually had to thank Garrett for everything and assure him he did amazingly. That Emma was calling for him so he had to go. But Hidgens was not deterred. Emma was his child! They could finally move on! So everything really was great.

It was probably the best morning of Emma’s life when Hidgens told her the news. _He was her dad now_, although she’d known that for way longer than that judge! She was being spun in the air, clinging to Hidgens arms in excitement. Only when she was securely on his hip did she have the breath to ask what they were gonna do now. She just had to do something! Every fibre in her being was screaming for them to get on with it and start living their life!

Hidgens swayed her around, trying to slow down the both of them. “Well we can go to your house and get anything you need or would like from there.”

Emma immediately shook her head. She kept shaking and she nuzzled it into Hidgens neck. He patted her back with the hand that wasn’t supporting her weight. “Oh Emma, not even a toy?” He didn’t mind too much, he just didn’t want her to regret a decision that might be stemmed from fear.

“Me and Jane share all our toys so I can’t.” 

Hidgens understood. She wasn’t saying she wasn’t allowed, she wouldn’t feel right. Even though Emma deserves more than anything. This just made it harder for Hidgens knowing she couldn’t officially say goodbye to her sister. However there were no communication limits. He would have to try and set up something between the girls, without the biological parents involvement. That would take a while, so now he focused on just Emma.

And that focus started at the biggest toy shop in Hatchetfield. It was a place Emma had passed only a few times, on the richer side of the island, and somewhere she and her sister had drooled at the windows to. And now, Hidgens was leading her inside.

There were floors upon floors, children playing with the unboxed toys, animatronics that spoke whenever you passed, big displays dangling from the ceiling. It was a wonderland.

And to make it all even better, it wasn’t just show. “Pick out something.”

“Really?!?”

Hidgens leaned down, resting on his knees. “Anything you’d like dear.”

Emma squealed as she hugged him around the neck as she could finally reach that vantage point with him crouched like this. Hidgens patted her back with a laugh but as he straightened she was still holding on, meaning she scrambled to stay like that. And Hidgens held her very carefully as he stood and realised she was staying attached, carefully, like she was the most precious thing.

As they browsed through the floors Emma just couldn’t pick! There were so many amazing things and she only had a few seconds to read their names before something even more incredible caught her eye. So when they, or rather Hidgens with Emma holding onto him, climbed the second set of spiral stairs, Emma asked him “What would you get, Hidgens?”

Hidgens chuckled, putting back a ‘super bouncy’ bouncy ball that had caught his eye as a small thing for Emma. “What would I get?” He liked how Emma always asked him these questions. They never annoyed him. He liked how curious she was, how confident she was to ask him, and that she seemed to care so much about getting into his mind. “I was always fond of stuffed toys when I was your age.” He answered truthfully.

“Yeah! Stuffed toy!” Emma climbed onto Hidgens shoulders as she pointed to that floor, which was above them. She felt just like an explorer and she could pretend Hidgens was her mighty steed. She giggled at the silly throught. Once he was sure Emma was stable, never having held someone on his shoulders before but feeling honoured Emma trusted him so, he held onto her legs and let her grip his hair in her small fists, as he led her to the stuffed toy section. Once they reached the shelves of raggedy Anne and other stuffed baby dolls, the first shelf in that department, Hidgens tried to put Emma down, but she stayed clinging to him. She hugged his head but didn’t try to make eye contact, trying to he subtle, but he could tell. “Emma why don’t you go play with some of the other kids?” He prodded lightly.

Hidgens could see this floor more than any was a child play zone. There was especially a big group huddled around the racing tracks. Looking at all those children just made Emma bury her face into Hidgens hair more. “Cos I wanna stay with you...”

He didn’t want to make her do anything that she’d find uncomfortable, but he wanted to start quickly on getting her confidence back up, so she wasn’t always just dependent on him, no matter how much he’d give to her, she needed to develop as an individual and start building up those social skills that her fear may have hindered her from. “Well why don’t you run around and try and find your favourite okay?” He suggested instead.

“Promise you won’t leave?”

Ah. Now Hidgens understood. He carefully reached up behind him and managed to grab Emma’s torso, bringing her down from his shoulders and placing her on the ground. All so he could look in her eyes as he told her “Emma I promise I will _never_ forget about you.”

“I love you Hidgens.”

Hidgens couldn’t even respond and she happily ran off to go explore. Then he felt bad, for being so shocked he physically couldn’t say anything, but he promised himself that he would say it soon.

Hidgens was watching Emma protectively, letting her explore on her own but keeping an eye on her at all times to make sure she was okay. He glowed as she started verbally responding to a girl who started a conversation with her.

Hidgens attention was briefly captured by a man a few years younger than him, purposely coming to stand next to Hidgens. He didn’t know why until he man asked “How old’s yours?”

Hidgens realised this man was probably the father of Emma’s new friend but that hardly mattered now. Because Hidgens was beaming with pride. His first parent conversation, and someone could so easily tell he was Emma’s father. “Six.” He answered, trying not to alert the man by choking up. He kept his eyes on Emma but noticed as the father crossed his arms to laugh heartily as the girls bumped heads, trying to pick up the others dropped giraffe. For a moment Hidgens was worried about Emma’s head, but seeing the father and the two children laugh he knew everything was okay. 

“Mine’s five, but they seem to be getting on well.” The other father started, but he quickly apologised to Hidgens as he had to run off to follow his child while they skipped behind a shelf.

Now alone, that’s when Emma ran up. She had a stuffed animal in hand and was panting so hard she couldn’t speak, but was smiling ear to ear. 

“Excellent running dear, and you didn’t trip!” Hidgens complimented while she caught her breath. He gave her his water bottle and she sipped it, even though both knew she didn’t really need it, it was the gesture that was important. 

He didn’t take it out of her hands when she showed the toy to him but he stroked behind its ear. “A lemur?” Not asking judgementally, he was just interested.

But he quickly shut up when Emma shook her head, still breathing hard with excitement. “No! It said it was, uh, a coat-i-mundi? But look at its face! It’s weird and cute and way cooler than a boring bear!” Emma blew air through her lips.

“Well if that’s what you want dear.” He nodded with a smile, Emma’s own just got brighter and brighter. Everything she did and said was right in Hidgens eyes, and she’d never had that before. Now her cheeks were pink not just from adrenaline.

“What are you going to call it?”

“Ted.”

Hidgens smirked. She was very confident in her answer at least. He let go of its fur. “Ted? Why’s that dear?”

“Well look at its face!” Emma jiggled it. “It’s so weird, it looks like a Ted.”

Hidgens laughed.

“Also it’s like teddy bear except it’s not a teddy bear because it’s cooler!” Emma told Hidgens excitedly, working through her thought process. She snuggled it close to her face, but kept one hand tight on Hidgens as they walked around the rest of the store. While Emma had been distracted Hidgens had been writing down more items he wanted to get Emma, so when he payed and she wasn’t paying attention, he ordered them for delivery. That included a kids science set, a kids microphone and a kids keyboard as well as more, but he reasoned that it was okay because it was close to Christmas!

The fact it was the holidays was also a blessing for Hidgens, since it gave him more time with Emma and time to transfer Emma from her sisters school to the other on their island, Sycamore Junior.

Hidgens let Emma hold Ted throughout their day long shopping trip, which consisted of a few odd shops and then by midday they were at Lakeside Mall. He kept checking the mirror in the car to make sure she was okay and saw her playing with it on her bumper seat and he was just so grateful for this. 

He did have to take her to the boring shops but she didn’t seem to mind when it was to pick out her wallpaper, extra furniture, decorations for her room, Hidgens was even able to pick out something himself, a mirror he could put lower in the bathroom, so Emma could actually see herself. 

Then clothes, a massive clothes haul. Emma was the opposite of spoilt, she never asked for anything, Hidgens would have to pick up anything she looked at for a few seconds or longer and take it off the rails, asking if she’d like it. Finally Emma could get some shoes that properly fit her too, and she was so polite to the worker measuring her feet. Hidgens was just so proud of her.

Emma had been so exhausted by the time the sun set, and it wasn’t even six when she started yawning, after such an exciting day that included lots of walking, even if half the time Hidgens was carrying her in some way. Only five minutes into the car starting, Hidgens checked the rearview and saw Emma was asleep. He kept quiet on the entire ride back, apart from the odd low humming to himself. 

When they parked up outside Hidgens house he opened the door and that didn’t wake her. So he decided he wouldn’t wake her at all. He unbuckled her and lifted Emma out of the car, holding her to his chest, gently guiding her legs to wrap around his hips which Emma in some unconscious state did, her cheek resting on Hidgens shoulder because she trusted him so fully. Her arms were limp at her sides yet one hand was still gripping onto Ted with her life. With a few of the bags in his other hand he bumped the door shut with his hip before locking it. 

Once inside Hidgens lay her on her new bed. He slipped her shoes off gently so as not to disturb her, wrapping the covers around her and her new toy, it not seeming important she was still in her clothes from the day, and set her down to sleep.

Once he’d made sure she was still sound asleep, proved by her soft yet high pitched sigh of content that just melted Hidgens fragile heart, and the fact her body immediately contorted into one of those weird sleeping positions they seem to get into, Hidgens kissed her head like he did every night, except this was the first night where she was legally his own daughter. “Goodnight my darling Emma. Sweet dreams.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s official! Hidgens is legally Emma’s father!! Yay! 
> 
> As always please leave any and all comments you have, and the love on last chapter was amazing btw!! Thank you for reading!
> 
> Also just note, even though a big milestone has been reached, this is nowhere near the end of the story...


	13. Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma has a nightmare, so of course she goes straight to her safe place. Hidgens.

Hidgens was just managing to fall asleep. He’d put Emma to bed about seven hours ago and had spent five hours finally finishing the paperwork to transfer her to a different school. Paperwork had become half of his life by this point, not that he’d rather the alternative. He’d spent the next two laying in bed and trying to fall asleep. He was in that half awake half asleep state, already nodding off, when the bright light coming from his door cracking open made him flinch, screwing his eyes shut on reflex.

“H-Hidgens?” 

His eyes shot open now. Emma was standing in the doorway, rubbing her eyes hard, her shoulders heaving as she hiccuped sobs.

Hidgens rose to sit, his eyes hurt and in shock. “Emma dear?! What’s wrong!?” Emma came to foot of bed but stayed standing there, upset. Hidgens opened up his arms and immediately with his permission now, she ran into his bed and into his chest. 

He hugged her, rocking her on his lap, her arm got twisted as he held her tight and looked around worriedly for an intruder or something of the sort. “Are you hurt?!” He asked, his body waking up all of a sudden making him even more confused and paranoid.

Shaking her head, Emma cried harder into his chest. She was clinging so tight to it she was gripping his skin through his shirt. Not that Hidgens minded, it just made him more frantic. “I- I had a nightmare Hidgens.” She managed to get out through shaky splutters of breath.

“Oh, Oh dear.” Now he understood. Now he wasn’t afraid of any immediate harm coming to Emma, he could focus on just soothing her. It was only a nightmare, of course, that didn’t make it any less scary though. He attempted to rock her on his lap, a little hard when she gripped onto his skin like her very life depended on it, but over his soothing whispers into her ear, her cries and sobs of pain, fright and anguish turned into small whimpers. Ones so small she could finally hear Hidgens say “Would you like to tell me about it?”

Emma untucked her head just enough for her lips to be visible, her red cheek resting on Hidgens tummy as she hiccuped. “It... d-dad was chasing me again. And he was yelling but when I covered my ears it was still loud.” Emma covered her ears as if she could hear it now, but quickly gripping back onto Hidgens. “And I tried to run but I couldn’t! I couldn’t run fast enough. And Jane started laughing at me and calling me a big baby...”

Hidgens saw her lower lip wobbling just like the first day he saw her. She was _his_ baby now.

“And then mommy stopped me from getting past so dad grabbed me and he threw me down a bunch of stairs a-and I kept falling and it was really scary, but I wanted to fall faster because he was still running after me. And I kept screaming for you but you didn’t come.”

That last part broke Hidgens heart. He tucked her in closer to his body, not an inch of her not resting against him. “I’m here now darling. I’m right here with you.”

“I couldn’t find you!” Emma cried again, yelling out. Hidgens stroked her hair, his chin resting atop her head very lightly. “Oh ssh ssh ssssssh...”

Emma screwed her eyes shut, but those images were still playing in her mind so she opened them wide, suddenly finding it hard to breathe and making up for it with big gulps of air. “I was screaming ‘dad’ but my old dad came!” She screamed out like she couldn’t say it fast enough.

Hidgens was the most shocked he’d probably ever been. But Emma’s spluttering to breathe brought him back to the situation at hand, her emotions were more important than his right now. So he ran his hand down her back more, crying himself now but for different reasons. He tried to hide that through, just letting the droplets fall silently. Then Emma topped it off...

“Daddy please don’t leave me alone...”

Emma wouldn’t even look at him. He could guess she was too afraid of the rejection, but Hidgens could never and would never reject Emma. “No never sweetheart. I promise. I’ll always be here for you. I’m your father now and I’ll be good at it. I will never ever leave you.”

Emma flicked a few glances up at Hidgens, her eyes big and doey. But at least she was playing with Hidgens hand now, tracking the lines and veins, lightly feeling the curvature of his fingers, tracing her index finger round and round in circles on the softest part. Her lip was still quivering as she managed to ask “Even when I’m old, like 30?”

Hidgens gave the smallest of laughs. “Is 30 old?” He was 39 and still extremely spry, it didn’t seem that old or that young to him.

“Well it’s adult isn’t it.” Emma shrugged, letting out a long, tired sigh, one that seemed to signal the last of her breathing difficulties for tonight.

“I guess you’re right darling.” He gave another small chuckle before bringing his hand up, Emma’s still attached and kissing the back of hers. It was so tiny. 

He consoled her by telling her this very simple fact. “I will always be with you, I’m your father for the rest of my life.”

Emma made an effort to look into Hidgens eyes now. She wanted the truth. She wanted him to promise this because she was so scared of a future without him. “What about for the rest of my life?”

Hidgens heart sank. He knew it was very unlikely he’d be around for the rest of Emma’s life, unless she died before him. And he’d be damned if he let that happen, Hidgens didn’t want to live in a world without Emma any more, he didn’t want her to die young, he wanted her to have the best possible future anyone could have. He wasn’t sure if she had had the talk about death before, even if her parents had bothered, she was six, he wasn’t sure if she’d even fully understand it. So because of that, there was no point getting her more upset now. Once she was older, she’d understand the natural course better. But he didn’t need to bring her that truth now, so Hidgens nodded, agreeing with her. “Till the end of days.”

Emma seemed finally at peace. She collapsed herself on him in a hug, starting to close her eyes droopily, no images coming forth, just blackness. “Can I stay with you tonight?” 

“Okay dear. Come here.” Hidgens untucked the covers for her and Emma quickly shimmied in right up next to him. Her cheek was resting on his chest, one arm above Emma the other around her, cocooning her so she knew she was safe, his palm resting on her back.

Emma sighed, Hidgens was warm and she was even warmer when he tucked the quilt over the two of them. His smell was also comforting, and he was just soft. This was Emmas safe place.  
“I love you dad.”

Hidgens kissed her head, and even though the kiss was an extended one, quickly bringing his chin back up so none of the tears escaping him would fall onto Emma, alerting her. Hidgens readjusted his hold, keeping her close. “I love you too, my sweet child.”

The next day Hidgens ordered gates, starting work on his own high defence systems. Emma watched in awe as Hidgens worked on it all, and saw their home transform into one of the safest places, if not the safest, on the island. He did it for Emma, but he’d also been planning these systems ever since he started work on one of his best theories. It was something he’d been yet to tell many people, but he had to prepare for the day it came to fruition. At least he knew, he and Emma would be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked this chapter even though it felt a little short, I didn’t want to ruin it by adding more stuff that didn’t really fit or make sense for the sake of a longer word count, but I think the next two chapters will be quite a bit longer than this (🤞)  
Thank you for all the support I’ve had on the last few chapters, it’s really been amazing and I just hope not to let y’all down! As always please leave any and all comments that you have as they’ve just been amazing and really lifting me recently, as well as definitely helping my motivation for this fic! Thanks for reading


	14. Lead Up To Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How December has gone in the Hidgens home.  
Just pure Christmastime fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also spoilers about Santa so just in case, you’ve been warned kiddins (although if you’re p young you probably shouldn’t be on ao3??? But just a fair warning ;-) )

“Hidgens! Hidgens!” Emma ran into Hidgens room, startling him awake with a half-snore. “Wha- What?” He yawned, sitting up as Emma crawled over him and onto his bed. 

He had to squint to see what she was holding at first, and then after he rubbed his eyes clear, he saw the advent calendar he’d bought for her in her hands. He turned to her with a smile, one Emma was happily reciprocating. “It’s the first day of Christmas!”

Hidgens chuckled at her enthusiasm, and that every day in December was basically Christmas now. He watched her open it and pop out a reindeer shaped chocolate. Then Emma searched around Hidgens room. “Where’s your calendar?” She asked, only spotting a boring old normal one, one without any chocolate.

“Ah, well... I just don’t have one Emma. But that doesn’t matter!”

But Emma wasn’t accepting that. She frowned, before offering her small chocolate out to this hero of a man. Hidgens heart melted.

“You can have mine if you want.”

After some debate Hidgens ended up trying to split it, which was a little hard but once he’d broken a small piece off he thought Emma would be happy. But she kept watching him. So, tentatively, Hidgens took his piece and plopped it into his mouth, smiling at her. Then Emma bared her teeth in a big smile up at Hidgens, swallowing her own piece and humming happily.

That day when he and Emma went out, he made sure to make a quick stop to buy who own advent calendar, it was mostly so Emma could have her own chocolate but as the days passed Hidgens started to love that extra sweetness in the morning. Even though he was already overloading with sweetness as Emma climbed into his bed to open the advent calendars together every single day.

~

He made sure Emma was all bundled up in her matching coat, hat, gloves and scarf when they went out to the Christmas tree sale. Emma seemed to love it, she literally skipped along, holding Hidgens hand of course, as they browsed around, Hidgens waiting for her to pick out one she liked.

Emma held onto his arm, looking up at him with a smile, her cheeks and the tip of her nose pink. “We’ve never had a real one before!” Then Emma spotted a big 7 footer, stroking its leaves in awe. “And nothing this big! It’s bigger than you Hidgens!” Her head ping-ponged between the top of Hidgens hair and the top of the tree, as if she couldn’t fathom much in the world being taller than him. So Hidgens immediately knew this was the tree for them.

Decorating the tree was a whole different experience. Hidgens hadn’t had a Christmas tree in years, there simply hadn’t felt like any point, but with Emma in his life it just made Christmas feel a million times more festive and cheery, like he was a child again, Christmas just felt... alive.

He’d taught her how to make popcorn and cranberry garlands, something he used to do with his parents all the time and was surprised when Emma had never heard of it. She seemed to enjoy it though, when she wasn’t eating half their decorations. Although hidgens didn’t mind. He ‘sneakily’ popped a few pieces of cranberry into his mouth too, just so Emma didn’t feel bad. 

Hidgens let Emma decide the decorations from boxes upon boxes and in the end the tree was overly filled but honestly, it was cuter than having it look all aesthetically pleasing. And at the very end, Hidgens brought Emma up onto his shoulders, telling her it was alright to stand on them, as he was holding her legs very carefully, and she took the honour of placing the star on top of the tree. 

Something Emma had never been able to do before, as not the favourite. Something Hidgens wanted Emma to do every single year.

~

Hidgens had finally gotten Emma’s letter to Santa written out. It took him a while of gently prodding but one night, Emma reluctantly got off Hidgens lap as they were sharing their evening hot chocolate in the library, went to find some crayons and paper and started writing. Of course, once she’d placed it on the fireplace in the main living room, immediately running back to Hidgens armchair and laying with him, taking one of his already very melted marshmallows as payment. She frowned at the taste and he just teased it was from taking one of _his_ marshmallows, but in a light way she would know he was joking and wouldn’t feel guilty. He didn’t tell her that occasionally, he’d swap his hot chocolate for a simple coffee - still with marshmallows and whipped cream for the look of course. The one night he accidentally got the coffee and hot chocolte mixed up was a dreaded night he’d rather not think about again...

But, checking once again, Emma was fast asleep, he went to the fireplace and opened her letter, eager to know what delights she wanted so he could get them in time for the 25th. He’d managed to almost fully be able to read Emma’s handwriting by now, even with her phonetic spelling and occasionally getting letters backwards (the number 3 was a big one for mix ups like that) but once he’d finished reading it, flipping to the back page to check there was truly nothing else written on it, Hidgens burst into a flood of happy tears, that he’d seemed to be getting a lot because of sweet Emma, and had to go sit down in his armchair, holding it close to his heart. He re-read it yet again.

_’Dear Satan’_

That was funny on its own for Hidgens.

_‘I no you came early and gav me HIDGENS so thank you!!! Theirs nothing else I realy can think of now, mayb giv HIDGENS (NOT my old dad, my new dad!!) soem thing he wants?_  
_Thank you Satan and HOE HOE HOE!!_

_Love Emma Hidgens xoxoxoxoxoxox’_

Oh Hidgens wanted to hug that kid so badly right now.

~

There was a little friendly competition going on between Emma and Hidgens, over who could make the best gingerbread house. Hidgens, of course, went for aesthetic, making a story with the giant gingerbread men he and Emma had cooked earlier, whereas Emma got every sweet imaginable on there.

He looked over when he heard Emma laughing hysterically, only to see the icing pipette squeezed in her hands and the icing all over her face, the series of events that caused this accident wasn’t very hard to follow. Not petrified it had gone in her eyes and she’d be blind, like he might have done beforehand, Hidgens simply got a towel and dabbed away the mess, laughing with Emma and lightly teasing her for not listening to his instructions. She took the towel up to her face and licked off a stripe of the icing.

Emma eyed him cheekily. “It’s not gross! It’s sweet! Here!” She pushed the towel into Hidgens face and he had to gently fight her off. In the end he just managed to get some on the top of her nose, which Emma affectionately didn’t wipe off, and Hidgens had a sweater that needed desperately to go in the wash, once they were finished.

Emma just sighed after the fight, a smile still on her face as she sprinkled icing sugar over the roof of her house. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Neither have I. It can be our new tradition, would you like that Emma?” 

Of course, Emma loved it.

When they were both finished Emma was adamant Hidgens didn’t judge.

“And why not?” He asked, wiping his hands down. Emma just rolled her eyes as if it’d be obvious. “Because you’d be unfair dad!”

Hidgens didn’t know if that meant she thought he’d make himself win or she knew he’d give it to her. So instead, Hidgens took some initiative, and picked up the gingerbread man he’d decorated to look like a mayor. He stood him up, before jiggling him about, putting in a big, bold, over exaggerated voice. “Hello Miss Hidgens! I’m the mayor of this gingerbread town. I’ve come to decide which home is best for my people!”

Emma and Hidgens exchanged glances for what felt like hours to Hidgens. But mere seconds later, Emma rested her chin in her hands and spoke down to the gingerbread man. “Hello Mister Mayor! Please choose mine, I worked way harder than Hidgens.”

Hidgens sighed a small sigh of relief, quickly getting back into character and ‘uhm-ing’ and ‘ah-ing’ in that deep voice as he made him travel around the houses. Hidgens was just so glad Emma could be a kid.

Then, the results were in. Emma’s eyes sparkled as she waited, looking pleadingly at the gingerbread man and fake fiercely at Hidgens, still with the biggest grin on her face, one that only got bigger as she was declared the winner on grounds of deliciousness!

Emma did a little happy dance around the table, only stilling when ‘the mayor’ started speaking again. “In fact! It’s so good that I think I, the mayor, will move in there myself!”

Emma’s eyes just widened, running to the other side of the table to pull on Hidgens sleeve. “Did you hear that Dad? The mayors house!”

Of course Hidgens had heard it, he’d said it. But why on earth would he ruin her fun? He played along, nodding and congratulating Emma with a hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning, for being the victor.

~

When they’d arrived at Lakeside mall to do some extra Christmas shopping, Emma immediately took off and ran away. Hidgens, of course, freaked the fuck out. 

“Emma!” He cried, trying to follow her through the sea of heads, ones she definitely couldn’t poke out from. Then he heard her calling for him from 2 o’clock. “Come _on_ Hidgens! This way!”

Once Hidgens saw Emma again she was screaming... surrounded by a bunch of other screaming children. He scooped her up off the ground before she’d even noticed he was there, and hugged her close before quickly pulling back. He almost had a talking to in him, before Emma grabbed his chin delicately and turned it to where she’d been looking. “Look!” She said gleefully and now Hidgens knew why she’d run off. She was waiting in line to Santa’s grotto.

Hidgens let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding in, resting his forehead against Emma’s shoulder and closing his eyes for a moment. Then, once he’d calmed hsimelf down, he had to tell her “Emma. Darling. You can’t just run off like that! You scared me.”

When he saw Emma’s lip pouting out and wobbling he felt fear, then tears start to arrive in Emma’s eyes and he feared it was over. 

“I’m sorry daddy!”

Emma threw his arms around Hidgens neck, crying heartily into it too. Oh god. Hidgens felt horrible now, disgusting. He just wanted to teach her about the dangers of the world, did she already think that quickly he would punish her like that?

But luckily for Hidgens, he soon realised, fear wasn’t the reason Emma was crying and begging for him to forgive her. “I didn’t want to scare you, I didn’t want to make you upset I’m really really really sorry.” She wasn’t scared of Hidgens, _she felt bad._

Hidgens rubbed her back, shushing her as other parents looked on, some disapproving, others looking empathetically towards him. But eventually Emma stopped crying enough for him to explain that, no he wasn’t upset, yes everything was okay now, he only worried because he loved her so much and that Emma promised not to run off without saying anything again. Again, not because she was scared, but because she understood why she shouldn’t any more.

Then, once Emma had calmed down, Hidgens brushing him thumb under her eyes and flicking her chin to make her smile again, he asked her “Do you want to stay in line and see Santa?”

Emma’s eyes widnened, staring at Santa’s grotto, even when she spoke to Hidgens, asking “Is that okay?”

“Of course it is sweetheart!”

So they stayed in line for about half an hour, there were apparently many children here at that specific time on that specific day. But the decorations in line were magical enough to keep the children, or at least, the more polite ones like Hidgens’ Emma, entertained.

When an elf, an eager enough looking teen girl, went and let Emma and Hidgens in next, Hidgens was very relieved to see an actual elderly man, a very grandfatherly type, sitting in the chair, rather than a drunkard with a falling off beard. Everything deserved to be perfect for Emma.

Emma seemed a little shy at first though. She just stared at Santa with a mouth like a fish gaping for water, until Hidgens lightly pushed her to “Go and say hi!”

Emma walked over, climbing on Santa’s lap. Santa didn’t seem to mind that she seemed to be one of the shyer ones, he still kept that rosy smile on. “Hello little one, what’s your name?”

“Emma.”

“Why hello Emma, and is this your daddy?” Santa looked up to Hidgens and Hidgens beamed, even though it was a pretty obvious conclusion, he still loved that people could recognise him as Emma’s father. 

And this question seemed to make Emma quickly come out of her shell. She was no longer speaking quietly. “Yeah! He adopted me!”

Hidgens forgot how blunt kids could be sometimes. He laughed quietly, rubbing his neck. But Santa didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Oh how lovely! So is this your first Christmas together?”

Emma was shocked Santa knew that, she bounced on his knee excitedly. “Yes Santa!”

“Oh ho ho ho how splendid.” Emma chuckled quietly, she’d heard the phrase! Santa readjusted his knees just a bit, before getting onto business. “So, Emma, have you been a good girl this year?”

Emma looked to Hidgens unsure and it was quite heartbreaking to see that she didn’t know. He tried to find a silver lining that, without his constant positive encouragement, she might have not even asked for his opinion, she might have just deemed herself bad. Furthermore, Hidgens thought maybe he and Santa shared a small look of understanding for just a moment, but he couldn’t tell if he was breaking character or not. So quick, to not alarm Emma, he nodded encouragingly at her. Emma turned around and told Santa, very confidently now with Hidgens say so, “Yes.”

“Oh I believe it!” Santa told her, making Hidgens think more he hadn’t imagined that look in his eyes. 

“Now Emma, what do you want for Christmas?” He finally asked.

Hidgens watched as Emma leaned close and whispered in Santa’s ear, cupping her mouth so no one else could hear.

Curious, Hidgens carefully watched as Santa nodded, but the man didn’t give anything away. When Emma pulled away he finally spoke, but that didn’t clue Hidgens in any more. 

“Ahhhh. Well we’ll see what the elves and I can do alright? But for now, I have a special gift for you.”

Emma’s jaw dropped open. “You do?!”

Hidgens even blinked a little. There hadn’t been mention of free gifts, he watched as the teen moved behind a black curtain behind Santa’s throne.

Santa bounced Emma on his knee just once. “Oh yes. The best boys and girls get a little present from me early.” He gave a fatherly wink and Emma giggled into her hands. She was clearly so flattered and excited.

The elf came out from behind the curtain with Santa’s sack. And Hidgens watched, excited for Emma, and Santa got her to dip in and pick one. Emma rummaged through, but quickly picked out a smaller package, one that could fit in Hidgens hand, with green and gold wrapping, and a big sticker that said ‘Do not open till Christmas’

Emma cradled it close, thanking Santa over and over, who just smiled at her. “Now would you like a picture?” He asked, the teen elf getting a camera out.

Emma nodded and Hidgens gave his consent, watching the two of them posing, when Emma reached her hand out, grasping in Hidgens direction. “Dad, aren’t you coming to take a picture with me and Santa?” She pouted, tilting her head sadly and still clasping her hand in the air.

Santa agreed he should come so Hidgens went over and held the back of the throne. But apparently that wasn’t good enough for Santa. “Oh no!” He boomed, and at first, Hidgens was worried he’d done something wrong. Till he saw Santa patting his lap. For Emma, Hidgens sat there, feeling awkward at first but with Santa and Emma giggling to each other Hidgens couldn’t help but smile too. 

As he payed the girl for the Polaroid Emma gave Santa a hug bye and then surprised the teenager pocketing the change by giving the elf a hug too. The teen was shocked, but she leant down to hug back, mouthing ‘holy shit she’s so cute’ to Hidgens who just nodded in agreement.

When Emma pulled back, and looked like she didn’t want to leave this wonderland, Hidgens reasoned with her. “Come on Emma, more children are waiting.”

So with a quick wave goodbye to the two workers, clutching her small present close, Hidgens started the drive home... until about 10 minutes in when he realised the actually went to the mall to do shopping and hadn’t done any of that yet so they had to turn around and go back.

~

Emma was trying to find her snow boots for Hidgens to put on, they were going sledding in the park today, since it had finally showed in Hatchetfield. Meanwhile Hidgens had been playing a Christmas CD, while he searched for his own coat. Emma had been happily singing along to the tracks quietly, the whole time it’d been on. Which is why when Hidgens stopped being able to hear her, he went looking. “Emma?” He called out, watching her appear from behind the door. He smiled “Oh sorry darling, I just couldn’t hear you.”

Emma walked up to Hidgens, dragging his big coat on the floor. “Yeah, I don’t understand these words.” She passed it to him.

Hidgens thanked her, ruffling her hair and then realising what song was playing. “Ah yes, well no wonder you don’t know the lyrics, they’re in Spanish! So not a problem dear.” He didn’t want her to think less of her intellect like she’d been quick to do in the past. But when Hidgens turned away to check the mirror now he’d gotten his coat on, Emma tugged on his sleeve. He turned back around, kneeling down to her height.

“I wanna learn the song.” She told him, and Hidgens praised her for wanting to learn and how good that was. “Well it’s a song called ‘feliz navidad’, can you say that dearest?”

Emma bounced on the heels of her feet, holding her hands behind her and moving the word around on her tongue, before trying “Fleas navi-dad?”

Hidgens had to bite his tongue to stop him from giggling. “You’re not far off dear. ‘Fell-eez, nah-vee-dahd’”

“Fell-eez nah-vee-dad?”

“Yes! Very good! At least, that’s my botched American version of it.” Hidgens laughed, kissing Emma’s head to praise her, and also because he felt like it. “It means ‘Merry Christmas’.”

“Oh cool! Can you teach me the rest!?”

Of course, Hidgens enthusiastically obliged. ‘próspero año y felicidad’ was a bit harder for Emma, especially since this was the first language she’d properly started to learn. But Emma was stubborn, she didn’t care if the snow melted. Hidgens was a teacher and her dad, and she wanted to prove she could learn it. Hidgens was just happy to be bonding with her. When Emma eventually managed to pull off the pronunciation, after numerous high fives, Hidgens let her listen to the lyrics in full, before rewinding the track back to the start so they could sign it together.

“Do you want to do more of the English bit? Still doing the Spanish chorus of course.”

Emma looked like she was about to protest, before nodding. She wanted to hear Hidgens sing in Spanish anyway.

But before Hidgens pressed play, he told Emma to wait there for just a moment. Emma desperately wanted to follow, to stay in eyesight of Hidgens. But she allowed him to leave and stayed to be good. She squealed and clapped her hands together when Hidgens came back with a guitar. “I didn’t know you could play that!” Emma gasped, walking over to stroke the wood. Hidgens tuned it, smiling. “I haven’t actually played it in too long, I prefer piano, but the guitar is excellent for this song. 

And then he started to sing.

Emma was just blown away. She sat there in awe as her new cool dad sung perfectly in Spanish, the pronunciation just slipping off his tongue effortlessly, and strummed his guitar to the notes. Enough so Emma almost forgot to sing. Almost.

_“Feliz navidad_  
_Fleiz navidad_  
_Feliz navidad, próspero año y felicidad.”_  
Emma almost gasped inbetween singing, she and Hidgens were duetting of course, but she could tell she got it right! And more than that, they sounded amazing together!

_“I want to wish you a merry Christmas.”_

_“Celebremos juntos la vida...”_

Emma laughed trough the first note of her line again

_“Y que viva la alegría.”_ Hidgens continued with a reassuring smile that she was doing amazing. 

Emma just couldn’t believe how cool this man was, and that someone so incredible amazing wanted her as his daughter.

Hidgens put down his guitar after that chorus, because Emma looked like she was about to pounce. And once he’d put it down, Emma did just that. Leaping onto Hidgens lap and patting his face while cooing. “You’re so cool!” She expressed. Hidgens was absolutely flattered. “Why thank you Emma! That’s very nice of you to say. And you know, it’s good for you to learn this type of thing if you ever want to go to a Spanish speaking country in future. Maybe we should have a holiday there one day!”

~

Hidgens eventually did take Emma sledding, and ice skating, both of them ending in injuries. Not for Emma though, just Hidgens. Sledding was when he had to run down the hill, screaming for Emma to try and slow down, not that she could hear, she was having the time of her life, whooping and wheeing, and he had to throw himself in front of her sled, making Emma crash into him, so she couldn’t hit the tree she was indirectly aiming straight for. Emma was mad at Hidgens for being so stupid at first, then upset because was it her fault he was hurt? But with only a few aches and pains hidgens managed to brush himself off and take Emma to the less steep hills, no matter how much she protested she could take on Mt. Everest.

Ice skating Hidgens actually did an alright job in helping Emma learn to balance. He could see them both dancing on ice together when she was older if she kept learning at the same rate. Unfortunately other kids around the area weren’t as quick to pick up on it and that resulted in an 8 year old boy screaming for everyone in his way to ‘look out!’, Hidgens barrelling himself in front of a shocked Emma to protect her and being knocked down by the kid, the child’s skates slicing up Hidgens calf too. The whole rink had to be shut down since there was a reddish/pink patch now. Very luckily, it didn’t need stitches. Hidgens just had to calm the two crying children while the boys parents skated through the commotion over to him, apologising profusely. 

Hidgens decided to not test skiing this year.

On a day where the snow was thick enough, Hidgens and Emma started to work together to build a snowman. It was fun, and Emma found that Hidgens actually owned a top hat and with pebbles, a scarf, and a carrot they managed to make Emma’s favourite snowman of all time. This was the day Hidgens learnt a new Christmassy tradition off Emma this time. To stick your tongue out and try and catch a snowflake. Emma teased when Hidgens got one first that it ‘wasn’t fair’ because he ‘was taller’. Hidgens thought that may have just been a ploy for him to allow her on his shoulders again but in the slippery snow he wasn’t trying that.

When Emma saw a bunch of kids having a snowball fight on her drive home one day with Hidgens, she begged if they could do that when they got back. Hidgens agreed but he didn’t realise Emma was watching those pre-teens and mentally noting all their tactics.

Hidgens wasn’t violent in the game, in fact, he didn’t throw many snowballs at all, and the ones he did missed. His tactic was to roll around, hide and dodge. Emma even suggested making an igloo like a fort. But when Emma snuck up on Hidgens, managing to smack one on his head as he crouched down behind a corner, waiting for her to appear from a spot she was no longer hiding in. Hidgens shook the snow out of his hair, some of it falling down his face and he ran away, screaming like she was a terror. Emma was so so thankful he didn’t learn from his mistake from last time, and watched as he knelt again, making more ammo. This time she took all the snow she could gather in her hands... and chucked it down Hidgens neck and back, behind his coat and shirt. 

Hidgens cringed at the cold, trying to shake it all out, some of it already starting to melt on his back and get his shirt wet. 

Now he ‘managed’ to hit a few snowballs, on Emma’s (heavily padded) coat. But something he wasn’t expecting was for Emma to enjoy that more. It seemed to make her more competitive and she thought it was hilarious when she got shot with one. She stuck her tongue out at Hidgens when they finally went inside. “You were pathetic dad! You never even hit my face!” She grinned, feeling victorious.

~

Hidgens had allowed Emma to stay up a little later because it was nearly Christmas, and they were watching a film together! They had to start it late because the restaurant he took Emma to for dinner had a terrible unexpected waiting time but he’d promised to watch this with her back home. And Emma was more than happy to be up slightly later. To be honest, Hidgens was pretty happy with it too, the evenings got lonely when she went to bed so early.

So Emma was sat on his knees and happily singing along to the ‘muppets Christmas carol’. When Hidgens could join in on the lyrics, having only seen the film in passing but actually rather enjoying it, he sung along with Emma. She seemed to like when they sang together. During a narration part with Gonzo, Emma turned to Hidgens to interrupt. “When I was a kid I thought the muppets were real, how silly!” She giggeld into her hand, after telling Hidgens this embrassing secret she trusted him with. 

Hidgens bounced his knees, as Emma requested, but his eyebrows furrowed with a smile. “Are you not still a kid?” He asked her. He should have know that children liked to think they were older and more mature when they were, not like adults who sometimes wished they could be as free, dependent and full of hope as kids again.

“A little kid.” Emma said instead, and this time Hidgens didn’t debate it.

Scrooge was just waking up, throwing coins at the little boy in the window to get the best goose, when Hidgens realised Emma had fallen right asleep on him whilst watching the film. Truth be told, Hidgens had been so engrossed in the film and Mr. Caines spectacular acting he actually had no idea when Emma had fallen asleep. To be fair, she’d been very quiet, with her eyes fixed ahead of her on the tv, to pay attention too, except she’d been leaning against Hidgens chest for the past hour. He knew she hadn’t been asleep that long, but she was definitely exhausted from staying up till 10 past 9 and in a deep sleep.

So he turned the volume down and quietly let the last song play, as he checked Emma was in a deep enough sleep that he could move her. And he could, she was _gone._ He carefully scooped her off his lap and into his arms, standing up and tiptoeing around the house. Hidgens rokced her ever so gently in his arms, humming as he lay her down in her bed, his hand still holding hers, tucking her up and making sure the heating was high enough - but not too high it could cause a fire! 

And with her all tucked in, he leaned down to kiss her goodnight, softly removing her hair from her face. He attempted to get up and leave but his hand wouldn’t be freed so easily. He carefully looked down and saw Emma was still passed out, but she was holding onto his fingers tight. With a lot of soothing whispers, gentle touches and expert manoeuvring Hidgens managed to slip ‘Ted’ into Emma’s hand in replacement of his own. With a sigh, Emma tucked the toy into her chest and pressed her nose into it. Hidgens sighed, happy she was happy and undisturbed. He turned the light off, and went to make a list of her presents that had not arrived yet.

~

It was Christmas Eve, and Hidgens was not getting Emma into bed as easily as he’d done a couple of nights ago. 

In fact, right now, Emma was bouncing up and down on Hidgens bed, still in her clothes from the day, a big red Christmas sweater with a Pom-Pom Rudolph nose, along with a multicoloured skirt and tights. At least she wasn’t wearing shoes. 

“I don’t wanna go to sleep yet Dad! I wanna stay up to see Father Christmas!” She kept bouncing. Luckily, Hidgens had had enough to his own sugar to nearly match Emma’s playfulness tonight. “Oh no you won’t!” In a way that didn’t hurt her, he grabbed her waist and pulled her back down onto the bed, Emma laughing her ass off. And once she was, Hidgens pressed his lips to her tummy and started blowing raspberries. 

“No! Not therahaha!!!” Emma cried with tears of laughter falling down, pretending she was trying to push Hidgens off but not really. She’d never gotten this much affection before in just one night. Hidgens blew another raspberry again, this time it landing on Emma’s stomach as her sweater rose with her cackles, and now she was screaming with laughter. 

“You have to go to sleep! Santa won’t visit if he’s seen!” Hidgens told her, it was what his parents had told him when he was her age. And he didn’t know if his words had definitely gotten through to her, of if his game of ‘round and round the garden’ had tickled Emma too much and she needed to be able to breathe through her howling laughter, but it worked.

“Okay okay!” Emma wheezed, still giggling to cool herself down as Hidgens finally stopped attacking her with tickles. Emma sat up, running her hands over her sides to get that lingering tickling to go away. “I’ll go to sleep, but can we put the milk and cookies and carrots out first?” She begged, getting up on her knees and fake pouting her lip but unable to hold it long before she was laughing again. Laughing so hard she fell into Hidgens lap, then just laughing more at her clumsiness. 

Hidgens laughed along with her, it was contagious! -“We were already going to do that!”- Before swooping her up into his arms and peppering lots of little kisses to her face. 

“That tickles too!” Emma giggled only for Hidgens to respond with “Oh, I know!”

She squealed, wriggling about in his arms until she could finally kiss Hidgens on the cheek, since he stayed still long enough for her. 

Hidgens just cooed, laying her in his lap but one arm still around her back. “But first, before that... Now I know it’s not Christmas yet but I have a little early present for you.”

Emma squealed for a different reason this time, watching as Hidgens leaned under his bed and brought out a neatly wrapped package with a red bow on top. Emma just hugged him, throwing her arms around Hidgens and smiling into his shoulder.

Chuckling, Hidgens hugged her back, before saying “You haven’t even opened it yet!”

Emma pulled back, her eyes nearly popping out of her skull. “Wait... you mean I can open it... now!?” She’s never had this before! Hidgens just smiled with clenched teeth, gesturing towards it. “Yes! That’s why it’s an early present! Now come on, open it!” He couldn’t help his excitement. It probably wasn’t a great gift, he’d gotten her many other things, but this one just felt right for Christmas Eve.

Emma carefully undid the tape, careful not to tear the wrapping paper. Once she’d fully unwrapped it, Emma pulled it to the side and gasped quietly at what was underneath, pulling it out to get a better look. 

It was angel pyjamas. An angel nighty, gold and white with wings printed delicately on the back and it just looked... beautiful. Very elegant.

Since Emma hadn’t said a word, Hidgens hugged her from behind and explained his reasoning. “Well it’s Christmassy and, you’re an angel dear.”

Emma started crying now. Whimpering, and Hidgens was worried for a moment, maybe he’d set her expectations too high... and then Emma hugged him. Not an overexcited one, or one where she felt she had to cling to every inch of him to make sure he was there. But a tender, loving hug. And Hidgens hugged her back, just as full of love.

Emma didn’t even know why she was crying over this. She just knew she was so so happy here with Hidgens, and that she loved him.

Once Emma had gotten into her new pyjamas Hidgens held her hand as he led her downstairs, and he let her set out the glass of milk, as well as the plate of carrots for the reindeer, and more cookies the two of them had baked, these ones specifically for Santa though. That’s why they were decorated with his face, Hidgens didn’t bring up the cannibalistic intonations, he didn’t think Emma would have found it as funny as him. 

And once all of that was set out, and there were no more excuses for Emma to stay awake, Hidgens finally managed to get her in bed. Well, not asleep, and not even still. He read to her “‘Twas the night before Christmas”... and “How the Grinch stoke Christmas”.... and an Enid Blyton Christmas book he couldn’t even recall the name of. When she asked him to show her once of the dances from the nutcracker is where he had to draw the line. 

He kissed her goodnight, told her to go to sleep before Santa got there, and closed the door.

But an hour later, Emma still couldn’t get to sleep! She was tired, but she was too excited! She bet Hidgens was already asleep by now, considering how much he wanted her to go to sleep. And then, too tired to get out of bed, and watching the snow illuminate the blackness outside, that’s when she heard the beautiful chime of bells, sleigh bells. She just knew it. And screwing she eyes shut as hard as she could, gripping her quilt tight and face plastered with a smile, that’s when she went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked! This was so hard to write with all the Christmas stuff I’ve got to do, I have no idea how I’m gonna do the next chapter in time lmao. As always please leave any and all comments as they really help and thanks so much for reading!! 💕🎅


	15. Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!!!!

This day, Hidgens woke Emma up instead. He’d made sure everything was perfect beforehand, before running into her room and gently shaking her awake. “Emma?” He sang, until Emma slowly started to open her eyes. Upon seeing Hidgens smile, she shot up out of bed. “It’s Christmas?!” She asked.

Hidgens nodded, but before he could get a word out Emma started to run downstairs, holding onto the side of her her angel nighty. Hidgens scurried after her. “Emma wait!”

Emma skidded to a halt, just at the top of the stairs. Hidgens eventually caught up, wondering how kids were this fast. “I have to check and make sure Santa’s not still here!” Hidgens whispered, putting a finger to his lips. Emma nodded, understanding now. She put her finger to her lips too, letting Hidgens go check, very seriously. The entirety of Christmas could depend on this.

Hidgens made sure everything looked absolutely 100% perfect one last time, and when he was satisfied, he got his camcorder out. “Emma?” He called upstairs. “You can come down now!”

Emma ran down the stairs, but she only got about half way when she felt like she was moving in slow motion. The house looked like a magazine. It was all picturesque perfection. There were so many decorations, like they’d had before, some more of the cranberry and popcorn garlands were strung around the mantelpiece, tinsel surrounding the bannister, stars hanging from the ceiling, paper snowflakes, Christmassy pictures Emma drew and more. But the thing that caught Emma’s attention first was the presents. There. Were. So. Many. Presents! They were all wrapped in shiny gold, red, green, silver, blue with big bows, not to mention her stocking was full to the brim. 

Once Emma had been sucked back into reality, she just squealed. “Santa visited!”

Hidgens chuckled, making sure to capture Emma’s face on the recording. “Well why are you surprised my dear?”

Emma stroked down the side of one of the bigger boxes, her touch featherlight, like she wasn’t supposed to be touching it. “Santa doesn’t really visit me, it’s because I’m so bad.”

Hidgens put the camera down now. “I assure you, you’re not.”

“Well it’s because I have you now!”

“And never have been.” He continued. He wanted to explain how horrible her parents were, about all their favouritism etc etc but instead he said they’d save it for another day. Then he gestured to all the gifts lay out. “Well go on! Open them!” He grinned, his eyes wild and excited for her.

Hidgens just smiled wider and wider as Emma opened more and more. He had the presents he’d bought when he bought Ted, the kids keyboard microphone and science set. As well as getting her a Tea party set (he was unsure if she’d like but it could be fun for both of them), kids baking oven (as she talked about his grandmas recipes), dinosaur figurines with proper detail, lots of arts and crafts, a puppet theatre with puppets, costumes of different characters as well as for acting, plenty of books, one of those horse head stick thingys, a magic wand, bouncy balls, plenty of sweets, jigsaws, a star globe, make your own slime kit, modelling clay, a bike which he promised her he’ll teach how to ride, just like her roller skates, and outside was a massive trampoline (with safety netting of course) as well as much much more. It was pretty over the top. Validated by Emma’s cry of “This is more than I’ve ever gotten in my whole entire life!”

Emma took her time, unwrapping carefully and looking over each present properly. So it took about two hours for her to get through everything, all the whole Hidgens was softly playing his Christmas cd, and filming the best parts, but he tried to live in the moment as much as possible too.

Then, when all of Hidgens presents for her were gone, he brought out her gift from the mall Santa. “Oh! Here Emma, last one.”

This one Emma took extra special care in opening, it was hand presented to her by Santa himself, for being one of the best children he’d seen all day! When Emma unwrapped it there was a beautifully carved reindeer in there, a light oak colour and one tiny bell attached as a collar. Emma held it close to her chest, kissing the top of its head and swaying.

Now that all the presents had gone, Emma was looking around at the rest of the room, and she was looking tad disappointed in the end, Hidgens thought. So, he asked “Emma? What’s wrong?” Did he not get her everything she wanted? Hidgens would kick himself if he’d messed up.

Emma sighed, sealing Hidgens fears, until she looked up at him. “Well I asked Santa to get you something you wanted, but you don’t really have any presents...”

Hidgens understood now, he exhaled loudly, manoeuvring through all the wrapping paper to sit down next to Emma. “Oh but I have exactly what I need the best present of all.” He scooped her up onto his lap.

Emma looked around, playing with the bobbles on Hidgens sweater. “Really? Where?”

Hidgens patted Emma’s heart, looking to her. “You, Emma.”

Overwhelmed, Emma burst into tears, hugging hidgens tight to her and he, obviously, hugged back.

“I love you daddy.”

“I love you too sweetheart.”

Hidgens and Emma shared a massive Christmas meal, turkey, gammon, beef, yourkshire puddings, potatoes, stuffing, vegetables, everything needed. Emma somehow won all but one of the Christmas crackers, making a tower of brightly coloured paper crowns, not getting any of the jokes or why they were funny (which to be fair, a lot of them weren’t) but laughing when Hidgens told them. 

They ate till they were bursting; sharing Hidgens posh chocolates, Hidgens letting her take a bite out of his mince pie but Emma decided to stick to the Christmas cookies instead. He did find Emma’s face as she chewed hilarious, trying very hard not to insult Hidgens taste.

They danced for an hour straight to Christmas music. The new hit that year ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ was their favourite. They pointed at each other, started by Emma, when singing the word ‘you’, every single time. Dancing was amazing fun to Emma, and Hidgens liked that she shared his passion for it. He helped her with steps by placing her on his feet, holding her hands and moving like that. Then when their height difference got too much for the dance, Hidgens lifted her legs around his hip one arm sticking out and holding hands as they danced, swaying her about, pulling their arms in and out. Emma especially loved the bit where he leaned her down dipping her down then back. She threw her head back laughing at that bit, she felt just like a proper dancer, like the reindeer!

And until late into the night, together they played a few of Emma’s games she’d gotten, as well as specific Christmas games, that they made work just between the two of them. Because that’s all they needed, that was their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m gonna take a break from the more frequent uploads now. I’ll be uploading one shots and chapters for my other series in between chapters for this and be uploading back to my normal frequency but this is still coming out don’t worry! I can’t believe I managed to get it all out in time for Christmas ahaha
> 
> Merry Christmas to y’all who celebrate it!


	16. New School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma is a bit hesitant about joining a new school, but Hidgens is there to give her that final push

The school term was starting back up and Hidgens was struggling slightly with Emma.

He’d transferred her to Sycamore Junior, finishing the paperwork just before Christmas and today was going to be her first day. He couldn’t risk her bumping into Jane or her biological parents, nor did he want her interacting with the bullies she’d mentioned at her previous school. This should be a good change.

But Emma was slightly less thrilled at the idea. Hidgens was 99% sure she’d hidden her shoes that Monday morning, instead of simply not being able to find them like she’d told him. There was no natural reason for her to have placed them in the drawer of a shelf in the hallway he barely ever used, the fact it was shut tight rather than slightly open was the giveaway. He didn’t accuse her of anything though, he didn’t even mention it. Just walked over to Emma and tied her shoes for her. The added fact she’d been silent for the first time that morning when he came in with her shoes sealed the theory for Hidgens. But of course, he wouldn’t yell at her for such a thing. She was just nervous.

When they finally got up to the gates, Emma point blank would not let go of Hidgens at all. He walked with her to her classroom chatting to the headmistress, and occasionally, so as not to be rude to the lady, would just look down to make sure Emma was coping. She was looking at the pictures lining the hall with wide, scared eyes, he wasn’t sure why, they all seemed like normal children’s drawings. Emma was just wondering how many kids were gonna be in her new class.

Eventually they got to the classroom and an older looking teacher walked out, she was very grandmotherly and sweet it seemed. She tried hard to bend down and cooed at Emma affectionately. “Hello Emma, I’m Mrs. McCree, I’m going to make sure you have a wonderful first day here! Okay?” She smiled down at her.

Emma just tucked her head into Hidgens hand more, hiding her eyes by nuzzling into his palm. She felt Hidgens other hand softly smooth over the top of her head and Emma began to sigh, relaxing slightly under his touch. He was still here. He hadn’t left her yet.

“She’s just a bit nervous, she’s normally not very shy.” Emma heard Hidgens laugh above her. So she pulled on Hidgens trousers and made him come down to eye level. And when he did, she cupped her mouth and leaned into his ear “I am _not_ scared Hidgens!”

Hidgens wanted to stand back up, a bit taken aback. But he leaned in closer and very carefully nudged her side with his elbow. “I know that dear, we just can’t let them think you’re any less strong than you are. They know everyone’s a bit more timid on their first day!” He hoped his crooning worked.

Emma didn’t seem to care that the teachers were waiting. She leaned in to whisper to Hidgens again, to ask “What does timid mean? And were you it when you started school dad?”

Hidgens managed to hide his laughter at her cuteness with a smile instead. “It means meek.” He raised his hand to draw his fingers through her hair, making it all neat. “And yes, I definitely was. Everyone is darling.”

Emma nodded, from Hidgens point of view she seemed to be more accepting towards the idea. Then she whispered back “What’s meek mean?”

Laughing softly, Hidgens used his thumb to wipe away a piece of fluff from her lip that was dangling from his- now their- scarf. “Nervous and quiet.”

Emma nodded her head. She was determined to be big and make Hidgens proud today. So she looked up to Mrs. McCree and tried her best to give her a smile, she couldn’t look in her eyes when she was doing it though.

But that seemed good enough for all the adults standing around Emma. “Are you ready to go in?” McCree asked, holding her hand out for her new six year old student. Emma nodded fiercely. “Yeah, I’m gonna be the smartest in the class. I’m smart like my dad, I even know what timid means! Do you wanna hear?” She started off and Hidgens smiled, his heart racing, as he watched his Emma start to walk away.

But then when Hidgens went to walk away it was a different story. Emma grabbed onto his arm as it swung back in his walk and her teacher tried to take her hand to gently pull her away. Not a good idea. Emma screamed “No!” shrilly And at the intensity of her shriek the teacher let her hand go. Hidgens panickedly threw his arms up in the air and exclaimed “Ah! She doesn’t really like strangers touching her!” before moving his arms back down to hold Emma in them, swaying slightly as he held Emma to his legs. He tried hard to calm her because he was scared she was about to cry. Little whimpers were escaping her mouth but he couldn’t see her eyes as they were buried into the side of his leg. 

“Why can’t you just teach me Hidgens? You’re a teacher!” Emma asked confused, and it near broke Hidgens heart. He didn’t want her to feel like he was pawning her off for someone else to take responsibility for. So he tried to let her know as much as possible. “Oh darling, you know I have work most weekdays. Besides, it’ll be much better for you to be taught by teachers trained for your age. I’m only really good at science and music and that’s at a level for adults, it’ll be much more beneficial for you to be taught here and be more social and I just want what’s best for you dear.”

Emma liked that Hidgens didn’t lie to her. He didn’t treat her like she was exceptionally stupid either. Even though that sometimes meant she had little to no idea what he was on about, she knew she could ask and she’d get even smarter, he didn’t think she was stupid when she asked questions. But Emma still gripped onto Hidgens tight, even if he couldn’t teach her, did he really _have_ to leave? Couldn’t they make an exception??

Hidgens knew Emma still wasn’t totally convinced, but she needed to do this, she needed to try just for today. “I’ll be here very soon.” He promised, only for Emma to look up at him and ask distressfully “_When?.._”

So, thinking on his feet, Hidgens knelt down to her height, and started to unbuckle his watch. Once it was off, he gently offered his palm out for Emma, and trustingly she gave him her hand. Turning it over, he placed the watch around her wrist, and putting it in the tightest hole, he knew even if it dangled all over her wrist it wouldn’t fall off her hand. And then, he got out a marker pen, and deflied the face of the watch by drawing two lines on it, equalling 3:00. He smiled to her gently. “Now when the hands look like that I’ll be waiting outside, here for you, okay?”

When it looked like Emma was calm, and ready to make that next step in life. He squeezed her middle with one last hug for the day, closing his eyes, happy for her, for them. “I love you.” He made sure to tell her.

“I love you too dad.” Emma, taking advantage of Hidgens kneeled position, pressed her lips to his cheek for a kiss and pulling back with an adoring smile, Hidgens kissed her small cheek back.

He watched as she waved timidly, fingers to palm, before following the teacher to the door.

“I’m not bad, sorry for shouting.” Emma told the older woman, finally seeming more calm, or at least resigned to her fate. 

Hidgens was very glad when her teacher didn’t seem to hold anything against her on Emma’s first day. “Oh I know you’re not dear, that’s quite alright, thank for you saying sorry. Did I pull you hard at all?”

Emma shook her head as McCree opened the classroom door. “No you didn’t hurt me.”

“Oh good. Now why don’t you find a seat an-“

The door shut and Hidgens was left without Emma in his sight, for really, except when she was asleep, the first time since he’d gotten those adoption papers signed. But he kept on a brave face of his own as the headmistress lead him out.

Hidgens didn’t even realise till he had no one to hold onto that the separation might not only be hard for just Emma.

He’d parked up outside the school at 2:37, just in case. Maybe there could be traffic or Emma would be let out early? In any case, he was inside the gates waiting with the other early parents by 2:41.

Hidgens watched the rush of kids swarm out at 3:00 on the dot, and kept an eye out for Emma. He saw her near the front of the eager children, but she hadn’t seen him yet, she wasn’t looking up. Instead, Hidgens watched as she focused intensely on his watch, still loosely attached to her wrist, before squeezing her eyes shut hard. When she opened her eyes he made sure the first thing she saw was him, by taking a step forward and waving their wave.

Emma ran out the doorway, with a shit eating grin on her face, and into his arms, Hidgens picking her up to spin her around and hug her. She smushed her cheek against his, closing her eyes happily. He really was here, just like he promised. She was really a bit silly for thinking otherwise.

“Hello Emma dear!” Hidgens cooed cheerfully, putting her down and taking up her hand to start walking to the car with her. “How was school darling?”

“Great!” Emma bounced up, looking to Hidgens with excitement in her big brown eyes. “I made a new friend at recess! All the girls already had friends-“ she ranted “but I don’t need girls! But the teacher asked someone to look after me today and on the playground he showed me his game called magic the gathering!”

Hidgens almost walked into a lamppost he was so busy smiling down at his kid. He was just so happy she was happy. “That’s lovely dear! You’re making friends already. What’s hi-“

Emma interrupted. Squeezing Hidgens hand as she remembered something, gesturing the scene with her other hand. “And then I got paint on him in art because I was pranking, but I don’t think he liked it and I think he was a bit upset but I promise I said sorry immediately!” 

Hidgens was already proud and now he was proud of this big word as well as her manners and how open she was! He just radiated pride for her!

“I said I was just trying to have fun and he can paint me back if he wants.” Emma continued, remembering how bad she felt when she thought her new possible friend might possibly cry instead of laughing with her. “Then the art teacher got mad and he asked what was going on, but he said he spilled paint on himself so I wouldn’t get into trouble!”

Hidgens chuckled as Emma finished recounting her story. “How lovely dear. What’s his name?”

“Paul.”

Hidgens opened the car door for her, nodding and asking her more questions about her day. It seemed she’d made at least one friend and excelled in their music class. Nothing less than he expected of his little protégé! Not that Emma needed to live up to any particular standards for him to be proud of her!

As Hidgens helped strap Emma in to the booster seat, even though both knew the help wasn’t really needed, just appreciated, Emma spoke up before Hidgens could move away to the front. “I like having you pick me up every day. I didn’t like walking home without Jane, it was scary.”

Hidgens heart faltered as it always did when it got to more serious topics around Emma. He cared about this kid so goddamn much, he just wanted her to forget all of her past, but in a healthy therapeutic way of course. Although if there was a way to go back in time there was no doubt in his mind he’d figure it out and go adopt Emma right from the day of her birth. Truth be told, he had imagined it. The few baby and toddler pictures he’d seen of Emma, he visualised what it would have been like if he’d raised her. Every Christmas would have been amazing for her. There wouldn’t be a single scar on her body. He wondered how different she may or may not be... But he wouldn’t ask for anything to change about this amazing child.

Hidgens took up her smaller hand and gave it a squeeze with both of his own, before bringing it up to give a quick kiss. “Well I promise, you’ll never have to walk home again.”

Emma seemed pleased with that, watching Hidgens as he closed her door, and following him through the windows till he got in his seat and strapped himself in. She kicked her legs jovially while humming as he started the engine up, looking out the window for their journey.

“I promise you Emma, you won’t have to do anything scary without me right by your side.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told ya bb Paul would be in it! This is only a mention but I have a few lil ideas for Paul to come popping in, well, now they’re both at the same school, which I love that canonically from the convo in Tgwdlm and this fic makes sense naturally haha
> 
> Anyway sorry this was a lil short but yay new chapter of the year! I hope you enjoyed and as always please please leave any and all comments! Your support really helps 💕


	17. Just More Domestic Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a lot more domestic fluff aha. Have so many small fluff ideas it’s probably better to have a few in one for a few chapters scattered about. Except this one needed to be posted before any others bc I have an order and certain scenes wouldn’t make as much sense haha

“Emma? Dinner!” Hidgens called out, his eyes still set on sprinkling the Parmesan over the meal. It was so quiet he thought he may have to wake her from a nap. So Henry put the cheese down and walked away from the counter to the door of the kitchen, now really listening out intently for any sign she was coming downstairs or even snoring. He still didn’t hear anything until his own shout of shock, as arms wrapped around his neck and squeezed. But then he felt they were tiny arms, and a tiny body was attached to them, clinging onto his back.

“Sneak attack!” Emma yelled, trying desperately not to fall off now she’d succeeded. There was a shit eating grin on her face, that’s Hidgens couldn’t see as even when he tried to turn his head to catch a glimpse, Emma would giggle and hide her head on his opposite shoulder or into the nape of his neck. This was a game and she was winning.

Hidgens didn’t mind the slight neck pain, or how his heart still had to settle from the fright. He was glad Emma could be a child, could be herself, and not be scared of being screamed at. Of course, Hidgens didn’t think he’d ever had to tell his Emma off yet. She was just so perfect. Every mistake he looked past and excused for her. That and he didn’t have the heart to yell at her.

Instead Hidgens just had to focus on not swearing in front of her, something that was not easy when Emma kept making him jump like that. Even accidentally, she walked like a cat, she was silent. He’d sometimes turn around at midnight from looking in the fridge and see Emma standing right behind him, silently looking up at him in her pyjamas, when he’d seen her asleep hours ago. God he didn’t know how she wasn’t so foulmouthed with the amount of near misses he had.

Hidgens just smiled to himself, since he couldn’t smile to his Emma, hooking his arms under her legs. “Hello Emma dear, are you ready for dinner?”

“No not yet! I want a piggyback!” Emma demanded, quickly followed by a teasingly whining “pleasssse!”

“Your dinner will get cold.”

“Piggyback!” Emma pointed ahead of Hidgens view. “Charge!”

So Hidgens charged. He gave her a piggyback, riding around the kitchen and galloping and spinning with her, with Emma absolutely losing it behind him.

He was just glad she had a stomach of steel, and could still eat up her healthy balanced meal. Hidgens himself felt just a little queasy after all that. Emma was begging for another ride after eating, thinking he must be feeling the same high as her. So, placating her with a brownie for her to get through while his own body rested, he had a bit of time before he played with her again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hidgens had taken Emma to the park, like he did every Friday after school, and Emma seemed to be enjoying herself. He was just slightly worried that she never seemed to want to play with the other kids, but he supposed exploring by herself or getting him to play along with her was what made her happy, so he wouldn’t push that.

They were both walking back together now, with Emma falling slightly behind to examine new things that crossed her path, and Hidgens looking back every few seconds to make sure she was still following, the other allotted time looking forward to make sure he didn’t bump into anything. 

“Doggy!” He faintly heard Emma saying. Although he just thought she was pointing it out, which is why he didn’t look back, because he didn’t know she was going to attempt to pet it.

He jumped and looked back when he heard deep barking, the next thing being Emma’s high scream.

Emma had gone to pet the doggy, it was just so cute! But when she tenderly put her hand out to stroke it’s head it jumped off its hind legs and lunged at the small girl. It’s teeth got right in her face, only held back by it’s leash, and barked loudly in her ears. Emma fell backwards, scraping her hands on the concrete. Immediately all she wanted was Hidgens. 

She called out for him, bursting into tears, too scared to do much and Hidgens immediately went for her. Emma grasped her hands out and made fists, like a baby grabbing for it’s guardian and Emma felt like a big baby now. 

Hidgens picked her up quickly and glared at the owners of the big German Shepard, who seemed to think it was his Emma’s fault for trying to stroke their dog without permission. 

She was only a child! 

He stuffed her into his chest and pulled her away from the scene, one hand rubbing up her back as Emma cried into Hidgens neck, shook up.

She had only wanted to give affection! 

Hidgens was feeling extremely over protective, he found a nice spot of grass, under the shade and isolated, since the people staring at Emma crying only seemed to make her worse and he wanted to snap at every single one of them. He wanted to tuck Emma under his coat so no one could look at her and swaddle her so she’d know just how safe she was with him, even though he knew it was only natural to look to the sounds of a crying child, a bit like he’d done when first meeting Emma. 

He sat her down on his lap, and took a look at her hands. She had a few scrapes on it, some tarmac pieces stuck to the tiny droplets of blood, a bit of shed skin, but it was a very basic and light wound. “Oh don’t you worry Emma. Nothing to cry about, I’ll have this fixed in no time, don’t you worry.” Hidgens smiled to her, getting out the mini first aid kit he took everywhere with him since frequently meeting Emma.

Emma shook her head, fat tears falling onto her shirt. “I-It doesn’t hurt too bad Dad.” She hiccupped, resting her head against his chest and trying to take deep breaths. “It just... it was the dog...”

Hidgens nodded, getting out some rubbing alcohol wipes. “Ah, more the shock, eh kiddo?”

Emma nodded pitifully. “Yuh-huh.” At least from Hidgens calm demeanour she knew it wasn’t all too bad.

Hidgens grimaced in preparation. “Now, Emma dear, I need to clean your hands, this might sting just a little bit but it’ll make you feel so much better in the long run.” 

Emma flinched her hands away, looking up to Hidgens with big, red eyes and a pouty bottom lip. “You promise?”

Hidgens kissed her temple, looking down certainly “I promise. The sooner we get it over and done with the sooner you’ll feel better.”

Emma liked that he said ‘we’. They were in it together. Like a team. He wouldn’t leave her, he’d be there for her, like a proper dad. 

“Okay. You’re the science teacher.” Emma let in, Hidgens fondly dabbing at her right hand first. Emma hissed at the first contact, but she was determined to be brave. She hid her face into Hidgens shirt, ending up biting into it to try and clamp her lips shut, but as long as she wasn’t actually biting Hidgens as he tried to clean her up, he didn’t really mind.

Now Emma didn’t really need any plasters, she wasn’t bleeding too much anymore and it would probably be a waste. But Hidgens could buy bandaids any time he wanted. Emma clearly struggled looking at her ruined hands so Hidgens covered up the wounds for her to give her that peace of mind.

“I promise, all dogs aren’t that scary.” Hidgens said softly as he applied the bandaid. Emma was hiding her face under Hidgens arm now, when she nestled near his armpit it was actually quite ticklish for Hidgens, but he tried to hold still as long as possible, and not laugh to give her the wrong idea.

Then once he’d applied both plasters and Emma still seemed upset, Hidgens tried joking “Do you want me to kiss it better?”

Only for Emma to look up with wide eyes. “Will that work?” She asked.

Hidgens heart melted as it always did around his Emma, nodding his head assuredly. “Cross my heart.” He made the gesture with his hand across his chest too. Then be leant down to give both hands a little peck and finally, Emma managed to smile through her tears. “It’s feeling better already.” She reported to about the only person who’d ever actually cared enough if she was in pain, or scared.

Hidgens fondly decided he’d teach her about placebos when she was older.

They walked home, Emma just wanting to get back with Hidgens, behind those walls, where she was safe, where it was just her and her dad. Her hands were still not feeling great, stinging a bit, but wanting to hold her dad’s hand desperately, she gripped her fingers around his thumb, clinging on.

~~~~~~~~~~

Emma had had a hard time falling asleep tonight. On some nights when her nightmares got bad, she just refused to sleep in her bed the next night, as if that was the problem and not her despicable past and internal trauma she still soldiered on through. 

So getting into their little routine for their bad nights, Emma was sprawled all over Hidgens as he sat in his armchair in the library, glasses on, as he read out loud whatever book he was reading at the time. This one was actually a non-fiction book about some of the few dangerous plants in the US, he was re-learning a few key facts for tomorrows lecture when Emma ran downstairs in her pjs to find him, not liking that he’d put her to bed less than five minutes ago and now already scared and lonely. 

So Hidgens read the boring facts out and Emma didn’t listen to the words, instead just her fathers voice as his deep but not scary tone washed over her. 

He ran a hand up and down her back, Emma’s limbs tussled in any way that could seem to not feel weird, and Hidgens other hand turning the pages of the book that lay on the arm of the chair, Hidgens near entire body taken up by his daughter instead.

Hidgens lowered his voice to a whisper until he stopped talking altogether about 15 minutes in. He started to close the book, leaning down slowly to peer at Emma’s face to see if she was finally resting, when her hands sleepily patted his chest and a moan of “Keep going” escaped her worn out body. 

Hidgens obliged, but when an hour in, with Emma tired as hell but still not able to fall asleep, Hidgens gave in and sent her off upstairs to let her sleep in his bed again, kissing her goodnight downstairs this time, since he’d already done all that routine and Emma clearly just needed to crash. 

When he went to bed a few hours later, she was dead asleep under his covers, taking up the entire space, but he couldn’t bear to move her to her own bed. So he very slyly found the best position that had the least of Emma’s sleeping form covering it, which meant spreading his body across the pillows at the head of the bed, until Emma rolled to her side and he could properly lie down. Although he did shuffle in closer when she subconsciously wriggled to him, to lay an arm around her, going to sleep with her finally feeling safe for the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hidgens was in the newly designed play room with Emma, what used to be just another living room and was now a bright place of joy. And right now he was watching Emma give him a performance she’d been practicing all day for, with the child’s microphone she got for Christmas, and her multiple rows of stuffed toys, action figures, dolls and the like watching, with Hidgens as the special guest, cross legged in the front row centre.

He was giving a bright smile throughout her whole song she’d written all by herself, using some of his composing paper to scribble down the lyrics, through which he could see all the lines and crosses but was written upon it Hidgens presumed her first piece of creative work she’d ever actually gotten positive feedback for, although he supposed he might not be giving her sister enough credit either, the way Emma spoke of her.

Hidgens applauded ferociously, smiling as Emma bowed to her audience, but still gripping the green microphone tightly in her hands, dipping her reddening face.

But Emma didn’t even have to ask ‘did you like it dad?’ Hidgens was already jumping to praise her.

“Oh Emma dear that was absolutely splendid! You have such an amazing voice darling!! You know, I’m so proud of you?”

Emma was so excited Hidgens even wanted to listen to her sing, this was just incredible! She was jumping up and down as Hidgens continued singing his praises to her.

Hidgens clapped once again, just bursting with joy for her, at how excited she was. “I’m just thrown away by your talent Emma. You should join the choir at your school!” He complimented, he just knew she’d get a solo.

Instead, Emma’s face dropped. “You want me to stay away?”

“No!”

Emma felt like she was going to cry. Throw her head back and wail right there on the floor.

Hidgens rushed towards her on his knees, taking her hands up in his own, just before Emma dropped the microphone from being so disheartened. He remembered that’s the reason Emma last joined a choir, to stay away from her parents longer, thinking they’d want her away just as much. He didn’t manage to grab one of her hands as it shot up to rub at her eyes, trying to make sure she wouldn’t accidentally cry.

Hidgens looked up to her nervously, squeezing her hand in his own. Oh shit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean _that_ my love. I just meant I think you could be the star of a show, you have the talent to join an extracurricular like that and excel in it!” He praised, this was an unusual angle, having Emma taller than him, but it worked well since as she hung her head he could still see her face and judge her feelings. “But if I could spend every second of my day by your side do you know I would?”

Now Emma let her hair fall back behind her ears, bringing Hidgens hand he was still holding up and using it to tuck her hair back. “You would?” Now she used his hand to wipe away the tears that weren’t falling but just resting at her eyes, nuzzling her face into his hand and protecting herself aorund his warmth, his smell, his touch.

“I would.”

In the end, the following day whilst picking up Emma from school, Hidgens went to the office and got a list of their clubs. He had found that choir did lunchtime meetings as well as afternoon ones and Emma excitedly jumped on that opportunity when she learnt of it.

Hidgens was nervous and excited picking her up her first day of her club. He had hoped she had gotten a chance to prove to her teacher her skills, that she wasn’t too scared to show them, nor that the other kids were too harsh on the talented newbie. But Emma came out at 3, like always, and now bouncing.

“Choir was good dad!” Emma said before Hidgens could even ask, getting into the booster seat as Hidgens buckled her in.

“Paul wouldn’t go with me even though I asked loads and loads and loads of times! But I still had fun! Paul’s still my best friend obviously and I had to tell him that in second play because he asked me, like, he worries more than you do dad!” Emma ranted on. 

Hidgens thought as he started to drive off, he wanted to meet this best (and seemingly only) friend of Emma’s one day, he even felt like he should thank the young child, which was preposterous. They were just kids having fun and bonding naturally. He still felt relieved knowing there was at least one other person, someone less capable than himself but more in Emma’s peer group, that was looking out for her. “Oh well I’m glad it went so well my love. Do you think you could make new friends in choir? It is nice to expand your reaches a bit.” He lightly prodded, really okay with any answer his daughter gave.

Emma just laughed from her back seat. “Why would I? I have you and Jane, well, whenever I see her, and now I have Paul! I don’t need anyone else!”

Hidgens smiled to the mirror at her, not answering that she didn’t really have her sister anymore, they still hadn’t had that conversation. But he supposed if her little group was what made his Emma comfortable, then he wouldn’t take her out of that zone. It wasn’t like he was exactly the most social man himself anyway.

“Hidgens...” Emma whispered, giggling into her hands.

“Yes?” Hidgens whsipered back, smiling into the mirror more playfully this time.

Emma giggled once more before revealing her little secret. “Our music teacher, Miss Appledee, said that she thinks that if I keep coming to rehearsals I’m good enough that I could be the lead in our choir service this term!” She gave a small squeal, covering her mouth again. Her teacher had told her not to tell the other kids, that it was only her opinion from one solo, but she just had to tell her dad so he could be proud of her!

And Hidgens revelled in how proud he was the rest of the night, in his joyous praise in the car, the treat he let her pick out on the way home, and secretly starting on a duet he was composing for the two of them, complimenting their vocal ranges perfectly.

Oh yes. After everything she went through, Hidgens was constantly and never-endingly proud, of his Emma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next thing I posted wasn’t supposed to be another chapter for this series but fuck it, I hit a wall and i wanted to write this
> 
> Also I just realised while going over ideas for this series I have like... my own hidgens irl rn??? Not totally the same in many places but the dad aspects are like wow, here I am wishing for a hidgens and missing the sorta dad figure in front of me lmaooo. It hit today when I was talking abt a person I had a kissing habit with in drama and the person across from me nodded and immediately went ‘yeah name’ and I responded without thinking ‘EW NO HES LIKE MY DAD’ *internally*ohhhhh (later today) *him getting me to do stuff I don’t really want to to look after myself* ‘it’s only because I care about you!’ *internally*ohhhhhx2. Me looking back at all the stuff he and his gf have done for me inc calling us ‘a family’ *Oh dip*. anyway that little note tangent over lmao but noice loving it
> 
> Also sorry for not being as online this week, hard week inc panic attack (cough cough dad friend helping me) friend zoning someone and another someone I need to friend zone if things go any further kissing me AGAIn when I was just trying to reciprocate another cheek kiss etc etc etc and it’s a lot of internal complicated shit
> 
> Anyways! Sorry. Hope you enjoyed!! If so please leave a comment and let me know! Thank for reading sm!!! 💕
> 
> EDIT: just realised we hit 100 comments!!!! WTF?!?!!? THANK YOU SM WTF ❤️


	18. A Good Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens is four minutes late picking Emma up for school which he worries is going to be a lot more disastrous than it is, especially when Emma has company whilst waiting..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but content™️ (I hope)

“Come on!” Hidgens growled through his teeth, honking his horn just once. He usually wasn’t an angry driver but the traffic had been a nightmare this afternoon and he was going to be late to pick up Emma! He should already have been there, he was always early, he was never late for Emma! Oh he hoped she wasn’t too upset.

By 3:04 Hidgens had finally parked and now he sprinted to the school gates to collect his kid.

Emma, on the other hand, was not panicking at all. It was only a couple of minutes and she trusted that Hidgens would be right around the corner. And there he was! 

She poked Paul’s shoulder to get him to look where she was pointing. “Look! That’s my dad! He’s a scientist.” She said excitedly, almost bragging, not that out of all the kids in her school, she needed to brag to Paul. He was her only friend.

Paul rubbed his shoulder, trying to be subtle to not make Emma think she’d poked him too hard again, before looking over to where Emma was pointing. Then he saw the tall man. “Oh cool... he’s not like, an evil scientist is he?” Paul just quickly made sure.

Emma just laughed. “No Paul! He’s my dad!”

They watched as Hidgens finally spotted her, he jogged over and when he was close enough, opened his arms. Emma squealed before running up and having him catch her, spinning her around and round in his arms and Emma giggled.

When Hidgens eventually stopped spinning, he could talk to her. “Hello dear, have a good day?”

“Maths was boring.” Emma stuck her tongue out, surely she’d never need to use taking away in real life. She hoped. 

Hidgens tucked down hair behind her ear that fell out from the spin as he ‘aw’ed. “Well you need a bit of maths if you wanna be a scientist-“ _like she’d told him she wanted to be_ “-when you’re older.”

That’s when Hidgens looked down and noticed the small boy who’d been seemingly looking up at him and his daughter for the whole time now. Emma looked down now with a toothy grin. “Hello young man.” He smiled down at him first. There was only one deduction. “Emma is this your friend Paul?”

Paul looked nervous at first, Emma, in contrast was speaking quite loudly and energetically. “Yeah!” Emma laid her head against her dads shoulder sweetly. “You remembered.”

“Hello sir, I’m Paul.” Paul told him politely, seeming to gain more confidence the more Emma’s dad seemed to smile at him.

“Ah yes, Emma’s told me all about you!” He began only to be cut off by Emma’s head being nudged against his shoulder repeatedly. “Hidgens...” she mumbled, slightly embarrassed, along with other mumbles he couldn’t hear properly. He apologised quietly to her.

Then with those few seconds of silence, Hidgens looked around the sea of adults before leaning slightly down to Paul, with Emma still attached to his hip. “Are your parents coming soon kiddo?” He asked, slightly and unnecessarily worried for the lad. 

“Oh they’re waiting over there.” Paul pointed a ways behind the three and with Hidgens following the point he saw a nice couple waving at Paul. He waved back before turning back to Emma’s dad. ”I was just waiting with Emma till you came.” He told him.

Emma smiled down at him but Hidgens smile was much more genuine. “Well... thank you very much Paul! That’s very considerate of you.” His heart could almost burst!

Paul just gave a little chuckle. “Okay bye. See you tomorrow Emma!” He waved at her, still looking back as he ran off into his mum’s arms.

“See you at morning time!” Emma called, waving fingers to palm.

Hidgens turned to her with a big smile on his face, and Emma put her forehead to his, giggling. She liked when he smiled at her.

And Hidgens kept smiling. “Emma I’m so proud of you.” He told her genuinely.

“Why?”

He chuckled, pulling his forehead back to look at her adorably confused expression and sighed. “I just am.”

Emma began blushing badly, trying to hide her face into the crook of Hidgens neck but the heat of her skin only made him know just how pink her face was turning. He could always tell that compliment was one of her all time favourites, and she deserved to hear it.

“So, did you want to go get ice cream at Green House Farm after this?” He asked teasingly, because he already knew what the answer would be, and that it would not match the nonchalantness at which he asked the question.

That was proven right by the gasp and the bouncing in his arms. “Yes please!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BABY PAUL IS FINALLY HERE  
In the flesh  
And you can expect a few more appearances too
> 
> But also real question  
Would people prefer less frequent updates on this but with more one shots and new stories in between, or more of this series and more frequently but less frequent one shots and new stories. I feel like it’s a little bias putting this question here but couldn’t really think of another way to do it, so please lmk
> 
> I know this was short but as always please leave any and all comments, tell em if you like bb Paul and that he’s gonna be in a few more chapters now (although don’t get me wrong this series is still staying extremely Emma and hidgens centred)  
But thank you for reading and I know this was shorter than usual but I still hope you enjoyed!


	19. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a special visitor demanding to get into the Hidgens household

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter in 2 days? What is this December again??!

It was a lovely afternoon and Hidgens had just sat down to play tea party with Emma. He got the best seat of the house, of course, and even though the other guests were all toys, he still felt very important getting that seat, even when they were tiny and very hard to sit on, not that Emma had any trouble in hers. 

“More tea?” She asked Hidgens, lifting her purple teapot up and pouring air into Hidgens little teacup. He took a sip from it, following Emma’s command as she stuck her pinkie out whilst doing it, only to set it down on the saucer when the bell in the playroom rang. His house was quite too large to hear knocking or the doorbell in every room, so every room had a bell connected to the door, and this one was ringing off the charts.

He watched as Emma looked to the bell and then to him, but he quickly smiled and reassured her “Don’t worry, I’ll just let it go.”

He let Emma pass him a plastic cake but the bell kept going, possibly even more frantic. Hidgens never really got visitors, and no door to door salesman or charity worker could possibly want him this badly could they? He stood up and tucked his chair back in. “I’ll just pop down and see who it is.” He told Emma in an almost whisper.

Luckily, she didn’t seem to mind too much, pouring for Ted now, who got the second best guest seat, next to Emma. Warning “Hurry up, or your tea will get cold!”

Hidgens jogged down the stairs, the further he got to the front door the better he heard the commotion. The bell was being pressed non stop and now Hidgens could hear the knocking that was rapid fire against his door. 

Hidgens had no idea who could be at the door, a few faces came to mind but none of them good, so he prepared himself for a physical battle or some bad legal news. But when he swung it open he was just utterly shocked to see who actually was on the other side. 

_“Jane?”_

There stood the eight year old sister of Hidgens daughter, who he of course immediately recognised. He could also recognise she looked completely pissed.

“Where’s my sister?!” She yelled angrily up at Hidgens, her hands in fists at her side. Oh dear. He was an idiot to not think she wouldn’t have asked her parents where her sister was this whole time.

He tried to calm her down like he did Emma when she got upset. He started to bend his knees and lean down, holding his hands out. “Now dear-“

Jane lifted her foot in the air and stomped it onto Hidgens shoe as hard as she could. She was not having it.

Hidgens pulled his foot up into his hands and tried not to curse, inhaling in a hiss, even though she was eight, she was very angry. 

With him distracted, Jane walked straight past him and into his house, immediately calling out “EMMA!!!”

Quickly Hidgens rushed back in, following her. He knew it wouldn’t be loud enough for Emma to hear from up two flights of stairs and all the way down the hall, but he wanted her sister to stop panicking. To quieten down just a bit to listen to him. “Jane ssh, hush dear it’s alright-“

“No it’s not!” Jane interrupted again, backing up from Hidgens when we he took a step towards her, so he stopped. “You’re a kidnapper! You’re a bad man! I’m here to save my little sister!” She yelled distressing herself, moving into the living room to go look for Emma without Hidgens help. Her baby sister who she hadn’t seen or heard from in months. She spent countless nights crying, especially when her mother shouted at her one of the times she asked.

Hidgens should have known that’s what their parents would have told her. That she was kidnapped, not the truth. It still made his hand leap to his chest. “No dear I’m not, I...” He broke off his dialogue to shake his head. How was this happening? “How did you even find this place?” It wasn’t exactly like he’d advertised his whereabouts, also the fact, she was _a child._

Jane huffed. She clearly didn’t want to tell him, but on the other hand, wanted him to know she was capable. Definitely capable enough to save her sister from the likes of him. “I saw Emma with you ages ago and I was quiet because she said you were her friend and you were nice, but you’re not! You’re not because you’ve stolen Emma from me, and our mom and dad! I saw you today so I followed you here! Where’s Emma!?” She asked again, slowly losing patience.

Hidgens was shocked to hear she did see him and Emma at some point, but even more that she kept it a secret. He needed to remember to thank her for that. He was also quite surprised Emma hadn’t mentioned this to him, but as long as she wasn’t just scared of him finding out back then, it didn’t really matter.

But right now his priority was to calm Jane. Before she called and wasted the polices time, or worse... called her parents. So he very happily, but warily, surrendered. “Okay okay I’ll go get Emma! She’s not been kidnapped I’ll prove it.” He started to walk upstairs, letting Jane walk hesitatingly behind him so she didn’t feel trapped or scared. He wanted desperately to find a way for Emma to be able to see her sister again, he guessed this was as good timing as any, with her sister seeking her out. He placed his hand on the playroom door before turning to Jane. She looked up impatiently, crossing her arms and Hidgens just had to remind her again “Your sister is absolutely fine.” Before turning the handle and opening the door. 

“Emma!” He called out to her, opening the door wide when both sisters laid eyes on each other.

“EMMA!”  
“JANE!”

Jane ran right past Hidgens and Emma leaped out of her seat shocked. They ran right into each other’s arms, Emma squealing in delight at seeing her sister again, not quite realising the situation just yet. Jane on the other hand, was holding Emma tight to her. Even before Emma was done hugging, Jane shot her head up to Hidgens and glared. Then she started to back away, with Emma still in her arms. 

Emma was so busy hugging her sister she didn’t realise when Jane was starting to pull her away, until she almost tripped on her sisters feet. Looking up she heard her sister tell her in her confident big sister voice “Come on Emma, we have to go home!” And Emma’s heart filled with horror.

“Erm, Jane dear-?” Hidgens started, not liking the absolute terror clearly written on his Emma’s face. 

Emma was starting to panic. She couldn’t go back there! It’d be even worse now! She wanted to stay with Hidgens! “No!!” She pulled at Jane’s hand and Jane let go easily, because she wasn’t their parents. She watched as Emma ran to Hidgens and held onto his legs, and as she accepted Hidgens hold back. Jane didn’t understand...

Emma spoke up, making sure Hidgens kept a hold of her, but taking a step towards the only person in her family who’d ever liked her. “That’s not my home anymore Jane!”

Emma tried to read her sisters expression, but it was hard. She reached back for Hidgens hand to hold, and to show Jane how good he was! If she didn’t know... then she had to tell her herself. “Hidgens adopted me.” 

Judging by the loook of confusion on Jane’s face, she knew she had no idea about that. Didn’t their parents tell Jane what happened to her? Did they just forget about her?

Hidgens patted Emma’s shoulder, letting her know he was going to let go now. So when Emma reluctantly allowed him, he squatted down in between the two sisters, and spoke to Jane now. Who was looking more confused, but less like she was going to try her best to beat Hidgens up.

Hidgens did his best to explain in a way that wouldn’t too upset the young children that while her parents were, yes, nice to her they were horrendously bad to Emma. That that wasn’t right. That Emma hadn’t been kidnapped, their parents had lied to her. Importantly, that Emma was taken away because they weren’t deserving of her. And that they knew all of this.

When Hidgens had finished Jane turned to her baby sister, who she’d clearly failed to protect, with tears in her eyes. “A-Are you still hurt now?” She asked guiltily, trying not to cry in front of Emma, to be good and strong.

But seeing her big sister cry made Emma start to tear up. She hiccuped as she walked closer, taking her sisters hand in hers and placing it over her heart. “Only here now.”

Jane nodded, sniffling as she was finally piecing everything together. She didn’t know just how badly Emma was being punished by their mom and dad. She didn’t know how wrong they were when it came to her little sister... “But you’re happy here?” She had to make sure.

Emma nodded very hard and fast, very sure. But the nodding was also to cover up the tears that were about to spill. “I miss you though...”

Even though she knew not to be selfish, that this was the best place for Emma, she wanted it to be like the old days where she could see her sister every day. But her parents had ruined that for them. “I miss you too!” Jane would forever miss her.

Both girls broke at that point, and they quickly pulled each other into a hug, holding the other like loving sisters should be able too. And neither wanted to let go.

Of course, Hidgens had never planned on separating the two of them. Not since the day he knew for sure he was adopting Emma. 

Not wanting to ruin the moment, but seeing them pull away and finding an opportunity, Hidgens knelt down, he was towering over Emma still but just under Jane’s eyebrows, and placed one hand comfortingly on Emma’s shoulder, and the other lightly on Jane’s. But Jane sniffed and looked up to him. Now she knew he was Emma’s new dad and not a kidnapper, her mindset on him had changed fast, and she nearly bowled Emma over to hug this tall man. 

Hidgens was astonished, looking to Emma who was just beaming, crying happily now it seemed. So he placed his hand on the back of Jane’s head, and ran it down her hair just like he did her sisters to calm her. And when Jane pulled back, he understood what the hug was for. “Thank you for looking after my sister. For the past and the future.” 

It took him only a moment with her wording but he couldn’t help but smile sweetly at this polite little girl. He knew, for Emma, and for general moral reasonings, he wouldn’t let anything happen to Jane either. But he did now place both hands on her shoulders and move till he was at her eye level. Because this was crucial. “Now Jane, I want you to listen to me very carefully alright?” He asked and she simply nodded, following orders.

Hidgens started off with the good news first. “You can visit your sister whenever you want! That’s absolutely fine. If you call this number here-“ he handed her a slip of paper with his number scrawled down on it- “we’ll arrange something but- and now this is very important dear-“ he gave one small squeeze of her shoulders, not breaking eye contact by even blinking now. “Do not let your mother and **especially** your father, know this address.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BABY JANE! Adding all the bbs aha. There’s probably not going to be much more baby Jane written, but canonically don’t worry there’s a lot more sisterly love for Emma now!
> 
> Guys as always please please leave any and all comments you have as they really hlep me with my motivation to write this series and let me know what y’all think!  
Thank you for reading as always!


	20. I Won’t Let Him Hurt Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul is a good friend and Hidgens is still a good dad, this is especially shown when bad stuff happens to Emma...

At the start of the week Hidgens had delivered the news to Emma. He’d fed her a big brownie they’d made together, his grandmothers recipe of course, and was about to sit down with her to watch some television, but before spoke up. “Now dear. On Thursday I have a big test for my students Emma.” 

Emma sat on her favourite spot on the rug, right in front of the tv, as she turned over to Hidgens. “Ohhh. How’s writing the test going dad?”

For a moment, Hidgens was caught up in a bundle of words and bashful scoffing, she was just so thoughtful. But now was the time to give her a small reveal, not to get easily flattered and swayed. He placed his hands on her shoulders and rubbed his thumbs over them. “It’s a long test. So that means I’m not going to be able to pick you up until 4. So I’ve booked you into the after school club for this one time, I promise this won’t be a regular thing alright?”

Emma had begged and asked why and every few hours she’d suggest a new activity to do, but that they could only do it on Thursday at three. But he told her just how proud he was of her when she accepted she’d have to spend an extra hour away, and that he’d be right back for her.

Emma had been complaining to Paul the day before, and she even accidentally admitted she was scared, she didn’t say what specifically about, because as soon as she mentioned that she moved on to correcting Paul’s spelling for him.

But Thursday morning, Paul surprised Emma by running into class before it started and excitedly telling her “Emma! I asked my mommy and daddy and they said I can go to after school club with you!”

Emma started hugging Paul excitedly around the neck, jumping up and down while squealing. “Yes! Thank you Paul!” Emma told him, pulling back. This was the best surprise, no ‘friends’ had done stuff like this for her before. “Now being at school longer isn’t gonna suck so much!”

When it came to the last lesson Emma had a suggestion for Paul. “We shouldn’t go to after school club!” She whispered to him as the teacher helped another table. Before Paul could ask, the bell rang, and Emma got her backpack, letting Paul pick his up, although not letting him place it on his back, before taking his hand and dragging him outside, just as all the parents were picking their kids up.

She took him behind the the wizard tree, the thick tree with a wizard face on, and told him cheekily “We should just sneak around like spies and explore the school! Instead of being stuck with boring teachers.” She stuck her tongue out at that, and even though Paul didn’t really want to break the rules, Emma explained that kids weren’t forced to go to after school club normally, and that it wasn’t like they were leaving the gates. So Paul nodded along. “Okay Emma! We can be spies.”

They played while the adults filtered away, and they stayed in the hidden section inside the playtubes while the last adults were there, Emma wanted to just in case some adults made them stay inside, because, as Paul had reassured her, it was school! They were safe!

Emma raced Paul across the play field, even though every time Paul won, she kept demanding a rematch immediately after, but she wasn’t tricking Paul with her false starts! She was close to drawing this one since Paul’s shoe had fallen off during the race, when she saw an adult turning the corner. No adults had been around for a while, so she looked over curiously as Paul went to find his shoe, giggling with adrenaline.

Then, Emma knew who the man was on her playground. Who the big man was stomping about and looking around miserably. Emma blindly grabbed Paul and scaredly shoved him behind the sports equipment shed. 

The shed where boyfriends and girlfriends went to kiss. Paul immediately got blushy as he was pulled into the shadows and realised where Emma had taken him. “Uhm Emma....” he got out, pink faced. Only to be hushed quietly.

“Ssh!“ Emma begged Paul. She peeked out, trying to catch a glimpse of her father, who had somehow found her at her new school. He hadn’t spotted her yet. When Paul didn’t get a response from Emma, he peeked out too. But when Emma noticed his head over hers she pushed him back into the shadows. “Quick! He can’t see me!” She whisper hissed, her mind racing out of control.

Paul didn’t understand. Then he thought he did. His mouth gaped open as he looked to Emma and gasped. “Why not? Is he a bad man?!”

Emma bit down on her lip and just nodded, tears brimming in her eyes. Her whole body shook as she nodded heavier now to Paul. “Yeah he’s a bad man... He’s my first dad.” Now she was almost crying, which she’d never done in school. Paul always thought she was so tough so he was utterly shocked. Emma wouldn’t look up at him, she was scared of her dad and scared Paul would think she’s a baby.

Then she felt a hand curling around hers, very soft and very gentle. But still, unlike Jane’s, unlike Hidgens, who were about the only people who’d ever held her hand to comfort her. She looked up through her misty eyes, rubbing with her fists, and saw Paul, holding her hand. 

Emma looked down, back to his hand. 

“I won’t let him hurt us Emma.”

Emma nodded quickly. She noticed he was quite sweaty, because he was nervous too. But she didn’t let go. She was thankful he was just there.

And now she had him behind her. She could focus on surviving. “We need to call Hidgens. He’ll save us.” She told Paul assuredly.

“But how?”

Emma breathed through her mouth as she thought through the plan. “He has a car phone because he has a nice car.”

Paul readjusted his hand to get a firmer grip. “No, well that is good, but I mean the only phone is in the teachers office.”

“Well we’ll have to sneak in!”

“Oh.”

Emma didn’t miss the gulp that came from her friends throat. She squeezed his hand, comforting him now too. “Come on Paul, you’re brave. We can do this.” She promised, even though she didn’t know if she believed herself. But it seemed to be enough as Paul nodded beside her, lowering his voice as he told her “I believe in you Emma.” And although quiet, he wasn’t any less sure of his statement.

Emma poked her head out at intervals until she saw her dad peer his head into one of the hidey holes on the playground. Then, with Paul still holding her hand, she led the run to the teachers lounge window, behind the flower beds. She led it, but Paul got ahead quickly. She was breathing so loudly now, and it wasn’t that she was even out of breath, she was scared Paul was going to run ahead and drop her hand! Maybe even on purpose! But Paul dragged her along and even slowed down at points for her, although he didn’t stay very slow. He knew Emma wanted to run, so he pulled Emma into running faster than she ever thought she could. And within seconds they were under the window, partially hidden by the plants, only if they stayed at the right angle.

Quickly, and with only hand gestures, Paul helped push Emma through the window to the teachers lounge. With the widnow open, they both stuck their noses up at the smoke smell, but quickly discarded that as Emma found the phone, right by the window, so she could keep an eye on Paul below the windowsill. 

Hidgens was in his car, having finished with the students tests, when the phone rung in his car. He worried when he saw the number that he was getting a call from Emma’s school. He only answered with “Is Emma hurt?!”

“Dad?”

Hidgens heart burst. Why would Emma be on the phone if there were adults around. And why was her voice so _small_. “Emma? Emma dear is that you? What are you-?”

“My dad’s here.” Emma cut him off.

Well now Hidgens heart had stopped. “What?”

Emma spoke in a hushed voice. “He’s here! He’s at school and he’s stomping around really scarily, he looks _mad_ dad!”

It only took Hidgens a second to shake his head of his own fears, because the sound of his daughters voice shaking with horror was enough to make him strong. “Emma okay stay right where you are-“ Again he was cut off. He shut up immediately.

“No! I left Paul outside I have to get back to him!”

Hidgens swore away from the receiver before going back to it. “No, Emma dear, go find a teacher and tell them what’s going on, get Paul in another way without you leaving the building or being spotted. I’ll be right there.”

Emma hung up on Hidgens, knowing he was going to be there for her and Paul soon. But that didn’t stop her worrying for now. She peeked her head out of the widnow and talked to Paul like that.

She got distracted though. Her dad wasn’t at the playground any more. She couldn’t see him. 

“Can’t we tell a parent?” Paul pleaded beneath her.

That got her looking back to him. “No!” She hiss whispered, her fingers gripping at the windowsill. “My dad could have tricked them and told them he’s my dad then they’ll make me go back with them!” She explained, but her explanation didn’t seem to make Paul feel any easier. Because now he was groaning on the ground and bouncing on his feet, his fists shaking and bursting with anxiety. So Emma ducked down from the window to go find a mini ladder or something, since she could only get up with Paul’s boost. “Paul! I’ll help you through the window okay!”

She went around, looking for anything to give that boost up, when she realised a chair might work just as well. She went back to the window but ducked down when for that millisecond she saw that second person, her father, getting closer to it.

She squealed at Paul “Run!” But it was too late.

Paul turned around and saw a big man towering over him, and now his whole body was shaking.

Paul thought he might be hurt or taken then and there. But a gruff voice just rumbled from the man, saying one word. “Hey.”

Paul tried to stop his shaking. He looked like a poor lamb beneath the big man shadowing him. Then man he didn’t want to keep waiting. So he came out with the first thing he could think of. “Erm. Hi mister.”

“How old are you?” 

Paul winced as he immediately went onto the next question. His head shot down, not liking the way this adult was glaring at him. “Erm I’m not supposed to ta-“

The laughter from above made Paul’s last word end in a very high pitch. He wanted his parents. The man just chuckled more, but it didn’t sound like a very happy laugh. “It’s an easy question kid, I’m not gonna hurt ya. Well, not unless you don’t answer my questions.” His laugh made both the kids uncomfortable, with Emma behind the wall but Paul right in front of him.

When Paul didn’t answer, the man stared at him. Then Paul rembered he had asked him a question. He guessed this was a stranger he would be talking to. He hoped his mommy wasn’t going to be mad at him. “I’m six.” He unwillingly told him.

The clap from the man above made him feel even worse that he’d answered truthfully.

“Ah! So you’re the same age as my daughter! Do you know her? She’s called Emma Perkins.” Paul was happy he was looking down, because he was sure his throat was gulping and his face was sweating. “She’s smaller than you, brown hair, brown eyes...” The man went on when Paul didn’t answer him.

Paul shook his head hard. “I don’t know anyone in my class called Emma Perkins.” He told him.

Emma’s father clenched his knuckles, making a horrible cracking sound that made Paul whimper, too small for the large man to hear from above, before lowering his gaze down to him. “Emma... Hidgens?”

“No!”

He growled. “You’re lying to me kid.”

“I’m no- ah!”

Paul yelled in fear as the man picked him up by his shirt and lifted him to eye level, the most uncomfortable it could be for Paul. 

Emma could now see Paul, she saw Paul’s head rising above the windowsill. She knew her dad and it was clear he’s drunk. 

Both kids squeaked, only one audible to the the man, as he began yelling. “I’m trying to find my child! Do you want me to tell your parents you’re being a bad boy?!” He yelled and Paul didn’t know what to do. He wanted to cry or shout or plead but he couldn’t. And with Paul’s shock quiet, Emma’s father started to shake him in his hand.

Emma watched Paul’s body being roughed like that from the window. And that’s the second she leapt out. 

“Leave Paul alone!” She screamed. She began hitting her dad’s fists with all her might, she hadn’t physically fought back many times, but she couldn’t bear to see him doing that to someone else. 

With her attacking him and yelling, her father finally saw his daughter for the first time in months. But Emma’s attack wasn’t working. He roughly grabbed her by her wrist, yanking her all the way out of the window he quickly threw her over shoulder. Now both kids were screaming at the top of their lungs, lifted by him and terrified beyond belief. 

“Get your hands off those children!”

That’s when Hidgens showed up.

The mans face moved from anger at the two children, to murder at the man who’d turned up at his house and taken his kid, who thought he was so much better than him.

He dropped Paul. Hidgens didn’t know if he meant to or not, but he didn’t care.

Paul ran behind Hidgens legs, who opened his arms in the final stretch to make sure he was safe, Paul clinging to Hidgens hip. 

Only keeping his head out to watch Emma, terrified, just like Hidgens was doing.

But he didn’t drop Emma.

Emma cried out “Dad!” Only for the man holding her to yell right near her ear “Shut up!” But everyone except her father knew she was crying for Hidgens, rather than to him, even the six year olds.

And now Hidgens spoke to her birth father. More angry than he’d ever been, but his voice void of that anger, and instead extremely eloquent. “Let my child go.”

Emma felt her father breathing heavily beneath her, her whole body fell and rose as his shoulders did with his breath. And he did just stay there breathing for a second. Hidgens thought he knew he was conrered. But he didn’t know what he would do when he felt like that, which was terrifying with _his_ daughter in that mans arms. The mans heavy breathing turned into a yell. “She’s been very naughty! Her sister and her mother need her!” 

Emma just wanted to cry. No tears were falling from her, it was like her body wasn’t allowing her to.   
Paul was crying though, the shouting the last trigger. He didn’t want to lose his best and only ever friend, not Emma.

“Oh her mother wants the idea of her like an ungrateful child wants a dog for Christmas! But she’s a little girl! She deserves stability! To be loved unconditionally! Your family had that chance and you didn’t provide it for her!”

Emma was listening on and off to her old dad and real dad fight, starting to fight herself, in his arms.

“Bullshit! Blood is blood! She’s coming back to her family!” He squeezed her middle painfully tight as she struggled.

Hidgens cut him off enraged, one arm still around Paul’s shoulders to keep the child securely tight against him. “She found a new family! And legally you have no right to even visit her now. You need to drop my child!”

More and more confrontation happened and Emma only looked into that mans eyes once. And it was the worst decision she’d made. His voice was low, his breath hot and reeking of alcohol, and his eyes were black as he caught hers as he told Emma **“You’re mine.”**

Just like that Emma was scared stiff. 

Hidgens watched all life start to drain from his daughter and he exploded into a scream “NO SHE’S NOT!”

And hearing Hidgens voice, even though a yell, even though a tone and volume she’d never heard from her dad, it was enough for her fight instinct to kick in. Emma started to wriggle around in her fathers shoulder and under his arm, her arms trapped under her body but shaking her torso side to side, kicking her legs out, bashing her head whenever she could hit. And screeching at the top of her lungs. 

“Stop moving you little brat!”

But that only made Emma move more. She screamed and wriggled, until she kicked hard enough, not realising she’d kicked him in the most effective area. And he dropped her on instinct.

The fell to the ground roughly, scraping herself on the tarmac but jumping up and Hidgens ran to her with Paul still clinging to his hip bone, Emma running right back. Hidgens swooped her up in one arm and ran with them until they were further away from her father. But before he could get a word out, Paul’s parents had started to rock up.

“Professor! Is everything okay?- Paul! Oh my God Paul baby are you alright?!”

Hidgens knelt to the ground and held Emma and Paul tight under an arm each before yelling out to his parents “Someone call the police!” Something he knew was needed and would scare the man away. And just like he predicted, he looked up and watched the man stumble away, without even a look back to his daughter, trying to protect his own hide.

Now Hidgens was a biology professor, so he obviously knew basic first aid. Paul’s dad had gone to tell the teachers what had happened as Hidgens looked over and applied first aid to Paul, who didn’t need much, just his moms hugs, and then to his Emma. Luckily her wrist didn’t seem too bad from where she was pulled from the window, and she just needed some cleaning and a bandaid on her scraped leg from where she’d fell.

Once Hidgens stood, he kept Emma right to his legs as he spoke to Paul’s parents, so the parents not paying more attention than needed to the kids, as they knew they were safe between them.

Paul hugged Emma close. “Thank you.” He pulled back and Emma saw he hadn’t been crying for a while now. “You were so brave.” He whispered to her.

“You were brave too Paul.” Emma told him! “You didn’t tell him about me. Thank you so so so so so so so much!” Emma leant forward and kissed Paul on the cheek. When she pulled back Paul was already red faced.

As the sun was setting both families walked off. Paul was in his moms arms, cheek on her shoulder, waving bye to Emma while Emma’s legs were wrapped round Hidgens, her head in the same place as Paul’s but her chin on her dads shoulder, mouthing and waving ‘bye’ to him too.

~~~~~~~~

“Emma daring I’m sorry, I’ve kept you with me all night but it’s nearly midnight! you have to go to bed.” Hidgens tried to convince her, crooning. It had been a hard day so he’d allowed it, but this time for a six year old was just too much.

Not that Emma seemed to be showing it. “I don’t wanna leave you.” She just repeated and Hidgens sighed after getting the same answer.

Emma walked up from the couch in Hidgens study, which he had prayed she would fall asleep on, but they’d been playing a game of him placing her there and her walking back up to him on loop. And she was winning. She walked up to peer over his desk. “What are you doing now?” She asked, sounding curious.

Hidgens sighed yet again. “I’m writing soem paperwork that I’m going to give to your school tomorrow so they know not to let your father, nor your mother for that case, onto school property and in no way to allow them to pick you up.” He told her straight. Emma just nodded. “Can I help?”

“No sweetie, this is all adult stuff, you don’t have to worry.”

Emma wanted to be helpful! Then she could stay. She wanted to show Hidgens she could help him. “I can make you a coffee if you want. It’s late.” She suggested, trying to sound more grown up. Hidgens chuckled, “It’s late for you, not for me.”

“Oh? So then you’re awake enough to stay up with me then?” Emma beamed, her teeth white and bared up at him.

Hidgens laughed almost heartily at her wit and logic. Fondly, he extended his arms and took under Emma’s, picking her up onto his lap and stroking over her hair once she was on there, just to confirm she was truly alright. Emma looked up at him with those big brown eyes as he did that, and his smile wavered as his eyes started to wet. Placing his cheek on her head, he began to rock her in his chair, and started humming the first song that came into his mind in the situation. It was only part way into the song he realised he was humming sweeney Todd. But it fit.

_“Nothing’s going to harm you, not while I’m around._   
_Nothing’s going to harm you, darling, not while I’m around”_

And he repeated the phrases he was sure were so important for her to hear. 

_“No one’s going to hurt you no one’s gonna dare._   
_Others can desert you, not to worry, whistle I’ll be there”_

Emma interrupted his singing much later on, obsessed with his gentle voice, with her tired voice, something Hidgens saw as an accomplishment, asking “Do I have to go to school tomorrow?”

He’d wanted her to get back to normality straight away. Hidgens moved his head from hers to peer down at her, her eyes looked awake, but her hands that stretched over his tummy were opening and clenching sleepily. He cooed over her, like he did most days to be fair, but today he was really relishing having such an angel in his life, and that he needed to keep his angel safe. Safe, but educated and prepared for the world. “Afraid so sweetheart.” He smiled with a small laugh on his lips. “But Paul will be there!”

“No, his parents are definitely gonna keep him home.” Emma said into her thumb she was chewing down on, like she was wise to the fact. Hidgens gently moved her hand away from her gnawing teeth. Then her head popped up to Hidgens with a wide smile. “Maybe we should be home together!”

And Hidgens couldn’t help but laugh at how well she was coping, pushing back the obviously not true thoughts that maybe she was used to it, or she was in denial. He poked her ribs lightly, but enough to get her to squeal from the tickle. “Well I don’t think your teachers are gonna care about the homework you definitely did not do if that helps.”

And oh he knew it did. “Okay! So basically just playtime with Paul tomorrow?”

“You should still try to pay attention dear. Which you won’t be able to do if you’re sleep deprived.” Hidgens tried to lift her off his lap so he could put her to bed, but she clung on and he loosened his hold.

Emma’s tiny fingers dug into Hidgens arm. She periodically squeezed his flesh through his jumper and jacket as if to build up her courgae for her vital question. And when she looked up into Hidgens nice blue eyes, she found that courage. The courage to ask “Is dad gonna find me now?”

Hidgens went from holding her waist to lift her off, to pulling her close into his chest and keeping his hold on her. He crossed both arms over the others to hug her close as he began humming again for a second, looking upwards to bat his eyes and make sure he wasn’t tearing up. Before he could look down and say with an almost scary confidence the truth. “No. Not at all, I won’t let that happen, besides we have our defences, our gates and you have me.” He peered his head down until he was at as close an eye level as he could be, whilst keeping Emma smothered on his lap. His eyes were wide. “Emma I swear in all my power I won’t let that man near you again.”

Emma seemed okay with that response, and instead of looking deeply into Hidgens, she turned her body to rest her cheek against his soft jumper and close her eyes with a sigh. “Keep singing to me please? I swear I’ll try and fall asleep right here.” She sleepily clenched the material of his jumper between her fists and kept her little grip, to make sure he was staying right there with her.

And Hidgens knew he couldn’t say no to her. Taking his hands off Emma slowly, but quickly putting a purpose to them, he let her cling on like a baby monkey or something of the sort, as he speedily took off his jacket, before placing it over Emma’s small body like a blanket. Then he hugged her with his arm, just like he should he, while his other hand stroked through her hair. “Okay love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day Hidgens went to wake her up slightly earlier, because he knew there might be struggles. When he got to her room she was still fast asleep in her bed. Ducking under her silk curtains above and sitting in her bed, he gently placed his hand on her stomach and started to shake her awake. “Emmaaa.” He said in a sing songy gentle voice. “Come on, up you get.”

Emma moaned and snuggled into Ted more, not opening her eyes but squinting. Hidgens smirked, A) she was awake, B) she was just so adorable. “Come on sweetheart. If you get up now I’ll have time to make pancakes.” He bribed, hoping that would get her jumping out of bed. 

But Emma just whined, finally half opening her eyes and looking up to Hidgens, upset. “I don’t want pancakes. I feel icky.”

Hidgens first instinct was worry, because that was just him. But he knew that her attitude was most likely because of yesterday, but he pressed. “What’s wrong then dear?” He placed a hand to her head to feel her temperature and now she fully opened her eyes.

“I have a tummy ache, and a head ache, a-and, my arm hurts.”

That made Hidgens flinch. He opened his arms to allow her to make choice and she immediately opened her arms back, too tired to go into his. So he leaned over and lifted her to his arms. Whilst standing, he held her, her head against his chest, her legs wrapped around his waist, his hand on back of her head and rubbing his thumb over her skull comfortingly as he took her downstairs. 

He placed her on the counter in the kitchen, and kneeled down slightly to see her bent head. Once settled, he had Emma keep a thermometer in her mouth while he looked over her arm again. It was the same as yesterday, perhaps a pulled muscle but nothing worse than that, she was fine.

“I don’t think I can go into school today daddy.”

Hidgens nodded to himself as she told him this. He took the thermometer she held out for him and examined it before making his decision. “Well why not. You’re not ill darling.” He revealed to her only for her to bow her head. He felt almost _bad_ for telling her she wasn’t sick or injured. “We talked about this yesterday, you can go and see Paul!” He thought that maybe she forgot about that and smiled because that brought her spirits up last night! He’d got it!

But Emma now bowed her head further than must have been comfortable, and let out a long sigh. “I’m not friends with Paul anymore.”

Hidgens just blinked confusedly, his head almost shaking as he tried to figure this information out. Had she found his phone and he’d broken up their friendship last night? They’d seemed fine? “Why aren’t you friends with Paul any more dear?” He asked perturbed.

And then Emma snapped. Not angrily. But emotionally. She let it all out. “I’m dangerous! He wouldn’t have hurt Paul if he wasn’t my friend! It’s better no one’s near me.”

Hidgens immediately wanted to shut that down. He shook his hands in front of her. Standing up now and from the way he shot straight Emma’s eyes did follow him. and he desperately kept that eye contact.

“Emma Emma Emma! No sweetheart. If Paul’s parents scared you would you stop playing with him?” He asked, trying to logic his way through this with her. She was a smart girl.

Emma tilted her head, falling on her shoulder as she look up at Hidgens puzzled. “No” she said slowly, like it was obvious “because Paul’s my best friend.”

“Well there you go!” Hidgens clapped his hands together and smiled down at her.

“What?”

Ah. She might need the explanation. He placed both hands on her shoulders, then moved one to rest against her cheek, his thumb stroking over her cheekbone feather light and dotingly. “If you wouldn’t stop being Paul’s friend, why would he stop being yours?”

But even that explanation didn’t move Emma. Because she simply answered “Well, because I’m me.”

Now, Hidgens never got angry if he could absolutely help it, not in front of Emma, not unless it was an emergency, where controlling his emotions wasn’t exactly a valid option. But damn did he get close when he heard her say that. 

“No. No no! Absolutely not.” Hidgens ranted. “No listen to me Emma- listen!” He took her by her hands and shook them once in his, his eyes pleading for her to understand, hers looking back warily. “You are absolutely incredible.” He started off, watching the way her eyes widened as, even though she was used to hearing this stuff from Hidgens, she still wasn’t used to hearing it.

He took her cheeks in both hands now, his hands much colder than her warm skin. “Darling Emma. Anyone would be tremendously lucky to have you in their life. Some people just don’t know what to do with that honour and throw it away!” He watched Emma giggle beneath him and his smile grew as he kept nodding her head, but more gently, in his hands. “Yes exactly! And anyone who would believe otherwise is- ... i-is a big dumb idiot!” No swearing in front of Emma. It still seemed to be effective though as she gasped at the words she’d never heard come from his mouth before. Then, just kind of going with it, Emma raised her hands up and squeezed Hidgens cheeks between her own small palms. “You really think so?” She modelled his face beneath her hands, her eyes serious but every other part of her bursting with energy, before Hidgens nodded frantically.

“Yes! Of course I do. You’re the best little girl I’ve ever known, the best kid, no! The best person. Emma Hidgens you’re the best person who’s ever come into my life.”

It was an emotional, truly from the heart speech. But Emma had one last ‘best’ to add.  
“Best friend?”

Hidgens chuckled, lifting Emma up onto his hip now and swaying around the room with her, she kept her hands playing with his face. “You want your father to be your best friend?” He asked, not turning it down at all. Just in case she thought that was-

“Yes!” Emma cut him off straight away, knowing it was true.

“What about Paul?-“

“No! He’s my friend. You’re my best friend dad! Or maybe you’re both my best friends! I don’t know! But you have to be my best friend!” There was stubbornness laced all throughout her tone, clear as day, but she was smiling brightly as she said this. And Hidgens had just wanted to see her smile.

“Okay sweetheart. I’m your father and your best friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished my play! Finally, and also wrecked my voice bc it’s still not 100% from the infection but so glad it was good enough to perform
> 
> Oof, not as fluffy as domestic as the last several chapters 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! As always please leave any and all comments and just thanks for the support of this fic! Can’t believe we’re at 20 chapters already wow 💕


	21. Things They Don’t Tell You About Raising Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets into the domestic lives of Emma and Dadgens, there are so many challenges with raising a child that just didn’t even cross Hidgens mind, not that he would ever remotely mind

Hidgens knew there’d be some challenges raising a child, obviously. And Hidgens wouldn’t give up Emma for the world. But most of his daily struggles were concerning things he hadn’t even thought about. 

“Emma come on, downstairs! We’re _late_ darling!” He waited at the foot of the stairs, sixteen minutes before her class started and Emma still wasn’t ready. He watched her bound down the stairs and sighed as he noticed one blaring missing piece. “Emma where are your shoes? We’re late!” He repeated, slightly exasperated as he tried to find his keys.

“I don’t know.” Emma answered behind him, not really seeming to care if she was late to school, of course. But Hidgens tried to help her out. “Well where did you last see them?”

There was a pause for Emma to look around the room, then down. 

“On my feet.”

“No after that darling!” Hidgens ducked under the stairs and found a pair, any pair, and passed them to Emma. He stood up for one second to continue searching for his keys when Emma summoned him. “Dad! These have laces!”

Oh, right. Hidgens exhaled, exhausted in general but there to help Emma, before kneeling down below Emma on the stairs. She’d kicked them on for him and he went through the same story he always told her as he tied up her laces for her. _”Over, under, around and through, Meet Mr. Bunny Rabbit, pull and through.”_ Even though rushing, he always took his time when teaching her things.

“Right!” He clapped his hands, before offering her one and she jumped down those two steps and onto the floor. “We just need to zip that coat up and we’re ready!” Hidgens smiled, like he almost couldn’t believe they may actually get there on time. 

They were at the last step now. He smoothed out her coat for half a second, taking even that small amount of time to breathe, before lining up her zip at the bottom and pulling on it. And then he pulled again. And pulled... and pulled and tugged and yanked. It would not move. 

Emma stood there for Hidgens to do her zip. But he was gritting his teeth and his face was turning red. “C-C’mon!” His hands were shaking as he used all his force to try and do this simple task. “Why... why on earth do they make children’s zips harder? Okay I’ve only made it worse, okay it’s broken, the zip’s broken now, I’ve ruined the coat, I’m sorry, go find another coat dear.”

Hidgens stood tall and placed his head into his hands. He just wanted to cry and sleep and down a bottle of white all at the same time, all from that... that damn... that fucking zipper!

Emma ran back in with a new coat, green this time. “This one has Velcro!” She told Hidgens excitedly, only getting happier as he praised her.

“Oh excellent! Use that good job.”

Emma brought something out of her pocket and jangled it in the air in front of him. “Oh and daddy your spare keys are in this one.”

Hidgens turned around, whispered “Fuck yes” then turned back around, velcroed his daughter up, took his keys in one hand and her hand in the other as they ran to the car together.

~

The evenings were just as much of a bizarre struggle as the mornings. Being a bit of a picky eater he had expected, just not the length of it.

Fortunately, Hidgens was a good dad. And if there was something he was proud of when it came to being a father (more menial than quite literally probably saving her life) it was that he only made meals she liked, and she still got a balanced diet. She was very good with fruit, she’d eat anything you told her was fruit, although he kept tomatoes of that list, he knew with her hatred if he told her they were fruit she may never look at any fruit the same again. But overall, apples, mandarins, passion fruit, she’d eat the lot. Vegetables were a different matter.

“Emma dear can you please have one piece of broccoli?” Hidgens tried, leaning on his arm that tiredly held the fork out with the green tree on it. Emma looked at it like it was going to eat _her._

“But dad, everyone says they’re disgusting!” Emma moaned, once again repeating the same argument. Hidgens was not that shocked when she’d told him she’d never eaten broccoli before, unfortunately all the tv and kids in her class saying how broccoli was the worst vegetable of them all had Emma convinced they had to tase absolutely vile for the amount of complaining that accompanied them.

Hidgens knew if the broccoli got cold it was game over, so he was going to try just a little more tonight, to get it over with. “You need to try new things.” He pleaded. She didn’t eat enough vegetables and he couldn’t really make fruit with dinner every night.

Emma disagreed completely though. “They’re horrible! You can’t make me!” She pushed her plate with the other green things away and crossed her arms. This was all starting to tick her off now, not to mention how stressful it was. She was good for Hidgens, but she would _not_ eat garbage!

“No of course not dear, no one’s forcing you.” Hidgens sighed, placing her fork back on her plate with a small clatter. “I’d just really like you to at least try it. You may like it.”

There was dead silence from Emma, and even more from Hidgens as he waited, just in case he could outdo her stubbornness. 

That was a losing battle. 

He brought a knife up to the smallest piece of broccoli and looked into Emma’s eyes tiredly. “What if I cut it in half?”

In a challenge that seemed like torture for Emma, she finally got the cut up vegetable in her mouth, the smallest half of the smallest piece. Hidgens watched her theatrics as she demanded juice, swirling it around in her mouth and made a big show of swallowing, coughing out like she was choking on the taste after. He pat her back through the process and let her know he was very proud she ‘tried’ it. He knew she was really okay because seconds after his praise she bounced up with the question “Can I have ice cream now?”

Not really feeling very accomplished, but sticking to his promise he went to grab the bowls and spoons, with a tired “Yes alright.”

~

Bath time was even worse than dinner, at least that happened less often. But still every Sunday was a struggle for the both of them.

“Daddy please don’t make me! Can I do it tomorrow? I don’t want a bath! I don’t like baths! You can’t force me!” It was the same every week.

He stood outside to make sure she didn’t drown, but she still needed help washing her hair, but Emma hated that part. Shampoo made her very fidgety. “It’s gonna go in my eyes!!” She’d squeal, getting herself worked up over the idea it could. 

But Hidgens did sympathise with that, largely because he could remember being her age with his mother, the few times shampoo had gone in his eyes he’d cried and cried, terrified he was going to turn blind. The thought of shampoo coming anywhere near his head was a scary one. 

So Hidgens understood why Emma didn’t like baths, that she didn’t want the pain and panic accompanied with getting soap in her eyes. But he hadn’t let it happen yet though. Which, was hard considering how much she moved about when he tried to do it. The jug and flannel routine had seemed to be working well however. So he was hoping that Emma could begin to not get so anxious over something she just had to do, that if she trusted him with everything else, she’d soon be able to trust him with this.

And brushing her hair every night, well Hidgens was just so gentle it took forever. No hair pulling or knots for dad of the year.

~

There was a time that could be either peaceful, heartwarming, fun, or more exercise than Hidgens had ever done in his life. And that was bedtime.

There were cute moments. Moments where his poor Emma was so outdone by their days activities that she’d just fall asleep listening to him. He’d carry her to her bed, take her shoes off, and stand back for a moment just to look at her and he knew from that peaceful look he had done a good job. Other nights... were not like that.

“I’m not tired! You’ll have to catch me!”

Emma refused to go to sleep. Tonight, like many nights when there was a struggle, she’d got herself excited teasing him and was now running all around the house, screaming with joy, while Hidgens tried to catch her, and she was loving it. 

“Emma come on! Pj’s!” Hidgens called out, holding them in his hands while stopping for breath as Emma skidded around the corner, her second flight of stairs up. Hidgens bent forward and rested his palms on his knees, he had no idea how children had this much... this much _energy._

But when Emma realised her dad wasn’t following her, the sound of her giggles accompanied her presence, and Hidgens held his head up as seconds later his daughters head popped out from behind the wall. She was still giggling, but the laughs got cut off with big breaths incrementally, a good sign for Hidgens. “Come on dad! You’re such a slowpoke!” Emma teased, sticking her tongue out. 

That’s when Hidgens straightened his form, his fist still tight around her pyjamas and told her. “No sweetheart, I was just preparing.” And then he sprinted for her, and instead of in her old home, where sprinting from her father was the usual but nevertheless always, constantly terrifying, Emma was screaming with _delight_ as she ran away in their game.

Nighttime had other problems, even after bedtime. Hidgens would normally spend the first hour, at least, after putting Emma to bed, waiting on her command.

“Hidgens I’m thirsty!”

“Dad? Check under my bed for monsters?”

“Daddy can I pleaseee have another story?”

The girl was clingy. Secretly, Hidgens didn’t mind at all.

Even when she knew there were no more excuses, sometimes she still just wouldn’t sleep! Hidgens would love to be in bed by 7pm on some nights!

He’d figured out a plan though. He didn’t like trickery, but it was a good plan. He’d told Emma that sleeping people couldn’t be tickled, or rather, they weren’t ticklish.

He came to her room after her bedtime and heard her giggling behind the door at something, clearly wide awake. He gave her a few seconds of loud walking, just to give her a chance, before walking in and saw she was completely under her covers, head and body. At least that meant both could smile to themselves.

And so the game began. Hidgens walked slowly towards her bed, watching the covers rustle as she tried not to squirm, and he whispered ‘to himself’. “Oh I miss hanging out with Emma now she’s not awake. I guess I’ll just tickle her since she’s asleep...” Goodness that girl could not contain her giggles.

When he went for her she revealed she was awake by leaping up and laughing “No tickles!”

“Aha!” Hidgens exclaimed triumphantly.

“Aaaah!” Emma screamed joyfully.

But that wasn’t the most tiresome part. Those parts, where most parents he thought would see as annoyance, were cute, proof Emma just wanted to spend time with him, and more opportunity for him to bond with her. The worst happened when he was already asleep.

Hidgens woke up in the darkness, just kind of, sensing a change in the air, when he finally peeked open his eyes. And there stood Emma’s face an inch away from his. 

“Aah!” He snorted awake frightened, before properly looking down at her and then to his alarm clock. “Uh... what... it’s- dear it’s 2am Emma- what are you doing up?”

“Is it time for breakfast?”

Hidgens made groans of confusion, as he shuffled in his blankets to get a better look at his six year old child. She was just wide awake.

“Uuh. Emma it’s 2 o’clock in the morning... You need to go back to sleep.” He said exasperated and still confused, he had only woken up a minute ago after all. 

But he got out of bed, took Emma’s hand and walked her back to her room. He tucked her in, kissed her goodnight, did all the same routine except this time, seconds after he said goodnight, she collapsed into her pillows and was dead asleep. Hidgens shook his head before closing her door and walking back to his room. Sometimes she was just so surprising.

~

One thing Hidgens hadn’t really thought of was that children liked to learn and mirror their role models, that included copying phrases.

Now he was trying to buy Emma a lovely flowy dress for her school photoshoot/medieval day. Apparently for the juniors of the school, one of their bi-annual photo shoots was always on a themed day, this one happened to be medieval. Everyone was going as princes and princesses so he had to get Emma a dress, except he knew that wouldn’t go over well. He’d wanted to buy her lots of pretty dresses and outfits for a while now, things he just knew she’d be so adorable in and he could treat her like his little princess, spoil her rotten, but she did not want to be all dolled up, which he was absolutely fine with. 

But she really needed a dress, and this was his chance. He pulled a lovely petite, turquoise one off the railings and held it up to her, it was very long on her but cute, he could always do some trimming anyway. “Aw what about this one Emma? This is nice.” He tried with a cooing smile, normally Emma was coaxed into whatever Hidgens believed, but she shoved it away with both her hands and shook her head vehemently. “No I’m gay I can’t!” 

Hidgens just sighed so loudly, putting his free hand on Emma’s shoulder. _Again?_ He tried to explain this one last time. “No, you’re not gay, I’m gay. You’re six.” 

He sighed again when Emma just gave him a blank unresponsive look. He needed to make sure she actually _was_ in bed before saying joking phrases like that he knew she wouldn’t get. 

In the end he went to the counter with a beautiful purple dress, it flowed out at the end almost as if it was on a corset and had silky frills on the skirt section, with cute kids jewellery for the torso area, oh it was just so adorable, and he’d promised Emma he wouldn’t get anything pink. She would look like a Disney princess! His little star!!

Emma kept her arms crossed at the till and huffed to herself every now and then. It was the first dress she hadn’t outwardly said no to. Well, it was the last dress of about thirty he’d shown her, so likely she’d just gotten tired of explaining why she hated each and every dress. But when they got home and Hidgens had her try it on again in front of her own bedroom mirror, he’d hoped her opinion would change. 

He stepped back and snapped a Polaroid, since this was a very rare opportunity, and she did look just so adorable, strangely even more with her red faced and crossed arms and pouted lip, and yes if she still felt this strongly when she was older, he could add to the ‘embarrassing photo section’ that every _normal_ family had in their scrapbooks. 

He brushed out the last bit of her frilly material whilst on his knees and just sighed. “Oh Emma you look so pretty.” He cooed over her. He liked seeing her in something that wasn’t all that similar to her hand me downs, too big, rags from home, or something she’d already spilled half her days drinks down, or even little Gary’s old clothes, something expensive and cute that he’d bought just for her. Hidgens looked up, happy in his own little world that he forgot the sight that would be greeting him.

Emma hadn’t moved her arms from her chest except when Hidgens begged while trying to get her into the dress in the first place. Her face was beet red, her lips all pouted out and she wouldn’t look at her father. 

That’s when Hidgens thought ‘fuck it, why am I doing this? They’re not gonna kick her out’ so he stood up and took Emma’s tiny hands in his, forcing them to unfold and smiled down at her. “Never mind Emma dear. Let’s forget the whole princess idea and go for something one hundred percent more you, shall we?” And Emma’s eyes went from watery to lighting up.

When Emma came back from school that day she was absolutely beaming. Looking so so happy in her bomb ass knight costume. Emma was still giggling with her helmet visor, still swinging her tin foil and cardboard sword that Hidgens had regretted making as soon as she started attacking with it, but proudly holding her shield alongside it. 

Emma ran into his arms like usual, they hugged, and he got given the example phtos with the watermarks over them.

Hidgens looked over her singular picture first and he already knew he was buying, then he looked to the class picture, of her next to well cleaned up, smiling prince Paul and her beaming just as hard with her visor pulled up. All this because he couldn’t find a good enough dragon costume, which he kicked hismelf for. 

She was all excited, even as Hidgens watched the gates go down to their home and led Emma inside, she was gripping onto the tail of his jumper. “All the girls were princesses except me! I was the cool one.” Emma told him, looking up and bouncing on her feet for his complete undivided attention, and he managed to make eye cotant once again as he finished putting the defences back up. And he swooped down and lifted little Emma onto his hip. 

She was much happier like this because she didn’t have to crane her neck to make sure he was looking at her. “Loads of the girls were jealous too, even some of the boys liked my knight costume best, oh but I let some of the nice girls have my helmet and sword and shield so they didn’t just have to be princesses too and then there was four of us playing knights and Paul was the prince in distress because he wanted to play too but I didn’t have any more knight things - but I was the cool none princess.” Emma laughed and laughed as she remembered the days events, she’d actually made friends!

Another linked event of children parroting phrases, came in a shocking realisation to Hidgens that children were especially not immune to propaganda. 

“Dad?” Emma wandered into Hidgens study from the living room in her dungarees, and waited by the door. Hidgens span in his chair to smile at her. “Yes sweetie?” He was always ready to answer any of her q-

“Have you been in an accident at work that wasn’t your fault?” Emma asked him, completely seriously.

It took Hidgens a moment of blinking and wondering if he was in a dream, hearing something so just... jarring and stone faced coming from his little girls mouth. Like she was a lawyer herself. “Wha- er- no darling-“

“But you could be entitled to compensation.”

He ushered Emma back out and over to her cushion on the floor and her cartoons, while she adorably tried to tell him about how he could earn more money, as well as justice, and that doing this was just simply best for him.

But the worst thing Emma picked up off him was, was his language. Now Hidgens has been proud of himself for being good around her, he rarely even said ‘fuck’, and he’d had no more than a couple of close calls, whenever she was about he held it in and could swap it for a pg version of his frustrations.

Unfortunately Emma didn’t always announce when she was stalking him. Not even after the fact.

Hidgens was out shopping with Emma, and she was very good when shopping. She got bored yes, but she wasn’t like the children he’d seen in the same situation as her getting stroppy and throwing themselves to the floor in fits of tears, he’d always snatch up her hand and walk past that commotion. But he was letting her pick out what she wanted for dinner, and whilst he leant up to the top shelf for a tin, Emma went to the third from the bottom, and then Hidgens heard the metallic clatter and thunk. That sound wasn’t surprising. Emma’s _”Son of a ditch.”_ was...

Hidgens turned around slowly. He looked down at his usually polite, and always perfect little girl and asked in shock “What did you say?”

So, Emma shrugged and repeated it. “Son of a ditch.”

Hidgens sighed, at least she thought that was the word. So he leant down and placed his palms on his knees to give an almost serious talk. “Where did you hear that?” He could tell off anyone close to her who’d let that slip, but he was more anxious about what turned out to be the right answer.

“Well I heard a big crash when you were making dinner and then I heard you say it.” Emma revealed. Hidgens darned himself. ...-Even in his head it was darn not damn! Ohh he needed to be careful. “Okay honey, but those are angry words, they’re adult words. We don’t use them and we definitely don’t say them in public.”

“Oh... Okay!” Emma picked back up her can and placed it in the trolley, so Hidgens just moved on. He’d hoped she’d gotten the message. He was wrong.

In public the most minor thing would happen and she’d come out with it. Apparently it had just become her new catch phrase. He got a lot of disapproving looks from parents which he just couldn’t handle. Not to mention the over paranoia of getting a call from the school if Emma decided to start techaing her classmates her knew phrase. 

But no matter how many times Hidgens reminded her it was an adult saying she’d still say it. And now he knew Emma wasn’t bad, nor did she do things just to upset him, she’d never want to upset him in her life! He knew she was just copying him to be close to him. And if it was any other appropriate saying he’d be stood with pride every time she said it instead if shrivelling up into himself. So that’s when he got the idea.

He made sure Emma was watching him. She was sitting down in the library reading with him, just laying on the floor with her book and reading in her head, but she was near him.

And Hidgens set his plan in motion. He leant up to take a book off a high shelf, and made sure to bring a whole series down with him. Several copies all fell to the floor with a loud flutter of pages and clatter of leather, and young Emma’s head whipped over to where the commotion was coming from. And loudly, Hidgens uttered clearly with disappointment in his voice “Aw man!”

Hidgens looked over to Emma and saw she was looking at all his books, then stood up and went over to him to help him put the books back. Well, he was glad to know she was so kind, and he ruffled her hair gently in response, but he hoped she’d gotten a new phrase stuck in her head.

But he couldn’t risk it on just that one attempt. So over and over he’d be clumsy, or experience minute road rage, or something unpleasant would happen and Hidgens ‘immediate’ response would singularly, always be “Aw man.”

So now Emma went round pointing out things and going through slightly annoying times in her young life, and going “Aw man!”

~

Emma was cuddling with her dad on the couch. She snuggled into his tummy and gripped onto his jumper sleeves with a squeal. He was trying to get her to stop being a monkey but she _knew_ it was just their game, she wasn’t being pushed away. 

But after a few minutes of overpowering him and winning her snuggles, she started getting fed up of being the only one showing her love. “Daaaad cuddle me back now!” She whined, poking his cheek and pouting, but still somehow with a smile clear on her face.

Hidgens just couldn’t help but smile when he was around his daughter. He opened his arms and let her throw herself into them, which she happily did. She attempted to burrow under his chin and chuckling he kissed over her head, she seemed to need all the love and affection she never got in her first developmental years, and he was happy to be the one to give it to her, to be the father she needed him to be. But he did joke with her after he stopped kissing her cheek and Emma said firmly “No.”

He laughed. Then he started to get emotional, almost nostalgic for the times he was experiencing right now. “One day when you’re big, you’re not going to want to spend all your time kissing and cuddling your old dad.” Hidgens chuckled lightly. But Emma did not react in the same way, she gasped. “No! Don’t say that Hidgens!” She smacked his arm stroppily and Hidgens gave a small “Ow”, mostly from surrpuse, looking back down to a red eyed Emma with a gulp.

She hit him again, her voice wavering up and down with panic. “Don’t be stupid!”

“Okay I’m sorry dear!” It was rare to see Emma angry and he didn’t like seeing it, it reminded him too much of her parents, even though everybody got angry and it was so rare for her ; but he also hated being the cause of it. “That won’t happen to us you’re right.” He conceded, and honestly he did hope she wouldn’t be one of those teenagers who was so distant from her parents that she seemed to hate, although he was starting to prepare for her teenage years already, and knew he would be there for her no matter what clique or phase or anything she went through.

All Emma heard through her wall of red hot anger was “you’re right” so she was appeased. “Yeah, I am, so shut up.”

He thought she was mad, she seemed it. Her arms were crossed and she exhaled loudly through her nose with her lip pouting but my god did she look fucking adorbale all angry like that, she wasn’t anything like her parents. All children had tantrums and hers was about thinking he wouldn’t still love her when she was older? 

Then to add sugar to the pot, she threw her arms around him for hugs so he knew she was not mad. “Don’t say that Hidgens. I’ll always be kissing and cuddling you!” Emma said muffled into his turtleneck, liked they’d always been a family. And Hidgens wished to believe that too. He wrapped his arms back around her and kissed her hair over and over to show he wouldn’t stop being her dad any time soon. Emma looked up and with a tired sigh, after seeing his eyes were true, pressed her face into his, nuzzling her nose affectionately against her dads, and he did so too. “Okay darling I wont say it again, I was being very silly.”

“Yeah. You were.”

~

Hidgens was walking Emma home, holding her hand down the semi busy street on a normal, nice, afternoon. They got closer to the crossing and he knew what was happening to feel safe enough about letting her hand go for a second, she was running to press the crossing button for the green man.

He didn’t understand why little things like this brought her joy, but he guessed it was like balloons, something kids loved and got excited for but adults really had no use for, although he still thought if someone gifted him a balloon he’d be flattered. But he watched as Emma ran, not too close to the edge of the road, but getting towards the button, almost a foot away when the light turned on. 

He and Emma both looked at it confused, before turning to the side and seeing a young boy standing with his parents at the same crossing, who had pressed the button himself on the right side of them.

Hidgens walked over to Emma now the button was pressed and took her hand up in his like usaual. But Hidgens worried more for other child’s safety ; as Emma was glaring daggers at them, puffing her cheeks out annoyed. Hidgens held her hand tighter.

~

“Emma come downstairs darling! We’re going to be late for another play date! Garrett’s making you and Gary barbecue tonight!” Hidgens called out to Emma. He had a budget meeting and Emma had a play date / was being baby sat. 

He went to the living room to make sure all the lights and tv and everything was turned off, when he heard the banging of Emma running down the stairs.

He switched off the radio which Emma had left on, again, before jogging up over to Emma. She was sitting on the stairs, half her body blocked by the 2 coats, one large and one tiny, on the bannister. Hidgens was about to express how late they were again when he heard Emma gasp. “Dad!!”

He’d never heard her squeal like that before. He walked over and saw her with one shoe on, and the laces all tied up. His eyes shot to hers in astonishment.

“I did it!! I really did it! Look!” Emma made sure he was looking before slipping on the other shoe, mumbling the rhyme to herself, and a smile grew on Hidgens face as he watched her pull the bows and perfect the lace. 

Emma jumped off the bottom of the stairs and stood proud. “I did it dad! I tied my shoes! All by myself! I can do it now!” She beamed up at him.

Then Hidgens started clapping excitedly for her. And Emma, knowing she was allowed to celebrate her victory, stayed jumping up and down in place, and without tripping on any laces, giggling to herself. 

“Oh well done dear! I’m ever so proud, we’ll have to buy you a treat when I come pick you up.” Hidgens went on and on, letting Emma jump onto his back and giving her a piggy back as he locked the door and walked all the way to the car, before having to unclaw her nails and strap her in. He was so proud of her, and happy for her! But he was also kind of sad that she didn’t need him for that small thing, anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been a lil while. I’ve had completely hectic weeks with barely any time to myself at all but things are kinda chilling out now?? Anyway sorry for the wait but any free time I have is going towards writing just so y’all know 👌 And so you guys know there’s no way I’m quitting on any of this!
> 
> Can you tell some of this was just stolen from Michael McIntyre’s bits.
> 
> You’ll find out who Hidgens was saying ‘I can’t I’m gay’ to next chapter, but not saying anymore than that
> 
> Also yass to the ‘I cant I’m gay’ tweet/meme, I’ve been planning that one for so long, Zoya knows it hahah


	22. Not Jealousy That Fuels Her Hate (1/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know how little kids have bad feelings about bad people? It’s a shame Hidgens doesn’t know this when he brings his new boyfriend home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (See TW’s above for this chapter)

For over 3 whole months Emma had had a babysitter Friday nights. She hated it at first, but she did get used to it. And whenever she got back home or her dad came back home it was the highlight of her day, he’d always have his arms open for her and she’d rush into them for her hug. She’d ask every time “Did you miss me?” and every time he responded “More than the world.”

But this Friday was special. Hidgens had told Emma last week that this Friday night they’d both be at home together! She liked that. But he also told her that someone else would be joining them. She’d hoped it was maybe uncle Garrett, or Paul for a playdate, but her dad said it was a stranger. She didn’t like that as much, but she was with her dad so it would all be okay.

She was sitting down at the dining table with Hidgens, they had to wait to eat until this stranger came, Emma didn’t mind waiting since she had more time to talk to Hidgens and to ask questions like “Why do I have to meet him?”

Hidgens patiently responded yet again “Because he wants to meet you and I want you two to meet each other.”

“But why?”

That’s when the doorbell rung. Hidgens noticed his daughters stiff body as a response, so he swanned over to give her a quick kiss to the forehead, then he left to answer the door.

And on the other side was the man he’d been dating these past 3+ months.

“Thank you for finally doing this Henry.” Was the first thing he said, leaning in for a kiss but Hidgens quickly backed up, not wanting to keep his Emma waiting for too long. “Ah yes, no of course, how could I not?” In truth Hidgens would have wanted to wait a lot longer before introducing anyone new in Emma’s life. As in maybe until he knew it’d be someone he’d spend the rest of his life with? Honestly though he didn’t think a relationship was going to happen at this point, since he was bad socially and hadn’t really cared as much about dating the past couple of years. But he met Tony and Tony really wanted to meet Emma, he was very headstrong, Hidgens just jokingly hoped he and Emma wouldn’t butt heads in that case.

When Hidgens entered the room he entered holding hands with Tony. But when Emma saw him she stood up and ran to the end of the table before stopping in her tracks. He let go of his hand to run towards her, holding Emma under his arm instead. “Emma, this is Tony.” He introduced, feeling Emma cling to his hip, she’d been growing ever so slightly these past few weeks. Hidgens smiled down at her, then back up to Tony. “He’s my... erm... my boyfriend.” He wanted to be confident when he said that, it still came out awkward.

“Your boyfriend?” Emma asked. She looked up to Hidgens, confused.

He knelt down in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders, he knew this talk was coming one day. “You see dear, you know how boyfriends can have girlfriends and vice- and girlfriends can have boyfriends? Well sometimes boys can have boyfriends and girls can have girlfriends, sometimes people can be in love with people who are the same gender as them.”

“Okay I get that dad.” Emma seemed to understand quickly and that made Hidgens smile, the next bit made it falter. “But _why_ do you have a boyfriend?”

Hidgens had a good look at her face now. She wasn’t just confused, she was betrayed. “Oh Emma dear. It’s like with parents, daddy’s and mommy’s can be with each other while still loving their children.” He explained. She didn’t really... respond, so he stood up and Emma went back to holding his hand. He looked to Tony with an awkward smile, but he seemed to be very confident unlike Hidgens. That confidence made Hidgens ask his daughter “Do you want to say hi Emma?” It wasn’t really a question, but she still reposnded with “No.”

Oh. He... he didn’t really know what to do now. She said it point blank, and she wouldn’t stop staring at Tony. Hidgens cleared his throat to clear the air. “Erm Emma dear are you sure you don’t want to introduce yourself?” He tried again. Emma did not give up. “Yes. I’m sure Hidgens.” 

He gulped. Oh dear she hadn’t even called him ‘dad’, well she didn’t all the time but sometimes she called him that when she was mad at him. How he hoped that wasn’t the case. But she still held to his hand tight so she didn’t _seem_ mad at him. 

Instead, he looked to Tony for help. His boyfriend then cleared his throat. “Maybe we should just all sit down and eat, get to know each other?”

Hidgens was supposed to sit at the head of the table, with Emma and Tony facing each other. Except wherever he moved Emma would follow, with her eyes trained on this new man. She put her hand on the back of any chair next to where she thought Hidgens would sit, and when he went to the head where there were no chairs next to him, she attempted to climb onto his lap. So Hidgens gave up and sat next to Emma on the left, opposite his new ‘partner’ on the right.

The meal was awkward, but names were thrown around and Emma got to know that Tony would be around a bit more often. As least she didn’t scream and shout at that. But Hidgens was worried when Emma hadn’t said a word as soon as she sat down. He’d spoken for her when possible, and apologised for her being shy, although he didn’t know if it was shyness or stubbornness, one was just more socially acceptable. She wouldn’t speak, she just sort of... glared at Tony.

When he showed Tony out Emma finally spoke when the door had fully closed. She tugged on his sleeve and said “Can I go to bed now?” He immediately pulled her up onto his hip, just glad she was acting like herself again and talking, although slightly concerned she wanted to go to bed on time. But he agreed, of course, it had been a long night for her. “I’m sorry if you felt thrown into all that Emma.” Hidgens apologised, looking down at her but she just watched the floor move beneath his feet. He sighed. “It’s just a first meeting, but I wanted the two of you to see each other.” He tried to justify as he sat her down in her bed. 

Emma got changed quickly into her pjs as Hidgens cleaned up her room for her, just wanting her to relax for now. When both were done she looked up from her mattress and straight into Hidgens eyes. “I don’t like him.”

Hidgens stuttered on his next sentence. That straight out dislike he was not expecting. She hadn’t been this adverse to strangers before... maybe she was jealous? Ahh. He thought he’d figured it out now. He sat down on her bed and tucked her in, really paying attention to her and the sheets. “You just don’t know him yet.” He said as he smoothed out the sheets, he pat Emma’s body underneath them. “Give it time, you’ll get to like him soon.”

“I don’t think so.”

Hidgens was stumped and Emma was scared, for both the same reason. Emma always believed Hidgens, but this time she refused to.

~

Emma was _very_ clingy at first. She would run out of the room if she walked in and the other man was in there. At first both men would try and call her back, but soon Emma got... used, to his presence. She still didn’t want it though.

Eventually Emma was alright enough with him to have conversations, but would scream if he tried to touch her. He’d tried to hug her a few times, either to say hello or when she’d done something good, but Emma _hated_ that and Hidgens had asked him maybe not to do that and to find a different way of expressing his affection to her.

Hidgens always told Tony he tried just too hard. Emma was going to bed soon and Tony was coming over for a dinner, a dinner he’d forgotten to take Hidgens on but promised he’d come round for today. And Hidgens wanted Emma to at least say hi to him before going off to bed. Emma held Hidgens hand and moaned, kicking her feet on the floor while she waited to get it over with. 

Tony opened the door and opened his arms for Hidgens. “Hey Henry.” Emma grimaced with disgust at that name and her heart dropped as her dad dropped her hand to go hug this man. Then Tony’s face turned to her and she sighed knowing she just had to say ‘Hi.’ And get it over with.

“Hey Em!” Tony took one long stride forward and thrusted Emma into his body with a hug, squeezing his arms around her to say hello. 

Immediately, Emma started screaming. It was high pitched screeching, she pummelled her fists on him and tried to push him away with all her might. Luckily he backed off as Hidgens came over and Emma ran to the bannister, away from him, hyperventilating. 

Hidgens held out his hands between Tony and Emma who was a good couple dozen feet away. He spoke to her calmly now, before she ran off. “Okay Emma go upstairs, I’ll come say goodnight in a moment.”

He watched her carefully until she looked at him, to make sure she’d got the message, and then she ran off upstairs.

“Hey Hen”

Hidgens felt the hand on his shoulder, and he pinched the bridge of his nose before turning around to face his boyfriend, who yeah things had been a bit rocky with recently. “Tony I told you not to do that.”

“Aw come _on!_” The other scoffed, removing his hand from Hidgens shoulder and crossing his arms, annoyed _he_ was getting told off for this.

But importantly, Hidgens didn’t allow Emma to hear any shouting. Any arguments were at night and quiet, and if Tony got too loud, which he mostly did, Hidgens would make them take it outside. Just like they did now. When they got to the garden, the opposite side of the house to Emma’s window, Hidgens started up his argument again. “Just stop trying to force her into hugs!”

Tony scoffed, he hated that Henry only shouted at him when it came to his daughter, his _adopted daughter_ mind you. Even when he fucked up, Henry didn’t fight back as hard as he did when he did, God forbid, the _tiniest_ thing to upset his precious miracle. And she got ‘upset’ easy, it was tiresome and frustrating. “Oh come on Henry, she has to start being _normal_!”

And that word caused their biggest fight yet, started off with Hidgens’ “... How DARE you” and after a long time finished off with “your behaviour is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE!!”

“Henry just shut up for one second and listen to me!” Tony yelled, and annoyedly but logically, Hidgens crossed his arms and breathed in for ten seconds as he let Tony talk. 

“Henry... look. I know you didn’t like that but the thing is... you’re not helping her.”

Now that got Hidgens attention. He stopped being angry, stopped doing his breathing and instead held his breath, because he was in complete shock.

Tony ran his hands down his face and sighed heavily before continuing. “ You’re making her more of a social outcast... just like you Henry.”

Hidgens couldn’t believe his ears. He actually fell to the grass, with his hand to his heart. Was he... _was he a bad father?_

Hidgens patted his heart, his voice breaking. “I- I’ve just tried to help her... To not- to not _upset_ her...”

Tony knelt down on the grass with him and forced Hidgens hand into his own, Hidgens let him hold tight. “I know and she idolises you but that’s not exactly great. I mean some characteristics- wow babe, but you don’t have all the best traits...”

Hidgens nodded as Tony finished. No... of course he was right. Hidgens was socially challenged, he was awkward, nerdy, too rough around the edges sometimes, not great with words or people, stubborn, and he took it too far with his paranoia and research sometimes. His chest started heaving with self loathing. No... he could not let Emma become like him.

Right?

~

Either way the next day Hidgens listened to him. They all had breakfast together, although Emma always peered into the kitchen in the mornings when she’d seen Tony the night before, and today she sighed on the inside as he was there, sitting at the breakfast bar with some fruit.

Well it was _Emma’s house_ more than his! She held her chin up and walked over to the fridge, ignoring him as he said good morning. But... But her strawberries weren’t there! Dad had bought her strawberries yesterday, specifically for today!

Emma looked around frantically and saw Tonys plate had an apple, a banana AND her STRAWBERRIES!

Well that just wasn’t fair.

“Hey. Those are my strawberries. My dad bought them for me.” Emma spoke up, probably the only time she said more than a few words to Tony was when she was arguing with him.

“Oh. Well sorry about that champ.”

Emma wanted to scream at him. That meant he was supposed to give them back! He couldn’t take everything from her! So she did what she did with her dad all the time and took some off his plate, or rather, attempted to.

Emma had just brushed her fingertips against the leaves when his hand reached out and grabbed Emma’s wrist tight. She looked up to him, every fibre in her body burning.

She wanted to break free as Tony leaned down and told her sternly. “You don’t snatch!” Well then he shouldn’t steal! _And_ he should let go of her! But he wasn’t! So Emma leant down and bit his hand as fast as she could.

She stepped back as he burst from his seat, spitting out as he shook his hand in the air. “Oh fucking hell!” He cursed, Emma throwing her hands over her ears, only her old dad used bad words like that, she wasn’t supposed to know them.

And Hidgens knew that too. He walked in upon hearing it and gasped. “Tony! Language!”

“Daddy!” Emma squealed. She ran up to and behind him, glaring at Tony from behind Hidgens back and grasping the hem of his shirt between her tiny hands fiercely.

But Tony wasn’t having any of that. He wasn’t taking the blame for this. That girl was out of hand! “Henry she fu- she bit me!” He told him, holding his hand like it was severely injured.

Hidgens looked down and behind him to his angelic little girl with wide eyes. He brought her to at least the side of him, she wouldn’t go fully in front, and asked her “Emma, is this true?”

Emma didn’t like the way her daddy was looking at her. She hated it. And it was all Tony’s fault!!! She was good! She was always good and stayed calm for her dad! But now she stomped her foot onto the ground, her hands balled in fists at her side and screamed at him as loud and screeching as possible. “HE’S A MEAN MAN! I HATE HIM DAD I HATE HIM!”

Hidgens was just in utter shock and confusion at the scene before him, but maybe not responding wasn’t the best idea either. Now Emma grabbed and yanked at his shirt and cried and jumped up and yelled and oh God.

Tony shook his head, standing up in front of the bar now. “You’re too easy on her Henry.” He spoke up disapprovingly, Emma quietening with small muffled cries and clawing onto Hidgens belt loop to listen. Tony continued. “She’s gonna be spoilt, she needs to learn to be good.”

Hidgens looks down at her after that tantrum and _biting..._ he just didn’t know what had gotten into her. So with a bowed head, he pointed upstairs. “Emma, go to your room.” 

Emma stuttered for breath. The room was deadly silent. This had never happened before. She looked to Tony, then up at Hidgens, trying to get him to look at her. “Dad?-“

“Emma you heard me well enough, go on now.” Hidgens said calmly, his head still bowed and finger still extended. So Emma took one last opportunity to try and hold in her tears... and she failed, shortly after she ran to her room and she sobbed all the way up to her bed.

Later in the day Emma heard a soft knock on her door, then she saw it peek open just a little and bowl with sour sweets in jiggle through. 

She held Ted closer to her chest, rolled to face away from her door and mumbled “I’m not hungry.”

Hidgens came in then and closed door, setting the bowl down on her bedside table. His face looked red and guilty, matching Emma’s. “Oh Emma I’m sorry, but you can’t do things like that.”

Emma turned on her side to face him, then swiftly averted her eyes to her bedsheets. “I don’t like you being upset at me.” She mumbled softly. Hidgens made a small “Oh” sound and shook his head. “I promise I’m not upset okay?” He held open his arms and Emma wasn’t upset with him either, so she embraced her dad and he hugged her lovingly. He was just so happy she wasn’t mad at him, or worse scared.

Emma looked up at him nervously, gripping her tiny fists onto his chest. “Are you gonna get married and have kids together?”

Hidgens didn’t even want to get into marriage and adoption laws right now. He brought one hand to the back of his neck, the other still holding her on his lap, and laughed nervously. “Oh wow Emma.” He gave an anxious chuckle. “Well, I’d have to be with someone for a long time before we made that decision.”

It wasn’t a straight out no, so it made Emma uneasy. She nestled her head into her daddy’s chest and closed her eyes. “I don’t want you to have a baby, daddy.”

Hidgens tutted and repositioned her, so he could really hold _his baby_ well. “Oh Emma, there’s no replacing you.” She giggled at that, and that gave Hidgens confidence. “And, erm, even if I ever did you’re my daughter and there’s nothing that would ever ever change that.”

Emma wasn’t fully 100% convinced, but she was happy for now. She sighed peacefully into his chest and snuggled him harder, patting his chest to show her affection. “I love you daddy.”

Hidgens wriggled into bed with her, lying down and cuddling his daughter he was ever so lucky to have, and gave her the hugs she deserved. “I love you too, sweet Emma.”

So after Emma had fallen asleep with him, he crawled out from underneath her covers, and had made up his mind. 

“This isn’t going to work out.” Hidgens grabbed Tony’s coat and passed it to him, it’d been the only thing he’d come with today, he could pick up his other things later. 

Tony, however, nearly spat out his drink, and refused to take the coat from Hidgens hands. “What? What the hell are you talking about?”

Hidgens hushed him eagerly, Emma was napping, and pulled him to the side. “Listen, Tony. It’s been nice. But I said from the beginning, I could only go into a relationship if it was okay with my kid, but if it’s not.. she’s my main priority.” He sighed, but sure of his decision. “And she clearly isn’t okay with it.”

But Tony wasn’t giving in that easy, and he wasn’t letting Hidgens do so either.

After an hour of discussion Tony ended up on his knees by the front door, with his arms clasping onto Hidgens wrists tightly, and _begging_ for _one last week_ to convince her. 

And after another half hour of discussion A.K.A pleading it was settled. One final week to try and win over Emma, and if not, he had to leave.

And this made Tony very mad at the one person ruining all this.

~

The next day, Emma left the school gates and frowned when she saw who was picking her up today. Emma groaned and rolled her eyes, not caring if he saw, before begrudgingly slugging along up to him.

“Hey.” He said gruffly, before walking her to the car. Emma watched him curiously. Normally he tried to peer into her life. But this time, no ‘how was school’ or ‘hey Em! What’s up?’ He just stayed silent... Well good! She didn’t want to speak to him anyways!

As soon as they got home Emma dumped her book bag on the floor and attempted to run off to her dads room. But she froze at the loud voice that yelled at her “HEY MISSY!”

She turned behind her, her blood running cold, and saw stupid Tony’s face pointing at her bag and tapping his foot impatiently. She just shrugged at him from her stairs “I don’t care! You’re not my dad so-“

“And thank fucking Christ!”

Emma gulped. She didn’t like his tone or his words. “Y-You’re not s’posed to use adult words near me. Dad said so.”

“Yeah well Henry isn’t here right now so I don’t really care. Now come pick up your bag miss!” He clicked his fingers at it and oooh that really riled Emma up! “This isn’t your home either!” Emma sniped. She stomped her way across the hall and back in front of him. Instead of picking up the bag she watched him leaning down on his knees, his nostrils flaring heavily and eyes angry, and she kicked her bag to nudge into his shin.

With a slow breath, he stepped over the bag and leant over Emma with a frozen frown. “Stop being such a little bitch.”

Emma reeled inwardly at his whisper, but all she did on the outside was blink. Blink until she smiled up at him, knowing she’d caught him. “I’m going to tell my daddy you said that.”

Then Tony’s hand reached out and lightly smacked Emma across the cheek.

Emma stumbled back. She held her hand to her cheek, it was warm, it stung, it was the feeling she always used to get but she wasn’t used to anymore. No. No no no no no. She had to tell dad! He wouldn’t let that happen to her anymore he-

“You’ve been a very bad girl little Em.”

Emma looked up to him and her knees wobbled as she made eye contact.

“I’m going to have to tell Henry.”

“No!” Emma screamed!

So Tony raised his hand again, not actually going for it but when he saw her flinching and realised just how badly his threat of telling Hidgens had affected her, he got less angry. And he smiled. “He won’t want a bad little girl, will he?” He manipulated.  
Emma couldn’t tell Hidgens. She was good. Tony couldn’t tell him she was bad!!  
“He’ll have to throw you back where you came from.”

And with that, Emmas soul just broke.

Hidgens walked through the door after a long day of test invigilator duties and was happy to just get home to a peaceful house. To his daughter and hopefully his boyfriend getting along. He walked into the kitchen to see his boyfriend smiling, relaxed and he smiled back. Then he looked behind him and saw Emma mopping the last section of the large sparkling kitchen.

“Emma what are you doing?!” He asked horrified. He went over and immediately picked her up onto his hip and took the mop from her hands, peering to her face with shock and horror. 

Tony stood up now, and he had a smile on his face, the family divided from him by a slippery wet spot, so he stayed in place, and his smile stayed there too, why shouldn’t it? He’d made things go well. “Oh she wanted to surprise you by being useful around the house!” He said pleased.

Hidgens turned his face to whisper lowly to Emma “Emma darling I told you you never have to be a slave, you don’t need to do anything for me!” Then span and said out loud for Tony to hear too “Yes well that’s not what we do around here. She’s a child, she doesn’t have to be ‘useful’.”

Emma looked over from her dad- her protetctors face- and saw Tony glaring. And she got scared. “Hidgens it’s okay!” She told him, turning to face him, not liking that she was at eye level right now. “I- I did the cleaning good!”

That didn’t make Hidgens feel better. It made Hidgens scared. _She’d reverted. She wasn’t calling him dad..._

He almost scoffed. Hidgens looked to Tony then turned his back to him, speaking now just to his poor daughter. “Emma that’s not the point darling, you don’t have to do any of it.”

He put Emma down soon after that, and pat her back to let her know she could run off and play, he had to talk to Tony and ask him how picking her up went, which it didn’t seem she should really be there for. 

Something unfortunate happened after that though. Whenever he tried to hug her after putting her down she didn’t allow them. It was the first time since their ‘fight’, where she tried to get him to leave to save him, that had ever happened. 

He came to the library where he found Emma hanging out after briefly speaking to Tony, he was quite eager to get back to her and check up. 

“Hi sweetheart.” He came up behind her and went for a hug to calm her, wrapping his arms over her shoulders, like normal. 

But Emma wouldn’t allow it.

He thought she was repositioning herself at first, trying to turn around to hug him back, so he didn’t let go. Emma was wiggling with her back to him, trying to move his arms like his touch burned. “Mmfh...” she whined too low to hear, then the smallest “no.”

That’s when Hidgens got it. Confused, he unwrapped his arms from round her and backed up “Oh... sorry.”

He watched her run off out of the library and away from him and slumped into his armchair disheartened. Throughout the day he tried hugging her over and over again. Slow, showing what he was going to do beforehand. But every time, Emma whined and wriggled and even pushed him away.

Hidgens didn’t understand.

Emma was a mess the rest of the day. After her dad kept following her around she went to her room and stayed in there as long as she could. 

While in her room, she got a small backpack and packed clothes from the back of her closet, she had enough clothes she didn’t think Hidgens would notice any of it missing, and other stuff she needed but wouldn’t be spotted as gone, she didn’t want Tony to notice so she couldn’t let her dad know, after all, she didn’t want to upset him. She hid her backpack when she was done but that was her only solace. Apart from that all she could I do was lay down and think and that just made her feel worse.

She slowly made her way downstairs for dinner when she was called, not that she ate much. She saw Hidgens had made his homemade garlic bread too, he knew she _loved_ that more than anything, and he was trying so hard it made her heart hurt ; she nibbled at the edges of the bread to distract from it. Apart from her occasional chewing sounds, that she tried to keep on lockdown anyway, she was silent.

To attempt to get her to talk, Hidgens wasn’t afraid to bring this up.

“You’re very quiet tonight Emma.” He said it quietly himself, as if he spoke too loud he’d scare the room. Emma just shrugged, she continued to not eat anything at all and instead just move the food around on her plate. Finally she spoke up, but only to ask “May I please leave the table?”

Unwillingly, but happy she just said _something_, Hidgens nodded and watched her run off upstairs again. His own fork clattered onto his barely empty plate, only having eaten any at all to hope Emma copied, and his head fell into his hands.

He heard Tony getting out of his seat, felt his hands on his shoulders, but Hidgens still couldn’t bring himself to move.

“She’s been like that since I picked her up from school.” Tony told him. Hidgens winced, the motion covered by his hands. He let Tony continue. “Do you think it’s her little friend?”

Hidgens looked up from behind his hands now. “Who Paul? No I cant see that.” They were best friends. Paul had stuck up for Emma when her birth father came over and Hidgens liked the lad for that, he’d been a good friend when she needed one and seemed like a sweet boy.

“Well sometimes kids can say things and not understand they’re mean.”

Sighing, Hidgens gave up. “Maybe, I’ll talk to his parents.”

But right now, he wanted to talk to Emma first.

He went to her room but didn’t see her in bed, he saw the light peeking open from the doorway of her en-suite and rapped his knuckles lightly against the door. Emma had left it open enough for him to see she was just brushing her teeth and now had finished, so he walked in. “Oh, you’re brushing your teeth already? ...Well... good girl.” He assumed she just needed an early night and he wanted to praise her for anything and everything!

Hearing that phrase made Emma’s heart leap though. She _was_ a good girl, she wanted Hidgens to keep thinking that. But this was her subtle way of showing something was wrong, not wanting Hidgens to be suspicious but still wanting him to _know._ She set her toothbrush down and took a step away from the sink. And then her knees buckled and she fell to the floor. 

Well, into Hidgens lap. He’d sacrificed his own knees sliding onto the ground to capture Emma before she fell on the tiles. Moments later Emma turned her head and threw up into the open toilet, throwing up what little food she had eaten from her plate. Hidgens held his hand to her clammy forehead, speaking to himself “oh my god” before Emma’s eyes rolled back into her skull and she fainted, all from stress. Not that Hidgens knew that.

A few minutes later, Emma started to stir. Hidgens had her in his lap and he was sitting on her bed. He was holding her to him. His hand was pressed to her forehead and he was crying on top of her head.

When she started moving, he realised she was awake. “Oh, Emma!” He quickly wiped at his eyes and sniffed, bending his head down before asking “Are you alright?” Clearly she wasn’t, but he needed to know if she felt like she’d faint again. Although before she could answer, Hidgens sadly, but wanting to do what he thought she’d prefer, took her off of his lap and placed her down on her bed, standing up to give her space.

He asked a few more questions before he left for one minute to get some kids tablets and a glass of water.

Just as he promised, he was as quick as possible, and even with how big their house was it only took him a minute or so. Still he knocked on the door and when he entered a second later saying “It’s me dear” he saw her eyes widen, terrified, but she did calm once she saw it was him, she was less stiffened and let go of her literal security blanket. He was glad to know he didn’t scare her, but he desperately needed to know what did.

He set her medicine and water down on her table, and then slowly sat down on the edges of her bed. He just wanted to hold his baby, but he lifted a stuffed rabbit she had on her bed, and played with is floppy ears instead. He looked up to the ceiling, down to the toy, back to her and sighed. “Emma you know you can tell me anything, right?”

She nodded, but the more he prodded, no matter how lightly or supposedly subtly, the more she got upset and shut down, shut herself out from him. 

So he decided to leave it for tomorrow morning, let her sleep, but with one last question. “Emma can I hug you?”

“No.”

It did take lots of consideration from Emma in her head, but only one second to flat out tell her dad that.

So Hidgens conceded. He started to close the door behind him once at her doorway, but paused, and blew her a kiss. “Goodnight. I love you.”

Emma told him “I love you too.” But she did not say it while looking at him. This of course, made Hidgens smile at the doorway contain nothing but sadness. He honestly thought she didn’t mean it. But it was just too hard for her. 

Hidgens walked slowly down the hallway until he was audibly out of range, and then he slid down the wall and he cried.

Emma would not be tucked in tonight, no story, no kiss, nothing. Emma decided earlier in the day, it was not safe here. But of all her plans she came up with, she knew she was not going back to her parents. Even if that’s what she deserved. She called herself a coward for it. 

Emma still trusted and loved her father. But, well, his partner mattered more than her. This belief was stemmed from an upbringing with her parents and her own fears, combined with just not wanting to ruin his life. She loved him too much.

So, there was only one person left she really trusted.  
And that’s who she’d go to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. Emma’s life can’t be all fluffy after Hidgens, and unfortunately it isn’t
> 
> And it’s 1/2 because I’m doing a second part to this specific chapter next chapter so there will be an ending to this storyline
> 
> Sorry for sadness but please please lmk what y’all thought of this chapter!! Feedback really helps!  
Tysm for reading and stay safe y’all 💕


	23. Not Jealousy That Fuels Her Hate (2/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued on from last chapter, Emma goes to the last person she can trust, to get away from what had happened, even if that means she gonna miss Hidgens more than anything... Even if she might be seeing him sooner than she plans

The walk was dark, cold, far and scary. She ignored anyone who tried to talk or whistle at her, she just kept walking with her backpack strapped to her back and her chin held high.

The scary voices of men, although much much younger than her dad or Hidgens, stumbled out of a bar together, and Emma’s face froze locked to theirs for a moment, until one man caught her eye. Then she picked up the pace and speedwalked. 

“Hey...”

She ran behind a bush. 

“HEY!”

“SSSSHHH! Adam keep your... keep ya fuckin voice down alright?” Emma heard one of the other men say, very slurred. They were drunk, they were scary. But the man, Adam, who was the drunkest of all, had spotted her. “Hey no but- th-“ he paused and swallowed “there was a baby with luggage right there!” 

“Alright dude you’re fuckin drunk.”  
And apparently the only one who had spotted her.

“No! I saw her!... hey guys maybe we should go help her?” Emmas blood ran cold, but she kept hidden and just listened to the groans from all his friends. “No, because if there is a kid there you’ve definitely scared them off... or... or you will- look I don’t know! All I know is that Beirkeller stays open till 3 so that’s our next spot!”

Emma listened to the shouts and laughs and drunken stumbles of all the men till they left out of her way. Then she popped up from behind the bush, made sure her backpack straps were still tight, and began on her way again.

On her way to the last person she could fully trust.

So she picked up some pebbles and lobbed them at Paul’s window.

It took a while but she wasn’t about to shout and wake up his parents. Eventually she saw his head peeking through the curtains and she waved her arms above her head like a mad person. Then Paul opened his window and, without leaning out, because of health and safety reasons, he projected his voice in a hushed whisper, his eyes only half open. “Emma, why are you in my garden?”

“Paul! I’ll tell you why but come down first! I don’t want your parents to hear me!” Too tired to question Paul shut the window and sleepily made his way downstairs, unlocking the door whilst rubbing his poor eyes.

But when he was in his garden Emma ran up to him and threw her arms over her best friends neck. That- and the cold- seemed to wake Paul up a bit, and he pat _his_ best friends back, only for when he pulled back, to see Emma was on the verge of tears. “Oh no, Emma what happened?!”

Emma explained everything, and when she did, Paul gasped “He hit you!?”

That was all he needed to hear. He took her hand gently up in his, his a lot warmer than hers from being safe and sound in his bed the rest of the night, Emma almost burst into tears and she held him back, he really would help her? “Don’t worry.” Paul smiled to her, opening his front door “I won’t let him find you ever.” 

He didn’t let go of her hand and turns out he had a practical reason, it was pitch black inside. Not that either were stupid enough to turn on a light when they were sneaking about. Paul walked Emma into the living room silently before finally letting go of her hand. Emma clasped onto her own hand instead, needing something to hold and not wanting to frantically reach out for Pauls.

“Stay here and ssh. I’ve gotta go get some stuff.” Paul said before sneaking off expertly around his home, finally a good spy. 

Emma was glad to wait on the warmth but she still wanted to cry. She didn’t like being alone, in the dark, especially not right now and especially not in somewhere that wasn’t her own home, it was scary.

But Paul came back as soon as possible with a blanket tied at the top and filled with items. Paul took her hand up in his as soon as he was close enough and Emma released the breath she didn’t know she had been holding. 

He only let go to start climbing the rope ladder to his treehouse, a big thing Emma secretly wanted, maybe she could ask Hid-

She got scared as Paul was at the top and she still found it difficult to go up one step. She was stronger than she used to be, she probably would be more if she ate her vegetables just like Hidgens had said, but she still had a lot of catching up thanks to her developmental years, not to mention her hands were shaking. 

“C’mon Emma.” Paul leaned down and put his hand out for Emma to hold onto. “You’re really close!”

Emma was happy he wasn’t babying her, nor was he bulling her. That’s why he was her friend. She got to her next step and then her fingertips could brush past Paul’s. But in a surge of something neither of them understood Paul bent down further from the landing and grabbed Emma’s hand, pulling her all the way up to the top with minimal footwork on her end. She fell into the opening of the treehouse and onto Paul’s legs, which he quickly removed so she’d feel more comfy. “Are you okay?” Paul asked Emma worriedly. Emma nodded, nearly out of breath, but more from all these feelings than he climb.

When they were both sat down Paul turned on the fairy lights in there, something that startled Emma. “Paul no! What if your-“

“My mommy and daddy’s bedroom is on the other side of the house, they can’t see.” Paul smiled down at her, giddy with his good job. Emma remained silent, watching him unpack the blankets, the food (all snacks) and one long pillow. But when he was done unpacking his haul Paul frowned and brought his hands up to his arms. “It’s freezing.” He noted. 

“It’s fine.” She deflected.

“But you said you were walking all night, your hands are so cold.” Paul said, taking her hand back up in his.

Emma shrugged, Paul’s hand was a lot warmer, and usually his hands were always so cold! She was a bit cold... but she didn’t want to get caught. So they did what they’d seen on nature documentaries, that was Emma’s excuse at least, and cuddled together. They lay on one blanket and shared the pillow, with the other blanket atop them, and Paul cuddled with her with his back to the open door, or space where a door would be in a normal building, since Emma was colder.

But soon both knew it was too cold, but too cold for the other. Emma asked if Paul was cold, he was getting all the wind and cold air after all. “A little. Are you?” He responded. 

“I’m alright...” then Emma realised they wouldn’t get anywhere warm when both refused to say they were cold, they just wanted the other to be warm, so she changed her answer “well no I am cold Paul.”

So immediately Paul helpded her down the ladder, took up her hand in his again, and snuck her quietly through his house and into his room. 

Paul flicked his nightlight on when the door was closed, something he was a little embarrassed about letting Emma see, but was glad to have since it gave some light, but not enough to wake his mommy and daddy. 

He put down the spare blankets and pillows for a moment, deciding where Emma was gonna go. “Do you wanna share my bed?” He asked. Emma shook her head. Paul thought to himself a moment. “Well you can sleep in it tonight if you want. I’ll sleep somewhere else.”

Emma shook her head. “No. I could get caught.” Now Paul understood. He looked to all the space in his room and saw that Emma could get caught anywhere, but he wasn’t shunning her to the cold treehouse again. Then he saw one dark spot. And he suggested it. “Why not sleep under my bed?”

Emma started getting some bad flashbacks. Running to be under her bed, trying to be faster than her dad. Laying under there and praying for a miracle as his thick hands lashed under her bed, where only she could squeeze. The night he ripped her bed up from where she lay under it to hurt her. But she wriggled under Pauls bed anyway. 

It was slightly more spacious than her one at her old house; enough so she could roll over, and she could touch the bottom of the bed without bending her forearm, but Paul wriggled above her at the poking so she stopped.

The next thing Paul did was drape the blanket over the side of his bed facing the door, so the space was covered and anyone walking in couldn’t see Emma. And then that was it. Emma was in Pauls home, hidden, and she had no idea what she was going to do now. She was laying under a bed, in fear of going back home, somewhere she could never go again, even though she missed her dad so so so much already. Other thoughts ran through her head including something so comforting she’d left at home and soon enough, Emma was crying. It was quiet, like all her cries were, like she was trained to do, unless she was really in danger, but she still heard from above her Paul whispering “Don’t cry Emma.” She stopped for a second. “It’s okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Emma sniffed before saying “No, I left Ted at home.” She’d only just realised it. She was so busy trying to not make it look like she’d run away, make it look normal, and as she was about to go to sleep, on a very hard night, she just wanted to cuddle Ted and go to sleep, but the she realised her arms were empty. 

Paul knew Ted was her toy, he’d heard Emma talk about him before and remembered when she bought him in for show and tell, only Paul was allowed to touch him, not even the teachers could. 

Emma heard scrambling over her and then felt the bed dipping. She kept her eyes open and eventually saw a hand reach down from her side of the bed, the side that wasn’t covered by the blanket, and she reached out to take the stuffed dinosaur that was in it. 

“It’s a long necked Brachiosaurus.” Paul told her, his hand retracting. Emma stroked down its neck, turning it slowly over in her hands. After a few seconds of silence, Paul piped up quietly again. ”You can have him for now.” So Emma thanked him and brought the stuffy close to her chest and cried into the dinosaur, squeezing tight and imagining it was Paul or even better, her dad.

“Goodnight.” Paul said innocently and after a few seconds, Emma stopped sniffling and felt just some peace wash over her body, as her eyes drifted closed whilst looking up at the bed where her best friend lay “Goodnight.”

In the early hours of the morning both children were woken by the sound of Paul’s parents coming in the room.

For a second Emma panicked when she woke up under a bed, was she at her old house?! Then she heard Paul’s parents voices and a wave of relief washed over her... until a second later and she froze under the bed, the draped blanket still covering her, and feeling the dip of Paul’s mum sitting on his bed and realising she had to be absolutely quiet.

“Hey Paul, baby.” Paul’s mother started. Paul woke up sleepily, starting to get ready for school on instinct when his mother sat him down again. He looked over to see his dad watching him from behind his mommy and Paul was very confused. His mommy took his hands and told him very sadly “Now sweetie, we don’t want you to get upset... but your friend Emma has gone missing.”

Paul remained silent, he buried his head but that was about it. 

“Her dad realised about midnight when he came to check on her.” His dad started, and Paul fiddled with his hands as his dad vomited information out at him “and they don’t know if she’s run away, or been taken, or by who, the police are questioning her biological father.”

When Paul still didn’t say anything he watched his mommy elbow his dad from the corner of his eyes. He started to hyperventilate now. So when his mommy opened her arms and slid him onto her lap, he let himself be rocked like a baby again, her hand running through his hair and her wrist smelling of that nice perfume she always wore. “Oh we’re really sorry Paul.”

Paul felt a pit of guilt and fear in his stomach, but said nothing. His mother continued which made it easier to stay silent, he wasn’t a good liar. “We’re going to join the search party and we thought, well if you want to take the day off school, to help?” 

“But we also wanted to ask you sport, just because you’re such a good friend, if you have any idea where she might be. Or where she might go? If she mentioned running away before?” His dad, asked more methodically. 

Paul could remain silent by just shaking his head no, but now his whole body was shaking, like it had done the night before but now it was properly noticebale, especially on his mum’s lap.

So of course his loving and doting mother did notice. She brought her gentle hand to his forehead and noticed how pale and clammy he was, and still freezing from last night, where he’d gotten a little ill.

“Oh honey did you leave his window open?”

“No. No I’m sure I didn’t.”

Paul just wanted his parents to leave. He wanted to talk to Emma and plan and cry and break down.

And eventually, while saying maybe he should stay in bed before joining the search party, they did leave.

That’s when Emma crawled out from under the bed and jumped onto Paul’s. His face worried her. She brought her hand out and held his “It’s okay Paul.”

But Paul was not okay. He was barely breathing. “What if the police take me away?” He asked Emma, or at least she thought he did, he was looking at the wall, but she at least had a smart answer for that one. “Paul, you’re six, they’re not gonna do that.”

Paul turned to her now, with wide eyes. “What about my mommy and daddy?”

Emma shook her head ‘nuh-uh!’ shaking Paul’s hands with her. “No one took me, I just turned up here, It’s okay, you’re protecting me.”

And Paul did feel better being reminded that he was protecting his friend, he was doing all this for a good reason. But unfortunately a kid panicking and the other desperately trying to calm him meant they forgot the most important thing, to stay quiet.

“Oh God Paul.”

Paul and Emma both screamed at his mothers voice, jumping further when they saw both his parents, looking a mixture of disappointed, dismayed, and cross with their arms folded, in the doorway, and Emma and Paul shifted closer to each other, knowing what came next.

Paul and Emma were clinging onto each other throughout the wait for the police, they were both shaking and intermittently crying, sometimes at the same time. Paul’s parents were very mad but they looked to each other and silently agreed to hold in a telling off while Emma was there because the poor girl looked horribly frightened. 

When everyone heard the slam of a car door and a police radio the parents saw the pure terror in the children’s faces and they assured the kids that the police weren’t going to lock either of them up, although both was more worried for the other. That’s when Emma finally spoke, starting off in a panicked shout. “It wasn’t Paul’s fault!! He was being a good friend! He was helping me!” She tried to save Paul after the fact, and Paul’s bit bottom lip did slightly fall open. And just before the police entered the back garden where they all stood they begged and pleaded with the parents “_Please_ don’t let us not see each other again.”

With a look to each other and then back down to the kids, to their son holding onto the only long term friend he’d ever had like both their lives depended on it, they sighed. “No, of course not.” His mom conceeded, with his father pinching the bridge of his nose and adding “But a week break would be good.”

When the police entered the garden they spoke to Paul’s parents for a little while longer, before one of them came up to Emma, and his female partner took Paul to the side, they grasped their hands out for each other and Emma whined as he was dragged away looking really scared, but the policemen knelt down to her and told her “Don’t worry, we just need to talk to you and your friend, you can go talk to him in a minute if you’d like, okay sweetie?” Emma finally looked to the policeman, he had a very friendly smile he constantly kept on and Emma liked that. She nodded, and he took up her hand gently and started leading her to his police car. “Do you want a juice box?” He asked, pulling one out “I always keep one for my kids on here, but I’m sure they’ll let you share.”

Emma hadn’t actually drank anything since school yesterday, so she slowly but eventually nodded, and the man brought a mango drink out, one of those expensive brands, and let her keep the sticker on it as he asked her a few questions.

When he wasn’t getting very far he tried something else. “Have you ever started a police siren?” He asked, kneeled on Paul’s pavement outside the car while Emma sat in the passenger seat. 

Emma’s responses were mostly non verbal, or just a few short words, but she was responding faster, she shook her head after a second only of consideration. No, she never had. He smiled and pointed to the cars interior. “That little button there.” 

Emma looked to the button, and her fingers inched towards it, then back to the nice officer to make sure it was truly alright. He nodded and she leant toward and flipped the switch. She jumped at first with the loud wailing siren and the lights, but then she started to giggle giddily, she’d never done that before, no one she knew had! 

She quickly and politely turned it off though, and looked back to the officer with the smallest of smiles. 

The police were there a few minutes before Hidgens, but as soon as he got the call he drove like a maniac on his way there. And quickly enough, he made it.

When Emma saw Hidgens, she was scared he was gonna be mad at her and now really wouldn’t want her.

But he was just in tears. He stumbled towards her, sobbing and covering his mouth when he fell to his knees, Emma ran he last few feet to him and he grabbed her body like his life depended on it and pulled her into a tight hug, rocking her from his kneeling position. “EMMA HIDGENS YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH!” He sobbed out, not angry just anguished. And now Emma was wailing too. “Please don’t yell please I’m sorry daddy I’m so sorry...” Both were crying heavily now, just holding the other. Hidgens shushed her as she begged him not to be mad. “Ssh ssh I love you so much. I’m not mad darling I promise I’m not angry at you. I was so scared something had happened to you.” His fingers clawed through her hair shakily and Emma could only hiccup breaths as she cried into his shoulder messily. He just couldn’t believe she was... back. “Oh God _Emma_.” And on her name his throat got watery and his voice broke.

They both spoke to the police more separately and then finally Hidgens was allowed to take Emma home.   
As he opened her bedroom door Hidgens was holding Emma to his chest, and she’d wrapped her arms tiredly around his neck the whole time. Hidgens put her down but sat on her bed right beside her, letting her grab his much larger hand with her two small ones and fiddle with his fingers, exhaustedly and anxiously.

Hidgens had had no idea what had happened to her. He went in to check on her at midnight, see if she was having a nightmare or anything, just check she was breathing okay like he always did, but when he got closer to the bed he saw it was much too thin underneath. He searched through the quilt and blanket like a madman, his cries of “no” getting louder and more panicked as he realised the startling truth that she wasn’t in her bed. He went around the entire house screaming his lungs out for her, Tony searched too, but after going around all open areas of the house once he called the police so as to waste no time. He didn’t know if her birth father had stolen her, if a random kidnapper had come through her window and done so, maybe for a ransom since his stupid house showed part of his wealth or maybe because that’s how he got his sick kicks, if she’d run off she could have been stolen away then, or hit by a car, or froze to death. He just had no idea and no answers. But now he knew where she had been, even though going out so late alone was dangerous, she was smart enough to go somewhere safe, he had an answer. But the answer to _why_ she had run away was nowhere in sight, because he had yet to ask the question.

“Emma was... was what you were upset about yesterday... did that make you want to run away?”

Emma seemed to shut down at the questioning, but even she knew it would come. She slid further down into her mattress and bashed her head upsetly against Hidgens hand, like she used to do. Hidgens didn’t like when she did that so he removed his hand and sat her up properly. This time Emma snuggled into Hidgens shoulder which he didn’t mind, until he realised she’d started hitting her head against that too. He took her cheeks between his hands as gently but firmly as he could, and her face shook whenever he spoke. “Emma. Please.”

He removed his hands after she sighed and he waited patiently for a response. What he got wasn’t an answer to his question, but rather a hint. “I wasn’t running away from _you_.”

He nodded, letting her know she was doing a good job. “But something else?” Judging by her body language, no. “Someone else?” Presto, that was it. Maybe a teacher? If someone else had been abusing her after she escaped all that... he feared he may do something reckless. How long had this been going on? She’d only seemed to change yesterday so he could _hope_ it was a one time event. But there was one last thing he could do before reverting to hopes and prayers. “_Please..._ Tell me what’s _wrong_.”

He did get a response. But not one he wanted. Emma looked up to him, to his sad desperate eyes and almost spilled everything, but her fear lurched up her throat as she opened her mouth to talk and her heart leapt. She looked away. “You won’t believe me.”

Now Hidgens got serious. And desperate. “Emma.” He took one hand out and stroked it down her face, then quickly changed to his hands on her shoulders and his head bent to take in a deep breath, when he looked up his eyes were dark, just not towards her. “I will always believe you, you can tell me anything, I trust you.” He took her arms and gripped lightly but desperately onto her. “I just want you safe.”

So Emma told him. She said exactly what happened with Tony without missing a detail. Hidgens nodded, his face not changing as he hung onto every word. So Emma decided it was okay to say after the slap about the manipulation, although she didn’t really know what manipulation was, but Hidgens did, and he was hearing every word of it. 

And after she was done, Hidgens asked if she was sure she had nothing else she wanted to say, before he stood up. 

“Wh-Where are you going?” She asked unsure. She wanted him to stay with her. But his response made her let him go, as he told her stone faced “I’m going to get rid of him.”

Emma crawled to the end of her bed, following him as he walked. “What? You believe me?” Desperate, he went onto his knees and grabbed her hands to hold them, his face full of nothing but fear. “Emma why do you think I wouldn’t??” 

She didn’t even really know, she squeezed his hands as he held her own as best she could and tried to answer. “I was just scared, because you love him right?” 

“No, not right. I love you, and only you.” Emma looked up into his eyes at that, he scrambled forward on his knees and brought her knuckles up to his face to kiss over them. “Even if there was anyone else, you’re more important to me than life itself and no one would ever change that.” Then her dads eyes got all glossy like they sometimes did and he whispered, although there was no one around to whisper from, he whispered “I don’t think I could’ve gone on if they hadn’t found you...” Emma was about to ask what he meant, confused, when he interrupted. “Please tell me you can tell me if anything like that happens again?” His eyes were the scary wide now, and even though his hands squeezed... they were always gentle.

“Yeah.”

Hidgens went downstairs. He’d texted Tony originally, just to let him know they’d found Emma. He’d asked him not to come over, to let him have some family time, that Emma may just want, just need, him right now. But of course he was at the doorstep anyway. Well the doorstep to the outer gates, not to Hidgens and Emma’s home.

“Henry? What’s the hold up. Come on open the gates.” Tony yelled as Hidgens approached the gates. Hidgens would have stayed outside them, and he almost did, but he needed to confront this man. He turned the alarms off, opened the gate and shimmied through it, blocking Tony from entering before shutting the gate behind him.

Before Tony could ask, Hidgens already didn’t want to hear it. “You need to go. I’ll send you your things tomorrow.” He didn’t really know if he would, he might just burn them, but he wanted him to know-

“What the hell are you on about now?”

Hidgens grit his teeth, he could barely look at this man without wanting to do some damage only his lawyer could take care of. “It’s over. You need to leave and never bother me or my daughter again. Right this instant.”

The silence helped Hidgens think the other was getting the message, but he was only met with a “What are you on something?”

Hidgens shoved the man further back as he approached him, and wiped his hands on his trousers to prove a point. Tony was glaring at him now, almost grunting, but that just fuelled Hidgens more extensive anger. He told him everything he knew.

What made it worse was when he laughed when confronted with it. “Oh you fucking idiotic pussy. That’s not abuse! That was barely a slap.” 

“WHAT?” Hidgens roared, outraged a person could act like this. It was taking all hsi strength willpower and heart to not strangle this man before him right now. But Tony either seemed to be going from laughing to rage. “It was just tactics, it got her to stop being such a brat!”

“DON’T YOU DARE CALL EMMA ANYTHING OF THE SORT!” It was like he didn’t even know what he’d done was abuse, in the psychical and psychological sense. Hidgens had never told him about Emma’s past except that she was adopted, and now he was more glad than ever. 

There was a lot of shouting, nothing psychical yet but Hidgens was not afraid to fight back one bit, he had a syringe in his pocket and limbs more powerful than they seemed from years of dance and working out. But towards the end of the argument, with that monster still refusing to call any of his actions manipulation or abuse, what they were, Henry Hidgens had one last thing to say to him. “I can see now that you manipulated me too. You made me think your child rearing tactics, which tortured my daughter, were better, by using my lack of self confidence against me, telling me I was a bad father when now I only am because I let you get in my head. Well not any more.” Hidgens slipped behind his gate and securely into his home with Emma and away from the man who was no longer allowed to set foot on this land. “I just wish I could have seen it all before.”

When Hidgens walked back in he was absolutely emotionally drained. But seconds later he was surprised as something ran into legs, but oh he’d felt that feeling before and he was already picking her up to face him better. 

“Oh daddy.”

Hidgens held Emma close to him, let her cuddle him and nuzzled his nose just like she did. He closed his eyes for one second and everything was perfect. Him and Emma. Just like it should always be. He didn’t need anything, or anyone else, as long as he had her.

“I was thinking.” He started. Emma moved her head back slightly, brought her palms up to her dads cheeks and patted them lovingly, traced out his cheekbones and kept touching him wherever she could. Hidgens eyes fluttered over all her features - except her eyes, and he gave her a smile. “I was wondering if you’d like to go on a trip to Green House Farm and get some of their world famous ice cream as a treat?”

Emma smiled and burst into laughter on his hip, and now her daddy was really smiling too! “Oh yes daddy. Can we bring our Disney cd too?”

‘Our’... “Yes of course we can silly billy! Come on let’s go get it and choose some tunes for the road sweetpea.” He kept her attached to him and took her to his music room, to the car, and kept his eyes on her in his mirror an almost dangerous amount of the time.

After yesterday and this mornings events, Hidgens was trying so hard to be smiley and have fun with Emma. After their ice cream, he booked a day at the new water park that was opening in Clivesdale soon, making sure Emma knew they’d be there opening day. Emma seemed to like the idea of a day out together, but she had a more exciting ask for right now. “Can we do some of grandmas cooking together?” That lightened Hidgens up. He loved hearing her say ‘Grandma’ in reference to his grandmother, she was really part of his family. Of course, he said “Yes!” immediately. When he leant down he asked “Now what would you like to make dear?” And Emma thought for a moment before looking up with her cheeky bright smile and saying confidentiy “Garlic bread.” 

They were making it together, but Hidgens kept having to turn away, he was trying to have fun and his eyes kept crying, why was he this bad? Was he not an actor nor a good father? At one point he choked out, without even knowing what he was thinking of that made him react so.

Emma stopped beating her dough, as in literally punching it, when she heard the strange noise from next to her. She turned to look up, but he wasn’t looking at her. Her heart started to feel tingly. “Daddy?” 

He quickly blinked to check he was dry eyed, and turned to her chuckling “Oh no I was laughing dear! You know when you get a joke or funny story stuck in your head?” He quickly excused, even if Emma hadn’t asked or possibly even suspected he’d been crying. But it seemed to work as she giggled, clearly thinking of something herself and said “Yeah” to confirm it.

She was bored of baking for now and wanted love and to give love, by climbing into Hidgens arms and onto his hip, using her barstool as leverage as she buried her head just into his collarbone and sighed peacefully, this was her good place. She didn’t feel his arms around her just yet but she was sure that was fine, she told him peacefully “I’m gonna take a pause for one min, I wanna cuddle you.”

Hidgens was more than happy with that arrangement. He wrapped his arms around her once he’d regained consciousness of sorts, and swayed with her, every time she was in his arms it felt right, safe, precious and now lucky too, he had her back and she was safe, and she loved him. Still, after everything.

Emma peeked her head up as her dad pat her back and asked “Do you want me to finish for you?” Pointing to her dough. “No.” She quickly told him, scrambling back into her seat and sprinkling the flour on before handing her dad the rolling pin. She smiled as he thanked her and ruffled her chefs hat before beginning to roll the dough out. Something which Emma made a game of. When his hand rolled out with the pin Emma leant down and quickly pecked his knuckles. Hidgens looked to her with a surprised coo, before rolling again with his eyes trained on her, and then she tried to catch his hands for a kiss again. It was a real win for her that her dad seemed to like her new game too, he knew the rules and everything! She giggled as he’d occasionally speed up, slow down, or roll in different angles, all the while she played her game of trying to kiss the back of his hand.

Hidgens let Emma pick her own bedtime that night. It was only when she was dozing off in the middle of sentences did she finally agree to let him carry her upstairs. On one condition. “Daddy?”

He still managed to hear his name through her massive yawn, and picked her up into his arms, not on his hip, but carried her almost unconscious body, one arm under her shoulders and one under her legs. “Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

But before she could hear his reposnse her head fell against his chest and she crumpled up in his arms, fats asleep. Hidgens grew watery eyed, and still gave her her goodnight kiss as he leaned down and pecked her head, letting out a wavery “Of course dear.”

He opened his bedroom door with his hip, sure not to jostle Emma and didn’t turn any lights on so as to not wake her, like a sleeping princess. He lay her down in his massive bed, tucked her all under the thick quilt and gave her another goodnight kiss, like he always did when she was fully tucked in for the night. He still emotionally sang her a song to help her sleep, his voice incrementally falling into whispers, and when he eventually forced himself to leave her for the night, getting too emotional for her good, he told her “Goodnight” at the door and silently closed it behind him.

When Emma woke up it was pitch black in her room- no wait... her dads room. It was very quiet, and she knew the reason she woke up was the funny feeling in her stomach.

So there was only one thing to do. She had to go find her father. She jumped out of his massive bed, literally jumped just a bit, and made her way downstairs, following her gut, not that she knew what was leading her. When she got to his study, the door was closed but her heart told her to crack it open, and when she did she found Hidgens sobbing into his arms.

Emma was absolutely shocked. She froze in horror at the door. Until listening to him cry got too much and she whimpered out “Daddy” running to crawl onto his lap, patting his cheek as his jaw hung open and whining as his tears wet her hands.

She watched his face turn and twist and then he started crying hard again. “Oh I’m so sorry Emma! I didn’t mean for you to see me like this.”

Emma didn’t understand quite what he meant, because everyone cried and they couldn’t hold it, she just didn’t think her dad ever cried. She nuzzled into him, trying her absolute hardest to cheer him up. “Daddy why are you crying?”

She watched him go to not answer, but her head bobbed to keep his eyes on her, her palm still on his cheek and angling his face ever so gently when he looked away. Until it all got too much and she watched him cover his face with his hands, cover his face until he howled out “I’m a terrible father!”

“No!” Emma shouted horrified, panicked. She started to cry now, because she’d never seen her daddy like this and she didn’t like it. She loved her daddy why was he crying, why was he saying things like this??

“I promised I’d protect you and I let you get hurt” Hidgens choked out, his head bent, before shifting up straight and moving Emma to lay more comfortably on his lap, better in a position for him to hold her like his baby rather than her comfort him as he quickly shot out “But that will never happen again, I’ll never let anyone near you like that again.”

His eyes were that wide wild again, but Emma just didn’t mind anymore. 

Even though they were wilder and more far gone than they ever had been before.

He sniffed and sobbed, as he caressed her cheek and down her hair, and Emma made her way to comfort him. She reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, passing it to him with kind, watery red eyes. Taking his chin which is all she could reach from her almost laid down position on his thighs he put her in, she angled his head downwards and more towards her so she knew he was paying attention. Because she was about to tell him her biggest secret. “I couldn’t have wished for a better dad, when I wished for an angel to come save me.”

And with those words, Hidgens knew what she was saying was true. After all, his child was not a liar. He thought about the words as he took her back into bed, and as she made him promise to stay and he lay with her, cuddling her until the sun rose. He was a good father, he had always been one, and always would be. Even if it led to him being more paranoid and protective throughout her teenage years and life in general, he would **always** be there, to save Emma. No matter _anything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... anyone else’s uni cancelled like mine? We were one of the last in the country, at least I can write more... right? Haha silver linings. I don’t think i’ll be as great as when Shakespeare wrote King Lear while quarantined but hopefully I can try and write more
> 
> Stay safe y’all 💕
> 
> But ANYWAYS I hope you liked this chapter, pls actually let me know aha. I greatly appreciate any and all comments you have no idea, and they’re especially motivating! Thank you sm for reading and hope you’re all doing well


	24. Happy Easter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanted an Easter chapter bc I saw a picture of a baby in a chick costume and it looked so fuckin adorable I wanted to crack something out for these two

“Dad, do you think the Easter bunny’s gonna come?”

Hidgens looked up at her voice from where he was grading papers, smiling at her as she lay tummy down on the floor with her paper, pencils and crayons. “Yes of course he is darling.” He promised. Then he put his papers aside and walked over to Emma, sitting cross legged by her. “What’re you drawing dear?” He smiled.

Emma scrambled to sit up and placed her two drawings she’d done into his hands and the one she was working on now she held in her own. 

Hidgens went through them with a growing smile “These are very good Emma dearest.” He cooed, looking over all their details and pointing out specific things he liked. One was of the Easter bunny, he had a big spotted bow and all the spots were different colours, but the main bow was yellow, he was on grass holding a basket in his paw. The next was of a chick and a lamb he presumed, smiling from the page, a sun with sunglasses, the same colour as the bunny’s bow, smiling in the corner. The one she was holding now was a bunch of Easter eggs. All had varying patterns and colours and he cooed interestedly. “Can I?” He asked, holding his hand out. Emma nodded happily and passed it to him, biting her lip as her dad, who she just wanted to be proud of her, looked over her work. “I haven’t finished yet.” She made sure to point out, just in case.

“Oh Emma these are fantastic!” Hidgens beamed, before patting her back and handing her her unfinished drawing back.

Emma smiled, her cheeks pink. “You really think so?” She asked, but she knew the answer, she just liked hearing it again.

“Yeah! Hey, m- maybe I should draw some with you! If that’s not too intruding of course.” Hidgens quickly rectified, but Emma squealed and gave him a handful of her paper. “You can share my colouring stuff with me dad.” She offered earnestly, rolling them all to the middle as she got back onto her tummy, her legs happily kicking in the air. 

Hidgens gave a small chuckle as he ruffled her hair. “I’ll just go put these two up on the fridge and then I’ll join you, I won’t be long.” He watched as Emma nodded from her position, sticking her tongue out as she focused now. His hand slid from her skull to stroke down her hair before getting up and quickly sticking items onto his nearly full fridge, this is why he was keeping everything in boxes and folders. He was so proud he could leave the room and she wouldn’t run after him and cling on for her life, or even look back longingly or scared anymore. Oh he was ever constantly proud of Emma’s growth.

So he moved back to sit with her, followed her route and copying her body language as he lay on his tummy, and started drawing his own little Easter egg designs. He had to admit it was sort of fun, drawing but it’s nothing professional to sketch, just your own ideas and you can use as much colour as you want and when you’re done you just make another, calmingly colouring in the lines till you got the perfect shade. Mostly though, he felt close to his daughter.

“Wow, yours are really good dad. Really pretty.” Emma said as she peered over to his work. Hidgens gave a small laugh “Thank you dear, but it’s nothing compared to yours.” She’d done many eggs and had thought of a million designs and colour combinations. “Very creative.” He praised and she happily hummed to herself, wriggling closer till her legs were touching her dad as she lay down, he was now on his ass again because laying on his tummy hadn’t been as comfortable for him. But then, Hidgens got a very fun idea, of something for his Emma to pour her creativity into.

Hidgens brought Emma into the kitchen the next day, with his hands over her eyes. Emma giggled with excitement, holding his hands as she trusted him to walk her around the house without even thinking about it. Her dad said he had a surprise for her and she was excited! She’d tried prying his fingers open but he caught her. “Ah ah ah no peeking!” She giggled mischievously this time.

She kept a hold of him until he said. “Okay dear” and she felt his hands raise off her face. Looking to the kitchen table, she saw about a dozen eggs and lots of different coloured paints in pallets.

Emma’s head shot to his. Hidgens nodded. “I thought you might like to decorate these together.”

Emma smiled up at him, already clasping her hands and bouncing on her feet. Hidgens just couldn’t help but feel his heart soar whenever he saw he’d made his daughter smile. He ushered her towards her apron. “You said you’d never made a jack o lantern or gingerbread house, so I presume you haven’t done this either?”

Emma shook her head no, quickly getting on her apron before grabbing a paintbrush. “No. But I’ve seen it in movies!” She took her dad’s hand and lead him to the table, so they could start on their exciting new task, together.

Hidgens just got started. His first egg he traced stars with a pencil before starting but that was being too serious about the whole thing. His next he did wavy lines and every colour would fit perfectly like a jigsaw in its new wave. However, Emma took a long time to start. She stared at her egg and thought for a long while, and then when she started, she really paid attention to it. She’d pause and look to the wall, then get back to carefully constructing her egg.

Hidgens watched as she put more detail onto her egg, and it started to look very familiar. It was only when he looked to where she kept staring off to, he realised she wasn’t just spacing out to think, she was looking at a drawing of one of his eggs, that she’d put on the fridge right alongside his. She was painting his drawing. 

When he realised, he leant down and sweetly kissed her on the top of her head, stroking the back of her head with his thumb, a smile peeking out from his lips.

It was Easter morning and Emma jumped into Hidgens bed. He woke with a groan, as her hand launched itself into his stomach.

“Can we go to the garden?! Can we go see if the Easter bunny’s come!” Emma asked desperately. 

Hidgens groaned into his pillow. He grabbed Emma by the waist and lay her down on bed next to him instead. “Mmfh. Two more minutes?” He asked hopefully.

“Dad.”

Hidgens opened one eye now. She’d said it with a very serious tone. Emma was kneeling on his bed and held her hands to her hips. “I’m all for a snuggle session, but we need to go and see if the Easter bunny came. It’s very important!”

Hidgens oopened both his eyes now. After all, this was their first Easter together. “Okay you’re right, you’re right. Like always.” He flicked her chin up and she beamed. “Yup!” 

He sat up in bed, his quilt falling down his chest. But he was being too slow, why were all adults so slow? Emma took his hand up in hers and dragged him out of bed. “Come _on_ dad, we don’t have all-“

“All day, yes I know darling!” He repeated their little phrase together. But then he got his energy back after walking down the hall on his bare feet and the first thing he did was whip Emma up onto his hip, hearing a little “Oooh!” from her as she wasn’t expecting it.

“One last thing before we go.” He said. But Emma was getting feral. She clawed her hands out in the air and half-attempted to scramble out of his arm, but it stayed securely around her. He laughed “Come on, I have something I want to show you before you go outside, no one’s going to take your eggs.” He promised her.

Hidgens swung Emma around his back where her legs and arms held a different side of his hip, then he moved to a piggyback, leaning her down down as she laughed loud, the blood rushing to her cheeks before swooping her back up straight and spinning and running to the play room with her on his back.

When they got there Hidgens cleared his throat to stop him from giggling, and Emma placed her chin on his shoulder to watch him. He announced “Now Emma, there’s a present hidden somewhere in this room.”

“What?!”

“You’ve got to find it!”

“Woah!”

Emma jumped off his back faster than even he was expecting. “Thank you so much daddy!” She squealed, running around to start her treasure hunt. 

After two minutes only, he watched her run back to him, stand on a chair she‘d looked behind previously, and begin to climb onto Hidgens. But she didn’t stop at his back. He felt her hands covering his eyes and mouth as she scrambled further up, and he helped lift her onto his shoulders. “Emma, what are you doing? Don’t you want to search?” He asked.

But Emma kept her focus. “I am!” She protested. “But I bet you put it up somewhere really high where I couldn’t see, so I’m looking on you!” She justified. Hidgens laughed as he understood, he let her order him about, of where to look, and had fun watching her try. Then he asked “Would you like to play of game of hot or cold?” To try and help her.

Stupid idea really.

“No dad! I’ve gotta find it all by myself!” Emma told him stubbornly, crawling off of him when she was satisfied there was nothing on top of the shelves.

Then she turned to him with a smile during her search. “Hey dad, it’s like you’re the Easter bunny for presents, hiding it.” Hidgens just beamed proudly back.

Emma went to the costume cupboard in her playroom and! There it was! A white box with a dark blue bow wrapped around it. She squealed as she pulled it out, showing Hidgens excitedly. “I found it!”

“Well then open it!” He waved at her, watching her as she carefully took the bow off, placed it in her lap and opened the lid of the box. She almost screamed in delight when she saw what was inside. “A baby chick costume?!” It was so cute! And soft!! She stroked the material as Hidgens couldn’t help but clap. “Yes! Oh so you like it?” He kneeled on the floor.

Emma ran up to him with the box and bow. “I love anything from you. You always give me presents, thank you, you’re the bestest dad their ever was!” She quickly but gently placed the box down and ran to wrap her arms around his neck, feeling giddy as she felt him hug her back and she just sighed as she rested her cheek on his shoulder. Meanwhile Hidgens could absolutely have cried from hearing that. He probably would later tonight, replaying the words over and over as Emma slept, as long as he couldn’t twist them in his own mind before then. But he pushed that thought deep back down as Emma pushed the bow into his hands. 

He looked to the bow, then to her, tilting his head confused but smiling, before Emma asked “Can you put it in my hair?”

“Oh! Yes! That’ll be so pretty Emma!” Hidgens cooed, and Emma quickly turned around as Hidgens knelt up higher. He placed Emma’s hair in a high ponytail, very neat, like he’d learnt how to do from a hairstyling book he’d bought a while ago and now was an expert in. Then he wrapped the blue bow multiple times around her bobble till it was securely enough on there.

Emma went to run for a mirror before Hidgens stopped her. “Woah woah woah sweet pea! Don’t you want to get fully dressed up before you see what you look like?” He suggested, and Emma’s eyes bulged with excitement and anticipation at the thought.

Hidgens helped her into her orange and white striped tights, then into her one piece costume that involved a lot of wriggling but was a snug fit in the end. The yellow body was the same consistency as a stuffed toy, with tiny curls all over the material. It had a hood that fit on her head, with two beady black sewn in eyes and a small orange beak that protruded atop the headpiece. The finished product was Hidgens thinking his daughter was the most adorable, cute and sweet he’d ever seen her in his entire life. He was ever so glad she was still young enough to get adorable pictures like this.

He realised then the hood sort of covered her bow, but luckily Emma wasn’t tall enough for the closest en-suite’s mirror. So he got a desk mirror and showed her her hair, careful not to reveal too much of the costume. Emma gasped and awed over it, feeling it in her hair and saying how cool it was! Then when she saw the costume in the full length mirror in Hidgens room, which was closest, she absolutely lost it with joy.

She ran around the room in circles, laughing and saying things like “Imma lil chickadee! Tweet tweet!” Excited rambles spilling from her mouth.

He didn’t know where she’d heard chickadee before but it was fucking adorable hearing her say it, especially in that outfit and oh God he was cuddling her again. 

But Emma loved it. She wanted to cuddle him when she took a break from her bursts of excited energy. He was such a good dad, she loved him.

She looked up to him from where she held his legs. “Am I cuddly?” She asked with a soft smile. She hoped hugging her now, she’d feel extra cuddly, and that _meant_ she could get extra cuddles out of him. But Hidgens just responded with “You’re always cuddly.”

Emma giggled softly into his leg. “Haha yeah, but am I soft?”

“You’re always soft.”

“Daaad.”

“And you’re always adorable too!” Hidgens swept her up into his arms, pressing a kiss to her cheek to assure her he was done with his soppy teasing, although Emma was still giggling. “But damn if you don’t look just the absolute cutest right now!”

Once they were in the garden, his bright little Emma had already spotted a couple of eggs. “Dad, I see some!” She called out, letting go of his hand she’d been happily holding and adjusting her little woven basket in her arms.

He sat back in his lawn chair and watched her pick them up. She climbed the ladder to her blue plastic slide to get one on top of there. She almost sent a swing flying into her face as she rushed to get another. She explored her little wooden play area Hidgens had built entirely for her, and slid down the pole when that section was emptied, spilling a few eggs that way. Unfortunately when she bent over to pick them up, a few more toppled out her basket, Hidgens had to clap a hand to his mouth to stop him from laughing.

She went through the garden singing a little song to herself. “Easter bunny, Easter bunny.” Were the words, and it was adorable to hear her perfect sweet little voice sing them over and over. Hidgens couldn’t understand how some parents could find that annoying... Then he did remember some particularly rough car trips, but he’d always smiled until about an hour in of the same jingle and eventually put on a CD and she was happily singing to those songs instead. She just wanted to sing and she should! She had a lovely voice and he was so happy they shared their love for music.

When Emma had filled her basket with the small eggs, and had found all the big chocolate ones hidden, having let Hidgens protect them ‘like a dragon with treasure’ she referred to it as, which he loved, Hjdgebs was ready for something he really wanted.

“Say cheese!”

“Cheeeese!”

Hidgens took a picture of Emma, in her baby chick costume, with a basket full of Easter eggs, on her first Easter with him. And according to her, her best! This was being copied to go in the main photo album as well as the one for this season. His original one had been way overfilled a long time ago.

Then he let the camera hang from his neck, and helped her bring her hoard inside... he was proud to say it took the two of them more than one trip!

“Wow you found a lot!” He attributed the win to her, smiling as he placed the last down on the kitchen table.

That’s when Emma announced, to him and to the world “I’m gonna be a explorer!”

It wasn’t exactly what he was expecting. He thought she might be bold enough to try broadway as a career, maybe something sciencey like him too, maybe a doctor! But he was very happy this had inspired her so. “Well if that’s what you want dear.” He told her in all honesty, it was as long as she was happy, that was all he wanted for her and all she deserved. On second thought, maybe travelling away to explore far off countries had been something she’d been wanting to do before this Easter experience...

Emma broke his thought pattern as she offered him one of her eggs, noticing he’d only found one himself, and that one was a rich dark chocolate, something she didn’t even like, but he did for some reason! Oh well, lucky him!

She was glad he found something, but obviously her dad couldn’t be amazing and as great as her in absolutely everything, so she had exploring and finding things down, he had being a good dad for the win.

Hidgens smirked, he should have known this was coming, even though he bought hsimelf an egg to try and let her keep all of her prizes. But he decided not to fight it this time. “Oh thnak you dear.” He placed his hand on top of hers, giving her a blissed look before taking the egg out of its cardboard packaging and placing it on the counter. “How about we break it in half to split it, and we can have it for breakfast today?”

Emma’s smile just grew into a full out grin. “Yeah okay.”

Hidgens smiled, bashing the egg so it split perfectly down the middle, handing her her half before breaking his into smaller prices. Emma sank her teeth into her half and but a chunk out, just watching him for a moment. Before she put the egg down, and hugged his arm dotingly, looking up at him, that smile still on her face. “I love you dad.”

Hidgens smile grew till it matched her own, looking so alike, just like father and daughter. “I love you too Emma.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So smol Easter chapter! Look how big they’re growing!!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this lil chapter and (if you celebrate it) have a great Easter!
> 
> Stay safe y’all 💕


	25. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes another nightmare chapter pls don’t sue me I promise there was reasoning in my brain, except this time you get a little insight into what Emma dreams, and a side of Hidgens guilt

“Listen here you little bitch!”

“No daddy!” Emma didn’t want to listen to her dad! He was drunk again. He didn’t want her to listen, he wanted to _hurt_ her. 

Why did he always want to hurt her?

She covered her ears with her hands as he started yelling bad words. No no they were angry words, she wasn’t supposed to have this!!

She couldn’t move, even as her dad staggered towards her, giving her lots of time. She kept her hands clamped to her ears and eyes screwed tight. She knew _someone_ was coming to save her. They’d save her. They’d save her.

When she was frozen is when her mother came over. And for just a moment Emma was relieved, her mommy wasn’t worse than her dad, not consistently mean anyway. But then, Emma wanted to cry as her mom got behind her, and continually pushed her more towards her dad. Emma screamed.

“You’re a bad girl Emma!” Her mommy told her, stopping her pushing to look right into Emma’s eyes with her own sharp ones. “Why can’t you be like your sister? Hmm?!” She poked Emma’s chest with her sharp nails when Emma didn’t know how to answer. 

Then, when Emma looked over, she saw Jane had been there, watching the whole thing on the floor. And she was _smiling_.

Not only that but she was playing with Emma’s toy, a dinosaur doll. She had all her own, why’d she have to take what little Emma had?

“Are you sure she’s even yours mom?” Her sister asked, smirking to Emma and her mother having the same smile plastered back. 

“She’s not pretty, or smart, or good like me at all.”

This wasn’t usually her sister! Her sister was the only thing that made her family right. Her sister loved her!

Emma called out to her “JA-!” And watched as her sister smiled with direct eye contact, before ripping the head off her dinosaur doll. Emma cried out in anguish. A clean beheading with a rip that made Emma’s ears hurt.

Emma felt her mom’s claws back in her back, but only a second after recognising the feeling again, did her mom drop Emma. 

Emma’s tummy felt funny. She didn’t like it!

And Emma fell straight into her dads arms. But when she looked up up to his massive form, his eyes were void black. 

“You hurt my hand!”

Emma was shoved back and watched as he cradled his hand, glaring directly into Emma. 

She cried and cried. “No daddy I’m sorry I didn’t mean to!!”

“Stop lying you filthy brat!” He raised his hand and with a scream of pure pain, of what exactly she expected to come, Emma could finally run again. And she ran straight to the first and only place she could think of. 

She tried to slam her door, but a little part was let open, a little light from the hallway peeking in, letting everyone know where she’d hidden. But it was too late for that now. 

Emma had realised she had to hide under her bed. But this time was different. The space under it, where no one else but her could fit, because she was special, it was her sanctuary... it wasn’t working anymore. The space was so small her chest was squeezed and she could hardly breathe. She managed to kick her legs under, rolling until her shoulders and then her arms and head were the only things poking out. But she couldn’t pull back. Her head was poking out of her hiding spot. Even as she heard her dads footsteps getting closer, and closer, and closer...

~

Hidgens was walking upstairs to check on Emma when he heard the crying. He quietly opened her bedroom door and saw that she wasn’t just crying. She was writhing, her sheets all tangled, panting, yelling out, dripping with sweat.

“Emma?” He asked quietly. Then she kept sobbing.

“Emma?!”

He reached forward and shook her lightly, calling her name out to her so she could follow from the darkness, wiping away her hair from her slick forehead.

It was after the touch directly to her cheek, the stroke down, and to feel if she was running a temperature, that she screamed out again. The sound terrified Hidgens, so he chose to wake her. “Emma!” He took her shoulders and lightly jiggled. 

But Emma woke up in the darkness to a man shaking her. She screamed, louder now she was awake and started backing away. “No daddy! No I’m sorry I’m good!” Scurrying until her back hit her headrest. She stood up on her pillows, her hands grasping at the wall, blind.

Hidgens thought maybe the fear was because maybe she was scared she woke him? She worried she hurt him a lot recently. So he put his hands out to try and calm her, to lift her close and reassure her, and hold her. 

Instead, she buried her head into her hands. “Please don’t hurt me daddy I’ll be good! I’ll be good again please! Please please please...” And Hidgens heart broke.

He backed off before flicking her lamp light on and cooing “Emma dear?”

At the word ‘dear’ she uncovered her eyes, shaking, and looked over to see her real dad standing there.

A whimper escaped her wobbling lips. She tripped on her nighty but couldn’t go back to standing, so she crawled rapidly over to Hidgens, and just threw herself into his arms.

He sat down before picking her up under her legs and a hand on her back, cradling her to his chest. He tried to sit her down but she refused to even be on his lap, she wanted every part of her held by him, so he just rocked her like his baby, her arms tight around his neck, her face buried in the other side of his neck, between the dip of it and his shoulder. She shook and cried and her hands gripped tight into his skin, her fear still seemingly neverendingly there. Her dad had saved her. 

But why couldn’t the nightmares just _stop_?

He was happy she was starting to feel a little heavier now she’d been eating well. He noticed that as he lightly bounced her to hold his child better. Hidgens tried to get Emma to unbury her face and see her tear stains, but he couldn’t use his hands without dropping her onto his lap and she whimpered when he moved them away. So instead then, Hidgens brushed his daughters tears away with his nose in a nuzzling motion, and that helped her calm, eventually scrambling to sit in his arms and breathe into the top of his hair, where her nose had buried itself instead.

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight daddy?” She asked in a hushed voice, tired and hoarse. 

“Of course.” He got off her bed, not needing to lift her much more. Honestly, at he thought she’d fell asleep right in his arms for a moment.

But before he left her room, Hidgens noticed one big thing. Entangled with her covers, his missing grey scarf was there, something she’d clearly been using as a comfort blanket of sorts, snuggling up to, now she was using him to breathe, as a much better, stronger source.

When he opened his bedroom door with his hip, Emma still in his arms, he read his alarm clock as 10pm. He hadn’t been planning on going to sleep yet, but he would with her, for her.

He was able to easily hold Emma with one arm, her still clinging tight to his neck, as he untucked his sheets, lying down still in his clothes from the day, and setting Emma down too. But she would not be down. She lay on top of Hidgens body. Not just her head against his chest. She curled up and every inch was on top of him and he was her mattress. Hidgens wiggled her around until she wasn’t pressing into his stomach, and then lay one arm behind his head, the other covering Emma and him with the quilt before laying still against her back, and sighed. Even though in certain positions it was uncomfortable, in others he just fell in love with her all over again, he positioned her himself, slow to make sure he was allowed to move her, until she was laying flat on his torso, there he could stare at the ceiling, or down to his daughter, and he knew he would bear it.

It was an hour later. An hour of her just lying there and Hidgens stroking through her hair. She was breathing softer, slower, and her eyes instead of being scrunched up, were just simply pressed closed. But she wasn’t actually asleep. And she refused to. 

“Sweet pea, you’re gonna be so tired in the morning. You’ll feel better after some sleep.” Hidgens lightly suggested, bringing the covers back up to her shoulders to tuck her in again.

Emma shook her head again, not too exaggerated as her cheek lay against her dads chest. “But the nightmares.” Her eyes closed just a little tighter now.

Emma loved her dad, he really felt like the most important thing in her world, but even he couldn’t control what she dreamt about. But she wanted him to. She wanted her dad to be able to tell the bad dreams to go away, she just wanted to stay with him forever, where nothing could hurt them. In dreams her heart hurt and she was frightened, and sad, and weak, but when she was with her dad she was just _warm_.

Hidgens angled his head up, keeping his body straight for her, and kissed the top of her skull. “I promise, darling Emma, I promise, to protect you.” He said strongly.

Emma whimpered, opening her eyes now to look up at him. “...Will you wake me if I dream again dad?”

Her father nodded, his thumb lightly swiping over her eyelids, featherlight. “I promise Emma.”

But instead he sung to her, whenever she flinched, or tensed, or whimpered, or shuddered, or breathed a little too fast. He sung for her, his little songs he’d been working on about her, his lullabies his parents sung him. On top of that he tucked her hair in, smoothing down it, running his fingers through her scalp and massaging her head very lightly. All to calm his angel.

But he was not calm. In fact, if he didn’t think he’d shake his Emma with sobs, he may have been crying now. Or off doing a long think, maybe something a little more destructive. 

Was this his fault for trauma she had to relive with Tony?

That’s what it felt like. He had to repeat to himself every day since that heartfelt study chat with his precious child, he was not a bad father. He was a good father. Emma did love him. He was deserving of her love. He was good enough for her. He was not a bad father!

But Tony was a bad man. And Hidgens had let that bad man infect their lives, and let Emma get hurt. And now she was regressing in stages. She was having nightmares so much more frequently than she had been a month prior. He was devestated he’d let this happen. But it wasn’t his fault. Emma had pleaded with him to know that and he knew it now. He wasn’t filled to the brim with guilt anymore, he was getting on with being the best him for Emma and they were really getting back to being happy again. It just didn’t make it any easier to know she was still hurting.

Then, after two hours without any sign of disturbance, Hidgens lifted under her arms. He lifted just an inch, sensing her reactions, and she stayed soundly fast asleep. Without her waking, he gently moved her onto the bed, instead of directly on top of him, still though, just right by her side like she wanted. And when she sighed contentedly, he gave a small and peaceful smile knowing he’d done well. Laying back down, he curled up next to her instead, one arm resting on his pillows and thus just above her head, almost cocooning her, he took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers and feeling his whole body subconsciously just relax, and finally then, he went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I’ve been trying to get this specific chapter out since the second to last chapter aired (Easter was a special) but I wasn’t really feeling into writing smth like this, but the last two days I finally finished it off bc y’all deserve the next chapters
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and as always comments are greatly appreciated and a big help.
> 
> Stay safe y’all


	26. Schoolyard Bullies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul is suffering from a bit of a bullying problem, Emma stopped all that, but a day without her meant the kids made up for lost time. Well, Emma isn’t going to let her best friend be put down

Emma came into school that Tuesday, in her sweater and trousers, excited to tell Paul her secret. She was a bit late, so she was only ushered in by her dad a minute before the bell rang. She gave him a quick hug goodbye, and found Paul as she was going up the steps from the playground to the main door. 

“Paul!” He flinched at her shout before spinning around, and Emma giggled in apology as she skipped up to him. “Hey, so guess what?”

“What?”

“No silly billy, you have to guess!” Emma giggled again, walking with him as they went through the halls to their classroom, at least Paul helped with the bigger students in the busy halls. But today he just sighed. “I don’t wanna guess today Emma. I’m just gonna get it wrong.”

Emma lightly elbowed him in the side, missing his wince as she looked out for their door. “Shut up, I’ll give you a hint!” She said cheerfully.

But her mood didn’t seem to be effecting Paul. “Can you just tell me before we get into class?” He asked instead.

And Emma obliged. “Okay! So you know how I was off yesterday for being ‘sick’?” She looked around the halls, just to make sure no teachers were looking, before cupping her mouth and leaning into Pauls ear. “Well I wasn’t actually ill! My dad just let us have an extra day camping by the lake yesterday!” She felt so naughty and excited.

All day yesterday, and the night before when she’d convinced her dad, she couldn’t wait to tell Paul her little secret. But when she pulled away she saw Paul flinching away from her whispers. She dropped her hands. “Oh sorry, do you not like people whispering in your ear? My friend and cousin Gary, like, he gets really wriggly and says his ear goes all tingly, but it’s really funny.” She laughed small, mischievously into her hand. “He does a little wriggle like this.” And she showed Paul her flailing attempt in an effort to get him to laugh. But when Paul still didn’t laugh, she hooked her arm around his and walked into their classroom. “But I won’t do it to you if you don’t want.” She added more seriously, quieter.

“It’s not that. But thanks Emma.” Paul looked over to another table of his fellow classmates as he walked in, and swiftly unhooked his arm from Emma’s and sat down to be ready for the lesson.

Uneasy, Emma took her seat next to him, but she was frowning and pouting. She could tell, something was wrong. She just had to find out what.

Emma spent half the class watching Paul. She tried to work with him, make jokes, she even praised his work, saying stuff like “That’s so good Paul, you must be very smart!” Just like Hidgens. But Paul didn’t smile, barely talked, and he didn’t look Emma in the eyes. Nor did he with anyone, even his favourite teacher. 

When the bell rung, Paul packed slowly up, but when he was done Emma took his hand and dragged him down the corridor until they got to the girls toilets. “Wait here a sec, then I’ll come out for play.” She told him, and Paul nodded seemingly fine with that. But before she could even enter the door, a teacher came over.

“And what are you two doing? You should be outside.” She told them sternly. This teacher was a stickler for rules, Paul didn’t usually mind her, Emma thought she was an old toad. “I’m just going to the toilet, Miss.” Is all she said though, knowing she had an excuse.

But that just meant her narrow eyes went to the taller of the two children. “And what about you, Mr. Matthews. Are you a girl?”

“No.” Paul bowed his head. Emma could see his cheeks flaring underneath, and watched as he played with his hands, they got more fiddly when he was nervous and he was playing with them a lot right now. Emma took another step out the door, and towards the older classes teacher. “He’s just waiting for me, like a good friend.” She made sure to point out that last part.

The teacher just laughed dryly. “Friend or not, I’m afraid that doesn’t matter. The rules are the rules and you, Mr. Matthews, need to be outside. All children unless using the lavatories or injured should be on the play field at playtime. We need to make sure we know where every child is when they’re on our grounds, lest a not so kind stranger walk in and we have children unaccounted for.”

Now Emma didn’t know if the old bat knew about what happened with her, Paul, and her old dad, or if she was even referencing that. But it made her stomach churn and she was sure Paul felt like a troublemaker having that said to him. So she quickly took control of the situation by giving in. She poked her head towards Paul, said “I’ll be super quick.” And ducked into the toilets, not even enough time to see Paul sauntering there, and the teacher hurrying him along until they were basically following him to make sure he went to the grounds.

And Emma was as quick as her word. She hurriedly washed her hands and ran through the halls, her eyes peeled for any more bossy teachers, and finally into the open playground.

When she got there she immediately searched for Paul. Instead, she found a circle of some of the bigger kids in class, but Paul’s tuft of hair stuck up over some of them, but unfortunately she saw he wasn’t part of the circle, he was right in the middle of it. Uh-oh. That made Emma’s stomach feel all tingly, she started to run over there. That’s when she heard the shouts.

“He’s so _weird!_”

“Ew, don’t touch him! He’s probably got cooties.”

“He’s gross and smelly!” Someone else added in.

Emma tried shoving two of the girls apart, then scrambling under their legs. But when they saw Emma, they squealed and ran off, away from the crowd, to do something else. That left Emma to see the group of kids from her class pushing Paul between them over and over, and him crying in the middle.

“He’s such a baby!”

“A little girl!”

Two of her classmates got in before Emma could react. But then she was no longer out the circle, or even a part of it, she was on the inside with Paul, and all but three of the kids ran away.

Paul was shoved to the ground and dropped in a haste.

The kids at Sycamore didn’t bully Paul anymore, thanks to Emma. Even though she wasn’t a bully, she was still kind of scary if anyone got on her bad side, so they left the two of them be mostly. 

But since she was off yesterday, apparently they had went for him and made up for lost time. 

“Leave Paul alone!” Emma yelled to the kids still watching, eyes burning with anger. Then she turned to the three who’d stayed put, two wouldn’t look her in the eye, but one was still laughing at Paul, who was still on the ground, and he made Emma mad. “What’s he done to you!?” She asked, fists balled by her side and cheeks puffed out enraged. She felt Paul tugging on her trousers beneath her, but she ignored him for now.

This kid didn’t seem to care that the others had a silent truce to back off from Paul and Emma. They apparently wanted to make a name for themselves. “We don’t want weird, freaky, losers in our school, like him.” He jeered, a few of the other kids snickering or ‘ooh’ing him on. 

Emma picked up Paul while keeping her eyes on this kid. She kinda felt around for his shoulder and yanked him up, putting his arm around her own shoulder and holding his back in return, just glaring. “But the school seems to be fine with big, dumb, jerks though.”

The kids watching went crazy. Some laughed, some flinched away from the bully, some started calling him those names she spoke out. And Emma watched his dumb face go all red, but not like Paul’s red... like her old dad’s red. She stuck her tongue out menacingly, before dragging Paul over behind the wizard tree where no one else could see them.

He didn’t really need help walking, it was more a comradery thing. But Emma sat him down, his back against the tree, and kneeled on her trousers, getting the knees grassy, and asked “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” Paul repeated, wringing his hands hard to the point Emma thought he’d pop a bone out. But then Paul whined, the noise coming from deep down and like it’d forced its way up, and Emma noticed Paul rubbing his shin, making sure not to go too high up his leg. 

She flicked her eyes up to Paul and they were open wide, vulnerable. Paul’s were scared, upset, embarrassed.

“Can I see?” She asked, and Paul nodded. Emma lifted his trouser leg up, going slower as he winced, and soon she’d rolled it to rest above his kneecap, and saw a scrape on his knee. It wasn’t too deep, but there were spots of blood appearing now. She kept her eyes focused on it.

“Is it bad?” Paul piped up. He didn’t want to look, but he kept his head up to watch Emma’s reaction. “It hurts.”

But Emma stayed calm, and she just smiled up at Paul. “You’ll be okay.” She promised, she didn’t want to invalidate his pain after all, a phrase she’d heard from Hidgens, but she also didn’t want to scare him. “My dad makes me bring band aids to school in case I don’t want to go to the nurse, they’re in my cubby, I’ll get you one after recess.” Emma told him comfortingly. 

Paul nodded, rubbing his hands at his eyes slowly, like he was too tired to stop the tears, and then a little “ow” came from him.

Emma kept on doctor-ing. She ran her fingers not on the mark but close to it. “It’s just a small scrape, so you’ll be okay Paul. Okay?”

Paul sniffled. “Okay.”

Emma leant down and kissed his knee better. Smiling as she pulled back and saw Paul smiling too. It was already starting to feel better. “O-Okay Emma.”

That’s what both their parents did when they were hurt, kiss it better. So neither really thought about it, that was just how you cured small wounds.

The next day Paul still didn’t seem much better. Emma met back up with Paul before school started, her dad surprised that for once, she was dressed on time for school. She waited on the playground till Paul came in, which was only a few minutes before the bell rang. When Paul entered the gates, his eyes already looked as red as his face, and Emma ran up to him.

She grabbed onto his hand when she got to him, and Paul sniffled. “My mommy got upset with me, because I was going to be late. I’m never late.” He got out straight away, clearly upset at having upset his mom, or being disappointing. Emma squeezed his hand tighter, her lips thin. “Because you didn’t wanna come into school today?” She tried to fill in the blanks, only for Paul to shake his head. “Not just that. Th-...” He looked to Emma, then back down.

Emma intertwined their fingers softly now, and she leaned against Paul’s arm, her cheek against his shoulder and eyes big. “You can tell me Paul. I promise I won’t tell. You know all my secrets.” She reminded him at the end. And Paul sighed. “It’s not a secret. I just woke up late b...because I’ve been having nightmares.”

Emma leant her weight off of him, but still kept her hand wrapped, as she bounced on her feet. “Do you wanna talk to me about them?” She asked, eyes down to the ground where she started digging her toes. 

But Paul, without nodding or looking to Emma, started to speak. “They’re about th-th-the bullies.” He began, his skin feeling cold and bumpy. “The night before you came back... you left me. You left me alone with them and you left school and never came back.” Paul held her hand more securely in his now, as if to check she was still there, make sure she wasn’t leaving, but he still looked to the ground, just as she did. “Then last night, in my dream instead of leaving me you...” he paused, his eyes flicking up to Emma but his head staying bent. “You joined them.”

Emma looked to her best friend. She already had had some of the worst nightmares she could ever fathom. She couldn’t imagine a dream where she saw Paul with all her old bullies, turning against her to mock her too. It wouldn’t be very nice. 

Paul looked up too now, his shoulders still slumped, and eyes averting from Emma’s whenever hers turned to his. But Emma took his other hand, slightly clammy, and swung them in hers, between them. “I promise Paul. We’ll stick together forever.”

It was real. An honest, true promise, that Emma didn’t even _want_ to break. So it made her heart less heavy when she heard Paul hiccup back “I-I promise that too.” Her smile wasn’t big, not for this situation, but it was soulful. 

Paul was her best friend, she didn’t want to be apart from him, she didn’t want to lose him, or Hidgens, or Jane. They were the only people who were really nice to her and treated her like a person. They were her family. Even though she was only six, she knew just how important Paul was to her, how he’d changed her life. 

Although all those things were in the back of her mind, some of the feelings too grown up for her to understand. At the moment, all she wanted to do was shield her best friend.

And that she did. “I know how scary nightmares are.” She let go of his hands to hug him. Her stomach dropped upon thinking about her nightmares, and Paul’s own, Paul going through that pain. Emma threw her arms around his neck and started swaying, like Hidgens did. She was kind of choking him, but Paul didn’t say anything. He just held her arms to make sure she didn’t choke more, and let her hold him, his own fingers stroking the back of her hand. Emma felt him rest his head against her shoulder, and she swayed more, resting her one cheek back on his, The only difference was that Paul’s eyes were closed. 

She’d help him through it.

And she did. Or at least tried to. All throughout the day Emma was on her best behaviour on best friend duty. No even friendly teasing, she was super soft on Paul today. She even tired to get other people to be so too. When the teacher came over to check their work she pointed them over “Mrs. McCree doesn’t Paul’s hair look really nice today?”

Emma being _overly_ sweet and outwardly kind to anyone was a blessing. And of course, people agreed from general niceness anyway. Some kids agreed when she subtly peer pressured them to compliment Paul, more because they were stunned.. or scared. But bit by bit Paul’s confidence grew. They had a really good mini game of magic the gathering behind the wizard tree at recess, and by lunch, Paul was even smiling again.

And then lunch happened.

The eating part inside the cafeteria was fine. It was the outside part playing, that things started to get off track.

Emma took Paul outside, holding his hand to take him quickly to their little spot behind the tree with the wizards face on it, none of the kids knew if it was carved or just sorta... turned out like that. But before she could get there, the game was knocked out of Paul’s hands. 

Emma whipped her head around at the tug on her hand and the noise, the clatter of the game hitting the concrete. And when she did she saw the boy from yesterday who hadn’t backed off, and his two friends. “Do you mind?” She asked harshly, as Paul bent down to pick up his things with one hand. But the bully didn’t seem to mind. They karate chopped Paul’s arm, making him let go of Emma, and lose his footing. He stumbled to the ground. And the three kids laughed at him.

Emma, meanwhile, was not laughing. She stood in front of Paul, her arms straight down at her sides, shaking fists balling, and face puffing in anger. “You didn’t have to do that! Why don’t you just go away?”

All the kids at her new school knew she was tough. But this bully seemed to want to try her. He took another step forward, the two snickering and hitting each other to watch, as Emma watched the boy take a step away from them and towards her and Paul, while Paul watched Emma.

“What are you gonna do?” He asked Emma mockingly, laughing at her. “You’re just a girl.”

** _WHAM!_ **

The bully stumbled back, into his friends arms who wore shocked expressions on their faces, and Emma’s now stone firm fist, was still raised halfway in the air, after it left his face.

Paul had no idea what was going through her head. He couldn’t even see her face from where she stood, blocking, in front of him. He just watched the boy get his face punched, Emma’s fist connecting on his cheek then sliding to his nose, and him falling backwards. Paul started panting, looking up at his only friend. She just stood there for a few seconds, even as the kid screamed at her, and then he watched in confusion as she just laughed.

And then for a reason he didn’t understand, he started laughing too.

“STOP LAUGHING! You hit me!” 

But apart from him and one of his friends, the other running off, all the kids from her class, even the ones who’d been ganging up on Paul yesterday, all started pointing and laughing at him too. 

Emma bent down and helped Paul pick his things back up, and Paul got some of it too. When he looked up he saw Emma kneeling next to him and smiling, so thrilled. It made his heart all happy.

Emma helped Paul to his feet and left the others be, regaining his hand and taking him to their tree and finally setting out their game. But before they could even start, a teaching assistant came up to them.

“Emma Hidgens?”

“Oh what now?” She mumbled lowly to Paul.

“Oh no.” Paul accidentally said out loud, eyes fixed on the adult as she motioned for Emma to stand. “You’re to come to the principals office.”

Emma sighed and shrugged but apart from that, made no resistance to follow her, saying a cheery goodbye to Paul and that she’d see him later.

When the bell rung to signify the end of lunch, Paul still hadn’t seen Emma come back. So he made a little detour to his classroom by going past the headmasters office. That’s where he saw Emma, outside the principals door, sitting on a wooden chair and swinging her feet under it like she didn’t really have a care in the world.

“Oh no Emma.” Paul alerted his presence to her, and Emma turned around with a smile. He hurried up to to her seat. “Are you in trouble? Are you gonna be expelled?” He asked, genuinely worried. Especially if it was his fault. He didn’t want his best friend to go to a different school! And he remembered why she couldn’t go to the only other school on the island, so would that mean she had to leave Hatchetfield altogether?!? Oh no.

But Emma just giggled, keeping in her seat. “No Paul, don’t worry, it’s all okay. The principal’s calling my dad now, I think I’m gonna get to go home early!” She said this like she was excited at the prospect. Which made Paul confused, his little face twisting. “So you’re not in trouble then?”

“Oh no, they’re probably going to have to have a ‘talk’, but I’m not gonna get expelled Paul!” She reassured him, smiling up at him brightly. 

And now, Paul didn’t care if he was late to class, or if he even got in trouble with her. He sat down on the naughty seats next to her, and hugged Emma. 

She was a little surprised, but hugged him back, with a big squeeze.

“Thank you Emma. They’re not gonna bully me again now. Thank you for being my friend. I’m so so so happy you’re my best friend.”

He leant back from his hug after, his whole body feeling just... full of something. And he couldn’t stop smiling. 

Even as Emma waved him off as the final bell rung, saying “It’s not worth it if we both get in trouble!” Paul felt confident enough to yell back, yell in the corridor, “Yes it is!” Before running off and still smiling, his smile only growing bigger as he heard that he made Emma laugh behind him.

At first, Hidgens was confused when he got a call asking to come into Sycamore Junior and speak to the headmaster. The first thing he did was inquire as to if Emma was alright, and then when told she was fine, he wanted to know what this was about. He didn’t really know what to think when he was told his angel of a kid had punched a fellow student in the face.

He turned up and soon spotted Emma sitting outside the office. 

When Emma spotted him in return, she gasped with a smile. “Daddy!” She bounded off her seat, ran up to him and hugged him tight, all smiley. Hidgens pat her back, still confused. Emma was trying to get him to lift her up, scrambling for his arms to hold her in the correct way or even holding her arms straight up for him, to signal ‘up’, but he just continued to pat her back, saying “Let’s just go talk to your teacher dear.”

“The principal Dad, the principal.”

“Oh yes.” Hidgens replied, that not making him feel any better.

He had a long talk with the deputy principal that day, with Emma right next to him. He assured them she wasn’t a trouble maker at all, and the deputy told Emma hitting was not allowed point blank, and that if she did it again she’d be in deeper trouble than this warning. 

Hidgens almost, reflexively, sized up to this man as he wagged a finger at his daughter, even if that was part of his job, before he almost collapsed into his chair from relief at hearing she was just getting a warning, and nothing more. 

But when the deputy asked Emma why she acted the way she did, she stubbornly explained why, and all the trauma her friend was going through, with no teachers noticing it ; apparently a bit riled up at having been told off, in front of her dad no less, for defending her friend.

When Hidgens heard the explanation, he was silent as Emma was let go early today for him to ‘have a chat with her’, and instead as soon as the left the headteachers door, he took her hand and asked with a smile “Do you want to go get some ice cream?”

In the ice cream parlour, Emma sat down with her massive sundae, and Hidgens was halfway through his banana split. He was asking about her form, and if her knuckles hurt, all the while the two smiled. He did put his spoon down at one point, and leant his arms over the table, resting his chin on them. Emma looked up from her treat.

“Emma, you know you shouldn’t really go through life hitting people.” He squinted his eyes.

Emma dropped her spoon as well, averting her gaze to the window and sighing. “He was the first person I ever hit.” She did point out, and Hidgens took her hand over the table, shaking it so she looked at him and saw him smiling, knew that this wasn’t a telling off. “I know dear. And I don’t think you should have gotten in too much trouble for that.”

Emma nodded now, huffing and resting her elbow on the table in turn, squishing her soft cheek against her palm while looking at her dad. But the longer she looked at his smile, the closer she got to giggling, until she finally broke.

Hidgens laughed smally with her too, rubbing his big thumb over the back of her tiny hand. “I’m proud of you, for wanting to protect your friend like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I rly hope you liked it! We love baby Paul in this household
> 
> As always please leave any and all comments as they’re simply the best, and  
Stay safe y’all 💕


	27. Day Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember that time Hidgens was on a guilt trip and booked Emma and him a trip to the new Clivesdale water park for the grand opening? Well it’s here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give it up for day 2!

Hidgens woke up to a groan of his own and large pain in his stomach.

“Dad wake UP!”

Now pain, although much less, in his face. He tried to open his eyes and there was more light hitting against it. Quickly shutting them and grabbing out, he caught the pillow Emma was hitting him with.

With a smile, he sleepily tossed it to the other side of his room and used his arms instead to fondly pick up Emma. His hands under her arms, lifting her to his chest, her knee away from his stomach too, and kissed her temple, all the while she was giggling. “Good morning princess.”

“Daaad.” Emma poked his cheek and Hidgens tiredly grabbed her hands instead, his eyes fully opening rather than a half slit now. “Why do you keep attacking your father?” He eventually asked. And Emma jumped onto his chest, him spluttering a groan, when Emma started to hit him excitedly. “Because today’s the day Dad! Today’s the dayyy!”

Hidgens smile grew, removing his head from the pillow and letting it support itself on his neck, as Emma beamed down at him. “Of course. The water park.”

“The new water park in Clivesdale opens today!!” Emma repeated ecstatic. She’d been waiting for this for ages!!

Hidgens had pre-booked it a little while ago during some not great times and finally it was the grand opening, he and Emma would have the premium treatment of course, but it was more than enough excitement for Emma that she was _going_ let alone they’d be some of the first people to ever go!

“Oh dad show me the pictures again?” Emma begged, standing up and bouncing on his bed now. Hidgens let her with a laugh, she needed to get her energy out somehow. “Now? But you’re going today?” He reminded her.

Emma huffed with her bounces. “I wanna... get... prepared! I wanna... know what... I’m doing- So I can do... everything!” She smiled down at him, stopping her words whenever she landed on his mattress. Hidgens smiled fondly back up at her. “Well I can hardly complain with you being so proactive and enthusiastic dear.” He sat up in bed finally now and held out his hand. 

Emma stopped bouncing but instead bounced right onto his lap. Hidgens tried not to flinch, what an energetic and loving girl. She cooed up to him and he stroked her now wild hair behind her ear, his eyes adoring over her. “How about I make you some breakfast and while you’re getting your energy for today I find the pamphlet for you. Deal?” He asked, and Emma clung onto his dress robe with a bright smirk. “Deal.”

Hidgens smiled down at Emma as she drew her fingers across all the pictures, with lots of “Ooooh!” Sounds. It was so fucking cute. 

“I’m excited for the water shooters they have stationed everywhere dad!!” Emma squealed up from her food, as her hands smoothed out the glossy paper like it was treasured. He’d have to add it to a memory box if she kept up with this. He peered over her shoulder as he got her another glass of juice. “Do you know what you’re going to go on first my dear?”

“Guess!” Emma asked him, passing him the pamphlet herself and gripping the back of her chair to smile over it. 

Hidgens hummed warmly to her before looking over the pictures. His eyes landed on the kiddie ‘safari’ pool, they had trees like different types of showers, and an elephant trunk for a three to four foot long slide, that seemed nice! He pointed to it on the paper, only for Emma to laugh. “Hah! No dad! I wanna do this!” Emma’s finger slid over to the other page and landed on the rapids. The surf pit where every few minutes an alarm would sound and rushes of water would come gushing through. Right next to the picture was a sign. “13+”. He pictured holding Emma’s head above the water, getting knocked down and looking to find Emma no longer in his arms. His stomach flipped. “Aah... unfortunately dear, you’re not old enough for that ride.” He put that notion aside straight away.

Emma moaned, but moved on to her second favourite. “This one doesn’t have an age dad!” She beamed proudly, checking it beforehand. Hidgens looked over warily. There were two water slides. Very tall, very loopy, very steep. He looked down to Emma trying to hold in a grimace. “Ah but you see, no age restriction but a height one dear.” He tapped on the shiny colourful paper, Emma needed to grow at least a third more, not to mention even if she’d been doing well growing for the past few months, she still was very small for a six year old. Maybe she’d have a spurt... or not.

But then Emma pointed out the second slide, and the very bare text next to it. “Not for this one you don’t.”

Hidgens tried to hold in a whine, looking down to Emma with his best approximation of ‘good for you’ as he could right now. 

“Dad will you go with me?” She asked up at him, not sensing his reluctance, either to being on the slides themselves or letting Emma onto them. Hidgens shook his head “Ah, these slides they can only let one person go at a time, so if you’re too scared for them then-“

“I’m not scared.” And for once that sentence was not spoken stubbornly or with a clearly scared tone to her voice. Emma really wasn’t scared. “I just wanted to do stuff with you.” It came out almost neutral, and then she tapped on something else. “Ooh I want to do this first actually dad!” And looking, Hidgens saw a ring that two people went on together, down a water slide. Heart settling, Hidgens squeezed her shoulder. “Finish your drink dear, then let’s go pick what costume you’re wearing today hey?”

Hidgens unloaded the bags and Emma was met with screams of joy, the sound of rushing water and the smell of chlorine. It was delightful! They put all of their stuff into their locker before finding their allocated deckchairs. Hidgens laid his and Emma’s towels over them, before the two started to take off their outside clothes for their swimming costumes underneath like everyone was beginning to do. Emma was in her bright red costume with a big daisy printed on it, and her pirate flag armbands, whereas Hidgens was in ‘cool’ purple, green and blue trunks with sharks, Emma chose them for him of course. She had her hair tied loosely in a ponytail, and Hidgens took her hand up in his, walking carefully through the already slippery sides, also to prevent her from running towards the new interesting things, even as she tried yanking him along.

They went on all the rides they could, or the ones Emma could go on. They’d shared a ring down a big water slide, Hidgens griping onto Emma for her life as she screamed in what for a second was terror but soon turned to thrill, the water spraying in her face. He’d watched her climb the steps to the big slide she actually could go on, reminding her she could change her mind at any moment, out of worry, only to watch her have the time of her life and hear her loud whoops of enjoyment. She’d shot Hidgens with the water shooters stationed everywhere, once he refused to join up with her on her quest to spray all the kids who in her mind, were her ‘rivals’. There were even attractions not mentioned in the pamphlet Emma had managed to sink her teeth into.

But Emma really wanted Hidgens to go in the biggest slide there. “For me daddy!” Was all it took for Hidgens to go from “Well I don’t know” to making sure Emma stayed put on their deckchair, remembered all their stranger danger tips, and asking their family doctor he saw there to keep an eye on her while she kept an eye on his sliding.

Luckily from his line, Hidgens could see Emma every step of the way. He’d look back and smile and she‘d wave so excitedly up at him, he’d feel good enough to wave back. It wasn’t that he was scared it just... wasn’t exactly something to do he’d pick out himself.

It was only when he was told to sit at the entrance was Emma blocked from view. So isntead Hidgens turned up to the teen in charge of the contraption looking down at him.

“You know what to do dude?” He asked bored. Hidgens scoffed a little. “Of course not, this is your first day of opening!”

“Just don’t reach out unless you want friction burn on your arms and leg and neck.”

And before Hidgens could ask, the hand was on his back and he was pushed downwards in the waves and swirls. 

“AAAAGH!” He screamed, not expecting it to be this _fast_. He kept his arms in on his chest and kept a bellow leaving his chest as he was shot all the way into the pool.

When he finally emerged, bursting for breath and wiping the chlorine from his eyes, Emma was standing at the edge of the pool, gripping onto the white chain dividing them in awe. “Wow dad, you’re so cool!”

Hidgens exhaled for breath and sat in the shallow end, emotionally exhausted. At least it was worth it.

After Hidgens had dried his eyes and convinced Emma “No I don’t need to go on anymore rides thank you, I just want to spend time with my daughter”, they decided to just do a bit of swimming. Hidgens slid in but Emma still stayed up there, he rested his arms against the floor. “Dad watch! Watch me!”

He stood back. Emma tilted her head, her knees bouncing already. “Are you watching dad?!”

“Yes sweet pea!” He called, knowing what was about to happen which is why he stood back, Emma bent her knees and jumped into the air, catching her legs to her chest and cannonballing into the pool.

Hidgens was far enough away to not have to wipe his eyes but he swam up to his daughter after she gracefully popped up for air, holding her hands she held out for him.

“Daddy did you see?”

“I saw Emma, well done! That was very cool!”

The two spent a bit of time playing in the water, Hidgens holding her and bobbing her up and down in the deep end, as she giggled wildly, Emma’s hair getting even more soaked and everywhere. All until Hidgens arms got too tired...

“Daddy again again again!!!”

Sort of.

Then they decided to take her swimming lessons to the next level...

“No dad don’t let go!”

“Emma I’m still holding on I promise.”

“Not yet dad!”

Hidgens was trying to teach Emma to swim without armbands. 

At first he’d taught her for safety, a couple of months ago now, and then got her lessons when they decided to go here. She was quite good with armbands now! Definitely good enough to be able to try without.

“DAD DON’T LET GO OF ME!”

Just not yet.

“Emma ssh. Look at me.” Hidgens stood easily in the water and held her waist. Emma kicked and thrashed until she looked into Hidgens arms and calmed, well, once she had a vice like grip on his arms too. “I promise I’m not going to let go till you’re ready okay sweetheart?” Emma clung to his side like a baby monkey as Hidgens tipped her chin up with his own free hand. “Should we try again with the armbands dear, so you remember how amazing you are at swimming?”

Emma, not really reacting but not unfazed by the comment, nodded with a whimper, letting her dads free hand pull her armbands back on with a squeaky slide. “Are they on properly?” She asked, probably a bit too loudly.

“Yes they’re not going to fall, now come on sweet pea.” Now Emma let go immediately. She was sure of herself in armbands, and she kicked in the water while Hidgens took a few steps backwards. Then he opened his arms invitingly. “Come on, swim to me then darling!”

Emma doggy paddled all the way over seamlessly, her mouth not taking in any water and heart rate calming. 

“I’m going to take a step back.” Hidgens called out when Emma got closer.

“Uh huh.” She called to let him know, watching as he stepped backwards and she caught up in speed, eventually grabbing onto his hand and her dad pulling her close. “See? Well done Emma.” He praised her and Emma nodded. That was almost _boring_.

“Okay okay. Don’t make me swim to you but I’ll try swimming in spot.” Emma bargained, her reward the crinkle in her dads eyes as he smiled to her. “Oh excellent dear I’m very happy to hear that!”

Emma grabbed onto his chest again, wrapping her legs round his hips underwater and arms over his neck where his hair dripped onto her, only raising them as he took off her armbands and kept them for safe keeping. She let him unhook her and hold her middle instead.

“Dad don’t let go! You’re gonna let go too early! I’m not ready!” Emma almost immediately panicked at Hidgens simply repositioning his grip on her. Hidgens pulled her in closer, his blue eyes unblinking on hers and Emma looked deeply into them with her own brown ones. “Do you trust me?” He asked that one simple question, his eyes searching but untelling. Emma, her eyes following his back, confidently and surely nodded. Hidgens blinked. “Then I won’t let you go until you tell me I can.”

Emma looked down at the water, her feet looked so close to the bottom yet they weren’t. It wasn’t fair, especially when Hidgens torso was out the water and he wasn’t even swimming, he was just standing there!

“Whenever you’re ready honey.”

Emma gave Hidgens forearms one more squeeze, before letting go, quickening the pace of her legs, and Hidgens hands the only security she had. “I’m ready.”

One hand gone, then the others grip loosened, his fingertips still sticking, and then Emma was on her own. And her head was above water. She was swimming!

“You’re doing it!!”

“Daddy I’m doing it!!”

Hidgens smiled, just taking in the scene. 

“Okay daddy, grab me now!”

Before she could panic or lose confidence, Hidgens swept her back in his arms. “Oh Emma!” He kissed her dripping nose and Emma shook her hair, giggling as she sat on his knee, water buoyant. “Daddy I wanna try swimming to you!!” Emma said almost immediately, thrilled at her new skills.

“You do?!” Hidgens smiled frantically wide, eyes alive. “Emma you sure you’re up for it?”

“That just makes me wanna do it even harder!” Emma fought back, smirking at him and growling completively, like he’d just bet against her raw will power and swimming ability. Hidgens chuckled, standing up again and holding Emma’s hands. “Ready to let go?” He asked and she nodded, quiet as she prepared herself to concentrate again.

Hidgens let go, walking only three large strides backwards, an amount where he could rush forwards if she needed him, but she’d need to do a few strokes to get to him. Emma was still keeping herself afloat in the water, and Hidgens heart soared with excitement. “Ready!?” He called out, opening his arms for her.

“Ready!” Emma burst off like a bolt, or at least she tried to. Her arms bent forward and she paddled. Her chin bobbed in the water but she closed her mouth before any could get in. A choked out gasp left her from holding her breath too long but her dads hands were holding out for her. Her back was getting tired with supporting herself but there were his hands aaaand...!

Hidgens caught her! She’d done it!!! “Emma!” He lifted her in the water and up in the air, breaking the water surface and splashing her back down as Emma soared and screamed with laughter, no one else important to the two of them right in this moment. 

“I did it I did it!” Emma sang as she came back down, hugging her dad close to her whole tiny body and not wanting to ever let go. She even closed her eyes for a second, just humming against his chest. 

Hidgens allowed himself a fond look, a moment of silence to mentally photograph this moment and keep it forever, not long enough for Emma to notice before he broke the half second of silence with a giggle. “Well now my little girl’s becoming all grown up how about I order us some mocktails?”

“Oh yes daddy!!” Emma opened her eyes then, gasping and clapping her hands in the water, giving Hidgens face a bit of splash back. He moved his chin back and merely chuckled. Emma got a bunch of water in her cupped hands and spalshed it at his face again. Of course he wasn’t mad, he splashed more at her shoulder and neck. Emma giggled and Hidgens half expected a splash fight, but Emma moved from his chest around his side, and he followed her amusedly, until she reached his back and clung on, really looking a lot like a baby monkey now. “I’m tired. Take me back to the deckchair please?” She asked sweetly but knowing what the answer would be. 

“Oh your majesty, it would be my pleasure.” He said in a deep posh voice. Emma laughed into his shoulder as he waded through the water with her. “I’m so proud of you.” He told her, feeling her cling on just a little tighter.

“Just ten more minutes dad, pleeeeeease?” Emma pouted up at him. Hidgens had declared if she was tired then she shouldn’t be swimming much any more, it was probably time to go home too, but Emma wasn’t ready to leave! 

And Hidgens couldn’t say no to his daughter. “Okay, kiddy pool though.” He leant down and pointed to it. At least since it was shallow and if Emma was truly exhausted she wouldn’t drown. Plus she really hadn’t spent much time exploring in there, just gone on the same slides and under the same showers a couple of times before running, well walking, back. 

“Okay dad! Thank you!” Emma speedwalked over there, Hidgens smiling and watching her safely slip in, before putting everything back in their bags expect their towels, looking over to Emma every couple of seconds just to make sure she was still okay. 

So it surprised him when one moment he looked and saw her waddling about happily, and then the next she was trying her hardest not to _run_ to him. “Dad! Daddy!!” She yelled, him walking over and kneeling down by her as she wrapped her arms tight around his neck, crying into the base of it. 

“Emma oh God! What’s wrong?! Is there a stranger?!” Hidgens asked panicked, looking over. There only _seemed_ to be other kids, and their parents, in the area, and they were all fine. 

Emma shook into Hidgens chest, before pulling back, her wet hair still attached to him and strangling her neck. “S-sh!”

“She...?” Hidgens asked confused, Emma’s eyes were red and not from chlorine.

“SHARK! There’s a shark in the water!” Emma sobbed, burying her face back into her dads neck and hiccuping hard.

Hidgens held her back tight. Then squinted his eyes. Then looked to the families still having the times of their lives in the pool. 

“Emma are you sure?”

“I saw it for just a second but-“ she trailed off, whispering again into her dad.

Hidgens frowned, sucking in his lips. “Let’s have a look shall-“

“No! No it could get you!” Emma whispered the last couple of words, shaking her head with wild eyes and gripping to her dads skin begging him not to go. Hidgens, trying not to grimace as the bruises were forming, finally was able to unclaw Emma from his chest. Still kneeling, he pointed over to it. “Well how about this? I’ll go look, but I’ll stay on the floor. The shark can’t get me if I’m not in water, right?” Well actually he did think about beached sharks and a few of the movies he’d seen and slightly more educational books he’d read but that wouldn’t exactly help his argument towards his petrified six year old. 

Emma took a shaky breath, before nodding. Yeah. That was right! “O-Okay Daddy.” Hidgens smiled, standing up and taking his first step. Emma leeched onto his hand and took it in two of her own. Hidgens looked down surprised. “You’re coming with me?” 

He’d have thought she’d be too scared, and to his credit she was hiding her face into the side of his leg, but she nodded too. “That way I know you won’t go in the water. And I don’t wanna leave you.”

Heart melting, Hidgens pat her hands securely, before walking over to the kiddie pool. No sharks there, of course. “Where did you see it Emma?” He asked anyway, letting her point to the other side. He walked, Emma now hiding her face fully into him and screwing her eyes shut, holding on tighter. And to her credit, there was a shark in the kiddie pool. A sticker of one at the bottom of it. 

“Emma it’s just a drawing, see? Open your eyes.” He said gently, trying to prompt her to come out. After a few long seconds of his hand rubbing down her back, and no shark jumping out to bite them, Emma looked down. Her heart panged for just a second, before really looking at it now the water was still because she wasn’t stomping in it. Oh.

She looked up to Hidgens, new different tears in her eyes. Oh no! He’d shown her it wasn’t real so what was wrong now?! Emma’s bottom lip trembled, her heart fearing. “Daddy are you mad at me?”

“What?!” Hidgens was shocked and frankly baffled. “No!” He scoffed.

Emma didn’t move. “Do you think I’m stupid?” She was scared.

“No honey, no. I could never think that!” He lifted her up onto his hip, screw their safety rules. He brought her over to their chair as she rubbed her watery eyes into his drying shoulder, trying to pretend they were just water droplets as she hiccuped small cries. Hidgens sat down on the chair and thus Emma went onto his lap. Hidgens looked down to her eye level. “Emma darling you’re not stupid. Not in the slightest.” He kissed her forehead, and only that got her to look up.

“Hey dad?” Emma asked, her voice normal again if not eyes just a bit pink stil. Hidgens still looked into them with nothing but love. “Yes sweetie?”

“I-Isn’t it funny that the kiddie pool ended up being the scariest one, huh?” She sniffed. And Hidgens smile cracked against his cheeks till he burst into laughter. A warm sound that made Emma chuckle from her chest and wipe any remaining tears away to watch the features on her dads face. Hidgens wiped his thumbs over her cooling down cheeks. “You know what? Yes dear. That is funny.”

Honestly it was not a great idea to stick a giant shark sticker at the bottom of a kids pool in the first place, however it was their first day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just needed to clear one quick thing up: I’ve gotten quite a few messages off different people over different platforms and I just want to say this series isn’t going anywhere even if I’ve been really busy recently and a month without upload isn’t the most uncommon thing for any series so not to worry because this series is nowhere near being put on hiatus okay? Promise, I love it too much haha
> 
> But as always thank you for reading and please leave any and all comments you have!! 😊
> 
> Stay safe y’all! 💕


	28. Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma falls properly sick for the first time under Hidgens care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for vomit and mentions of abuse

Hidgens went to Emma’s room like he did every weekday morning- excluding days she’d slept on his bed or come to wake _him_ up- and gone to tell her it was time to get ready for school.

He lightly knocked on her door in the hallway, before opening it. “Emma darling, time for school.” He whispered in a songy voice. But when he fully opened the door he discovered she was awake. It might have been hard to tell from her screwed shut eyes, but she was shaking and whimpering widely, much too big to have been unconscious movements.

“Emma!” He ran forward to his daughter- “What’s wrong!?”- kneeling at her bed and bringing his hand to her forehead, it was exuding heat before he even touched it. She was sweaty and clammy, and scanning her, her whole body was vibrating now he could see clearer.

Emma managed to make her neck roll and let her cheek hit the side of the pillow, facing Hidgens. No other part of her body would move, apart from the involuntary shivers, her eyes barely open and not at all focused, lips smacking together to try and speak. And eventually she gained the strength to whimper out one small thing. “Daddy... it hurts.”

Hidgens eyes were frantic, white. He knew likely what this was but it still didn’t stop him being scared for her. His hand slipped under her neck, supporting her head as he crawled closer against her soft carpet. “Honey where does it hurt?” He didn’t want to move her if it was something seriously wrong.

Emma’s whole body scrunched up. “Everywhere!” She burst into tears, big loud sobs with “Ow!’s” inbetween from how hard she shook and loud she cried.

And Hidgens knew he wasn’t allowed to be scared, when she was so. “Ssh ssh sshhhh darling girl.” He placed his other hand under her legs and scooped her up, standing himself before lying on her bed, and placing her in his arms. 

That’s just what Emma wanted. She cried hot tears into his shirt that she would’ve known smelt like his comforting cologne if she could smell right now, her sticky head trapped against his neck.

“Oh my darling.” He would’ve rocked her if he could, and if he didn’t think it even had a chance of making her worse. Instead he stroked through her hair just the way she liked it. “Don’t be scared.” He kissed the top of her head, let her know he wasn’t affected by this, that he would be there for her. “Tell me exactly what’s wrong.” She didn’t even seem to notice the touch.

“I-I-I feel like I’m gonna be sick...”

Hidgens nodded. “Okay, tell me-“

Emma paled, and she looked up to him panicked, her hand slapping itself over her mouth. 

Oh! Hidgens lifted her and swiftly carried her to her en-suite, kneeling her in front of the toilet, opening the lid and holding her long brown hair back, holding her shoulder for support as she gripped the bowl. Ten seconds later she vomited into the toilet. Violently and continuously, about three times in a row and once more for spit up.  
When she was done she cried.

Hidgens held her, noting her coughing and hiccuping and even though he didn’t want her to throw up again, if she needed to it was better to get it all out. “Ssh ssh sweetie that’s it. You did it. You got through it, it’s okay baby girl.”

Emma almost collapsed her head against the toilet bowl in pure exhaustion before Hidgens caught her, gently sitting her against the wall instead, but close enough to the toilet he could move her back if needed. Making sure she wouldn’t fall, he slowly let her go, then quickly ran to get a fluffy small towel, dampening it in warm water before taking her slouching shoulders again and patting it on her chin, wiping away the dribble. 

He hadn’t done this for anyone but himself ever, but not only was he not at all grossed out by it, he seemed to know exactly what to do.

Emma spluttered, raising her weak shaky tiny hand and holding it against Hidgens more calloused one, that held the towel to her cheek. Her head was spinning on her weak neck and her eyes were unfocused. “Will you write me a note?”

“A note?” It took him a second, but then he presumed she was talking about school. His eyes softened. “Oh honey I’m calling in.” He night have to email his superiors too, ask the other professor to take over for his 11 and 2 o’clock lectures today...

“Call in to say I’ll be late?” Emma asked smally.

Oh. Hidgens lips went into a thin line, dropping the towel and stroking back her hair, slick with sweat, she started to pant on the cold bathroom tiles now. “Emma honey you’re not going in at all.”

He spoke sympathetically, but Emma still tried her best to make panicked eye contact now. “No! Wait- no?”

“You don’t have to, not like this.” Hidgens quickly changed subject, hating to see her in this image. “Emma darling do you feel like you’ll be sick again?” He asked. She shook her head drowsily and he carefully and slowly lifted her, with a soft “Upsie daisy.” Holding his most precious to his chest and laying her back down in bed. 

At least she had no sick in her hair but unfortunately he had not been good enough with her night shirt. She was only sat up in bed so luckily her sheets hadn’t touched any of it yet. “Emma can you hold your arms up for me?” He asked calmly. 

Slow to take in his words, she did so, as Hidgens went through her closet quickly. “Good girl.” He praised, taking her out of her sick stained shirt and putting her in a new one, the first loose fitting one he could find. 

But when Emma placed her arms down, she shouted a loud “OWW!” Before sobbing again. Hidgens panicked, her discarded shirt on his knee. “Emma what is it!?” But he saw her cradling her arm. “Oh, does it ache honey?”

Her lower lip shook harder than the rest of her body. “The inside feels like an electric shock and also cigarettes.”

Cigarettes? He gulped. “Emma do you mean burning?” 

She nodded slowly, eyes watery and on her unscarred arm. “Yuh huh.”

Hidgens did not need to be reminded of that at a time like this, but neither did she frankly, although she seemed less affected than he did at her statement. It hadn’t been mentioned in her self report nor to him before, he hoped that meant it was just a one or two time thing. Even if it should have been a ‘never thing’.

Shaking his head of the thought, he watched Emma wrap her quilt around her as best she could with one arm, too afraid to use the other. She curled up into a foetal position but it wasn’t just for comfort it seemed, her teeth chattered harshly too. She was cold.

He knew the type of pain she was in now, but he hadn’t heard of a bug going around. Curses. Otherwise he would have been doing everything he could to keep her healthy, which is a feat in itself considering normal life for the young protected girl.

Emma tried to speak through chattering teeth and shaky breaths, and Hidgens leant down to listen. “Daddy... I can’t... I can’t wear... this... to school.”

Again with this? Emma usually either loved talking about the subjects she and Hidgens both were passionate about, one thing she hadn’t mindlessly copied from him and she’d always agreed with, or complained and conspired to get out of doing the work. This must be something coming up from her past life. After all, he’d never seen her ill before.

He shuffled closer to her on the bed, got more in line with her and leant his head on her pillow to share it, pressing his cool forehead agaisnt her own boiling own and looking deep into her eyes, makings sure she followed as he squeezed her hands to his heartbeat. “Emma. When you’re this poorly you don’t have to go to school. You can relax and I’ll be here with you to look after you all day.” His thumbs rubbed over her shaking hands, but for the first time it didn’t stop her shaking. And that hurt. “I’ll even call Paul’s parents once he comes back from school and you can catch up with him eh? How about that?”

But Emma, much to his disappointment, not at her but at himself, shook her head softly onto her now soaking pillow. “No dad.”

He sighed, waiting her for to finish.

“I can’t stay here. I can’t stay at home. I’ll sleep in the nurses office.”

Oh no. He tried not to tense when holding onto her. What was wrong with home?

“Staying home is bad. You don’t want to look after me all day. I’m trouble.” Tears fell but no sobs accompanied them. Her lip was pouting and eyes wide on Hidgens.

Hidgens could feel his heart in his throat. He shuffled more in her bed, one hand leaving her own to reach over and touch her back, holding her close. “No darling angel... you’re here with me remember?” He wasn’t sure if this was a hallucination and she was that ill or just a code so deeply ingrained in her. “You’re never trouble remember?” He bumped his head so softly against hers. “Remember daddy wants to always stay with you? Do you remember that?”

Hidgens watched Emma shut her eyes, and he took that opportunity to suck back in the tears that were brewing in his own, forcing them back in time for when Emma finally looked out again. The tears flowed from her open eyes straight away. “You’ll stay with me all day?”

“Oh Emma!” He hugged her to his chest, quickly pulling back so she could see his face, even as his eyes went red and shiny with tears again, Emma a bit too busy using his fist, still tightly clung onto by hers, to wipe her own tears. “I promise, I’ll get you some medicine from downstairs and then I won’t leave this bed if you don’t want me to.”

Emma cried at his promise, looking up from behind his cool hand. “I don’t want you to.” 

She unnecessarily answered but Hidgens kissed over her dry hands. “I won’t then.”

She sniffed now, unfocusedly starting to look over to the door of her room. “Where’s Jane?”

Well Hidgens certainly hadn’t been expecting that. He sighed, about to speak when Emma tried to sit up.

“Jane?!” Her wrists kept collapsing and she kept falling back into his chest. But even as Hidgens tried to sit her down she kept trying to get up. “JANE!?”

“Ssh ssh Emma, no need for shouting.” He tried to hold her arms down lightly but Emma was shrugging out of them as she tried to climb out of bed, panting hard and almost hyperventilating now. “No I need Jane! W-Where, where did she go?”

Hidgens lifted his daughter onto his lap, his chin tucked on her head and arms secure around her, keeping her there. “Jane’s not here right now.”

Emma shook her head, tears spilling as she did. “N-No. No Jane’s always here. Jane always looks after me. Sh- Where is she dad?” Emma finally looked away from her door and to Hidgens. And his chest hurt knowing he couldn’t give those desperate eyes the answer they needed.

“She’s not here sweetie. I’m so sorry.””

Clearly the need to be cared after and instinct for paternal love, as you’d have it, was coming out and clearly Jane had been the one to take that role in Emma’s life. 

Maybe when she felt better he could call Jane too, but he feared her parents answering. Hidgens did think about buying the 8 year old a phone for this, but where would she hide the bulky thing?

He was brought out of his thoughts as the tiny soft and shaky hand of Emma reached up to hold his cheek. She looked up at him, almost like she was collapsing in his arms. “Then you won’t leave me then, right?”

Hidgens nodded, promising once again “Never.”

Unfortunately once she seemed to be less delirious, he finally did have to make a trip downstairs for that medicine.

It took a lot of convincing, a lot of prying every last finger off of him, a lot of begging her not to scream and that she needed to look after her beautiful voice, and a lot of promises, but eventually Hidgens managed to run out the room, even with Emma still not wanting him to go yet. He hoped she could hear how fast he was running. 

He grabbed a box full of medicine rather than picking through them and ran back, quickly cooing and shushing her cries as he re entered and closed the door, begging her not to roll on her stomach, which she was doing as she went to the end of the bed and gripped her hand out for him, but weakly, like a newborn baby desperate for comfort, and he rushed to fill her a glass full of water, before placing that on he table, himself on her bed and the tablets into Emma’s mouth. He literally had to put them on her tongue, it was the only way she’d take it, and hand her the glass she was clearly too weak to hold, himself holding onto it while she sipped and finally swallowed.

“Ungh.” She groaned. 

“I’m so proud of you.” He promised. And now that that was done he placed the box under her bed and set his alarm watch to beep four hours from now for her next dosage. 

Although he knew bugs like this weren’t just cured by some store bought tablets. She’d have to fight through it. And he’d be there every step of the way.

Emma shrivelled up into herself, wriggling even though it hurt, till her head lay on Hidgens knee, needing to look up at him, at her protector, desperately. _“It hurts daddy.”_

His heart was absolutely shattered. 

It hurt that he couldn’t do anything more. He couldn’t help Emma, no matter how much he always tried, he was helpless! He even almost felt like a fraud. But there was one important thing that taped his broken heart back together. She didn’t know that.

He just tried to sympathise with her as much as he could, his throat watery and tightening. “I know sweetheart.”

Hidgens took back her covers, crawled underneath with her, laid his head against her pillow and curled his knees up, and put the quilt back over the two of them. 

Emma sighed peacefully, snuggling up to her dads shoulder now and feeling warm but not hot, and utterly exhausted. She let her fingers wander up, curling agaisnt the buttons of Hidgens shirt and playing with them absentmindedly, head empty. “Can I go to sleep again dad?” She asked, but then it was out of her control, she was breathing heard and her eyes weren’t forcing themselves back up again.

Hidgens tucked his head into hers, kissing her temple, his hand slowly and continuously running through her hair and even though he knew he wouldn’t be sleeping, closing his own eyes. “Yes, Emma.”

Four hours later around midday, Emma started to stir. She fallen back asleep around 8, snuggled up next to Hidgens, and even though it had been restless, with her kicking out or whimpering or shivering, she’d gotten some well needed rest. And Hidgens, like he promised, had not moved since.

When Emma woke she woke with a groan, twisting her body then back again till her head hit Hidgens arm he had rested over her. Then she tiredly peeled open her eyes.

“Hello darling.” Hidgens spoke quietly, a certain lowness to his voice from rest. “Did you have a nice sleep?”

Instead of speaking Emma moaned again, nuzzling her head into Hidgens chest and laying there, sighing out hard. Hidgens used one hand to scratch circles into her back, the other playing with the hair that fell past her face, all the while he hummed to her. Until eventually, Emma opened her eyes fully again. They were deep and partly red round the outside and looking desperately up at Hidgens. “Hi daddy.”

Hidgens laughed softly through his nose, scrunching it up and kissing her forehead endearingly. “Hello Emma. Are you feeling any better?”

Sighing long again, Emma went to sit up, before deciding not only did she feel weak but her dad was warm and safe and the outside world was cold, she lay back under the covers and went back to laying on his chest, her hand reaching out and drawing patterns up his shirt now. She looked up to him when she spoke. “Maybe the tiny tiny tiniest bit.”

Hidgens smiled encouragingly. “Well the tiny tiny tiniest bit is better that not at all! It means you’re already getting better darling.” He tried, and he did watch as the words took a few seconds to get through Emma brain, stopping her stroking that was quite frankly tickly, and smiling just a bit. “Yeah I guess that’s right.”

He pat her hand, soft enough even that wouldn’t jostle her. “Well in that case do you want to wake yosurself up while I go get some stuff for you?” He stripped the covers from himself and started to stand up, when Emma grabbed his shirt between her two tiny fists and pulled, well it ended up more her being dragged upwards, but she still stayed close to Hidgens. “No!”

Hidgens sat back down. 

“Can’t you stay here with me more while I wake?” She asked.

Cooing, Hidgens took her hands but, betraying Emma as she let go to hold them, he slowly pushed them back to her.

“If I get it all over with now then I can come back even sooner. I need to help you get strong again Emma.” He kissed her shaking hands before letting go and Emma sighed, she did want to be strong.

“Besides I can’t spend all day cuddling with you in here!”

Emma pouted. “Please?”

He laughed softly once more, going to the end of the bed where he had been kicked and presenting her favourite toy and coatimundi Ted. Meanwhile Emma’s hand had reached out and grasped for him like a baby trying to imprint on an adult, instead when she saw her most comforting toy her hands lashed out at him instead, whimpering as she closed her fists in the air, until Hidgens passed him to her. Emma tucked him tight to her chest and trying to breathe in his fur. She just couldn’t breathe through her nose right now.

“How about Ted keeps you company while I spend just a couple of minutes downstairs to help you okay?”

Emma sighed, starting to know she should give in but her stubbornness, clinginess and need digging their heels in. “How long?”

Thinking, Hidgens went to her cassette player and put on his musical mash up, he’d made a copy of for her room as well as the car, and he made sure to play cell block tango, the longest track on there, first. “You won’t even get through five of these songs before I’m back, you can sing to them so they can keep you company with Ted.” He smiled, he knew she hated the silence so. On bad nights she couldn’t even get _tired_ unless he was talking or singing to her.

And holding Ted close to her chest, eyes sharp on Hidgens, she just nodded, throat hurt too much to call out and ears desperately consuming all the nonsense lyrics that fluttered out at the start of the song. Even as she watched her dad close the door, the last thing she saw his smile, the repetition of the lyrics at the start actually helped her.

Hidgens quickly went through all his ingredients, thanking God he had some pre made, and put them all in a pot to start the soup. He left that there as he ran to his lab, finding in his medical box all the equipment he’d need and stuffing it into a smaller empty one. Locking the door and bringing that to the kitchen, he set it to the side as he stirred her food, hoping she could at least eat this and keep it down, and he could hear she was only four songs in when he opened the door with his hip, tray in hand.

“Dad!” Emma called, smiling from where her face was buried in Ted’s fur. Hidgens smiled as he walked to her desk, turning the music down but not off completely and placing down her tray. He had her soup hot in a flask and a bowl and spoon on the tray. He’d set that out later, but first he needed to test if it was a good idea for her to eat anything at the moment.

Walking over with the box, Hidgens sat on the side of her bed and Emma moved the covers from her legs, shuffling over and looking down curiously, leaning her hand on her dads leg. “Is that some of your biology professor stuff?”

“Yes it is.” He smiled proudly, eyes getting everything set up. “I’m just gonna give you a quick check up Emma, although I mightn’t be as good as any doctor.”

“I trust you.” Emma said immediately.

Hidgens grinned softly, teeth baring just. “Aw thanks sweetie.” He got out the thermometer and waited for Emma to stick her tongue out. She just looked down at it and did not. Maybe she was waiting? “Emma say ‘ah’?” He prompted.

Emma looked at him absurdly. She followed anyway. “Ah?” She opened her mouth only smally to let the sound out. 

Hidgens dropped the thermometer to his legs, looking at her with a mixture of confusion and concern. “Emma have you never used a thermometer?”

“Oh that’s what they are!” She nodded sagely, before stopping because it made her head dizzy and thump. “I’ve heard of them when playing doctors!”

A bit peeved at her parents never using one or sending her to a doctor who did, he showed her how to open her mouth fully, and when Emma had stopped laughing- and having a cough attack- about how funny he looked with his tongue stuck out like that, she put it in, following Hidgens wise words of “Don’t try to swallow it!” And letting him touch and move and test her. 

Hidgens saw no other injuries to her arm, that she didn’t seem to be in pain with when he touched either, and presumed that was a symptom of her bug. Everything else led to that conclusion and nothing much worse too, and when he took out the thermometer that conluded it. “Ah yes you’ve got a bug and a bit of a fever, but noting too drastic.” He placed all his equipment back and smiled at her. “You’ll be fine.”

Emma nodded at this knowledge.- “Thank you dad.”

“Of course Emma!”

-Then she patted her bed. But Hidgens was already moving away. Ah, maybe he was putting that box back so he had more room to snuggle her. But instead she saw him pouring something into a bowl and suddenly a faint smell finally hit her. And gosh did it smell nice. When Hidgens brought the bowl over to her, Emma looked inside and looked up, giddy that her suspicions were confirmed. “It’s grandmas soup.”

This was yet another recipe from Hidgens Grandma, who Emma also called Grandma, and boy did she love their cooking.

“Yes Emma, aren’t you smart?” He ruffled her hair and Emma giggled, leaning into the touch fondly before Hidgens passed her the bowl. 

He watched her eat and he could tell she was doing a little better than early this morning. At least her hands weren’t too shaky as she took the spoon to her mouth. And after a few sips she was still getting on well. He poured her water and took out new pills. “I’m so proud you can get it down Emma.” He smiled, hand rubbing her leg over her sheets comfortingly. “Just make sure not to force yourself, just take it in sips.” He advised.

Emma put her spoon down and scrunched her nose up at her dad. “But it’s grandmas, and you made it.” 

“But you’re poorly.” He countered. “And you don’t have to finish it.”

Emma smiled, picking back up her spoon but making sure he was watching as she just took small spaced out sips. At least it didn’t hurt her throat too much and gave her some energy.

Hidgens just hoped she’d continually get a little better in the afternoon, but she kept getting shakes and aches every few minutes and her nose was stuffy and she still had a temperature. He made sure she drank lots of water with her tablets he helped encourage her to take again and promised he’d just be one minute going downstairs.

With the music turned up and knowing he always kept his promises, Emma was more accepting to the fact he had to leave, but her dad promised this’d be the last time for a few hours. They could even play some games when she felt up to it!

But Hidgens stopped at the door, leaning against it and looking fondly over to her. “Do you know what other positives you get, apart from people nagging you to finish your food?” He asked.

Emma shook her head, shaking hands clinging through Ted’s fur. She smiled. “No homework?”

Laughing softly through his nose, he shook his head. “Yes smart girl, but I was thinking something else.” He raised his eyebrow.

“What dad?”

“Ice cream?”

And for a flash Emma’s face didn’t look so grey today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sm for reading! Poor Emma, is scary to be sick as a child, at least Hidgens is such a good dad haha.
> 
> Please leave any comments y’all have as always as they help so so much in motivation and let me know what you guys like!
> 
> As always, stay safe y’all 💕


	29. Nothing’s Changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Hidgens gets a bit of an important phone call he decides to visit someone of Emma’s past, without her knowing anything of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TW: for suicide mentions and kind of for attempted suicide however that is for the way in which you interpret the meaning behind the characters actions. And TW for drugs mention)

“Dad where’s my jeans with the watering can patch?”

“I don’t know dear, is it in your closet?” Hidgens called as Emma peeked round the corner. He was desperately trying to pour his first cup of coffee of the school week.

“No.” Emma shook her head. 

Hidgens went to the fruit bowl and lightly tossed his kid a banana, Emma catching it in her hands. “Then go check the basket of dry clothes in the laundry room sweetie and eat on the way, we’re late.” They were always almost late but that was what the school run was for most parents right? As Emma ran off he called out “And don’t run if you’re eating!” Only the end of his sentence was punctuated by his phone ringing. 

He brought his coffee over with a sigh and picked it up from the kitchen wall so it stopped ringing. He hoped it was a short conversation. “Good morning, Hidgens residence.”

“Hidgens.”

Henry’s body froze. Except for his hand that calmly put his cup down. He would not be drinking from it during this talk, he recognised that voice. Looking to the door, he saw Emma wasn’t near, but turned around and spoke quietly anyway. “Mr. Perkins, may I remind you sir, that this restraining order includes phone calls too. The fact you even have this number is unacceptable.”

He was calm, stern but he knew no one could touch him or Emma. He just hoped Emma didn’t walk in the room, he didn’t want to even let the man hear the voice of the girl whose life he attempted to ruin.

“Yeah well this is important.”

“Frankly I don’t care.” Hidgens busied out. He needed this voice out of his life and wanted to get his daughter to school on time. Unfortunately her birth father didn’t seem to care either.

“Yeah well I thought you’d like to know, that’s Emma’s mother tried to kill herself last night.”

That did give Hidgens pause over the end call button. While he felt nothing on the inside, he did bow his head slightly. “I see. ‘Tried’ as in she hasn’t passed then?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then I think that’s goodbye sir.” Numb, that’s all Hidgens needed to know, but he wasn’t getting off that easy. He couldn’t even take the phone away from his ear before the gruff belly aching sounded over his speaker. “This proves it though, right? We need the girl back. Her mother needs her, like Emma needs her mo-“

“Well frankly sir I think the copious amount of drugs and past mental health issues she had might have had something to do with it, and I’m not letting you use that child as a pawn nor an excuse. Emma will not be having contact with you or your wife, ever. Good day.”

Hidgens slammed the phone back onto the wall and finally let out a breath. Well he was solid and sure in his choice. Even as a consenting adult, he didn’t think he’d let Emma anywhere near those people who abused her and gave her up. They had absolutely no rights over her and that wasn’t going to change, just because they were trying to guilt him and a six year old. 

In fact, considering she wasn’t actually dead, Emma needed to know nothing of this conversation, nor who had rang.

“Daaaad?” 

Right then his daughter walked into the room, and she was pinching the trousers she’d tried all morning to find on her legs. “I mushed banana into them. I’m sorry.”

Hidgens just smiled. Everything abandoned he walked over and Emma could clealry tell what was coming next, because she lifted up her arms in time for him to pick her up, settle her on his hip, just how they fit. With his smile smally growing he kissed her cheek, Emma smiling back, patting his own cheek softly, at least he wasn’t worried about being more late.

“Not a problem darling.” He kissed her cheek again, just wanting to do it. She was so soft, so fragile, so easily broken. He could just imagine: the call had been a diversion, his attention would be on looking up what happened the to the mother while the father stole her from school, maybe he’d steal her just because Hidgens pissed him off in their phone conversation, or because he was convinced his wife ‘needed’ their daughter they abandaoned ever since they birthed her. Well even if a bit paranoid, she was **Hidgens daughter** now, and he wasn’t risking that. 

He jostled her up again on his hip, his eyes wandering upwards like he was thinking up some master plan. “I was just thinking...” he smiled brighter to her, full teeth “Since we’re late already, how about we have a personal day today?”

Personal days were days Hidgens didn’t want Emma going in or Emma desperately didn’t want to, sometimes it was just days where they’d missed each other and wanted to be in each other’s company. And Emma’s long gasp was enough proof she still enjoyed those days more than any others. Hidgens shrugged “After all, we’re already late.”

“Yes! Thank you dad!” Emma did a happy little wriggle in her dad’s arms, fist pumping the air as she trusted him to keep holding onto her. And he did so, while laughing happily along with her antics. “Great then! How about we get you into something more clean and you come help me get whatever toppings you want on your pancakes.” He smiled.

And he continued to do so as Emma patted his cheeks between her hands lovingly, moulding and squishing them, even stroking down them like she’d seen him doing to her. Her heart tickled as she looked into his eyes with her big brown ones and giggled softly. “I love you daddy.”

Now Hidgens heart was fully back. One more kiss, to the tip of her nose, for good measure, even as she scrunched her face so cutely at that tickle. “I love you too Emma.”

So that day was full of them just watching cartoons together, playing games together, baking together. But whatever it was, it was together. Whatever it was, Hidgens didn’t let her out of his eyesight for even a second. Even if he never let her know that.

By the time it got to four Emma needed the bathroom again, and he took that opportunity to call the school. The first time she went to the bathroom he rang Garrett and asked him to report the violation of their restraining order. Talking to the school now, he asked if any of the red flags in her file had been seen through the day but none of them had, whatesover. So he thanked them and hung up as he heard the tap running and was back to rescrewing her night vision spy goggles so they could play that game again, just in time for Emma’s happy return.

“Dad I don’t wanna go to sleep.” Emma was already in her pyjamas, her legs wrapped round her dads hips and arms around his neck, face to face with him. Hidgens just walked her to her room, opening the door and turning on her fairy lights. “I know darling, but you’ve already had a nice long day.” He managed to untangle her hands and lift under her armpits to place her cross legged on her soft bed. “Haven’t you?”

Emma grabbed Ted up. “Yeah I have! But that just means I don’t wanna leave you even more!” She justified.

Laughing softly, Hidgens sat down on the side of her bed, and Emma started wriggling under the covers, laying her head on her pillow as Hidgens tucked her in. “Well I’m not leaving yet, what book are we reading tonight?”

Emma crawled _out_ of her covers, smirking cheekily at her dad as she reached over to her bookshelf by her bedside. She stroked her fingers through the shelves before pulling out one. “You haven’t read to me treasure island yet.”

“Ah of course.” Hidgens smiled, letting her crawl back in and tucking her in once more, making extra sure she saw how much effort he put into it, kissing her on the forehead and keeping up their nightly routine, before flicking to the first page.

After fifteen minutes of her dads voice she was, peacefully, out cold. Another forehead kiss and he turned the fairy lights off and gently shut the door, with that crack of light and air and noise she always felt more comfortable with.

He wondered if her parents ever knew she liked that.

Not that he thought Emma would be keeping her door any sort of open in the first place around then.

Now she was asleep he spent the night, too tempted, looking up information about her mother, more specifically seeing if there was anything online or in the news about her hospital visit. But there was nothing. 

He knew she’d be in the only hospital in Hatchetfield of course, and he swiftly made a decision for tomorrow.

~

Again they were running late this morning, but Hidgens had decided it was safe enough and best enough to let Emma go back to school today. After a call to Gary about an update on the restraining order complaint, he just had to quickly write down a note on the desk in the hallway.

`“Dear Mrs. McCree,`

`I had a very important call this morning which is why Emma is late today, apologies.”`

He started it, when he felt a presence behind him and swiftly brought the note away. Turning around Emma was standing there with her coat ready.

“Was it a work call dad?” She asked, always curious in his life.

Hidgens nodded, tuning the sheet away from her. “Yes darling.” He lied. 

`“I know this information is already in her file but I am asking again for you nor any of the staff to let anyone except the names and faces mentioned and signed off on in there to pick Emma up. Do not change that today. Please do not let her out of a teachers sight during or throughout the day. If anyone, especially including the faces in her file listed as a danger, tries to approach her call me and then the police. Most importantly please don’t tell her, as this is simply precautionary and I don’t want to scare her.  
Many thanks,  
Her father,  
Professor Henry Hidgens”`

And he signed his name at the bottom.

He folded the letter up and put it in an envelope, sealing it shut before bending down to get at a similar height to Emma. She watched him as he reached out the letter, grabbing onto her end but his hand not letting go yet, still looking at her.

“Now Emma promise me you won’t look inside, it’s very boring adult stuff.” Hidgens asked, eyes serious.

But Emma smirked. “I promissssse...”

But Hidgens took the letter away and grabbed onto her hands instead, Emma’s smirk fading. “No Emma honey, I’m really asking you not to peek for me, can you do that please Emma?”

His eyes were big and begging and she knew he wouldn’t give her the letter anyway if she said no now, and she wanted to help him out. So she sighed, but smiled at Hidgens. “Okay dad, I promise!”

He smiled. “Thank you Emma, you’re really helping your old man out!” Before quickly kissing her on the head, passing her the letter he now trusted her with and taking her hand to stand up and walk to the car, ready for school.

He dropped her off at the school gates and parked his car, getting out to go straighten her coat, really to just fiddle with her more, make sure she was still okay. They were late so no one was outside, it also meant Hidgens didn’t think an extra minute would mean too much.

He leant on his knees on the rough gravel and grasped his daughter gently, and, after a moment of just looking into her eyes, pulled her into a long soft hug. He held his own hands as he wrapped them around her back, his chin on her shoulder and eyes closed, just breathing her in, trying to calm himself.

Emma hugged back, pressing her warm cheek against Hidgens and closing her eyes with a happy little smile, her fingers holding onto the hairs at the back of his neck so he couldn’t let go first. He never let go first if she gripped on there hard enough.

Hidgens tried to press his child agaisnt him as much as he could, hold her as much as he could before he had to send her off. He had no idea what the day might bring. Like she had no idea about her biological mother.

But Emma was noticing, yes Hidgens wasn’t letting her go, which was normally good, but he wasn’t pulling back at all. And they’d been hugging for an awful long time. “Daddy? Is everything okie dokie?”

Hidgens laughed as she asked that muffled into his cheek. He pulled back, sorry for scaring her, but only a smirk in his face. Stroking his thumbs down her soft cheeks he laughed in a sigh. “I’m fine, I’ll just miss you kiddo.”

“I’ll miss you too!” Emma hugged him close again, giggling before pulling back to show her toothy baby-teethed smile. “I always do.”

And with that Hidgens took her hand and walked her into reception, letting the receptionist walk her to class and finally waving her away as she was inside the building and with a responsible adult leading her around.

~

Hidgens couldn’t believe he could just say he was someone’s brother and the hospital staff would give him all the information he wanted. Clearly it was either very boring or there were never any big threats in Hatchetfield general, not that he was a threat.

He’d read the report. An overdose of a mix of some prescription and very illegal drugs, but something she woke up from hours later. He was glad it at least said the husband was the one to have found her, not Jane.

He walked through the wards until he finally found who he was looking for. The whole place smelt of sterilisation and hand sanitiser which as a biologist he usually didn’t mind, but now it was making him feel sick. This place was too bright and clean to harbour the someone he hadn’t seen in a while. Down the hallway he went until he saw the woman who, while looking nothing like the girl they ostracised, was the mother of his daughter. In the hospital bed, with greasy hair and pale sallow skin, and asleep.

Hidgens took off his coat and placed it on the back of the chair at her bedside, before sitting in it, leaning forward and arms crossed on his knees, luckily not too close to her face. But close enough that when he sat the woman, who must’ve only been half asleep, could feel a change in the air.

She started to stir, her eyes blinking confusedly for a moment as she gathered her surroundings, until she met Hidgens gaze. And her face sank into a blissed and peaceful smile, raising out her weak and shaky hand to him. “Did you bring my baby?”

Hidgens stony body did not falter. He did not reach for her hand. “No.” He spoke clearly. “I did not bring the child.”

There was a pause for a second. The ex-mother licking her lips and eyes flicking around dangerously fast, hand retreating, until her eyes nearly bulged begging the man who’d adopted her duaghter to look into them. “I’m sorry!” It came out very quick.

Hidgens just raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry for the way we were back then!” Her voice broke and the machine she was connected to started beeping faster. 

Hidgens blocked all those sounds out with ease, but he couldn’t stop himself from seeing those tears well up into her eyes. Well he could when he pinched the bridge of his nose and screwed his own eyes shut. He’d look anywhere except those eyes. 

“We’re different now! We’re trying so hard.” She licked her lips as she desperately clamoured words out. Hidgens wondered how they could try hard when their youngest daughter wasn’t even around, they only had the girl they were always decent to anyways.

“Trying to be good enough for her to be able to come back home.”

_That_ made Hidgens sit up straight. 

He even interrupted for the first time when he had been trying to keep him compusure. “She’s never going back there and that’s not and never was her home.” He sighed out so quick and muttered it was like he wasn’t speaking for her.

“I’m sorry!!” The mother cried, sobbing now, hands with needles sticking into them brought to her face to hide her shame. She quickly brought them down though, eyes sharp and scary on Hidgens. Even he could be scared by that look. “We’ve **changed!!**” She gasped out, loud.

But nothing she said, or cried about, or apologised for, or promises she made phased him at all. He didn’t move and his heart stayed perfectly in beat.

“I just want Emma.”

It was the first time any of them had said her name. But by then Hidgens was done. He started to stand up.

She noticed this. “I need my baby! You can’t keep her from her mother! She’s _my_ baby girl!” She just cried it, so weak. Acting like she was so harmless.

“**She’s _MY_ CHILD!**”

Everyone could hear the heart monitor skipping a beat.  
It was the first time Hidgens had ever snapped in her presence. 

But, frighteningly calm again, Hidgens stood up and tucked his chair away. “I think you just OD’d and are using Emma as an excuse after the matter.” 

Her face dropped.

“I think you found a good way to manipulate the situation, but not good enough. Because even if I believed you, it wouldn’t make a difference.” Hidgens picked up his coat from his chair, and tucked it between his arms, his task settled and finally looking her straight in the eye. 

“Frankly, I don’t care about any aspect of the waste your life has been so far. But you gave birth to two kids and they’re going to always wonder why you did it, so stick around to spare their sanity.” He shook his head once at her, taking steps back until he was at the end of her bed, never taking his eyes off her. 

“But for all I care, living or dead...” One final step back. “You can rot in hell.”

Hidgens left that hospital room completely void and black inside, much like how he walked in. Uncaring towards what may have been going on behind him in what he left. 

He didn’t care.

He would never tell Emma of this. His mind immediately went to Emma after that was over of fucking course. And he knew even from that phone call yesterday, she would Never know about this. He wouldn’t give her the _opportunity_ to feel guilty, to feel manipulated. Because it simply wasn’t Emma’s fault. 

In no way was _his daughter_ seeing those people again. He wasn’t falling for it. He was a good father. He wasn’t gonna reward their behaviour, even self destructive like her ‘mother’ just had shown. He wasn’t letting a pattern develop.

If she died...  
oh well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important announcement!!  
I’ve got a starkid tumblr!
> 
> It’s ourstarkidcrazyuniverse and it’s open for everyone to talk abt starkid or anything in particular and mostly open to talk about any of these fics or asks abt hcs etc etc! So open for anything haha. I’ve been wanting to do this for ages then just like finally made one yesterday haha so we’ll see where it goes. Absolutely no pressure to follow it it’s mostly so I can talk to y’all and more ppl in the community more gang!
> 
> (Also oof sorry for putting it in a weird place but I have no idea what I’m posting next or when that would be!)
> 
> But finally back to this, whoo we love some dark yet still in character Hidgens damn. I hope this wasn’t too dark! But poor Emma’s life is a bit dark. No manipulation for Emma!! (...or will there be..?)
> 
> As always thanks so much for reading!! Please leave any and all comments as honestly they really do help, and as always, Stay safe y’all! 💕


	30. Why Do Adults Shout?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse
> 
> Hidgens shouts at Emma :-(

Hidgens had just finished some shopping in tow with Emma by his side. He didn’t mind shopping, or being in public in general, as much anymore, not now he was with Emma. But shopping wasn’t exactly Emma’s choice of an activity. She just wasn’t old enough to be home alone yet. Not that Emma liked being away from Hidgens more than she hated long shopping trips. 

“Come on dear, almost done for the day.” Hidgens looked down at his daughter fondly, but tired. If shopping alone wasn’t slightly tiring and even numbing, shopping with a small child, even one as well behaved as his Emma, made him want to collapse in his armchair back at home. But still, he never let up that smile when he was looking at her.

And Emma very much appreciated that. She beamed her bright teeth tight back up at him. “Okay dad!”

They just had to cross over a couple of the smaller roads as they got closer to the market place and out of the town centre, where he had parked the car. He had a few bags, not allowing Emma to hold anything, except his hand when she could reach it, and the sky was just starting to become a darker orange so no one could be bothered to walk anyways. 

But, humming to herself, Emma let go of her dads hand, clearly sensing there wasn’t really enough space for her, but happily staying right by his side. Hidgens could have sworn his natural pace had slowed about in half since he got to know Emma, so he could keep up with her, not that he minded, especially when it meant he could keep her right by his side, safe.

Tired, they both slouched along, both their heads bent, obviously Hidgens overseeing much more though, and they stopped for just one second at the crossing...

Before Emma, not hearing the oncoming silent car to her left, began to walk across the road. 

And Hidgens, saw it all.

“EMMA!!!!”

Sharpened instincts activated, he reached out and grabbed the first piece of her he could, her wrist, and yanked her back onto the pavement as fast as possible. 

Emma gasped as the car beeped loudly, stopping in its tracks centimetres from where she was standing, and she finally looked up, frozen at it. But she barely got half a second to look as she was span to face Hidgens as his loud and deep voice reigned from above her.

“EMMA don’t be so stupid!!!”

He stared down at her, panicked, frightened, in disbelief, in shock. 

Then the car slowly drove on.

Danger out of the way, his expressive face dropped and turned into one of bitter sorrow and regret as he realised what he’d done. He was in shock, with himself. And Hidgens laboured breathing stilted in his lungs as he looked down to the wide eyed Emma who was just staring at him with those big brown, trusting, startled eyes. 

That’s when he let go of his firm- firm not tight- grip of her wrist, and as Emma’s arm flinched back to her side, Hidgens breathing got real slow.

His breath came out shaky, eyes flitting everywhere and licking his lips nervously, till he finally laid his eyes on her again. “I’m so sorry.” He apologised. He held a hand to his head, only for a millisecond, before licking his lips again and eyes down on her tiny shoes, crouching down and rubbing his hands warmly up her arms. He looked up to her, to read her. He can’t shout at _her_. “I shouldn’t have yelled. Can you forgive me?”

“Okay.”

Hidgens was slightly taken aback. That was very blunt of her. He stood up with slightly slitted eyes, watching Emma, safely, take up his hand in hers again, not intertwining their fingers just cupping their palms, and she looked both ways across the empty street before continuing on walking.

And Emma kept walking. Hidgens himself had trouble watching the road, he was just looking down at his daughter a lot of the time, trying to figure out her nonchalance. 

Quickly they got to the car and Hidgens busied himself helping Emma in, buckling her up and once he was done, smiling at her, patting over the safe clip on her torso as he kept her safe in the booster seat. Emma didn’t smile back.

Trying to not go as far as a frown but keeping a numb face almost similar to her own, he closed her car door. Then he flinched as it loudly slammed, and all he could hope for as he hurried to his boot to dump the bags and then his drivers seat, was that she hadn’t flinched also.

As time flew by in the drive and she’d stayed quiet, Hidgens began to finalise his hypothesis. Emma was most definitely not okay. She just said that to agree and... oh no... what if she was _scared?_

A pit of dread settled in Hidgens stomach and his heart panged. What if? What if after all this time, all this healing she’d done, all this trust they’d built up, after she’d opened up her heart, what if he’d shattered that? Just because he was a scared, pathetic- No. 

Yes he was scared right then in the moment he shouted, and he was almost even more so now, but he wasn’t going to drive himself crazy when he could be trying to fix things for Emma.

The guilt still lay heavily there though. And when they drove to the top of the hill and saw the godlen arches at the end of the lane, Hidgens smiled and looked into his rear view mirror. “Hey, McDonalds! Do you want to go Emma?”

It took a few seconds, of him driving and driving down the road, and still looking back into the mirror without saying anything until Emma responded; by simply shrugging.

Even if it was non verbal it was some sort of communication all the same. Hidgens pulled into the drive thru and got her a chocolate milkshake with her happy meal, not ordering anything for himself. He paused the car to tenderly hand the box back to her, turning fully around to make sure she grabbed it with a “There you go sweetheart.” But Emma just silently picked through and finished her food. 

All the while Hidgens hands tapped on the steering wheel nervously. He’d made a slight detour to get to McDonald’s and even though he was happy with that decision, taking longer in the car where he couldn’t look her in the eyes or hold her, if she’d want him to, was slightly unnsettling to him. He just wanted to hug Emma so tenderly and _gently_, and promise and explain everything away. Instead he asked her with a too cheery voice “So, what toy did you get?”

But still, all he received was silence. Rightfully so he thought. But he could catch Emma fondly rubbing over something small she held in her hands, just blocked from view by his mirrors limits. 

When they arrived home, getting through the agonisingly slow electronic gates that Hidgens had in part put into place to make her feel safe and now wondered if it felt like a prison, Hidgens slowly and silently pulled up, taking a breath in the drivers seat for one last seconds after he turned the key, but quickly hurrying out after it in case _that_ scared Emma and closing his door, he undid her belt and helped her out of the car. Not carrying her as he sometimes did, and she sometimes begged for, but just holding her hand until she jumped out onto the gravel, then immediately letting her go. He took her trash and threw it in the oudoor bins, getting the groceries too, Emma waiting patiently by the car, stuffing something into her pockets, before Hidgens came over and held out his hand. 

He begged himself not to jump to conclusions as she took it (this didn’t mean she was okay, maybe she did it because she was scared of the consequences of _not_ taking it) and he walked her towards the front door, only letting go to unlock it. 

Once the door was open Emma pushed past Hidgens, just skirting past his legs, and ran inside. But Hidgens couldn’t let this go on and he called out, not shouted, “Emma, please wait!”

Emma stopped in the middle of the hall. Head still hung, she turned around at his call and beckon and walked over till she was in front of him. 

He couldn’t see her eyes. Bags dropped far away, kneeling down fully in front of her, Hidgens chanced a hand on his young child’s shoulder. She didn’t flinch or move it away so he breathed a cool sigh of relief, before getting onto the important stuff. “Emma...” He tried to figure out his wording, but his first sentence came out in a jumble. “You know when you’re scared sometimes and you yell at me out of instinct, but you don’t mean it after and feel bad?” That was a mouthful. 

Emma remained silent, however, she pricked her ears and after a beat began to nod. He breathed and slowed to an almost drawling pace. “Well, adults do that too.”

Emma looked up slightly now. Her head still bent but enough Hidgens could get a flash of those beautiful eyes of hers. She tilted her head, voice confused but normal in volume. “They do?”

Smiling, both hands came to settle on her shoulders before rolling down and taking her own in his, his big thumbs rubbing the backs of her tiny hands. “Yes Emma. They do.” He tried a softer smile but it immediately left his face, feeling too guilty unt she forgave him, to be able to smile. He shook her hands just once in his. “I’m so sorry. I was scared, and it’s because I love you.”

“Is that why my parents yelled too?”

Emma fully looked up now. Eyes big and serious and searching in his, mouth slightly open as if this had the answer she’d always privately been searching for.

And Hidgens heart broke.

“No. Sorry. I don’t think so...”

He had to tell her some sort of truth, he couldn’t let her think any of that behaviour came from a place of love. And Emma nodded, seeming to get it. But seeing her drooping eyes Hidgens could tell it still hadn‘t been the answer she was hoping for.

“Oh darling girl, I’m so sorry.”  
He opened his arms and Emma, not able, not wanting to stay upset with her dad, rushed into them, forgiving him. She fully understood his explanation now at least, and she knew he wasn’t mad at her anymore. 

In a rush of her forgiveness, and her embrace which for moment he’d convinced himself he was unworthy of ever again, Hidgens moved his face into her shoulder as she came forward, holding Emma close in his arms, closing his eyes and breathing her in. “Oh I am so sorry.” He kept apologising over and over again, kissing her cheek or head or shoulder over and over again. All until Emma finally stroked through his dark hair and said “It’s okay dad.”

And that’s all he needed to hear.

Emma moved her head back slightly, seeing the sad look in her dads eyes even though he was smiling, she been better at catching onto that now she thought, and she leant down and gently butterfly kissed his head. “I love you too.”

Well now he’d truly heard everything he needed and wanted. He smiled as he leaned back, glad she was so so smart and could tell all the meanings in his words, but giving her a very clear “I love you too” as well. 

He was still knelt fully on the floor with his arm around Emma’s waist, when she untangled herself from him and went into her pockets. He made sure to give her his undivided attention, watching as she took out the small McDonald’s toy she’d gotten, and she was now finally, affectionately showing him. She whispered down to him. “Look daddy... it’s a lil elephant.”

Hidgens cooed lowly at the small stuffed toy, leaning his free hand forward to stroke her soft trunk, leaning his head on his daughters shoulder, whispering softly too, in the moment. “She’d beautiful. What are you gonna name her?”

Emma, just like her dad, rested her cheek calmly on him, except it landed on his head. 

He could feel her every breath, through his hand on her ribs and her cheek she rested on him and he just felt the love he always felt with her.

Finally Emma breathed out slowly, stroking down her soft fur, knowing she’d go with her smaller collection of stuffed toys on her shelves, and whispered the name against her dads head. 

“Chicken nugget.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse :-D
> 
> A smaller one but hope you enjoyed anyway! Idk I wasn’t fully feeling this but I hope it’s okay! Maybe it’s bc there was less/p much no emmas internal feelings in it or I’m just a more into the next couple of chapters for personal reasons aha
> 
> As always please leave any and all comments as they really do mean the world  
And stay safe y’all! 💕


	31. Playground Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know when you were a kid and your best friend started playing with someone else and you were horrified because they were YOUR friend? Yeah. Emma feels that a LOT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse :-D
> 
> Will be doing a character ask special for characters from this series right after this upload thanks to 100k words!

“Hi Emma!” Paul bounded up to Emma on the playground just before school started, smiling now she was here. 

Emma met him a third of the way there, sauntering but still smiling. “Hey Paul. Do you wanna go play before the bell rings?”

Paul looked up the the clock tower of Sycamore junior for a few moments, studying it, then back to Emma swinging his arms close by his side. “I don’t think we’ll have enough time to play a game.”

“Really?” Emma looked to the watch on her wrist, the loose fitting one Hidgens have her her first day where the pen marks for three o clock were permanently inked now. She wiped over them as she concentrated on which was the big hand and which was the little hand, and finally conceded with a sigh. “Bogus.”

“Well, what did your daddy make you for dinner last night?” Paul asked instead, trying to find a conversation topic until the bell rung. Luckily for both of them, the chat lasted until class. Unluckily for both of them, the teacher wasn’t happy with a certain student.

“Cynthia! Stop distracting Evelyn! This is the third time I’ve warned you and you know what that means.”

Oh everyone knew what that meant. Emma was one of the many who “Ooooh’ed!” in class, Paul who was sitting next to her, did not participate in it. 

It meant that for the day, those two would be split up and forced to sit next to other people, usually the smarter or more well behaved kids. Emma scoffed at their naughty behaviour. The teacher did warn them thrice, Emma never disobeyed Hidgens even more than once! And normally that was an accident to begin with on the rare occasion it happened. They really should know. 

“Paul Matthews!”

Paul gulped, his little heart hammering hard. What had he done?! Meanwhile Emma turned to look at him, fear slowly creeping in her eyes...

“You come sit next to Evelyn! Help her catch up with what she’s missed. Cynthia you’ll go sit with miss Hidgens.”

Emma was the first to grab Pauls hand, holding it tight and close under the table. But Paul was quick on the uptake too, reaching for Emma’s other hand to hold back. They only leaned closer as they both smally whimpered.

“Oh be good influences you two, I’m sorry that your fellow classmates bad behaviour had to effect you both too!”

Well it shouldn’t! Emma thought this was an unjust system!

“But it’ll only be for one day.”

And with that reminder from his teacher, and the fact Cynthia, who wasn’t scarier than Emma by far but still intimidating to Paul, was already up to his- her seat, Paul gave one last worried look to Emma.

Emma’s eyes grew wide, shaking her head and clinging onto his sweaty hand, but Paul had to let go, and even as Emma watched him walk away saddened that he did, she knew he had to. So she just watched him uncomfortably sit next to Evelyn, while Cynthia took up the seat of her friend.

Emma refused to pay attention to the rest of the class as an act of revolution, or rather, stubbornness. Cynthia didn’t pay her much mind, and good. Obviously the teacher knew Emma was a good student and she was happy for that, but Cynthia only wasn’t incessantly nattering in her ear because she knew Emma was scary. Not a bully, but Emma would tell her to shut up to her face and she knew she didn’t really want the teacher hearing that. Also she did literally punch a classmate in the face that one time.

This was the very start of their first class of the entire day though! And Emma could only hope poor Paul was doing alright...

Morning break finally came and Emma was more excited than after the weekends to hang with Paul! It’d been a long couple of hours but they had got there. As they all left the building in a bundle, Emma grabbed Pauls arm before he could just follow outside and tugged. “Hey I’m going to pee. I’ll be out in two mins!”

“Okay Emma.” Paul waved bye but other than that, happily walked off. 

Huh. Emma thought that was a little strange as she skipped off. But maybe he was having less separation anxiety now he’d dealt two hours with her right across the other side of the classroom. And that would be good for him, right? 

Anyway, Emma wasn’t worried. That was until she ran outside as fast as she could to spend as much time she could make up for with her friend as possible... and that’s when she saw Paul laughing with Evelyn.

Not at her. With her. And as Emma stalked quietly, cautiously, closer, she could see Evelyn was giggling too. 

She’d got some robot toy out and was showing it to Paul... and Paul was touching it! 

What was this?! Emma felt her cheeks growing red. She’d never played with him before! Another girl talking to him and Paul was just talking back?! Unbelievable! 

Emma stormed right up to Paul until he finally noticed her by his side, too caught up talking to the other girl. When he did notice her however, Paul turned towards Emma with a smile. But before he could get anything out, namely an ‘are you okay?’ judging by her bitter look, Emma snatched his hand up in hers, and without looking to the other girl, started to walk away with him. “Let’s go. We’re going to play over here now okay?”

Paul didn’t really think he got a say in the matter, but he held up his free hand to wave as Emma dragged him along. “Oh. Bye Evie!”

Evie? Oh please!

“Ow.” Paul stumbled over his own feet. “Emma you’re dragging me too hard.”

“Am not!” Emma span around. “I’m not dragging you, see?” She let go of his hand to prove she couldn’t be dragging Paul. But then took it up again softly, when seeing Pauls sad and confused eyes. “C’mon, lets go sit and play a quick game of your magic the gathering.”

It was a shame morning break was only 15 minutes long, ‘cause it meant Emma and Paul didn’t get a lot of play time. But she still sat down with him, in a dark corner away from all the other kids, and she let him lead the game. Except instead of sitting across from him like normal, she sat right next to him this time. Not that he seemed to notice. Which was good! She didn’t want him to notice. 

And Paul was straight back to normal, not noticing anything else, when Emma began to play with him like usual.

Emma was stressing almost entirely through the next class time. She just kept watching them. Watching Paul and stupid Evelyn across the room. Watching Paul teach her things she didn’t know because she was stupid, and watching Paul laugh at her stupid jokes. She couldn’t hear the jokes, but she knew they were stupid.

_(She just hoped they weren’t about her...)_

At lunch time Emma made sure to leave with Paul at the exact same time. She ran up to him, further into the classroom, and stood right by him as the kids filtered out. Unfortunately, Evelyn was not leaving with those kids!!

“Hey Emma, Evelyn wants to spend lunch with us. She said she’s in a fight with Cynthia.” Paul told Emma, stuck between the two girls as Evelyn awkwardly waved from behind Paul - protected from Emma.

Emma said nothing. But her ears rang. She took Pauls hand sharply and possessively in hers, and stuck up her chin and broadened her shoulders with pride. Evelyn just followed them both out. 

Well Emma couldn’t stop her from _stalking_ her and her friend now could she?!

She didn’t take Paul to their spot by the wizard tree, instead the three sat smack bang in the middle of the gravelly ground outside, in the centre of all the other boring kids and the boring chalked floors. 

The three sat in a very tight knit circle. Emma wanted to sit right next to Paul so the other girl couldn’t, but she also seemed to have the same idea. Emma glared madly at her and Evelyn bent her head down. 

Paul was **_her_** friend!

Even though there was no room in the centre of them, Paul took his cards out. He didn’t know Emma didn’t love this game as much as him, and that while she liked it, she only played it so much because it was his favourite game. He always thought Evelyn was one to play pretend or with dolls or something but she had asked him about his cards in class so he said he’d show her. “So...” he looked between the two, not really sensing the awkwardness or resentment in the air “who wants to play magic?”

Evelyn looked up to Paul, then to the game into his hands, then glanced to Emma with side eyes before back to him. “Can you play with three people, Paul?”

Emma’s eyes widended in shock. How dare she?!?! That idiot! And yes Emma knew that was an angry word but she was angry right now!!! Pained, angered, with nothing but hatred bubbling inside and glaring, Emma looked pointedly at the girl and stuck her tongue out _hard_at her. 

Paul gasped quietly. “That’s mean Emma.”

Emma’s eyes left the frightened girls and went straight to Pauls. He was looking so shocked at her so... disapproving. And Emma couldn’t handle that...

Everything inside her boiled to a bursting point. “No. It’s not! You- Ooooh! You just don’t get it!!!!”

But unfortunately that boiling point included physically. So as well as screaming in Paul’s face, with a red face of her own and fists balled to her side, she ran away rubbing at her eyes, frustratedly and heartbrokenly crying her little eyes out.

She ran to the shed she and Paul had once hidden from her evil dad behind. The one reserved for kissing kids because it was so dark but Emma just leant against the cool sheet metal in the shadows and rubbed at her eyes, hiccuping quietly, isolated. Paul was her only friend. Her only friend on this entire island, of her entire life, probably in the entire world. And she felt betrayed by him. 

He wouldn’t want to be her friend anymore, and he especially wouldn’t if she started getting mad like her old dad did. She just wanted it to be normal again, like it was this morning. Just her and Paul, no one else. But now all she wanted was Hidgens. She cried and begged her dad to hear her thoughts if he ever could, because her heart was hurting. She just wanted to go home and have her dad pick her up early and have her dad hold her and cry and never ever come back to school.

The rest of the day Cynthia just kept talking to her non stop, clearly bored with being good and sensing Emma wouldn’t snap at her. But Emma didn’t even look at her. Emma fully ignored her, and instead either lay her cheek on her arms and looked at, but didn’t read, her textbook, or placed her head in her arms so she could be in the darkness and warmness of her own breath, and let those hot little tickly tears roll free without anyone, including Paul, seeing.

That did mean her teacher came up to her at one point. But luckily, not to shout at her. 

“Emma dear, are you alright?”

Her lower lip trembled as she moved her head to rest her pink cheek on her arm, to look at the teacher when they were talking to her. Her dad called her dear. She wanted her dad! 

Even as a six year old, Emma could see the teacher give an actual emotional response to her clear pain and sorrow as she finally showed her face. And the teachers poor heart panged seeing the small brown eyed girl with tear stains down her cheeks. She leant closer and patted her arm soothingly, making sure the young girl looked at her. “It’s only a few more hours. Then I promise you and Paul will be sitting next to each other tomorrow! I know he’s your friend, maybe you’ll even be put up for star of the week for having to put up with this.” She smiled warmly but when Emma just buried her head again, Emma heard her walk off in her clacky heels. She thought she’d be easy to identify if she joined in on heads down thumbs up next Friday afternoon.

But mostly, Emma was thinking about how now, she might not even want Paul to sit next to her tomorrow. Not because she didn’t want it, no she wanted to hold Paul tight and make him not leave again, but because he might not want to anymore. 

Worse, what if tomorrow he was really horrible to her, like the other kids in her old school, because he thought she was mean and bad now.

It was afternoon break now and Emma just wasn’t looking forward to it. She didn’t even try to follow Paul this time... well unless you counted from far away.

She sat on the steps to the classroom, they were uncomfortable and she was all alone, but it was a high point to look out at all the other kids having fun on the playground, including Paul and Evelyn. And Emma felt miserable.

This time the girl had pointed Paul in the direction of her usual playtime spot, and Paul had trotted along behind, following her. She’d taken him away.

But what the kids didn’t know, that even if a little far away and high up, Emma could still hear them. They didn’t know because, well, they were kids.

Sat down with her robot toy Evelyn looked up to Emma then back down to Paul. 

Paul was still looking up at the stairs, but to the actual structure of them instead of at Emma, he was too worried to actually make eye contact, but when Evie placed her toy right down in front of Paul’s feet, he looked back at her. 

“You shouldn’t play with Emma anymore.” She looked right up to the other girl before shivering at Paul. “She’s mean and scary.”

Paul was surprised. He shook his head quickly, that’s not what Emma was like at all! “Oh no she’s not mean! She’s my friend, she’s erm...” He leant in closer, not wanting to upset Emmas honour by revealing this but wanting to explain for her and protect her reputation. “She’s having an upset day.” He tried.

It wasn’t exactly like she’d said that but Paul could tell. For some reason, Emma had been a bit more upset today. He just wanted the other to give her the benefit of the doubt too.

“But she doesn’t even have any other friends!” Evelyn leant in and Paul turned his head, expecting her to whisper like Emma did, with her hands to his ears. Instead the girl hissed at him quietly. _“I heard she doesn’t even have a mommy...”_

Paul huffed at that. He turned his head back and didn’t even bother hiding the distaste, as clear as it could be on a six year olds face. He used his hands and pushed himself up, away from her cool robot toy, and looked straight down into her eyes. “I don’t like you anymore. I’m gonna go play with Emma now.”

Emma, who had heard all of that, looked on in dull shock. Her arms still wrapped around her knees at her chest, watching the last second of shock on Evelyn’s face before watching Paul calmly trod over to her. She hastily wiped at her eyes and sniffled, making sure she wasn’t still crying like she had been at the start of break, but she was clear. She just held her chin to her knees, as her eyes watched Paul walk up the stairs, and finally, plop hsimelf down next to her, sharing the small step. 

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Both their voices were small. But Paul still didn’t realise Emma had heard any of that. Emma was not gonna tell him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t hang out with you much today. I promise I only wanna play with you now Emma.”

Emma unfurled her legs, sniffing which neither of the kdis caught on to, planting her feet on the step below like Paul did. She tilted her head “Are you sure?”

Solidly, Paul nodded. “Yuh huh. Don’t tell her this because I don’t want to be mean-“ he leant close and cupped his hands around his mouth, resting them against Emma’s ear to whisper privately to her “but she was a bit boring. She didn’t wanna play any of our games with me.”

Emma giggled. Pulling away and rubbing at her ear that tickled, but once done leaning that arm against Pauls. “Okay I promise.” Though she would love to say that to her face.

“So...” she shuffled in closer, squeezing right up next to Paul on the step, kicking out the little black bits of tarmac on the step below her “Are you my best friend again now?”

“Emma!” Paul giggled into his hand. And Emma almost didn’t appreciate that, until- “You’re so silly. You’ve always been my best friend forever!”

Emma’s mouth opened into a little ‘o’, as Paul hugged her shoulder, sensing his friend needed a hug and wanting to give her one. “You don’t have to worry about that!”

And Emma wrapped her arms back around her best friend forever too. Closing her eyes for one moment against her friend she felt safe with, comforted by.

“Paul?”

“Yeah Emma?”

She leant back, letting go of her friend and slumping into her seat. “I didn’t have any friends at my old school. And my old mom and dad said it was because I’m bad but Hidgens says I’m not!” She made sure to emphasise that point to Paul, voice getting slightly louder. “They were bad and you’re my friend so it’s fine! All fine...” Emma grumbled that last point stubbornly. Still she wasn’t worried. If Paul was her friend then it proved Hidgens was right and her old parents were wrong.

At seeing her grumpy at the point, almost like she had to convince herself of it, Paul lightly elbowed her, like she did him but gentler, knocking that pout off her face. “You are really silly Emma.” He smiled, and she smiled back. And that’s when he gasped as a brilliant thought came to his head. “Hey! We should have a play date today!”

Emma gasped too once Paul had shared his thought, immediately excited for the prospect. “What, oh cool!”

Paul rocked on the step giddily. “Do you want to come to my house?”

On the inside, Emma still wanted to be with Hidgens today, even though her problems had been solved, now she wanted him. So she straight away put forward “Do you want to come to mine?”

“Okay!” Paul just answered immediately, and Emma brightened up, tapping her hands against her legs now excitedly too. She was gonna have a play date with Paul after school!

“We just need to ask our parents when school ends.” Paul pointed out and Emma nodded, taking Pauls hand up in hers and he happily bobbed his head, as she already knew of one parent who couldn’t say no to her.

The rest of the afternoon classes were a bit annoying. Emma was sad to leave Paul after break but she promised they’d talk more about asking their parents today when they could. So throughout the lessons they just kept looking over at each other from across the room, the girls they were sitting next to silent and avoiding eye contact, whereas whenever Paul or Emma would break eye contact with each other they’d go into a quiet fit of excited giggles. 

At one point Emma even made the excuse to sharpen her pencil so she could go all the way over to the bin by Pauls table and chat to him there. Only for a minute incase the teacher noticed but Emma hadn’t even paid enough attention to Evie to want to rub it in her face, she was just happy talking to Paul about what they were gonna do today once their parents said yes. She refused to believe it’d be an if. Not today.

Once the last bell finally rung Emma was happily surprised when Paul grabbed her first and started to run outside. She followed, slightly behind, but giggling, waiting by the doors till they could see whoever’s parents they could spot first.

Of course, Emma spotted Hidgens straight away. She grabbed Pauls hand when he didn’t see and made him run with her, both their coats blew open in the wind as they bounded up to him together. Hidgens just stood there trying to contain an amused and heart warmed smile at the two children.

“Daddy? Can Paul come over to play today pleeeease?” She grinned up at him with her bright teeth and Paul just followed her lead, although so unnaturally on him it almost looked like he was pulling a face. 

Hidgens chuckled, He was ever constantly glad Emma had a good friend. “Well if it’s alright with Pauls parents it’s alright with me.”

“Yes!” Emma whispered to herself, still attached to Pauls hand as he shouted “Mommy!” Clearly having spotted her and shown even more by the speed he lead Emma off with. 

Emma rushed to a stop with Paul, smiling up at his parents sweetly as Paul asked them. “Mommy, daddy, can I go to Emma’s house today?”

His parents started out smiling at Emma, then looked between the two of them and shrugged, having one of those wordless adult conversations. “Well if it’s okay with Emma’s daddy it’s okay with me.”

Emma ran back with Paul to her dad, rolling her eyes to him once they were out the way of any parents and Paul giggled back loudly. Wow all parents were just like that huh! You think they’d learn at one point. 

“Dad! Daddy they said it’s alright, so c’mon let’s go!” Emma grabbed hold of Hidgens hand with her free one, trying to drag her boys back to the car so they wouldn’t lose daylight. “We don’t have all day!” But Hidgens pat her hand and easily started moving the two small kids, Emma on his hand and Paul attached to hers, the other way. “One second honey. Let me just talk to Pauls parents first, make sure”

“Ugh, daaaad.” Emma said but didn’t complain further, it’d be quicker that way. Plus she’s said it with a smile on her face, and Hidgens moving how he held her hand to tickle the inside of her palm once she said that got her giggling long enough for him to come up to Pauls parents anyway. 

While the adults discussed timings and stuff quickly Emma managed to show Paul what her Dad did to her palm and wrist and Paul was creasing in on himself laughing almost too loud for the parents to hear. Which was a good sign for all three of them. 

But quickly it was agreed and Paul hugged his parents goodbye before being dragged off by a happy Emma and walked to Emma’s dads car.

Hidgens helped them both in the backseat, having a spare booster seat in his boot incase Emma’s ever broke, he got that out for Paul and while he was driving he listened to them natter non stop. Sometimes Emma would ask him for input in the conversations and he was happy enough she wanted to include him, but also happy she had a friend her age she could happily talk to and be with.

“So!” He exclaimed in the car, turning the Disney cd down. “Would anyone like to go to the park?”

Emma’s hand shot up. “Yes yes, please dad!”

Meanwhile Paul happily nodded from the back.

So Emma and Paul got to go to the park.

“I’m so winning!” Emma shouted behind her, as her and Paul competed in the obstacle course her dad had made up for her a long time ago, on all the park stuff in this wood chipped area. She was already at the climbing frames whereas Paul was only just completing the monkey bars. “Nuh uh! I’m faster than you Emma I’ll beat you in the final race!” Paul cheered for himself, extremely high energy. They’d already spent 45 minutes playing in the park and he was having a wonderful time with Emma. 

Emma poked her head out from the wooden boards atop the small castle. “Well that doesn’t matter if I’m already miles ahead!” And with that she slid down the fireman’s pole, only one rope bridge and slide away from the sprint. And Pauls eyes widened. He quickly finished the monkey bars and he only had a spinny log to cross before he was at the climbing frame/castle Emma was in. So he was gonna catch up to her!

Paul ran across the rolling log, slightly high up and meant for bigger kids, but Emma, even though she came here a lot, had passed it easily. So after keeping his arms out in the air for balance, Paul decided to speed things up a notch. 

The next thing Emma heard was a soft crash and then loud wailing. She spun her head back and saw Paul on the ground. Quickly giving up her race, she ran back to him, falling to his side.

Poor Paul sobbed on the ground. His stomach had done a big flip when he fell and he got so scared. It was a big shock. But not to mention his stinging knee. 

“Oh no Paul, what happened!”

Paul cried to himself, hiccuping and out of breath as he held his leg, rubbing right below his kneecap red faced, his bottom lip trembling.

Emma leant down on her knees and kissed below his knee where it seemed safe, over his slightly dirty trousers, and although Paul stopped wailing as loudly he still was sobbing to himself. 

So quick to take action, Emma put her shoulder under Pauls arm and shoved him up, ignoring psi cry at that, as she began to walk him. “Don’t worry Paul. My daddy is a biology teacher, he can fix it. Don’t cry.” She shushed him comfortingly, her voice starting to shake for her friend as she didn’t like listening to him cry, as she walked him up to Hidgens who had been marking some tests under a tree in the shade. 

He quickly stood up and his face dropped with sympathy as he saw his daughter helping a limping, shaking and crying boy under his charge, who was her only friend, right to him. “Oh no, what happened?”

“Paul hurt his knee daddy.”

“Oh dear, Paul.”

Hidgens sat down on the grass and he asked Emma to sit Paul down there too. Carefully he unrolled the bottom leg of Pauls trousers, not touching the skin, and he soon found the scrape on his knee, bleeding red. 

“Oh dear me, what a fall.” Hidgens told him, Paul still hiccuping in the grass while Emma kept stood up, stroking his hair. “It’s okay Paul.” She kept whispering to him, sprinkled in with promises of “My Dad will help.”

Hidgens got out his mini first aid kit he always kept with him, and gently moved Pauls leg onto his. “Now can you be brave for me Paul? I’m going to have to touch it just a little.”

Paul shook like a leaf under him but he quickly nodded his head. He didn’t dare say anything else, biting down on his bottom lip. 

Hidgens sorted him out easily with a quick wipe to clean it, one that wouldn’t hurt so he always carried around for Emma, since she always seemed to be scraping herself in sports or falling over playing or knocking into something or even someone, and once that was done and he’d wiped the excess blood away as well as from the kids line of sight, he put a plaster over it. Job done.

He rolled down Paul’s trouser leg and noticed, much like Emma, as soon as the band aid was on and the wound was out of sight, the crying had near stopped. Just a bit of shaking left now. 

Hidgens pat Pauls arm comfortingly, giving the young boy a very fatherly smile. “There you go son.” 

Paul looked down to his knee, and tried stretching it, flinching a little but moving his head further into Emma’s hand at the movement. It hardly hurt anymore. Paul hiccuped “Th-Thank you E-Emma’s Daddy.”

The father laughed smally at that, smiling kindly to him. “You can just call me Hidgens Paul, don’t you worry.”

Paul looked up into his eyes, and nodded at him. His own lessening in red now, Emma leaned down to throw her arms around Pauls neck, now he’d stopped crying. 

“Now, after Paul has been so brave, and Emma has been so kind-“ Emma lit up at that- “who would like some ice cream?”

“Oh yes please!” Emma lit up further. Paul enthusiastically nodded below. Hidgens turned to him with a smile. “Paul? Can you walk?”

But in what surprised him, Paul shook his head. “Nuh uh.”

Hidgens blinked a little, before a small smile started to appear on his lips as an idea came to mind. “You need me to carry you son?”

Pauls red eyes lit up then, holding his arms out for the comfort. “Uh huh.”

So Hidgens took the two kids around the park with their ice cream, Paul riding on his shoulders while licking his chocolate ice cream and Hidgens holding his good leg to keep him steady in one hand, while his other held onto Emma’s hand that she kept wanting to take even as he carried a no longer crying Paul. Eating her butterscotch with her hand and even with such tiny hands balancing Hidgens strawberry cone in it too. 

By the time they got home Hidgens went straight to making a meal for them both, happy to have another guest and Emma’s friend over, even if it meant he barely got any time with her in the day, as she stayed in the playroom or exploring around the mansion with Paul, he was glad to see her have ties to someone else and someone as young as her. 

And by the time it came for Pauls parents to pick him up at 6:30, only half an hour before bedtime, Emma tried hiding Paul from his parents in every place imaginable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse :-D
> 
> GUYS! After this upload I will be doing Character Asks for all the characters from this series because we just hit over 100K words!!!
> 
> I am genuinely shocked I have gotten this far and it’s all down to you guys. Idk if I’ve said this here before, but I literally thought this’d be a series I’d have a to stop a few chapters in, not because I didn’t enjoy it, but because absolutely no one would read it and it’s just take time away from stuff people would want to read. Thank you all for all your lovely comments over time (also if you souring mind leavin a comment here bc I liked this cheater esp too that’d be v noice ;-) ) they’ve meant a lot and allowed me to continue with this series which I never thought, until reading some of your comments, could mean so much, or even anything, to anyone. 
> 
> Thank you so so much again and again and hopefully i’ll See some of y’all over on tumblr! Even if not for a character ask aha  
Stay safe y’all 💕


	32. Test Of Worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma scores low on some tests for the first time with her dad and she is shitting it

“Emma, a 49%? That’s less than half!”

“I know how percentages work miss.” Emma told her as she scribbled into her workbook, not looking up. She wasn’t stupid, her dad taught her loads of stuff and she understood it. It was reading time and the class split into groups of five, some would sit outside, others in other classrooms, some on the playground, apparently it was hard to make all of them quiet when they were together. Not like Paul and Emma ever had that problem though. She was a good student! ...Well she only talked to Paul at least.

But Paul looked up. He was already feeling second hand worry. And as the teacher leaned their hand on Emma’s desk Emma finally looked up, not liking having someone hover over her back like that. It made her spine tingle. She backed up in her seat while she watched her.

“Well I’m glad you’re ahead in your maths, but maybe you could devote some of that brain to your geography.” The teachers lips were in a thin line, and Emma dropped her pen to hold her hands to her stomach, not looking up now. She didn’t like when people were annoyed with her, she could sense it, all the adults- except Hidgens- thought kids were stupid but they knew more than they thought. “You did great on your countries of the world! Why has the last few weeks been any different? Are you just not trying?”

“No!” Emma shouted, before taking in a breath and making sure to lower her voice. Do the breathing like Hidgens showed her, so she didn’t get angry or scared. Paul moved closer to hold her hand under the table and she squeezed it on every breath. “I just don’t know the lessons on the stuff around here.”

“The local ‘stuff’.”

“Okay! I get it!” Emma snapped. She still looked straight down at the table, determined not to cry. Pauls hand wasn’t sweaty, it was hers, she knew it. Her eyes were watery and hands sweaty and she felt like she was gonna choke on her own spit. She wasn’t stupid! She never got in trouble for being dumb! Not with Hidgens anyway! She tried so hard to be smart and half the time she didn’t even need to try that hard! She was a good student!

“Well...” Mrs McCree backed off and Emma managed to use her peripheral to watch her now, looking at how her jaw poked out and her bitten nails rapped on the desk. “Maybe I’ll have to bring your father in...”

“My dad?” Emma looked up now. Eyes glossy but not crying yet. Her dad was coming? Oh yeah! Maybe he could teach her! She didn’t care, she was happy to see her dad early!

“Well that’s the last three tests you’ve failed, I think I might need to have a quick chat with him-“

Emma’s whole body tensed then exploded in a matter of milliseconds, everything crashing together at once and all she could do with her six year old energy was _scream._

_“NO!!!!”_

Emma didn’t even notice how harshly she took her hand away from Pauls. She stood up on her chair and begged. “PLEASE! Please don’t call my daddy!!!” She cried and cried, snot and tears pooling out of her, she even grabbed onto the teachers dress, pulling at it just so she knew how upset she was. 

“Emma this is hardly appropriate behaviour!!” Her teacher raised her voice, pulling Emma’s hand off of her. 

And Emma screamed. But not a scream of fear or whining, she was angry. “DON’T!!” She raised her tiny fists and started pounding them against the teacher, pulling them away with high screeches when she tried to snatch her wrists, and hitting her harder. “YOU CAN’T TELL HIM!!!”

Hidgens can’t know she’s stupid! He can’t know she’s bad! That she’s not smart like him, like his daughter should be. He’ll be so disappointed. He might be angry.   
He won’t want her if she’s stupid and gets in trouble!

“Emma!” Paul pulled at her arm, loosely though, desperate for her to come down off the chair, letting only one hand hit their teacher. The other few kids in the class were staring.

And with only one hand the teacher managed to snag it, and forcefully lead Emma off the chair, holding her arm at an uncomfortable angle to tug her around like a dog. Emma cried more. Last time her right arm had been pulled like this her old dad had dislocated it. 

“Well... I NEVER!”

Emma didn’t know if the teacher was gonna finish that sentence but she didn’t care. Once the teacher let her go, she stuffed her arms between Pauls and her bodies, keeping them safe as she cried messily into him. She didn’t want to look at the teacher she just wanted to go home but now Hidgens would hear and she was scared to go home. Not of him, but of him not wanting her there. She only allowed herself to hear her own loud hearty sobbing and feel Pauls hands shakily wrap themselves around her. She knew he was probably scared, interacting with a bad kid too. Why would Paul wanna be her friend now anyway?

“Paul? Will you escort Miss Hidgens to the principals office please, while I call her father?”

Paul didn’t even nod, he just started leading Emma away, under his arms, but as they got outside the door, the teacher rushed back out, a calmer look on her face which at least stopped Paul from feeling like he was going to have an accident from nerves.

“Emma? Is your arm okay?”

Of course, the teacher knew they hadn’t pulled her considerably hard at all. But they knew of her past too. She watched Emma shake under her only friend here and not look up to her. The teacher made apologetic eye contact with Paul and sighed to her. “I’m sorry if I scared you sweetheart. You’re really not in that big trouble, okay? Just go sit outside.”

With that, Paul watched the teacher step back into the deadly silent classroom, and he helped his best friend to the corridor outside the pricipals office, asking if she was okay and when she said she was scared, promising he’d use his mommy and daddy’s phone to call her when he got back from school tonight. 

He could only help her sit, and have a small chat before he worried he’d end up sitting there too for being late. He gave Emma a quick hug goodbye, and chanced running in the corridor, back to his classroom. 

Leaving Emma alone, in tears.

Hidgens walked into the school highly worried. He’d never gotten a call about Emma misbehaving or needing to be sent home or whatever this was about, she was always such a good kid! He could hardly believe she’d done something downright naughty. 

As he walked through the corridor, his old school fears creeping up in this setting, he got to the hall of the principals office, and there he saw Emma on one of the small plastic chairs outside. 

And his heart shattered when he saw she was in _tears_. It wasn’t like big wails, like he’d presumed it might be when hearing she’d had a big upset tantrum, (after assuming someone could have set off a trigger of hers and should be punished and informed of it) but it was the quiet type of crying, like when kids didn’t want attention but were really upset ; except it was HEAVY.

He walked closer to where she held her arms like she was shivering, and she finally looked up when he spoke. “Emma?” 

She looked over to him, then wailed once. Bringing her legs onto the chair, she cried into them planted there, and Hidgens ran to hug her, sitting on the chair next to hers and throwing his arms around her small form, almost shocked she didn’t hug him first. 

He hushed her as he rubbed her back through her shirt, she was really warm, trying to get her to look at him and tell him what was the matter. That’s when the principal came out.

“Mr. Hidgens? Would you and Emma like to come in?” She held open the door and went inside.

Hidgens took a small breath, noting Emma hadn’t moved but gently manouvering his hands till he could pick her up, getting them under her arms and holding her bundled up self to his hip. Legs not moving though from where they stayed attached to her chest, Hidgens held on under her body and kept her steady, but where she felt comfortable being, like a statue in that curled up position, closing the door behind him and sitting her on the big comfy leather chair, while he took the wooden one. Luckily, once she was placed down, Emma sat normally on the chair, her legs extended out but feet only just reaching the end of the chair, her face hidden into the sides of it, angled Hidgens way.

Well, when he pretended to shuffle in his chair, he was glad to spy that Emma was at least leaning his way ; but then he placed his hands on his lap and straightened up, getting ready to listen. He was rarely on this side of the desk, and rarely with a student so young needing to be talked to. What about, he still didn’t fully know, and he wished they’d get on with it so he could comfort Emma and, if genuinely needed, make sure she grew into the fine young lady he knew she was supposed to be.

The principal sighed, leaning forward on their desk but Hidgens knew that stance. Their back was arched, their hands weren’t clenched but open and slightly sprawled on the desk, they were, or were attempting to, look Emma in the eye. This wasn’t a strict telling off.

“Emma you’re not in big trouble, dear. There was no need to get all upset.” They started off with.

And while Hidgens didn’t appreciate the slight patronisation he liked that she started off with calming her with that fact. 

But as soon as the big talk was about to actually start, Emma shuffled herself around and jumped down from the big seat. Both adults looked surprised, but waited to see what she did, but instead of storming out of the room, like her headteacher thought for a second she might, she scrambled up onto her dad’s lap. Hidgens helped pick her up the second he realised what she was doing, and Emma burrowed herself into him, still not having stopped crying hard. 

The teacher turned to him as he tried to hold her like she wanted, though it was hard to tell. “Basically Mr. Hidgens, Emma fell a little behind in geography class, she didn’t do so well on the test score wise and hasn’t in the past two in the class either. But really it was her reaction that warranted this meeting today.”

The more she spoke to more Emma got upset. Emma was snotty and teary into Hidgens neck, her entire arms around it but one tiny fist holding tight to the back collar of his jumper, her other exploring her finger up and down the very top of his lightning scar just under the darkness of his sweater, squirming uncomfortably on his lap, not looking at the headmistress. All the while Hidgens was holding her, patting her back or jiggling her on his lap, while listening.

The teacher watched the two carefully, tapping her nails against the desk before deciding upon a new tactic and leaning back, even letting their chair lean slightly. “Our plan for the time being is something we do with a few kids in your area. But you’re absolutely fine, even exemplary in other areas!” They praised, before sitting up straighter. “Exemplary means-“

“Way better than normal, like a model, I know.” Emma mumbled, for the first time raising her flushed sticky face from Hidgens skin, lying her head on his shoulder instead now and looking to the teachers pretty nails on the desk rather than their face. But she was able to catch the smile on the bottom of her jaw. 

“See! You’re miles ahead!” They praised, genuinely proud of this student. They were a very smart one! And she could only assume the dad she was so obviously attached to, and apparently a college professor, was a part of that. 

Hidgens pat Emmas back like he was comforting a baby, a hint of a smile at how well this meeting seemed to be going, all things considered.

“We just wanted to give your daddy some after class recommendations on a few books on the subject he could buy. It’s not very serious. I’m sure with a little extra tutoring on the subject you’ll be back to normal within a couple of weeks!” They smiled to her and opened a drawer of their desk, from the inside taking out a tissue box, and pulling out a tissue, handing it to Emma. “See? Nothing to be worried about.”

Emma gingerly took it, but instead of wiping her face, used it to pat down Hidgens neck and jumper. And by the way she focused on it and didn’t look at the teacher again, the adults presumed she was done with the conversation. 

Hidgens let Emma keep patting him, as he stood up, keeping her on his hip which was easier now she let her legs limply settle against his waist, and this time he had a free hand, which he used to reach out and shake the principals own, letting her give him the short list which he quickly pocketed, thankful she wasn’t too harsh on Emma. 

“Come on darling.” He told her brightly as they left through the door, trying to find which corridor to go down in the identical looking hallways. “We’ll go straight home now.” He promised, Emma nodding her head at that plan, before leaning her cheek on the tissue on her dad’s collarbone, and pointing towards the backdoors right behind him. He made sure to angle his head so he could kiss her warm cheek, noticing when he pulled back her eyes were closed rather than staring at the fibres of his jumper she picked. And with that he walked her to the car.

He waited till they got home to properly talk, putting on a CD in the car and making an effort to sing or at least hum along to it, just so Emma didn’t get too worried. She stayed awfully quiet in the backseat though, playing with Ted at least, who Hidgens had brought with him in case she needed him.

When they did arrive home Emma didn’t even attempt to undo her seatbelt like she sometimes did, although sometimes she liked to kick her legs and wait for her daddy to do it, she just lay there, not looking to him or the house, and let him undo it. She even felt heavy in Hidgens arms as he carried her on his hip and to the front door. Not like she’d gained weight, he carried her this morning, but almost as if she was trying make herself heavier. Like she dreaded going inside. Now, so did Hidgens, too. Maybe she could sense the talk coming, kids were more perceptive than people gave them credit for. 

Hidgens locked the door and all the defences behind them like he always did, now especially to remind her she was safe in their home, before he carried her to the living room, but before he could turn that way in the hallway Emma shook her head and tugged on the neck of his jumper. “No, I wanna go to my room daddy.” She told him smally.

Hidgens sighed to himself. He’d planned to have this conversation somewhere more comfortable, but he placed her down on the floor of the near empty room, save for doors, placing Ted right next to her when she dropped him, and leant on his slightly bent knees. Emma just looked up at him with those big brown eyes. He squinted. “How do you feel, Emma?” He decided to just ask.

Emma whimpered, dropping her head to the floor. “Tired.” She barely got out. But Hidgens could still understand her. “Tired? Why’s that?”

Emma’s shoulders started trembling, and he could see the slight shine in her eyes, as the room was filled with silence...

“C-C-Cos ‘m sad..!

She buried her head into her hands and started to sob, little quiet sobs, ashamed ones, and Hidgens attempted to worriedly shush them, leaning closer and holding her shoulders gently, rubbing warm circles into them but letting her keep wiping. “Why are you sad, Emma?!” He hushed her, but Emmas cries only increased with frequency. Instead of telling her there was nothing to be upset about, like the others did, he could tell there was something genuinely upsetting her, so instead, he asked her about it. “What’s making you upset Emma?”

She shook so, removing her hands from her face but still facing the ground, just letting the tears smack there. “B-Because!.. You won’t want me anymore!!!” Her last word was cut off by a wail, but Hidgens was already rushing forwards. 

Emma opened her arms quickly for her dad, crying and choking as he went to hug her, instead of picking her up, falling to his knees himself, holding her ever so close to him as she hiccuped sobs. 

“_Emma!_ Why would I _ever_ not want you?!! I love you!!!” He told her, pulling back to take her soft face between his hands just as softly, lightly shaking her once. “I love you!” It came out quieter than her cries. 

“You’ll take me back!” She screamed, bursting into a round of sobs that had to hurt her.

“EMMA! I’d **never** do that!!!!” His face distraught and teary himself now, jaw dropped, eyes searching his girls for a sense of an answer. 

Emma cried harder, she didn’t like seeing her daddy cry, it wasn’t right. She didn’t like it even more when _she_ made him cry! “B-Because I failed! I’m dumb! I’m stupid, stupid!” Emma tried to hit her head against his shoulder, too overwhelmed, but more forcefully than she ever used to, even when she was really used to her demons, before he even adopted her. Hidgens hurriedly placed his hand between his shoulder and her head, knowing what was happening and softening the blows before taking her face and holding it in his left, tucking her hair behind her ear like he always did until she stopped trying to. “Emma..!” He said it softly, just in awe. He couldn’t stand to see her like this, it hurt too much.

Emma sobbed harder when she looked at his eyes. “I’m not good enough like you!”

“That’s ridiculous! You’re plenty better than me!”

“NO!” Emma screeched, collapsing to the floor and Hidgens caught her just before she could hit it, much harder than the soft carpeting in the living room. He held her like that, shifting her body onto his knees and holding her head as preciously as if she was a baby. And she was _his_ baby. 

“You’re amazing! You’re a professor and you’ve always been so genius!!” Emma screamed, screwing her eyes closed now and writhing around in his arms, even as he held her. This whole ordeal was agonising for her. “Your kid should be smart like you! And I’m not!!”

“HEY!” It wasn’t a shout, but his voice was raised and slightly firmer than usual. It made Emma stop crying at least, stop moving, even opening her eyes to look at him. He stopped cradling her and stood her up straight, his eyes full of that madness she sometimes saw, but the one that didn’t scare her anymore, as he took her arms and spoke to something deep inside her she didn’t quite understand. 

“You are my daughter.”

He promised her of that. Emma hiccuped and it hurt her chest, but her tears had stopped rolling. He stood up now, but he cupped his hand around her cheek, letting her hand grab onto his other and keeping it low for her, smoothing over her skin on both accounts so. “You have to be smart.” He finally smiled, his eyes losing a little bit of their pain, and Emma understood the use of that finally as he continued. “You have to be smart, you’re my daughter.” 

Emma also didn’t understand how her emotions could change so, but hearing that in his voice, from him, as he looked down at her, made this exploding fuzzy feeling breach out inside of her. And she wiped the back of her hand over her face as she looked up at him, and she _giggled_. “And you’re very smart.” She added to his logic. It just made sense!

“That’s right!” Hidgens enthusiastically added back, leaning down and picking her up under her armpits, throwing her in the air an inch or two before landing back in his arms, where he wrapped her legs around both his hips so she was chest to chest with him, his face glowing with fresh tears and now a smile, finally feeling able to breathe now Emma had re-learnt what he and she had known for months and months. “My kid’s always gonna be the smart one of the bunch.” He bragged, truthfully.

Emma giggled again, taking away one of his hands that held her and guiding his big thumb in both her hands, using it to wipe away the excess tears. She didn’t know why they were coming, she wasn’t sad anymore. 

Hidgens just poured love right now as he gazed down at her. And he squeezed his kid lightly in his arms. “Oh I love you so.” He didn’t even mean to say it. He was happy he did, he was always glad to verbally tell Emma of the fact. But it was just so guttural and instinctive and true, it blurted out in the silkiest voice he had. 

“Daddy?”

He half expected an ‘I love you’ back but he didn’t need one. Only she was the important one. Besides, he already knew. “Yes, my child?”

Emma giggled into his hand, using it to cover her own mouth and God Hidgens sometimes forgot how pure and delightful little kids were. Until she did some cute shit like that. He leant down and nuzzled his nose into her hair, planting kisses when she stopped giggling and finally spoke. “Can I still be a teacher like you, if I have a bad record?”

Hidgens leaned back, slightly shook, eyes and heart melted and voice like velvet. “You want to be a teacher like me?” He’d never heard that from her before.

“I dunno.”

Oh. He smiled anyway, as long as she was happy. He flicked his thumb against her chin as he moved his hand to cup the back of her head, threading his fingers carefully through her neatly combed hair. “It won’t go on any sort of permanent record darling.” He promised her, soothed her. 

“But if I do I still have to be smart enough, and I will be dad! I already am!” She clambered upward, using his own jumper to pull herself and Hidgens smiled eagerly as she got the message, while pulling herself closer till her nose smushed into his, Emma’s eyes just oozed love right back into his. “Just like you.”

“That’s right.” he nodded, hand still in her hair, he lifted his head without leaning it away, just to peck the very top of her nose. Emma giggled into his face, skin flushed, and it stayed like that, even as her dad leant down to pick up Ted, who he held, as she was too busy holding him, and walked her to the living room.

“You’re 100% Hidgens.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse :-D
> 
> Sorry for so many angsty chapters recently! I may need to rearrange my plans or it’s gonna keep going lmao. Thank you so much for reading and I hope this one was good! As always, please please leave any and all comments you have as they really do help a massive amount and stay safe y’all! 💕


	33. Stubborn Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another slice of life snippets all put together in one! For Hidgens and his (occasionally stubborn) daughter

Hidgens started to feel his dreams shifting, in that woozy still half asleep but it’s just too bright even with your eyes closed state. Peeking one of them out subconsciously, he blinked slowly as he began to see the reason why he couldn’t stretch his legs out fully. It was the little girl curled up on the left side of his bed, under the covers facing him with closed eyes and quiet breath, sound asleep in her pj’s.

It wasn’t exactly an unusual sight.

Even if he had put her to bed alone, and gone to bed himself, alone.

Hidgens closed his burning and slightly watery eyes again, before taking his hand out and placing it onto the girls warm back, dragging her closer under the sheets until he could get both his arms comfortably around her, snuggling into her forehead because she just had that baby smell, and circling through the hair on her back lazily.

Hidgens was falling back asleep when Emma started to stir only two minutes later.

Emma woke to hands around her, and smushed warm breathing against her head. Silently, she didn’t even need to open any eyes, she just reached out, a bit hard to do when curled up into the front of her dad and his hands caging her protectively from behind, but she managed to grip onto his chest, Hidgens’ skin getting numb to the slight pain over the months. She just grabbed on and breathed deeply, smelling the cleanliness of the room but the faint sweat on her dad’s shirt which she actually loved the smell of, it was comforting, and she bustled into his warmth, with a cute yawn that ended on a whine like that of a puppy.

They both stayed like that, half asleep half awake, cuddling dozily for minutes, until Hidgens, too awake and knowing he wasn't going back to blissful sleep, cracked open his eyes to watch the dream in front of him. Just watching her, his daughter so at peace, so trusting of him, of anyone, so tranquil.

Eventually, Emma cracked hers. Her eyes flitted, watching his until she closed them again, moaning smally. 

His hand was warm on her back as she tucked into him, fully in fetal position now, smelling the sweat and sleep and just the smell of her dad and his bed, hands planting onto his big chest now instead and in her shuffle, her nose hitting his arms, as being curled like that made it too hot, too distracting to sleep, but at least she felt safe.

Hidgens was fully opening his eyes, if not still slightly blurry, and slitted, as he got her curled into him. He was long and she was small. He moved his arm to shield her better and her head was buried into his chest, holding his hand more securely on her back. She had smooth unwrinkled baby skin like he saw on her tiny hands curled into him, as his, older and more scarred, curled around her, the protector. He believed he’d noticed another wrinkle in the joints of his left hand last night, but he took no notice to inspect it further. Plus a six year old gave you almost no free time, not that he was complaining. Only thirty three years older than Emma, still a pretty young dad, right?

Hidgens leant his face forward, her eyes closed but sensing her body relax, and planted a long kiss to her forehead, keeping his lips there for a while. 

More minutes passed, and Hidgens brain was, while raring to go, still giving him the positive chemicals seeing Emma like this, being with her like this. But, he couldn’t stay in bed all day.

Eventually, he muttered “Good morning.” Sounding much gravellier and rougher and like he needed another five minutes more than he felt. Meanwhile she just grunted back, significantly lower and sleepier than him. 

He smiled, even though watching her face scrunch up in detest, eyes still closed, it was cute. His knees bounced up an inch and they jolted softly under Emma’s legs. “Are we ready to get up?”

Another sound, but instead of grunting, Emma _whimpered_, holding him tighter and definitely leaving bruises, scrunching up her whole body into his as small as she could get, and shaking her head into his bed and chest. “Five more minutes?”

But then other times, Hidgens’ wake up calls weren’t so peaceful. 

Emma crawled over Hidgens’ bed, on top of his long body she severely underestimated the length of underneath the covers, and accidentally knelt right on his foot. 

“Ah!” Hidgens woke with a snort, startled, shielding his poor foot into the crook of his knee and collapsing back into bed as he saw it was only Emma accidentally attacking him.

“Dad wake up.” She sang, crawling until she was sat on his chest, and luckily she was light enough Hidgens allowed it. Well, after looking over at his clock. “Emma you can’t get up at six am on a school day?” He asked, never understanding her energy or how her body clock worked, no matter how much he researched it, his face scrunching up wanting to go back to sleep.

That was when he felt his cheeks between her tiny palms, and when he looked up Emma was peering over him with concentrating on squishing his cheeks and lips together.

“You look like a duck.”

After a few seconds of letting that statement sink in he sat up and grabbed her, attacking her with his lips and quacks and pretending to gnash or peck at her. Emma liked that she got attention from the second she woke.

Emma was a good kid, she was smart, she did what she knew was good and would make him happy… but sometimes she could be stubborn. And more so than a regular child. He’d seen some reports from her old school but chalked it up to the ‘parenting’ - if you could even call it that - at the time. But he did wonder occasionally if maybe his praising for her debate skills was something else. Sometimes it was for cute reasons though and you could hardly call it stubbornness, like most mornings in. It was very rarely towards him too. And sometimes, her frustratedness was very well reasoned behind.

He heard the banging noises and deranged notes coming from his music room, there was only one reason as to why that was happening. Well, that or ghosts. As he walked through the open door, he saw Emma clanging her small fingers against all the keys she could. He leaned against the doorframe, watching her, until eventually Emma sensed him behind her. She looked over her shoulder, smiled, and pressed against the all the wrong keys dramatically again. “Look dad, I’m playing piano!”

“Oh you are! I heard you all the way down the hall, it was very nice Emma.” He lied fondly. Well, it was nice to see her in his stool, knowing she was copying some of his behaviour.

“Dad I wanna play piano just like you.”

And that was nice too. 

Emma beamed as her dad walked forward, shuffling over on the stool to give him space, as he sat down next to her, stroking his fingers across the keys elegantly. Emma watched in awe as he played a small tune, one she’d never heard before, that sounded so jovial, and bouncy. 

“What song is that?” She asked, ever eager to learn and maybe even learn to play it for him one day! Even if she only heard about ten seconds of it.

“Oh no, that was just a bit of improv.”

“...You’re so cool.”

Hidgens laughed, neck and cheeks blushy, just as he took her fingers, and gently placed them on some keys that would sound nice together. Of course, he had to take into account the fact her hands were tiny.

“Now, do you know what any of these keys are called?” He was in the process of teaching her notes and how to read them, but Emma shook her head at that. Fair enough. “Oh that’s fine, I didn’t even know the keys when I started playing as a boy, I just knew what to press and what sounded just right…” He remembered fondly. Shaking his head, he began to teach her which keys were which, and like a diligent student Emma listened. But after her second test she pulled on his sleeve, just as it brushed against the white keys. “Dad I want to learn a song now.”

Smiling, Hidgens moved her fingers into position “Ah yes, the fun part.” and showed her the notes each key played, and how when played in a specific order, she was playing ‘hot cross buns’. After all, it was the stereotypical first song people learnt on most instruments.

And Emma had a blast that day. She made Hidgens go find the camcorder and delete the version where she messed up, but made sure he recorded her first time playing her first song on piano properly, and Hidgens was glad she reminded him about the camera in all honesty. He was also glad there was a perfectly positioned shelf he could place it on too, because he really wanted to live in this moment.

“Emma, I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Emma came running downstairs, sliding down the bannister which Hidgens kept reminding her not to do, but she swore she only did it when he was watching, to give credit to her she wasn’t a half bad liar at six years old. “Ooh what is it?!” Emma squealed, hopping off the bannister and continuing to hop over to Hidgens. “Puuuppy, puuupy!!!” At his feet, she bounced up and down now, clinging to his shirt and tugging it with her.

“Aha no, not a puppy today dear.” Hidgens unwrapped her hands, thinking over her big birthday present yet again, and held them in his own. Half his shirts were stretched at this rate. “I have booked the best piano teacher on the island to give you private lessons!” 

Hidgens smiled happy at his gift. Emma stopped bouncing. This wasn’t better than a puppy. But she smiled anyway after her initial loss and swung his hands in front of him, genuinely grateful. “Ooh thank you daddy! I’ll be nearly as good as you one day!”

“Oh-“ He lifted his daughter up in one swift motion and placed her on his hip- “I think you’ll be even better.”

Emma smiled easier at being picked up, placing her hands against his chest and shaking her head challengingly. “Nuh uh.”

“Yuh huh!” Hidgens nodded, in the same tone and expression as her, walking her to the kitchen to get her a snack.

“No no no! If you have no natural talent now is it even worth teaching you, girl?!”

Emma tried to quieten the sobs that were threatening to burst from her chest, keeping her red face bent down to avoid the old woman’s glare.

“I’ve taught prodigy’s, people who are world renowned in the orchestra now!-“ Emma thought she was going to say more but she cut herself off by lightly slapping Emma’s hand on the keys. Emma jumped, hurriedly sitting on them. “Don’t cry onto my piano! Christ, buck up girl. You’ll pay if you damage the strings with your corcodile tears.”

Now Emma knew what crocodile tears were, and these certainly weren’t those. Her mum always used to lie and say she had them.

“There’s no need to cry. You’ve just got to practice harder. Now start with the C _minor_, again.” Emma swore she had known the difference between the minor and major keys when she was with her dad! But before Emma could get her shaky hands to the keys from under her lap, the teacher used a ruler and forced Emma’s chin up. Emma sobbed, throat gulping and just hoped she wouldn’t use the ruler to ‘straighten’ her fingers. 

Once let go, after a ‘fixing’ of her posture, Emma played one key, tentatively. No praise, no reaction. Then the second, then the third-

“Speed up girl!”

The fifth and sixth and-

“Good God! Do you need me to say white and black keys to your left and right? I’ve taught two years olds, Hidgens!”

“I-I’m trying.” Emma stood up for herself, wanting to leap out this uncomfy seat and never ever play a piano again.

“No you’re not you’re crying. You can’t do both.”

Emma didn’t think that was a rule but she didn’t say anything. Instead she forced the tears to stop streaming and to be quiet, which was easy for her, and her whole body dulled in response, as the teacher let her finish twinkle twinkle little star. With a ton of mistakes in between.

Emma almost felt good when the teacher was so appalled they had to stop sitting with her and step away to shake their head. 

“Christ, and your father played so beautifully. You’re not very much like him are you?”

Emma’s whole body had sunk most of her emotions in what was a natural instinct to protect herself physically, now they all clustered into rage and that’s all she had inside her. Emma jumped off the stool, stood up, faced the old bat, and slammed the lid of the piano down.

“BE CAREFUL OF YOUR FINGERS!!”

Emma didn’t respond to her shriek. She was too busy walking out the door, where she promptly threw herself onto a chair outside, with the family waiting for their next lesson, and she sat there, too angry to speak and refusing to set foot back in. She hoped this was a warning to the kid next to her, he looked like a wimp, he couldn't handle her.

When Hidgens walked up the stairs to the waiting room, he was surprised to see Emma, looking so ‘calm’ she almost looked catatonic, definitely not a natural calm for a six year old, sitting on the chair outside, and the teacher standing next to her.

“Well, I’ve never had a child so disrespectful and uneager to learn. She’ll never make it in the business, that’s for sure! Not with the attitude she’s got going on right now!”

Ah. Hidgens could see the problem straight away. And it certainly wasn’t his daughters attitude. He took Emma’s hand and she immediately stood up. “Yes well you won’t be getting _our_ business again. Don’t ever speak about Emma like that.”

He walked Emma away, refusing to look back, and once they were outside, breathing in the cool air. The streetlights had come on since he’d gone inside. Able to now take in his surroundings, he was able to feel his small child who was just peering up at him, clinging on to his hand. “Well I should definitely meet with people before we get you any one on one lessons from now on.”

He looked down at her, making sure she was okay, she could tell, and the emotions in Emma’s body morphed, coming to be released but all switching into light, as she just smiled at her father with nothing but love. 

From then on, Hidgens was the only one to teach her. He wasn’t harsh, he didn’t pressure. He placed his hands softly on top of hers and they felt the music together. And Emma wanted to learn the piano because she just wanted to bond with him.

Hidgens started to figure that out when he walked into his music room, looking for Emma, and she held out his composing paper with scribbled crayon words all over. “Look dad!” She beamed excitedly, running over to eagerly thrust the paper into his hands, waiting for him to read it. “I’m writing a script!”

Honestly, learning the piano with him were some of her favourite moments in the house.

Sometimes picking Emma up from school was an experience in itself. Even if she was happy enough.

One day he recalled waiting at the gates, seeing all the other little boys and girls run out to their mommies and daddies with smiles on their bright cheeks. 

Emma came out of the door amongst her peers, covered in mud, all over her clothes, hands and face, head to toe. And when Emma saw him her cheeks stretched just as wide, cracking the drying mud on them.

“Oh Lord.” 

His heart flattened as he watched the mud monster stampede up to him, somehow still dripping onto the floor as she went, he was sure he could hear the squelches of her feet in her shoes, and she was cunning, because she planned to jump, and seeing her fly in the air, Hidgens had to catch her.

He grunted at the unexpectedness, lifting her onto his hip tentatively as Emma tried to hug him as self-comfortingly as usual. He swayed her on his hip in the hug, wondering if she’d have a rash with her tights clinging half dry half soggy to her legs, trying to avoid as much mud damage as possible but knowing soon after taking Emma into his house that first day, mess was inevitable.

But Emma noticed she wasn’t getting all her love, and she pulled back with a big frown, and that small voice. “Daddy where are my kissies?”

Searching and not even wanting to deny her, Hidgens found a semi clean space on her forehead and quickly pecked his lips to it, when he pulled back Emma smiling, but having to pick at his lips because he definitely still got some mud on there.

Once he was done, he finally felt safe enough to open his mouth and not intake more dirt, and he looked his daughter up and down, an only questioning look on his face. “Emma what did you do today?” He asked as if it was a perfectly normal day.

And Emma seemed to think so too, by the way she tilted her head, thinking, before shrugging animatedly. “Mm not much.”

“Not much?” Hidgens asked, suspension of disbelief in his voice. “Did you fall in the mud?” Once again, Emma thought on it. “No.” Is where she landed, quite surely and looking directly into his eyes.

Hidgens thought on it a second himself, then looked up and down Emma’s completely covered body, and decided to take a shot at wording the question differently. “Did you play in the mud?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Okay.”

Emma was still nodding as he said that, not seeming to see the problem in her state and honestly, as long as she was happy, _and hadn’t eaten any of the mud_, Hidgens was fine with it.

“Oh dad, can we go to the park please?”

“Not right now, sorry sweetie, maybe later.” However Hidgens would not be seen parading her around this filthy. Emma would probably love telling the smaller kids she was a swamp monster or something. But bathtime first. Once she was cleaned up and the bath was thoroughly scrubbed after the matter, maybe then he’d give in to her will. Although judging by the rain hitting the car roof as they drove home, Hidgens didn’t think if they went to the park, Emma would want a second bath in the day.

But a muddy Emma was at least a happy one. Sometimes the school day hadn’t been the best for his little miracle. At least he could always read her like a book, not that she ever hid anything from him anyways. 

“Oh goodness…” Yet again a day Hidgens could predict just from the way Emma walked out the school doors. Stomping, frowning and stroppy. She didn’t even run over to him she just marched, at least she didn’t seem mad at him though. 

He lifted her up midway past his torso with ease and Emma clung tight to his collar, tall now, angling her head away from the rest of her peers like she was being snooty, or giving them the cold shoulder, and before Hidgens could ask- 

“Dad can we leave now?”

Emma got words in first.

“Of course”, Hidgens nodded and followed her every command, he didn’t mind, especially since she didn’t seem that saddened, only grumpy. Ah well. As long as he didn’t call her grumpy to her face, he was sure he would survive. 

He’d listen to her, make sure she was comfortable enough to speak, make sure she was okay, and then pick up the pieces with her in time for a happy day at school tomorrow.

“Pumpkin, what’s wrong?” He asked after having lightly put her down to hold her hand and swing it, as they walked out of the gates and towards the car.

Emma looked way up at him, growling something to herself and then the concrete under her, which she kicked along with a few loose leaves, until she stopped being so bitter she could finally complain to her dad. “Daddy. You will not _believe_ the day I’ve had!”

Hidgens already had to lightly bite down on his lip to stop himself from smiling, nodding along instead and turning his ear towards her. “Yes dear? I’m listening.”

Emma grumbled, swinging just under his hip and exhaling loudly through her red cheeks. “I’m the smallest in my class!”

Now instead of just smiling, Hidgens had to try hard to not _laugh_. “O-Oh?” He didn’t know why he found it so funny. Maybe it was because his tiny, even for her age, child was the stereotype of short and red faced, steam could almost be coming out her ears, from the way she’d been spurned. Maybe it’s because he’d expected her to have always known this. But he let her continue, keeping his laughter she may find offensive to himself. 

“Yeah! They ordered us in height for lunch today and I was at the VERY end- AND Paul was near the front! So that’s not very cool or sticking together of him.”

Honestly whilst Hidgens knew Paul was taller than Emma, and likely would remain that way even if Emma grew first throughout puberty, he hadn’t seemed ridiculously taller, maybe six year olds all just had very similar heights, or at least they did in Emma’s class. 

“W-Well dear,” Hidgens swallowed back any remaining chuckles, “that’s hardly Pauls fault, as you know, right?” Just to make sure she didn’t abandon her only friend in favour of pettiness, but of course, his angel was better than that and met all his expectations. “Yeah dad I know, that’s why he’s okay.”

“Well you know something else?” He asked her, clasping his other hand around hers, and that got Emma trying to catch his eyes. “No, what?”

Haha. Now for Hidgens ultimate hidden agenda. “If you eat your greens and drink all your milk before bedtime, then you’ll have plenty of good growth spurts when you’re older!” He informed her. 

Honestly he didn’t ever think she’d be that tall, not that he minded, he couldn’t bear the thought of her one day ever being taller than him, although even with an above average sized girl that was unlikely. She’d been growing more since she’d started to be fed better, and actual healthy foods that she would eat and wasn’t intolerant to. But the malnutrition from some of her most important critical years he worried would be a scar that would last on Emma forever. Maybe he’d just tell her how short her biological father actually was, about the only information he’d give on him, even if that was a lie, when she started to forget as she got older, which he hoped she would. He didn’t know what, if anything, he’d tell her, when she eventually asked…

But that was a problem for another day! The six year old had to eat her vegetables, and also be consoled about her new discovery. 

Hidgens looked down to her with a small intake of breath. “But for now-“ he picked her up once again, loving to hear to the coos and oohs that came from her when she wasn’t expecting such things, (she was so fuckin cute!) and he placed her onto the bottom of his waist, still remaining only at a similar height to him “-for now it’s cool to be special, and the number one in something.”

Emma looked down, as if she hadn’t really considered it that way before. 

Then Hidgens noticed as she took up his hand, only one needed to hold her, and not really needed the way her legs expertly clung like a monkey, so used to this big branch, so fitting together, and when Hidgens tried to hold her palm she placed his hand flat. He just watched, let her mould him, as she placed her hand carefully, wrist to wrist with Hidgens.

Ah.

Emma studied the hands for a moment, meanwhile Hidgens just stopped in his tracks. He peered over, and saw just how small Emma’s hand was compared to his. Heart soaring, he bent his fingers fully and managed to clasp them around Emma’s, as her neatly cut tips ended just where his palm ended. His hand held hers perfectly.

He could hear Emma breathing out quietly after that, and even he felt something… spiritual was the only way he could describe it, deep, just something inside him but surrounding them. Maybe it was just love.

But he continued what he was saying, almost a whisper now, Emma fully enveloped in their hands. 

“Hey, I bet you would be the only one small enough to crawl through a vent, save your school like a superhero or a spy, you know if monsters attacked or something.” He didn’t want his six year old actually crawling through vents, not on his advice and not to prove something. He lightly nudged her with a toothy smile, Emma looking up grinning at realising her power here. 

“Oh wow, you’re right dad!”

“Aren’t I always?” Hidgens mumbled playfully smug, but Emma was too busy smiling. Good enough for him.

“I’ll never eat my greens, I’m gonna stay special and cool!”

…

Great.

Sometimes she was stubborn in front of him though, it was rare, and never at all serious, the type of thing he could laugh about in the future. But Hidgens was a very big pushover when it came to his darling Emma, not that she was spoilt or at least acted like it. Sometimes she just knew how to twirl him around her little finger though.

Hidgens was in his library with Emma, in his armchair as usual whilst Emma was stomach down on the floor reading a book, there was now a whole case in his library and in her room dedicated to children’s books, including proper learning to read ones, and while Emma and her friends found the magic key, Hidgens had finally got around to the Poe collection he’d been neglecting, all with a glass of red in his hands.

Once done with her much shorter book, Emma closed it and put it away where it belonged, oh she was such a darling, before trotting over to him, the denim of her jumpsuit bunched around her ankles so she wouldn’t trip. Hidgens thought she may be asking for him to reach another book on a high shelf, as she knew she wasn’t allowed on the ladders with wheels no matter how fun they looked till she was older, or maybe she was coming to ask him to read to her, no matter what the subject matter was. Instead he leaned down and slipped his thumb between the pages as Emma rested her hands on his knees, and eyed his right hand. “Dad I wanna try!”

Hidgens looked to the red wine he was drinking, then back to his six year old. Well unexpected. He tilted his head with a smile, placing his book face down on the small rounded table next to his favourite seat. “Emma it’s an adult drink.” He explained kindly to her.

Emma just pat her hands in a fastening tune against his kneecaps. “I _know_ that Hidgens but I want just a sip!” She tried to let him understand, still eyeing the drink that looked like blood.

Hidgens clicked his tongue for a moment. “Just a sip?” Well he knew that was fine, he’d read it in the parenting books and his parents did the same for him. He still wasn’t entirely sure though.

“Uh huh! Just a taste dad!”

But Emma was nodding faster and her hands were clenching into his trouser leg, and he knew she wanted to have a go, taste the drink her dad sometimes had but she never had. He tried once more at a logical argument. “Okay but it’ll be like my coffee Emma, you won’t like it.”

Now Emmas eyes finally came to his. And her hands instead of clinging tighter, let go, and her lip started to wobble. “But you wouldn’t let me try y-your-“

“Bourbon?” Hidgens asked, remembering that moment.

“Uh huh!” Emma sounded teary, she wasn’t crying though. Now bourbon he really thought she was too young for even a sip, but wine on the other hand?? Even if it was a richer one and not the lightest he’d had before, it still wasn’t nearly as strong as a spirit. “You’re not going to like it.” He tried to tell her one more time, more because he knew she’d hate the taste rather than being opposed to her trying some at this rate. He knew the outcome of this, every minute facial expression.

“Pleeeease?” But Emma just didn’t give up. “Just a taste daddy!” And when he didn’t react, she started bouncing and tugging. “C’mon Hidgens.” 

“Okay, one sip.” He reminded her not to take too much, but, slowly, lowered the glass so she could take it in both hands, whilst he still held the neck. 

Emma put the smooth glass to her lips, feeling so grown up like her daddy as she shared his drink, and let Hidgens help her tilt it back. She got about two drops in there before she pulled it back, adhering to the rules. She saw her dad watching as she smacked her lips… then she pulled back from the drink with a big grimace on her face. 

Hidgens laughed, even though the grimace was still on there. She couldn’t even make a sound. “What’d ya think?”

Emma looked up to him. “Oh daddy no.”

He laughed once more. “Okay hold on, you want some of my Pepsi?” He wiped her lips with his sleeve, Emma happy for the riddance of the lingering red drink and took his hand as he speedily lead her to the kitchen, getting her a can from the fridge and, after opening it for her, letting her have a few sips to get rid of the taste. 

After a few glugs, Emma started to smile again. “Oh daddy this is much better!” She shone up at him. Why on earth would adults choose to drink that instead of soda? When she was big she’d never ever drink alcohol, especially wine. Ew. 

Hidgens pat her back, happy she was feeling better and had at least tried it now. “Yes well it’s almost seven, so you can’t finish it tonight, too much sugar, that was just to get the taste out of your mouth.”

He went to take it off her when Emma worked fast and held the cold drink close to her chest with both hands, eyes shocked and betrayed and almost steely at her dad. “But it’s mine!”

“No” Hidgens told her slowly, already seeing the stubborn clenching of her muscles, he held his hand out reminding her “It’s daddys.”

Emma looked into Hidgens eyes, frozen for a few seconds as she evaluated her options, until she landed on her reaction. Without looking away from his eyes, she spat directly into the can. 

It wasn't even a quick spit, it was a long trail of drool that little kids had no problem working with it seemed. And all borne of spite. 

“Oh Emma. I needed that to get the tase out of _my_ mouth!” Hidgens complained, not really wanting Emma to be a rebel kid just yet, but she was mostly always an angel. 

But at his words, Emma thought on it for a second. And then she simply realised how selfish she was being. She passed him the can, outstretched in her arms. “Okay daddy, it’s a bad taste.” She changed her mind quickly. She didn’t want her daddy to suffer like she did, she was happy to give up the sugary drink now!

Hidgens just looked down at the mixture.

Well now he didn’t want it.

Sometimes sugar was the reason for any sort of stubbornness, a normal thing for all kids.

Hidgens sat on the kitchen counter, finishing his cupcake he’d got from the store in a pair, Emma just scraping up the crumbs from the other one. He had probably a third of it left, but he didn’t really want it anymore. So he did what he usually did on isntict, and pressed his foot down to open the bin. And in went the cupcake.

“No dad don’t!”

The lid had already closed, and Hidgens turned towards Emma with a surprised look, then from her downtrodden face down to the bin. “Oh sorry.”

Emma looked up at him, her lower lip wobbling. “I wanted it.”

Ah true, he could have just given it to Emma, they didn’t mind sharing food or drinks with each other, but he hadn’t even thought about it. But now she looked a tad upset. “Oh sorry dear.” He apologised again, patting her back.

Well Emma wasn’t one to give in. Instead she walked towards her dad, then past him, and opened the bin with her soon to be even grubbier hands, leaning forward.

“Hey hey!” Hidgens took her elbow gently and lifted her head back out the bin, guiding her just beside it. “You can’t eat it if it’s been in the trash!” He said shocked.

Emma rolled her eyes when he let her go as if it was obvious. “It landed on the wrapper.” Before turning toward it again. 

“Emma hey don’t.” Hidgens warned softly, pulling her back again but by using the breadth of her shoulders. 

Emma wriggled to flee when his big arm was wrapped around them, her treasure still buried. “No no dad stop!”

“Emma I’ve got to.”

“No I’m in charge!”

Hidgens stood back, looking down at his determined six year old, pointing directly at herself, eyes stern, feet planted on the ground. His head tilted towards her after hearing that declaration, speaking slowly, as if he was unsure. “…No, I’m in charge.”

“No I am!” 

“No I’m the daddy, you’re the kid!” Hidgens argued back, pointing to himself and then her just as Emma did in their argument. Emma didn’t seem to be pleased with his logic.

“No I’m the daddy, you’re a big baby!” Yeah! Comeback and insult in one, Emma had to win, Hidgens must have been devastated. 

Instead, the man just laughed. He pressed his hand to his heart pretending to be in shock, looking down to her for clarification, unable to hide his amused look. “I’m a big baby?”

But Emma didn’t care about him teasing her or laughing about whatever it was he was laughing about. Instead she cut off eye contact, and moved back to opening the bin lid, keeping on doing what she was doing, just with a pout on her face and neatly furrowed eyebrows. “Yeah.”

She was so cute. Hidgens didn’t take her back this time, but spoke up after she’d fished the cake out of the bin, but before she had a chance to dig in. “Okay but what if I know what’s best for you?” He just gave her that thought. Plus he didn't like the whole ‘I’m the dad so I’m in charge’ mantra. Her old father certainly didn’t know what was best for her, and he wouldn’t have wanted her to blindly believe everything he said or do everything he did just because he legally got the name ‘daddy’.

Meanwhile Emma was stuck in the present, and she simply turned up to Hidgens and gave him a big shrug. “What if?”

He knew she wasn’t actually mad at him, and was just testing her limits, so he wasn’t telling her off or anything, not like he ever really could anyways. Instead, he was trying to explain his reasoning as to why he wasn’t letting her do what she wanted to her. “Okay but it’s dirty honey, you’ll get sick if you eat that.”

And finally, that made Emma look up with not mockery, not distaste, but understanding into her dad’s eyes. “I’ll get sick?” Looking back at the bin she had nothing but betrayal for the half eaten cupcake though. She set the cupcake itself on the counter.

“Yeah.” Hidgens solidified, walking forwards and hugging her from the back knowing she loved him more than the cupcake. He squeezed her shoulders, in a hug and not a restraint. “I’m just trying to keep you healthy.”

He was honest with her. He was always trying to keep her healthy and happy. Priority number one in Henry Hidgens’ life.

And Emma understood that too. She knew that he was a science teacher and always trying to keep her safe. He never did anything just to _spite_ her. No, that wasn’t her dad.

Hidgens watched Emma think about his words, before she looked down to the ground and let out a sigh, too hearty for a child. “You’re not keeping my heart healthy.” She said that clearly, before going over and hugging him, Hidgens bending down in time and hugging her shoulders at an equal height, while she did too. “Oh I’m sorry” he stroked her back in the motion she liked “why’s that?”

Emma pulled back and looked at him, red eyed and over tired. Oh his girl needed a nap. “Because it hurts because I can’t eat the cupcake now.” She placed her hands on his shoulders, telling him why she was so upset. And Hidgens always helped her when her heart hurt.

“Well I’m sorry darling Emma,” he hugged her once more, Emma squeezing back as he squished his cheek against hers. “I promise next time I’ll ask if you want to finish it first alright?”

“Okay.”

All was forgiven. Emma just wanted her dad to help her heart through the next part now. So she stayed holding his hand, her other in her mouth, chewing down on her thumb. 

Meanwhile Hidgens stood up and gestured to the cake, letting Emma throw it back and do the right thing, smiling warmly at her. 

Emma eyed the cake for seconds, just long enough for it to seem unusual, and even when she eventually picked it up, she turned it over slowly in her hands, before scrunching her face up and sticking her hand out to Hidgens. “Dad I can’t it hurts too much, you have to.”

And the fact Emma said that with a deadly serious face, made it very hard for Hidgens not to laugh.

Occasionally he just felt plain bad for being the one to burst her bubble in the first place. He always tried to be an excellent father.

E-Eee-HAHAHA-em-emmaaahahaHA!”

Hidgens was absolutely dying of laughter. Red faced, tears streaming down his face making it hard to see, limbs flailing uncontrollably, unable to talk or even breathe because he was laughing and wheezing so hard and loud. 

And Emma was so proud it was all down to her.

“E-Emma oh my goodnessss!”

“Mfh!”

Emma was nuzzling wildly into Hidgens chest and stomach, like she was trying to burrow deep and make her hair a puffy birds nest at the same time. His stomach was very ticklish.

“Emma s-stop!”

Emma laughed loudly before doing it even harder. Hidgens shrieked uproariously, much to her delight, desperately trying to push her away whilst remaining gentle. Emma was just glad _she_ was making _him_ laugh for once. 

He didn’t know why it had started. It wasn’t even like he was tickling her first and this was retaliation. She’d just come running up to him from her playroom, desperate for a cuddle it seemed and began burrowing her head into his jumper.

But instead of having to ask, Emma simply continued until she hummed softly. “I wanna crawl into your tummy like a baby.”

Well that was rather startling. Hidgens stuttered for a second, alarmed and caught off guard, not even noticing Emma had stopped to sit on his lap and look at him, noticing him frozen in place. And then, he burst into a different type of laughter. 

Emma’s face got red, and it wasn’t red when she was laughing before. She watched her dad crossly. She did not like that sort of laughter.

“Stop laughing!” She hit his elbow, crossing her arms when he didn’t stop. In fact, he looked into her eyes as she stared sternly and stubbornly up at him, and he began another chorus. She hit him again, lighter, like an actual petulant child. “Don’t laugh, daddy!” She ordered him stroppily.

“O-Okay.” Hidgens had to wipe his watery eyes, sniffing and letting the last few chuckles die down, before wrapping his hands around Emma’s hips and shuffling her slightly further away from his sensitive stomach. “Okay I’m sorry.” He apologised, not having meant to get Emma mad, but unable to not laugh at the sudden sentence. He was used to the unexpected with her, but still. “Why do you want to crawl into my tummy?” He asked, having to exhale loudly after, finally calming.

Emma lightened up a bit at him asking her why, without just laughing at her to her face and thinking it was weird or anything. It wasn’t! She had a full reason as to why. “Like with pregnant people! Cos I’m your baby, and I don’t wanna be outside anymore, I wanna be with you.” Emma explained.

Hidgens nodded, trying to think about the best way through this, and sitting up straighter now, rather than in the curled down sunken into the couch position she had mangled him into before. He tried to explain to her, without hurting her feelings. “Well I can’t do that, I’m your daddy and you’re a big girl now.”

“No you’re fibbing!” Emma accused. Heartbroken at having her plans crushed and still slightly sore about a few seconds ago.

Hidgens simply declawed her hands from the backs of his own, petting hers instead and shaking his head with kind eye contact. “No you are a big girl!”

Whining, Emma pulled on his jumper. “No daddy…” Slightly upset he wasn’t getting what she wanted. Maybe he just wasn’t trying hard enough, or was still fibbing. She really wanted to be his baby! Just her and him, bonded. 

Changing tactics, Hidgens dropped her hands and held her to his knee. “Okay but it’d be really boring in there.”

“Why?” Emma asked, looking for genuine reasons she couldn’t just crawl in and be a baby properly from Hidgens. 

“Well…” Hidgens started, gesturing smally. “What would you do?”

Emma thought about it for a moment. Then, she simply sighed dramatically, and collapsed onto Hidgens lap, idea ruined.

He at least, always found it a fun challenge to try and explain simple things to a six year old.

That wasn’t the only time she turned into a baby because she felt she wasn’t his baby enough.

“Hiya dad!” Hidgens’ daughter beamed up at him sweetly from the floor of her playroom, as he walked in and leant against the doorframe, coming to check on her. “Hello darling, you alright?”

“Yeah.” 

Looking down to her hands Emma held a baby doll there, a plastic bald one dressed up in a pink jumpsuit. She didn’t play with dolls a lot, but maybe that was because she had such an array of toys. 

“Dad come play babies with me.” Emma said now he was here, not exactly asking nor offering, but saying it endearingly, and Hidgens of course, sat down cross legged on the floor without question. He remembered the first time Emma had asked him to play with her, how he’d asked ‘how do we play?’ and how confusedly Emma looked at him. Luckily he had grown as a father. Games like that didn’t have rules. Well unless they were ones Emma Hidgens made up, right there and then. 

He watched Emma rock it, albeit a tad fast, in her arms, watched as she reached out for the milk to feed it and cooed and sung to it, he recognised the song as a lullaby he sometimes sang to her. He smiled, smitten. “How’s the baby doing today, huh?”

Slowly so she could pull back if she wanted, he reached out and took the doll from her hands, looking at its face and expressing himself as if it was a real baby, just a little bit of acting, whilst holding it as softly and carefully as. He held it in one arm as he reached out and grabbed their blanket, tucking them into his arm, all the whole cooing dotingly.

Emma watched him bounce the baby a few times in his arm and smiled, he always played with her when he wasn’t busy. But then he started taking play a little too seriously for her liking. When he looked at the baby like that Emma kept her smile, but a pit of something she didn’t grasp filled her stomach. Then she saw him tucking them in like he did with her and she quickly understood the jealousy and rage. 

_“Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree tops…”_ Hidgens sang softly, before catching the dull expression on Emma’s face. Oh. Maybe this wasn’t interesting enough play for her. He decided to be a little more animated. 

“Hello baby! Hello! Oh aren’t you so adorable? You’re so small, my small baby! Are you gonna stay small even when you grow up, huh?”

Emma listened to his rants and turned **red.**

“Oh my little baba, can you say dada? Oh you’re so small, I can rock you in my arms all night baby. You want some milk? Are you hungry?”

This was not how her game was supposed to go! Her teeth clenched until they hurt and her nails dug into her skin as she tightened her fists, frustration building up inside of her and when she panted, even though it was deathly silent she spat a little. EMMA COULD SAY DADA!

“Oh baby shall we put you in a pram? Everyone always says how cute you are when we go out!” -Huh!? Emma had only had an old lady say that like twice before!!- “Because you are! Oh yes you are!” Hidgens leaned down and pretended to blow raspberries on the toys stomach, not really wanting his lips to touch it’s dirty clothes. “But first you should take a nap. You wanna have a nap right in dada’s arms? Oh you’re such a cute baby, you’re my little baby, aren’t you? Can you say you are? Can you say ‘dada’? I’ll be ever so proud. My ickle baba.”

Hidgens went down to kiss it's bald plastic little head when he felt the toy ripped out of his arms, and he watched as Emma, who was steaming, snatched the baby doll and it chucked it as fast as she could out of her dad’s arms, a solid thump coming from the wall from it. Hidgens watched it collide with a wince. 

Then he was looking down as, as soon as his arms were free, Emma was burrowing into them herself, making herself as small as possible to tuck in, to be small enough to be held in his arms just like that doll. Her face was tucked into his arm and boiling. “New game. I’m baby.”

Ah. Aha. Hidgens couldn’t help but smile, and oh my goodness she looked so mad. He hadn’t meant to make her mad, and she didn’t seem mad at him, but goodness was she red. 

Hidgens stroked down the side of her cheek repeatedly, getting her to unclench her poor jaw… and then he started to play.

Emma felt his arms tightening around her, beginning to hold her properly, that was good. Then she was raised off his lap and she held onto his jumper by his upper chest for support… until he started rocking her. It was slow and methodical, and it almost made her sleepy…

“Oh my poor baby…”

Not sleepy. Just calm. She didn’t want to be sleepy now of all times. 

“Does my little baby not know I love her best of all in the whole wide world?” Her dad spoke in a baby voice, and it just made her happy. She was playing baby. She could be his baby, properly. 

He stood up and Emma stayed, of course, safe and balanced in his arms, and still rocking. He really could still rock her like a baby, all around the house. 

“Aw, isn’t my baby so adorable?”

Emma giggled, shrinking into his arms but reaching up to pat his face adoringly, just feeling out from his cheekbone to his jaw, eyes sparkling with pure love up at him. 

And Hidgens couldn’t help but sparkle back. “Ha-aww.” He changed his laugh of literally just pure joy at his baby he had in his life, to cooing just in case. “You take just after your father, don’t you?” He joked instead. Emma giggled under him and oh God was hearing his six year old daughter giggle from something he said was one of the best sounds on this earth.

“You’re so cute and sweet baby, just like your dada right?” He kept going, just talking to her, about anything but in that baby voice, when Emma nodded back. “Yeah.”

Hidgens gasped, smiling wide down at her and Emma didn’t understand but was happy for the reaction until- “Oh my goodness was that a word I heard?”

Emma understood then, and her hands clapped with joy, not needing to cling to stay in her strong dads arms.

“Can you say ‘dada’?” He asked, eyes wide and waiting. 

Emma gleed up at him, holding out both her grabby tiny hands and gripping his chin between them. “Dada.” She played the game, grinning.

“Oh horrah!” Hidgens jiggled her in his arms and Emma giggled joyfully, holding on slightly to his chin but enjoying the ride. Until eventually he slowed down and rocked her slightly faster instead, eyes tracing hers. “That’s such a good word. Oh you’re so big.”

Emma sat up in his arms, snapping out of the play world and smile drained. “No dad.”

“You’re my little baby, you’re just so smart!”

Emma smiled and lay back down again, snuggling into his chest while looking up at him cheirshedly.

Well that was a close one.

The rest of the afternoon Hidgens played that ‘game’ with her. She sat at the table, obviously, but he made airplane noises as he moved her food nearer her and Emma, not expecting it, was on the floor gripping onto her chair for dear life, in a heap of giggles, and her dad just kept bringing the noises closer and closer to her, even as she sunk into the cool tiles pink faced. Even as her cheeks were stuck between the tiles and her dads nuzzling nose, right until she turned her head and nuzzled her nose right back, getting a little Eskimo kiss as payment for her poorly back and exhausted lungs.

Hidgens did wonder about the psychology of it all as he played though. If she was regressing, or if this was good for her, maybe she was working things out like for a paternal infantile/blood bond, of trying to forget about her past and write a new, happier one. But Emma was smiling so hard she was physically warm so Hidgens would carry on giving both her and him oxytocin. 

As he put her to bed, after some warm milk, she lay down on the soft mattress, laughing loudly to herself as Hidgens made a show of worrying that she’d fall out of bed, and how he couldn’t find her old crib anywhere but he was sure she’d still fit into it. Then, Hidgens was kissing her goodnight. Kissing the palms of her soft hands, as she attempted to hold them in hers, kissing her tiny feet as she teased threatening to kick his face, only playfully of course, and then to the final stop. Giving her belly numerous raspberries.

“AAAAH! STOP STOPAHAHAHAAAA!!!” Emma screamed, laughing so hard she couldn’t speak as her dad kept blowing raspberries, her stomach all tickly, and screaming whenever his face came near again, playing their game they were both more used to

“PPRFFFPPT!”

“AAAHAHAHAAAAA!!” 

Emma managed to grab hold of his hair in between her grubby fingers and it was an actual grip, reminding Hidgens of a real baby, that just clung on tight and pulled whatever it could. Never wanting to let go so the adult could protect them. Actually that was quite similar as to what Emma was like when they first met. 

He couldn't move up now, but he was sure Emma had grabbed him to stop the tickles. Instead he gently collapsed against her soft tummy, letting Em move him around the way she wanted. He didn’t think he could move his head much unless dragging her along for the ride either. 

“No more daddy… I’m full up on being baby now.” Emma’s giggles lingered on in her sentence, but she was clearly tired in general too. Hidgens rose his head, pressing a small kiss to her belly button and ensuring a shrieked giggle from his kid, before resting his chin down carefully. “Okay Emma, no more baby. I have my big girl back.”

“Well no we can play again soon. And I’m not a big kid. I’m still little.”

Haha, she couldn’t decide if she was a big kid or a little one ever, but then again from his childhood memories, neither could any kid. Just whatever worked in the moment. And Hidgens thought Emma wanted to hold onto to the early childhood memories they’d both already missed out on, as much as possible. Even if he didn’t know if she understood that consciously or not yet. It took him a moment too.

He attempted to crawl up and she let him, so he could slither up the small bed, kiss her head goodnight, and, after she grabbed his hair yet again, to kiss his own cheek goodnight, he could tuck her in. Just like he did to that baby doll, just like he did to her every night. 

“Goodnight daddy.” Emma called from the dark of her room, watching as her dad closed the door just the amount she liked it, and waved their wave from the light of the hallway. “Goodnight my baby.”

The next day Emma was back to normal, and Hidgens could continue with his day, knowing there was no psychological damage there, Emma had just done some self healing, or maybe even just had a nice play!

Then he passed the open bathroom, and saw Emma on her little purple step to reach the sink, and the baby from yesterday, **drowning** in the water as she pushed it forcefully in there. 

...He would just leave her to it.

And even when he always let her know she was his baby, he could hardly blame her for being serious about making sure it was set in stone. Other mentions of babies in his household hadn’t all gone so swimmingly however...

Emma sat in the living room, on the couch, on Hidgens’ lap, as he bounced his numb knees watching her Saturday morning cartoons. He roamed his hand through her slightly knotted hair as his other arm lay lazily on her lap for support, Emma’s eyes stayed glued to the screen until he could hear the jingle for that new water gun advert starting. That reminded him he kept meaning to order a pair of those. Well he went to get his water from the side table anyway while he was alert.

“Dad? You said you can’t have babies because you’re a dad right?” Emma turned to ask him casually.

Hidgens swallowed his water, keeping it raised in his hand before nodding along to the out of nowhere question, he was used to them at this point, he could proudly say. “Generally yes that is the rule, but Emma-“

“Where do babies come from?”

He was glad his cup was plastic, and it was only water inside, because that cup fell to the ground in an instant.

He spluttered a little bit, no more water left in his throat or else he might have choked. Even then he was still scoffing… and choking on his own spit and coughs.

Emma just kept staring at him.

And Hidgens couldn’t avert his eyes, even as he hid his dad cough into his elbow. 

Nevertheless he composed himself. He stopped coughing, and pushed the cup out of harms way with his foot. Calming until he could singularly raise his eyebrow at Emma. “Do- Do you want the actual answer or a tamed one?”

“No I want the actual one. I’m a big girl!” Emma nodded determinedly.

Well, Hidgens was a biology professor, so okay! He placed Emma across from him on the sofa cushions, muted the tv, and began. 

“Hello Matthews resime-dence, this is Paul speaking.”

“Hiya Paul!”

“Oh, hey Emma! What’s up?”

“How’s your day been?” Emma curled the cord of the phone around her fingers, it was common for her or Paul to call each other at the weekend, just to catch up, occasionally to plan play dates. Paul drabbled on about his boring day until it got to the really interesting bit Emma wanted to tell him about. Ooh he’d think she was so smart!

“Hey Paul guess what?” She snapped in as soon as Paul had finished detailing how his dad cooked his dinner tonight.

“What?” His small curious voice rang out from the other line. Emma held her hand over her mouth, whispering in excitement. “My dad just told me where babies come from!”

“Oh?” Paul didn’t seem as excited as her. “My mommy said it was from storks.”

“No!” Emma interrupted, wanting to let him in on the cool secret. “It’s from sex!”

“Oh. Cool.” 

“Yeah, cool.”

“What’s that Emma?”

Emma held her hand to her mouth again, trying not to giggle too hard into the receiver. “You ready to hear something gross!?”

The Hidgens landline rang again that night, at nearly 8pm, funnily enough right after Emma’s weekend bedtime was up, and Hidgens picked it up, holding Emma’s newly dirtied blanket over his shoulder. “Hello Professor Hidgens, speaking?”

“Oh hello Professor.”

“Ah Eilene! What can I do for you?” This was rather unexpected but fine, it wasn’t the worst call he could get anyways, after all there were very few people he spoke to much. So at least his social anxiety wouldn’t be too through the roof with only Paul's mother calling.

“Oh nothing much Professor, we just wanted to know if you knew why Paul was asking ‘why adults had sex because it sounded so yucky’?”

“Oh my God.”

He knew exactly why he was asking that, why his mother was asking him that, and who had told him. His eyes drifted to the ceiling and his whole upper torso to his face was flushed. 

“I just gave Emma the talk today…”

Pauls parents, both of them, laughed over the phone. Luckily. But Hidgens was so mortified he could barely hear there thank you’s for letting them know and assurances that it was all okay, and stories about how terribly funny it was. 

“Oh goodness gracious. Once again I’m so sorry Mr and Mrs Matthews I-I didn’t think Emma would go round telling all her friends I, I’ll have a talk with her tomorrow. Oh dear shit.” He was fanning himself with her blanket, luckily his heart race starting to go down now. Oh holy fuck dear Emma. 

Mr. Matthews was crying wheezing in the background, meanwhile Paul’s mother was still able to stay on the line. “Oh not a problem Professor. Well, I guess we don’t need to worry about that conversation when he’s older and awkward!”

He was almost pleasantly surprised the next time they let young Paul over.

His Emma was such a good girl. She always was for him. And he never yelled at her, even when she did something wrong or bad he always tried to explain instead. He felt that was right, and she’d never once acted scared of him, or purposely done something wrong once it was explained, so he was always so very happy with her. However she could be bossy. And stubborn… 

And scary. 

Not that he usually saw that side of her. 

One of the few times he did he was picking her up from school and he saw her snatching her toy back, which was fair, it was her toy, but the look she gave that other boy as she seethed and finally even Hidgens felt that boys fear as she warned him “You might... get…. **hurt.**” 

And then when he called her, if not slightly still in shock, she skipped to him, giggled and patted his face asking how _his_ day was.

Another, she and Paul were excitedly trying to tell him a story at the same time, and whenever poor Paul spoke Emma would turn to him, shush him and put her finger to his lips until he was quiet, every time. Once she was done Paul waited until Emma told him he was allowed to speak again before asking if they could play magic the gathering. He knew Paul liked that game as he brought it over nearly every time he came over to the Hidgens estate, even if they didn’t play it every time.

This time, Emma grabbed his hand and basically dragged him to her playroom insisting “No Paul, we’re playing mommies and daddies.” 

He watched her pull him along, happily and gently enough, she wasn’t tugging she just had his hand in hers, and he was following her, but frowning. “But I don’t wanna-!” 

“Paul!”

“Okay Emma. Magic later?”

Even Hidgens would have relented to the look she gave him as she spun on her heel. Emma smiled sweetly again though once he agreed, pulling him closer to her side with his hand instead of having him trail behind her. “Yes I will count to 500.” She told him and that was the last Hidgens heard before she closed the door.

He’d made himself busy letting the kids be, but about half an hour later he went to check on them upstairs. And that’s when he bumped into Paul, who ran face first into him in the hallway. 

Hidgens held his shoulders as Paul span around to see what he’d hit, before hurriedly looking behind him. Hidgens just wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to fall over running around, especially since his small arms were full. And he smiled even though he’d just got the back of a skull to his hip bone. “Oh hiya Paul, how’s-“

Paul rushedly handed him a bunch of different baby dolls into his arms and that's when Hidgens noticed Paul was panting. “You gotta hide them! Emma doesn’t want kids anymore, and she’s gonna murder them to be the lady in white!” He told Hidgens with a worried look, whilst hissing to the older man who had his arms full now, even as Paul clung onto them in terror.

“Paul? Where is Jessica and Toby and Abby and Bernard and Blue?”

“AAAAH!” Paul ran, giving himself away.

“AAAAH!” Emma ran round the corner then past Hidgens screaming too. 

At least the poor boy seemed to listen to her, and Emma him. 

Hidgens watched them go and turned around, calling out to them and hoping they hadn’t run so quickly as to not be able to hear him. “I just wanted to see if you two wanted lollipops!”

“Lollipops!” They came running back to him.

Emma and Paul were happily standing side by side, pupils wide and staring at Hidgens almost drooling. They reminded him of a pack of wolves, but wolf puppies though. 

He gave Paul a red one and Emma brown at their asking, but Emma seemed to have not realised brown meant it was cola flavour, and she didn’t like it. 

Hidgens sympathised with her grimace and took it off her, uncaring about the slight drool that dripped from it onto his fingers. “It’s okay,” he told her, walking towards the stairs and kitchen “I’ll get you another one Emma dear.” He called out. But he spotted something from the corner of his eyes and span back _quickly_ on his heels to check if he’d really seen what he thought. 

And as he looked back, he saw Paul holding out his stick, and as his body stilled just in time, he clearly saw Emma sucking the red lollipop, then letting it go, and Paul taking his turn licking it in his mouth, before offering it out to Emma for a go again.

He had half a mind to film it and show them when they were older. 

He knew Emma sometimes ate some of his food and vice versa, but this was a whole new level, definitely a good embarrassing story for the _both of them_ in the future. But as long as they were happy, and at least it meant he didn’t have to go downstairs to find another lollipop now.

Plus he was cracking up the entire time to himself.

She shared fairly with Paul, happy enough he’d offered, and then Hidgens had to look away, just staying close by in case one of them choked. After that bit of sugar, or maybe just Paul's kindness, there was seemingly no more stubbornness that day in this house. And when he walked in with hot cocoa, he did see all the magic cards laid out, and hear Emma cheering from the room just as he closed the door behind him. 

He made sure she was never actually going too far and it was all always good natured anyway. On top of that, he was happy not once had he had to stand in. 

Those two just fit together like peas in a pod. 

Of course his Emma wasn’t all full on stubbornness. Not Emma Hidgens. His darling. His life’s meaning. Sometimes, she was just plain sweet.

Emma sat in the car letting the yellow lights illuminate the images on her window. She ‘hawed’ again, breathing onto the glass and next to her smiley face, writing ‘hello’ backwards. It took a lot of skill, and a lot of wet sleeve work to restart, but she eventually got it, breathing one more time on the window to see it properly, now all the other cars would be able to read her message! She used to never be allowed to do this. It was fun.

Meanwhile Hidgens was still driving. It wasn’t quite yet Emma’s weekend bedtime but it was dark on their way home. She’d entertained herself for a while and until a few minutes ago had been drawing on the windows with her breath. Now she was staring around, just taking on the scenes of Hatchetfield. Hidgens checked his daughter one last time in the rear view before putting his eyes back on the road.

“Daddy?” Emma piped up, waiting for her dads blue eyes to come into the mirror, and patiently make sure he was paying attention to her. 

And that he did. “Yes, Emma?”

Emma looked into his eyes, wriggled in her seat, and smiled pink cheeked. “I love you!”

“Aw. Sweetie!” She’d said it in this fucking adorable voice and it was completely out of nowhere. It just made Hidgens’ heart melt, he actually had to hold his hand to it, while his other kept driving and his soft eyes looked back at his little miracle through the mirror. “I love you too! Thank you!”

Now this pleased Emma greatly. She always liked it when she made her dad smile ; and when he told her he loved her again. She held out her hands to cuddle, stretching them as far as she could but unable to even touch him thanks to the seatbelt around her booster seat. This would have almost made Emma huff, if she wasn’t so happy right now. “Daddy when can I sit up front with you?” She instead asked, holding her own hands and playing with them unknowingly.

Hidgens looked back sympathetically. “When you’re a big girl and it’s safe for you Emma.”

Ah. And Emma did understand safety, she’d follow any of his safety tips, like a good scientist! Like a good daughter. She still wriggled around in her big puffy coat she was zipped into though, kicking her feet while she was thinking of something else to say. Then they saw at the end of the road a tunnel, brighter than the outside. “How long?” Hidgens just asked her, not needing to elaborate. They knew this game. 

“10 Emma responded straight away, sure of it taking a look from the outside. 

“30.” Hidgens bet instead, definitely having better spacial and time judgement than a six year old and simultaneously knowing it would take nowhere near half a minute. 

They held their breath and counted inside their heads the amount of time it took them to get through the tunnel. Seven seconds. After it was up they let out dramatic breaths. 

“Ah, you win again!” Hidgens smiled to the road up front. About to suggest a cd or something when-

“Daddy it’s too hot…”

He checked on her in the mirror after hearing her whine. Her face was only subtly scrunched up, she did look uncomfortable. He signalled and made a left turn. “Well can you wait till we get home?” He asked.

“No…” Emma quickly replied, struggling, kicking, almost sliding down her seat all with a slight pout and whine constant on her person. “I can’t get out.” She complained to person who loved her.

Hidgens tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, they were only just coming off the highway. “Emma please?” 

“Daddy I’m boiiiiiiling!”

“Okay okay,” he relented to his daughter, looking over with a similar uncomfortable expression to hers you’d almost think they were genetically related looking at their faces. He only wanted to make sure she was okay. “I just need to find somewhere to pull over.”

Eventually Hidgens did find somewhere, slightly re routing the car and stopping just near a field on the edge of the road, where it was still safe. He walked over after he closed his door and Emma smiled, twisting, kicking, clenching in anticipation for him to come, seeing him getting closer over the steamy windows and hearing the dull sounds of his oh so familiar footsteps. 

He opened her door and immediately his daughter leant towards him. And when the door stopped swinging, she giggled. He raised an eyebrow, dipping his head into the warm car. “What are you laughing about?” But Emma only shook her head, still smiling. So he left it, shaking his own head for his own reason, but now giving a chuckle too.

He unstrapped her, something Emma couldn’t do with that stupid buckle, and he unzipped her coat, something Emma could do but wouldn’t (to be fair she legitimately couldn’t zip it (_up_) and he helped her out of it, praising her for helping him by no more than moving her arms. And Emma loved every second of it.

And just before he was done freeing her… Hidgens guffawed as he was caught off guard by her hugging him tight. But of course, once he’d rearranged her little arms and python grip so she wasn’t strangling her hostage, he hugged her back.

Emma held his head tight to her chest, where he’d been caught trying to take off her coat like she’d brought him here for. But all she wanted was him. She leant down, doing what he did when he was usually the tallest, and kissed his dark hair. “Love you daddy.”

He giggled against her top, trying to find a good position to hold her, with a “Love you Emma” back. After that declaration he was allowed to wriggle out, Queen Emma letting it be. Now freed, he finished his task, bundling her coat neatly in the seat next to her, and as he pulled from that seat nearer Emma’s, he saw her pout as he retreated. So he took her hand, and blew a raspberry on it. Emma giggled, pulling her palm back and wiping it, her smile still on her face even as Hidgens strapped her back in, stuck there even as he started driving.

Until about five minutes later.

“Daddy I’m too cold, come put my coat back on me pleeeeeeeease?”

Ahhhh now he understood. 

He smiled to himself in the front seat, Emma unable to see, even as he chuckled quietly. She wasn’t even patient enough to make him _doubt_. “Emma you can put it over yourself still strapped in, like a blanket.” He informed her, knowing that wasn’t really her plan but seeing nowhere else to pull over to amuse her anyways. Plus he’d be kinda interested to see what argument his smart Emma fought back with.

Emma did think on it for a while. Touching the sleeve of her coat and imagining it, she realised it was true. So she grabbed the rest of her coat in both her little hands… and threw it to the other side of the car. Then she looked into the rearview, where her fathers surprised eyes were on her. “Not now daddy.”

Hidgens smiled brightly, full of teeth and quite energetically. Goodness she was bright, and fun. His smile only grew into a smirk as he reached an orange light. Slowing down till it hit red he waited in the car along with the others… then he reached behind him, grabbed her coat, and chucked it back, Emma squealing laughing as she grabbed it in his throw, dumping it on her lap and still laughing out of her lungs as she held her hand out. “Daddy hold me!”

Hidgens looked at the red light then back to his giggling kicking daughter, panicking. “Emma I can’t-“

“Hold my hannnnd!!!”

Quickly he did so. Shooting back his arm and letting Emma clamber onto his hand, holding it softly and squeezing it needily back and forth, and it felt like an eternity until the lights turned amber again and funnily enough, she let him go.

He let her know just how much of a good girl she was.

And normally Emma didn’t demand rewards but this time she wanted all the love as soon as the car was stopped. 

So with that promise pacifying her for then, Emma just waited giggling in the car, almost feeling her booster seat move against the car seat the amount she was buzzing with excitement for her present when she got home.

In fact, the only time Hidgens noticed her slightly calm, was when she looked up to the sky for a good full minute, before she turned to him to inform him rather seriously “Dad the moon is following us again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse :-D
> 
> Watch Pauls parents appear in the wedding and be totally different lmaoo love it, also... Paulkins wedding anyone?!?!!
> 
> Wow this took so long
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed!! I worked on it for so long I can’t tell if it came out actually shit or not lmao. Please leave any and all comments as they really help and keep me motivated to write for this series (and in general) and I spent so long on this jfc (also I moved back to uni and had a v traumatic few days so I will use these as excuses too ;-p ) it was supposed to be abt double this in length but the other snippets will be saved for another chapter at a later date lmaoo.   
As always, stay safe y’all 💕


	34. Valentines Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Valentine’s Day in Hatchetfield! And in Paul and Emma’s class, they have to make valentines cards for the people they love

It was Valentine’s Day. Probably one of the most boring holidays there was. Emma never really did anything for Valentine’s Day, sometimes she and Jane would draw each other hearts. One year Jane drew them on their arms for tattoos ; they got in trouble. Today though, on her sixth visit to this holiday, Emma was in class. And the teacher had taken a whole section of their day out to spend it on valentines. It was better than geography though! Her dad had even baked with her some heart cookies with pink icing, to hand out to her classmates at the end of the day. She’d given her daddy, herself, and Paul some extra cookies before then though. Luckily Hidgens packed more than thirty. They had half an hour to make all their cards and then they’d run around, secretly placing however many they had on their other classmates desks, before running back to their own. They could also make ones for their family. Although she caught Evelyn making one for Mrs. McCree. What a suck up.

Emma, was making one for her daddy. It had a big pink heart in the middle on red paper, and in the middle of the heart was a drawing of them, her family. It was also covered with a truck load of glitter, that kinda covered the letters ‘happy valentines fore my daddy!’ But she had crayoned writing on the inside too. She was sure Hidgens would love it! She had to say, it was her best drawing yet. After all, she’d put a lot of love into it! She kissed the card once done and giggled at the glitter glue on her lips, smearing it off and checking the clock. Ugh she still had some time left. 

But, unlike the others, Emma had sworn she wasn’t gonna make lousy valentines cards for anyone else, especially if she didn’t even love them! MAYBE she’d make some for people who did her, only, to show her appreciation like her dad had taught her, to be thankful. After all, their teacher was going to let them run around for a full five minutes, so if anyone wanted to write another last minute one they could. But she wasn’t sure if she could care enough about bothering with that. 

“Okay kids! If you have your cards ready you can start swapping them! The rest of you still have some time.”

Emma was sitting at her desk but she started to feel pink when lots of people came up to her desk. It was a bit awkward. All the girls were giving one to every girl apparently, and she’d gotten some from some boys too. Full up on saying awkward thank you’s to people’s faces, and seeing how awkward some of them looked too because she was right there, she walked through the classrooms once, passing a few desks and thanking the girls she’d seen place cards there, smiling at Paul who waved back, still working effortlessly on his card, his tongue was sticking out in such a funny way and she thought he was gonna break his crayon, and she even received a hug off Flora, who was going round hugging everyone for the special day, even the boys. Emma seized up at the hug, before giving one back, she didn’t mind hugs, or Flora, but watched as she gave one to Paul who seized up in his seat too, letting her squeeze him before smiling back embarrassed and furiously speedwalking out of his seat, card in hand. Emma giggled, saying hi to a few others around her trip because it was exciting! Walking tours of the class and being able to talk to whoever, before quickly sitting down in her seat to read through the multitude of cards left on her desk. She giggled to herself, rolling her eyes at how lousy it was, and quickly sorting through the multitude of pink and red. Till she came across a green one…

Swamp green, her favourite! With a little “Oooooh!” to herself, she looked at that one single mindedly, stroking the picture of a frog, with its puffed up cheeks, on the front, sitting on a heart shaped lily pad in the stream. The animal was clearly traced, if not a little wobbly. But she loved frogs! She and Paul searched for them and their tadpoles all the time in the school pond! Squealing in her seat, knowing she’d cut this pic out and place it on her walls when she got home, she opened it and decided she didn’t want to cut it at all. Rather keep it, perfectly preserved, forever. Inside there wasn’t just a ‘for Emma’ and ‘happy Valentine’s Day!’ Or even a bunch of kisses and hugs and hearts, which there were. There was something else too… 

A poem.

‘Ther wer 2 frogs  
And 2 lillypads  
But only 1 pond.  
The frogs stayed close,  
Even thogh the pond was big.  
But when a storm came,  
1 of the lillypads broke.  
Frogs like water, but this frog liked to stay dry, and he liked the other frog mor.  
The frogs shared ther lillypads,  
And ther pond,  
And ther home.’

Eek!!!!! Emma held the card close to her chest, hugging it and bouncing her knees excitedly in her seat. This was by far the best poem she’d ever read! And it was for _her!!!!_

She’d have to show her dad when she got home, he loved poems!

Plus it was about _frogs!!!_ She turned around in her desk, ready to show Paul the frog poem someone gave her, when she saw him, sat at his empty desk, watching the others go by, and just crying. Her heart sunk. Paul hadn’t gotten any valentines cards. 

Emma’s lip wobbled, watching Paul cry made her feel like crying, and her eyes stung, and her heart stung, as he helplessly watched all their classmates go by, some with arms full of cards, either they’d gotten or ready to hand out, and not a single person even looked to Paul. He eventually gave up watching them, resting his head in his hands and she could just see his shoulders trembling. Her heart felt like it was trembling too. 

Three minutes ish left. Quickly, Emma got every single creative device she had on her desk, and got to work. 

Paul hiccuped into his arms, begging himself to be quiet, he couldn’t let anyone know he was _crying_, they all already didn’t like him. He knew that. He’d known that since kindergarten, even if it’d changed a little when Emma got here. He didn’t know why he’d kidded himself. Maybe he really was stupid. His tears trickled, rolling down the desk that smelt of glue and past his cheeks but he didn’t care. 

When a herd of voices came towards his desk he froze up, forcing himself to be unnaturally still, so people thought he was just taking a nap. But then he heard Emma, clear as day, in the sea of at least five voices, all put to a halt, right in front of his desk. What was this? He didn’t want anyone stopping to chat here right now, least of all Emma, especially if she’d lead them here. But then in about fifteen seconds, they’d all started moving again, and someone who had been leaning on his desk hopped off, relieving the pressure of the desk and stopping it from creaking… but the weird feeling against his arm was still there. It wasn’t someone’s shirt brushing against him. Wiping his freckled, flushed cheeks with his tiny hands under his arms, he cleaned himself up before looking up at what someone abandoned on his desk. It was a card. He looked around, unsure who had left it there and looking for the owner who’d accidentally dropped it, when his eyes widened as he looked to the space blue card… with his name on it. 

He breathed rather shakily. There was only one kid in his entire class called Paul! That was him! Sniffing but no longer feeling sad at all, too surprised, he pulled it forward gingerly with his pinky finger, down his desk. On the front of it, was a picture of a long necked dinosaur, with pink heart eyes and hearts for feet. Surrounded by grass and a volcano, so much detail! With his name in the top corner, opposite the sun with sunglasses, the caption messily read ‘you make my heart (Dino)saur!’ spelt out in red glitter glue!

Quickly flicking to the inside, already giggling heartily to himself and unable to stop, Paul laughed more as the tears kept coming now, marking him unable to read when his eyes were so blurry. He didn’t even feel sad though! It was funny that he was crying. This was his first valentines card he’d ever received!  
Well apart from his parents and cousins of course.

On the inside in hot pink crayon, it read:  


‘Dear Paul  
I think you are roar-some  
(Get it? Like a dinosaur haha!)  
Happy valentines day !! :-D  
I love you!  
Love from me xoxoxo !!!’

Paul was just flabbergasted. He read it over and over, not blinking once. They didn’t leave their name! I mean, they weren’t supposed to, but a lot of people did. Paul had heard, the only people who didn’t leave names, were the people who actually loved you.

Paul looked over, knowing the other four voices from before and while they were nice, not thinking they made sense. He didn’t really speak to Archie or Benjamin a lot and Travis and Kylie were boyfriend and girlfriend since yesterday. And with cheeks as pink as his cards message, he looked over to Emma, who quickly spun her head as if she wasn’t watching him when he saw her looking. But he saw her smile just well enough. And giggling to himself, still not knowing why, he very carefully placed the card on his floor for it to dry whild Mrs. McCree prepared for the next actual lesson, before sticking it flat between two books in his backpack for safe keeping, just before recess.

It was last play now, and _finally_ Emma could go talk to Paul instead of sitting in their new desk formation they were trying out this week. Gosh she hoped Mrs. McCree changed it back to tables again so she could sit next to Paul and talk to him during lessons, even if she’d done desks to avoid that. She’d wished she’d talked to him during the walk but he’d seemed very busy.

She held his hand as they walked through the play field, getting him to come with her to the pond because she really wanted to find some frogs now. Paul was happy enough with this, humming as his sweaty hand held her own and let her drag him around the field. “So?” He piped up “I saw you got a lotta cards Emma!..” it started out nice but fell a little flat, he ducked his head, squeezing his best friend's hand more. “Did anyone wanna be your boyfriend?”

Emma seemed too genuinely distracted to have been simply ignoring his last mumble, shaking his hand in hers and playfully glaring at him. “Hey! I just realised, you didn’t send me one! Very rude.” She tutted at him.

Paul's face flared up, running to keep pace with her as she smirked up at him. “Wha- h-hey! Yes I did!” He whined. This was unfair, he did too! He wouldn’t forget about his best friend today!

Emma just hummed, keeping his hand but shaking her head at him. “I didn’t get one with your name on it pal!” She poked him with her free hand, making it seem playful but the more she joked about it, got a tad sad. Why hadn’t her best friend given her a card? She didn’t care about the others if he didn’t love her! They said it all the time to each other!

Paul rubbed his chest at her pokes, she always poked too hard, or maybe he was soft, his lower lip sticking out and eyes droopy. “Well I made mine anomynous.” He promised, happy he could at least find that word.

“Oh! Okay I got a few of them.” Emma smiled at him, and she watched Paul sigh in relief, smiling back and she tried to think on which one was his, smile widening with a gasp as she remembered something else. “Oh Paul!” She poked him again, more from excitement this time “I got a frog card too! And it had a _poem!_ That one was my favourite definitely, it was so cool!”

Paul beamed from her side, clearly happy for her, Emma thought, and she giggled as Paul started running towards the pond with her in tow enthusiastically, but tugged on him when she started running too fast. He slowed down to a walk again, but looked out for the bridge too. Emma watched him instead of their surroundings, trusting him to lead her, yes, but also more interested in what else her brain was remembering. “Hey. You went very quickly back to your seat after I saw you get up.” She pointed out.

Paul's face hid it’s smile a little, and he shrugged, leaning his cheek into his shoulder, and mumbling again. “Well I was only sending one.”

That made Emma’s eyes light up in excitement. Drama! “Oh so you only sent oneeeeee? To who?! Ooooooooooooh!!!!!” She teased, forgetting completely what Paul had said earlier as her brain made way for teasing him and teasing her best friend only, elbowing him as she attempted a whistle, which was just blowing air through her teeth, starting the “Paul and anomynous sittin’ in a tree!” to tease him. Everyone knew if you only sent one card, it was someone really important to you! That was just facts!

But Paul got really flustered under her teasing and cooing and prodding and singing. He batted her away, very red faced and breathless. “S-Shut up! I-It was you!” His head darted to hers once he’d said it, before training straight to the ground, attempting to hold his own hands and fiddle with them, but Emma’s had already linked his arm with hers.

She smiled super bright at that, feeling giddy, and surprised. Oh yeah, duh! I guess hearing he’d only sent one, with the clear implications of that, and with the info before that he’d sent her one, just hadn’t connected. It felt quite good, actually, that Paul cared about her more than anyone else in their class. Imagine if he liked _someone else_ better than his best friend! “Me!? Oooh which one?!” She prompted, bouncing up and down and kinda lugging Paul along for the ride with her.

Paul stuttered, letting her cling onto his arm but whole body feeling sweaty now. “Well actually, t-t-the frog one.”

Emma stopped bouncing now, unhooking her arm from Pauls and finally he looked up, worried, but she was just twisting her lips in a smirk, eyes slitted and surveilling him. Oh he hated when Emma studied him like this.

“Are you saying that just cos I said that was my fave?”

Paul felt his whole body tingle, and his voice became moany, eyes hurt. “You know I’m not a liar Emma!”

Emma rolled her eyes like she was joking the entire time, but her voice became softer. “I know.” She reached forward and connected their arms once again, this time in a hug. She wrapped her arms around Paul's neck, and slid her chin onto his shoulder, pressing his cheek into his.

Paul hugged back, wrapping his arms around Emma’s middle and putting his face in the same position, on her shoulder. Whilst her eyes were closed, his remained wide open, and his whole body clenched, holding Emma closer in return, as he spoke. “I love you Emma.” Into her shoulder, voice shaky but not scared.

Emma opened her eyes in a flash, smiling very brightly and toothily and heart dino-saur-ing, and responded in a high pitched voice. “I love you too Paul!”

She was now in the car on the drive home, after making her dad study every inch of the card she’d poured her heart into, for about ten minutes in the cold-ish weather, in the playground that was emptying out, then they eventually started their drive, Hidgens strapping in her card in the front seat, ‘to keep it safe before it goes on the mantelpiece’ and Emma kicked her legs while listening to the cringy but fun lovey dovey tunes on the radio. Low down so her and her dad could talk if either wanted, as always. But as he sang along to the words under his breath, tapping his steering wheel in tune, it only took a second of Emma blanking her mind to remember the important info she had to give her daddy about her day as soon as she saw him.

“Dad! Guess what Paul said to me today?!”

Hidgens turned down the radio even more before smiling, looking into the rear view at his daughter softly. “I love you.”

“No! Well yeah he did! But what else?”

Hidgens thought on it for a second, still smiling, before looking to the road again. “What else?” He stopped at the red light.

...Emma’s smile grew in her seat, not to a big one, in fact, probably the smallest of her day, but it took her entire might to contain it. Lips wobbly, and the corners of her mouth crinkled, heart pounding till it tickled, and eyes just sparkling, stopping her kicking to look at her daddy as he turned his head, to whisper _”...He said I was the prettiest person in the entire school!”_

Hidgens jaw dropped in awe, smiling enthusiastically at what his daughter had just told him. As he focused less on his reaction and more on her words, he thought to himself. He’d always wondered if Paul had a little puppy crush, he smiled a bit more, not unlike Emma’s small but smitten one. But she was too young for that nonsense. Her and Paul could stay kids just a little longer. 

“Well Emma I think the same. You’re the most beautiful person in the entire universe, and every single one following that.” He nodded surely to the fact, before turning back just as the lights changed to orange, and hearing Emma’s shallow breathing behind him. Then-

“Oh well now Paul's compliment sucks!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse :-D
> 
> (I know it’s not chronological bc we’ve already had Easter but sssssssh, maybe it’s Hatchetfield weirdness who knows?! (Yeah that’ll work))
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Pls rmbr even if there’s some puppy love there these ARE babies! They are cuteeeeee just rmbr they are ickle pls ahaha!! They are soulmates tho lmao
> 
> Pls lmk what ya thought! Any comments are rly rly appreciated and it’s comments that get me to want to write new chapters asap for y’all, so pls, lmk what you thought!  
Thank you for reading and as always, stay safe y’all


	35. Swearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma has a very complicated relationship with swearing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs for this chapter: panic attack, mentions of abuse, small blood swallowing

Swearing is something most parents think about. At least, Hidgens thought. What age your kids might start swearing, if you should let them at a certain point? All that jazz. Emma, his six year old, had a complicated relationship with swearing however.

Now Hidgens tried to rarely swear around Emma. Old habits still die hard, he was an adult, and he had been used to living, and remaining, alone, but he needed to protect her from a trigger of her awful old life before this. Her parents definitely did not care about language in that household, and were angry or inebriated enough to hardly care about her at all, plus he’d been told what happened the last time Tony swore around her. If another adult swore even anywhere in her vicinity, it was a toss up of what reaction she’d give. However, she didn’t seem to think twice about it, when it was herself saying the naughty words.

“I work hard, play hard, fuck hard.”

Hidgens looked up from the seat he’d just had to help his daughter onto as he went to set up the lovely nutritious dinner he’d spent hours making. He had to pause, just turn around and stare at her, his face dropped, his eyebrows raised, and with eyes wide directly into his six year old child’s… “wHAT THE FUCK?!?”

She definitely had not learnt that from him! Especially not that _phrase!!_

Hidgens scarpered to kneel down by her side, breathing “oh my god oh my gosh” to himself as he held her hands and tried to collect his thoughts. 

Emma just swung her legs down, sometimes her dad did swear on occasion, his language didn’t bother her though. She had her own few exceptions. She could never be scared of anything her dad said! Not in his gentle, kind, soft, musical, inspirational, calm, knowing, soothing, familiar dad voice. But Lord help anyone who tried to figure those exceptions out beyond that.

Patting her hands, Hidgens eyes just turned confused on Emma’s. “Emma dear, where the hell did you hear that?!” He spoke so it was clear he wasn’t angry, just utterly bewildered. So Emma felt open enough to inform her daddy. 

“Oh! Well I got outta bed to go find you the other night because I wanted you, and I found you asleep on the couch daddy, you’d fallen to sleep watching a vhs tape. So I got on you and went to bed in your lap. The man with the funny clothes said it on the video.” Emma had stayed poised throughout, eyes up in the air recounting he story the whole time, till she remembered the young man’s funny clothes and raised her hands to cover her face, giggling into them, her dads cupped hands going with hers too, as they both captured her chuckles together. 

That was until Emma started to look more serious, and she lowered her fathers hands down to her lap, swapping them so hers were petting his now. “You remember? When you woke up I said ‘Daddy, you really should make sure you get to bed before you fall asleep you know’.” Emma fiddled with their hands together, bringing her daddy’s much larger, paler, older ones up, and giving them a sweet little kiss. “I still didn’t want to wake you early though.”

In fact, Hidgens had remembered her saying that, and he’d remembered being very confused when he woke to drool that definitely wasn’t his on his cheek, because it was falling the wrong way. And even more bewildered when he was quite sure he’d put his child to bed before he sat down to watch a movie he’d rented. But who knew? His head wasn’t always there. Emma had once said to him that he sometimes ran round like a headless chicken, which bemused him quite so, wondering where she picked up that expression from - apparently it was Paul. And then she’d asked if he could buy himself a chicken costume, to match her baby chick costume from Easter. He was still considering it. 

“Okay Emma.” He kissed her hands in response, and Emma giggled, collapsing in on herself in her chair. It made Hidgens smile even as he was trying to teach her something “But you know that’s adult language, don't you? You know you’re not supposed to say naughty words. You don’t need to!” He encouraged. 

Emma sat up in her seat, still slumped like a child, unsure why he wasn’t getting where she was coming from. “But dad it sounds so fuckin rockin!”

“aAaAAaHhHH!”

Emma used to get upset whenever anyone swore at all. It reminded her of her parents and they were always upset when they did it. And most people swearing, it still made that scary feeling come right back… But the way the funny man says it on the tv is just so funny! She didn’t like most grown ups swearing still, but the funny man on tv with the funny voice and funny face was funny, and just a little naughty.

Emma did ask her dad very politely if she could watch the rest of the film, but he said no so she had to agree with that. Once he’d explained to her she’d find it scary anyway. That funny man saying naughty words was funny but Emma did not want to be scared by anything else, especially in front of her brave dad! Emma did not want to be scared.

Today Emma was over at Paul’s house for a play date! That was a really cool Saturday! It was better when Paul was at her house with her daddy there too of course, but she couldn’t have everything perfect all the time. Not that she didn’t like Paul’s house or his parents, she just loved her daddy.

She put down her plastic racket after holding her hand out and ordering Paul to not shoot the swingball anymore, and luckily he listened. 

Running right up over to Emma, Paul placed his hand in hers, smiling goofily down at his friend. “So! What’re we gonna do now Emma!” He asked, always so happy and proud to have his best friend at his house. Paul didn’t used to have anyone come over to his house, even for birthdays it was mostly only his family, but here he could show Emma all his toys too!

Emma shook Paul’s hand off hers, but instead banged her head against his, in a fond gesture. “No. You wait here Paul! I’m just gonna go ask your mommy for a drink, I’m gonna be right back outside! You wait here okay! Then we can see what else in your shed.”

She spun around in her little floral top, bouncing towards the patio doors as Paul held his hands together pink faced on the grass. “B-but daddy says I can’t go in the shed, it’s dangerous in there.”

Emma span again to face him. “In the toy shed dweebus.”

Paul nodded to himself, only Emma was allowed to call him names because she was his friend and she’d told him back in the first day she joined his class that she was just being funny, he giggled his okay and Emma rolled her eyes as if she was an exasperated mother as she turned back around. “Love you!” She called out.

“Love you too Emma.” Paul waved, before skipping uncoordinatedly towards the plastic shed filled with plastic toys.

Emma opened the sliding glass door, having closed it to whisper secrets in private to Paul, only he and her daddy needed to know that stuff, and walked inside, slapping her small feet on the kitchen tiles as she went in search for Paul’s mother.

And she found her, hunched over a countertop, with her head in her hand, and her messy hair curtaining her face so Emma could barely see her. And under her breath, she hissed. “Ah, bullshit!”

Emma’s whole body constricted. Every muscle tightened in on itself and Emma didn’t know if that’s why she was holding her breath right now or not. All she could feel was the pounding of her heart, she could feel it in her clenched hands but not where her nails dug painfully into her skin, she could feel it in her ears as they thumped uncomfortably. And then all of a sudden, the loss of a self survival instinct she once felt so strongly at that moment, Emma leant her head back and wailed loudly in fear.

It was like a siren. Starting off with one long note then crying into other high uncomfortable pitches. Emma didn’t even know why she was yelling so - and then Mrs. Matthews turned the corner, and she saw an adult woman, a mum, walking straight towards her. And those long held ones turned into hyperventilating sobs, and hot stinging tears finally pooled from little Emma’s eyes down her red flamed cheeks.

From Mrs. Matthews perspective, everything was perfectly quiet, she read that she’d forgotten to pay their vehicle registration fee, she mumbled under her breath, then the barefooted best friend of her child started absolutely balling in the middle of her kitchen. Paul’s mothers sped up when she realised the wail wasn’t a quick cry for attention, because of a stubbed toe or something of the sort, when she saw the six year old girl positively frozen in place, screaming her lungs out. “Oh no dear! What’s the matter?!” She called out quite frightenedly, pausing in front of the unnerving scene before her, before quickly taking action and running up, wrapped her motherly arms warm around the small small girl.

As soon as hands touched her Emma _screamed_, but then, when she realised they were trying to wrap themselves around her body, that series of drawn out elongated yells turned into a series of quick fire screeches, all yelled at no figure in particular, as desperately, Emma tried to push the arms away from herself. 

No one knew Emma was just scared and upset. No one understood the swearing was a trigger. Including Emma.

And the mothers long arms and chipped painted nails trying to squeeze Emma’s tiny body exacerbated it all.

Emma’s mommy’s hugs hurt. Her hugs she only really got when her mommy wasn’t very well, or was very scared, so scared it made Emma scared. - Those eyes frighten her so. - Her mommy’s hugs squeezed so hard they hurt her chest and made her not breathe. And right now Emma was _screaming_ for breath.

It was a full on panic attack.

“Emma calm down honey!” 

The voice was loud and commanding. The voices were all so loud, ordering her about like she was their slave, it was like they made Emma shake with their volume.

_‘Stop moving you bitch!’ _

__

_‘Fucking come here!... little girl.’_

__

_‘You know mommy loves you right?!?!... **EMMA!!!!!’**_

Emma shut her eyes, they squeezed and squeezed until they hurt and then they squeezed some more, it only helped drown out the wrong voices though. 

Her mommy’s voices hurt even more than Emma’s own shrieks. Hers were too small...

Blindly, Emma shoved at the arms, at all the arms, why did it feel like there were so many arms?! “No. No!” Her pleas were tiny, unheard, uncared for, Emma was not cared about, but her screams, her lungs fighting tooth and claw for breath, just like they were trained to do, were loud and clear though.

Her feet left the floor, Emma tried to drag down the heavy weight with her, scramble out of the hold over her back and the darkness there, scramble out from underneath her bed. 

She was just lifted up. Lifted high up up up into the air. Shaken until her head hit the ceiling. Emma’s head was pounding, it was banging for breath, Emma didn’t want to be dropped from way up here. If she was dropped she’d hurt his foot. Then she’d be sorry. 

Gasping for air. Still no air deserved-reserved-deserved for tiny baby Emma.

Hands tried to grab at her, maybe Emma was winning. But they scrambled upwards, they were frantic too, nails in her face and hair, her mom didn’t chew her nails when she didn’t get her medicine anymore. They got longer. Emma felt like she’d bit something. She didn’t clamp on. She didn’t want to be stuck in a clamp! She didn’t want to be in trouble! Emma was a good girl for her new daddy!

The little girl screaming had gained the attention of all the Matthews family, and they knew it wasn’t one of their own. Although likely the whole neighbourhood heard it; especially when Paul slid in, in his frantic little run slamming the patio doors open that he usually had to get his daddy to do. His daddy who had skidded from the living room to the kitchen, fell on the floor and banged his head. “Shit!”

Emma screamed more, and Paul held his hands over his ears. Too much too much!

Mr. Matthews, unaffected by his own hazard, immediately stood up again, jogging towards the screaming, kicking, punching and crying girl his wife desperately tried to keep hold of in her arms, keep safe. He walked to the front of her, disturbed. Only purely for the child. This definitely wasn’t the type of tantrum over not getting an ice lolly. He’d never even seen Paul’s friend be impolite towards another adult. This was… “What’s wrong with her?!”

Her screams… it was like someone was _torturing her._

Mrs. Matthews concurred. She’d already shaken off the small accidental bite to her pinky finger. She tried to jog Emma in her arms, a bit like bouncing a baby to calm it, and also to keep a safe hold of her as she kept trying to what seemed like slam herself onto the floor. She heard Emma’s screams of what she could only describe as pain and moved the young child’s hair out of her neck, to try and see if her face or shoulder showed she’d been hurt, or anything! 

Instead Emma thrashed her head both ways violently, banging her roughing fists against the coarse mom top material and only serving to get more hair in her eyes, cover the world away from her.

Paul’s mom held Emma's forehead to her chest, unable to keep it there for long. Emma sobbed like she’d been attacked. “What’s wrong with you???” The mother cried out, uncontainably worried.

Emma shut her eyes tighter, biting on her lip hard.

_’What is wrong with you!?’_

The blood tingled all the way down her throat before she could stop it. 

Emma choked, wheezed… and then the wheezing wouldn’t stop.

She was being hugged and held and restrained and the arms crushed her against the chest.

And then she smelt her mom's perfume. 

Felt the perfume sting her cut lip.

Emma inhaled deeply, and gagged on the taste of it. 

Another intake of breath. Emma could breathe! Then another. No this didn’t feel right!

“Oh my god honey she’s hyperventilating!”

She couldn’t breathe! Emma couldn't breathe! Her mom was squeezing her again! It hurt!

_‘TELL ME YOU LOVE MOMMY!’_

Her lungs were being crushed. Emma desperately clawed at her neck, frantically tried to pull away the hands choking her. She couldn’t pull any away from there. 

Her daddy hadn’t decided to use the shotgun anymore.

Emma’s eyes snapped open.

She looked around. This was different.

No, not her old house. ...Her… _old_ house… Not her new one with her new daddy. They’d taken her to a different house. They’d taken her back. They’d taken her somewhere her smart professor dad didn’t know. 

Emma’s frantic scream was a different one this time. For once, it was a call out, and one she expected to get a response from. Not like since she was a little kid and believed other people would come. But she was a big kid now and _knew her daddy_ would. 

The screeching siren made Paul’s father throw his hands up to his ears. 

Emma saw hairy arms raised quickly and cried out. Scared cries. Flinching more into those tight arms and away from those big ones. Tears joining the little dots of blood in her mouth and mixing with the spit that wasn’t flying anywhere. 

Then in those two seconds she had her eyes open, she found the first pair of eyes there were. And they were Paul’s. 

All of that was like a dream again now, and Paul was real. His eyes were real. He brought back everything real again. And Emma only stopped screaming in that moment. Only stopped screaming as her lip began to shake and pout as her eyes looked into Paul’s eyes that were full of sadness. And then she watched Paul run away. 

Things were real now but Emma didn’t want them to be. She didn’t want them to be! She cried again as she watched Paul go away, solemnly sobbing because he hated her now. 

And Paul did make her feel safe.

“Ssh ssh Emma we’ve got you in my arms.”

That did not make her feel safe.

Emma didn’t scream anymore but she did cry. And she did yell and wail and sob and whine and beg for nothing else but the one thing that could make her stop feeling this way. She wanted to stop feeling this way she didn’t know what she was feeling she didn’t know why she was feeling whatever these feelings were she wanted to stop feeling this way how did she make these feelings go away!!?!!!

And then the black bulky silent phone became the first thing that was clear, and not blurry, in her field of vision, and in her fogged up mind, in minutes. And attached to the phone, was a small hand, and a small boy, who spoke in a small voice. “Emma I called your daddy for you.”

In that voice there was no fear, there was no hate. There was no confusion, or distrust, or sadness or anger or betrayal or pity or laughing or loathing or badness. There was only Paul’s kindness.

Paul knew the biggest way to Emma’s happiness was her daddy.

Now everything was real.

And everything was silent.

The gulp of air Emma took was fresh.

None of it was choked out. There was no perfume smell this time. The soft secure arms were dropped and Emma walked those two steps to the phone, clinging onto Paul’s hand to stay right where she was, bare feet sweaty and planted to the cold, warming, tiles. Then the receiver was to her ear, and there was no more cold silence, only one, one, warm voice.

“Dear?”

Emma liked when he called her those nice names.

Two shaky breaths. One hiccup. “Daddy?” The smallest voice she’d had all day in the Matthews household.

There were plenty of cries. But no more screams. No more fighting for breath. Emma simply talked, and talked, and talked. Emma told her daddy everything.

As she always did. 

Once she could grip the phone, once she was calm enough to talk instead of hiccup, that’s when she knew she’d gotten off her chest everything she needed to tell Hidgens about. Everything so he would understand her, like he always did. 

She’d gone to the corner of the garden now, to be alone in the fresh air, to sit cross legged in the earth, in the shade, and let the grass she was picking gather up on her legs, piling up slowly in shavings almost as calming as ripping up the grass in tiny needy fistfuls itself was. And after talking to her dad for a long while, she was okay enough to get up, walk over back inside the house, take Paul’s hand first, and then pass the phone to Paul’s mommy, so she too could understand. “My daddy wants to talk to you now. Can Paul’s daddy make me a drink please?”

Emma was still so thirsty.

Paul’s dad took up his tiny sons hand and chain led the two to the fridge, pulling out juice cartons for them before letting them go talk or play alone, whatever the six year olds deemed therapeutic, and quickly rushed in to hear the phone call his wife was on.

And quick enough, understand Eilene Matthews did. 

Obviously, without Hidgens diving into very personal traumas for Emma, that was her personal choice to decide who had a right to know. Although quickly he learnt six year olds didn’t tend to have much a filter on that sort of thing anyway. But he still only told the mother of his daughters best friend, and someone he may even consider himself to be a social buddy with, the minimum she needed to know, to understand what had happened there today.

Emma’s past was her own and nothing to be tossed about too heartlessly.

And once Paul’s mom realised why Emma had reacted the way she had, and what she’d done to make her react so, her hand fell to her heart. “Oh my… goodness! I’m so so sorry professor!” Eilene leant back against the counter, looking up to the cieling where Emma and her own baby were together. “I had no idea she was that sensitive to swearing, or hugging! I didn’t even know she was in here when I… I’ll do my best to not swear whenever she’s even in the hosue anymore you have my word professor! I’m just so sure I’ve hugged her before and she’s been okay with it… But I must’ve been mistaken! Oh, I’m so sorry! It’ll break Paul’s heart if she can’t come over anymore but I understand if you’d rather have them go over there for now, I-“

“Eilene, please.”

She covered her mouth with the hand that wasn’t holding her phone, her husbands hand on her shoulder supportively as they listened. But even from hearing those two words, and all the others Emma’s father had tried to interject in between Mrs. Matthews frequent apologising, they knew Hidgens wasn’t angry. 

“It’s quite alright. Maybe it was my fault for not warning you-“

“Oh professor don’t be silly.” Paul’s father spoke up now, and Hidgens nodded to himself in his car, pushing a little over the speed limit but not so much it was dangerous for Emma’s father. “I know it was all a miscommunication, I’m just glad it’s all sorted out, and that most importantly Emma’s okay now. I’m already on my way over so don’t worry about it.” Hidgens spoke into the receiver of the car phone, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he was stuck at a red light, giving himself a little bit of time to anxiously reflect. “Oh I hope you know she’s not a bad child!”

“Oh goodness no Professor Hidgens! Not at all!”

It was five minutes later when Paul’s parents knocked lightly and entered his room, watching both kids sit up from where they lay on his space quilt, and look between the adults semi-nervously, of what was to come. 

A very guilty feeling Mrs. Matthews knelt down by the side of the bed Emma was on, but this time, tried to calm the six year old girl without holding her. 

“Hi, Emma. So, I’ve just spoken to your daddy and he says he’s on his way right now! You and Paul can have a catch up play date whenever you’d next like though at your home!” Mrs. Matthews went between looking at Emma’s slight bouncing on the bed at hearing her father was coming to be with her any minute, and Paul’s saddened expression when he thought all had been ruined. Even though she knew he knew it was best for Emma to be with her dad right now. Especially since he’d been the one to call Hidgens in the first place. Her smart boy. She took her sons tiny baby hands up in her own as she spoke to Emma, not touching her, and getting that soft comfort from her child, caressing up and down his smooth hands. “I just want to say how utterly sorry I am Emma. I didn’t mean to upset you at all and I didn’t know what I was doing was upsetting you. I was just trying to help because I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know Paul would have wanted you to be okay too.” She smiled lightly up at her son and he crinkled into his neck, pink and caught between being worried for his friend and wanting to smile because his mommy was.

She turned back to a quivering Emma. “I’m so sorry all that happened, and I promise it’ll never happen again. Next time, I’ll try and really listen to you Emma, okay?”

Emma nodded. She liked that Paul’s mommy said ‘okay’ a lot like he did. 

And she was a lot calmer after talking to her dad now. “I-it’s okay M-Mrs Matthews. I know you weren’t a-an-upset with me.” Emma understood it wasn’t her fault. Paul’s parents weren’t mean, they were just grown ups who didn’t understand. They were good people and they liked Emma. And she liked them back. She was even feeling better enough to hug Paul’s shoulder now, just resting her stinging cheek on there and holding his shoulders. She didn’t know if Paul didn’t hug back because he was holding his mom’s hands, or because he didn’t want to risk upsetting her. But as soon as she went for comfort Paul nudged his head against hers, and that was all the signal she needed to know everything was okay.

“DADDY!!!”

Hidgens opened his arms wide for his little girl running towards him with her coat on, ready to go. Instead of jumping into his arms, this time she went straight for his legs, clinging onto them tightly and hiding her face into his upper thigh. Nose smushed into him, just inhaling her dads smell comfortingly, breathing deeply.

Breathing out a sigh of relief himself, whilst simultaneously knowing the rest of the day may be hard, Hidgens ran his thumb over the parting in her hair, raising one light hand from her shoulder to give a little wave, fingers to palm, to Paul. Paul waved back, and that’s when Emma leant her cheek against her dads warm leg, to look out, still clinging. “Bye Paul! I’ll see you soon!”

“Bye Bye Emma.” He waved, only smiling once Emma first smiled at him.

Somehow managing to get Emma’s tight little claws off his trousers, Hidgens helped her into the car seat and safely began their journey home. It was mostly quiet at the start. Hidgens hadn’t even put the radio on because he was readying himself for the best time to ask Emma how she felt about all this today. But that was okay for Emma. With her dad right with her, she was perfectly fine humming a little tune to herself, kicking her legs and watching the houses pass, all safe in her child seat and ready till she was back at their house, with no one but her daddy. He understood her perfectly, and she was happy there. 

“Emma?” Hidgens really didn’t want to ruin that happiness, even for a moment, but as her therapist had told her and him, it was better to get it out. 

Emma looked up into the rear view mirror, where her dads lovely eyes were. “Yes daddy?” She smiled up at him.

Hidgens sighed back, it was painful to talk about her past with her, but he’d gladly rather learn it all. “I know when you wrote down that biiiiiig long list of bad things that happened in your old home, you mostly talked about your old dad. But you also talked about your old mother too.”

Emma immediately stopped smiling. She didn’t shut down, but she did hold onto Ted, squeezing the coatimundi’s wrist tightly, then remembering how her old parents squeezed her wrist she let him go, moaning smally to herself, before sighing and deciding to tug on his tail instead. Emma didn’t have a tail. “Yeah. I remember.” She didn’t know why her dad was asking her this, but she didn’t mind when it was her dad. She trusted him.

Hidgens nodded to himself, humming his nods vocally for her too. “Okay. And can you remember if there’s some other stuff maybe you forgot to put on there?” Or she didn’t even realise was abuse. It was another reason he was glad he’d gotten her a therapist almost as soon as she moved in with him. There’s stuff she’d be understanding as she grew up, and he wanted to be there for her every step of the way. “Maybe something about hugging that squeezed too hard?” He aided.

“You mean like my old moms hugs, the ones that hurted?”

Hdigens bit his lip at her little voice, anxious but forcing himself to look calm, and look into the rearview. “Yes Emma dear. Just exactly like that. Anything that…” he tapped his steering wheel three times “anything that hurt you, darling. Even if it was only inside your heart. You can tell me all of that you know?”

“I know Hidgens but sometimes I forget to mention things.”

“I know! I get that. And you know that’s perfectly okay Emma, I’m still always ever so proud of you.” He’d had to have this conversation a couple of times before, but it still hurt knowing there’d always be stuff he knew that happened to her he didn’t know. Even tiny incidents, that he couldn’t help with. He’d wait till she grew and take in everything she wanted to tell him as she remembered, and then there’d be the stuff she never recollected. And well Hidgens thought that was just fine, if she forgot some of the earliest traumas inflicted upon his little girl.

Though heaven forbid there was anything she was _scared_ to say.

“Well, I told you about how my mum hugged me wayyyyy too tight.”

“Yes. Yes you did.” He waited till he was sure she had finished her sentence, so as not to interrupt her. She’d just been looking for a response.

“And how they hurt and sometimes it was like I couldn’t breathe, especially when she wore her perfume.” He watched Emma stick her tongue out in the backseat but luckily she wasn’t gagging.

“And sometimes- sometimes when she was very… scared, I think-“ Emma never really understood her moms emotions a lot “-she’d try to grab me, but very scared and wild, like this” Emma mimed clawing at her face and hair, with a bit of hair tugging to add on too. Hidgens forced himself not to flinch watching the display, and instead, turned his head round at the red light, making direct eye contact with his daughter. “You’re doing so well being able to tell me all his sweetheart. Do you want to go on?”

Emma was fine with that. “Yeah okay Dad. So she’d only hug me most of the time if she was poorly and hadn’t had her medicine in a while.”

Hidgens eye, back on the road, twitched.

“Or she thought I was Jane.”

He had to fully close them at the next red light, controlling his angry breathing so Emma knew it wasn’t at her. So she didn’t realise he was angry at all.

“But then one time was really different.”

Hidgens has been paying attention the whole time, of course, but now driving was like a subconscious motor movement in all his muscles, he wasn’t even sure if he was going the right way home, he just kept listening under the rumble of the car engine and the roads beneath the two Hidgens.

“One time when my mommy was on medicine that was bad, my daddy got back from work and mommy had been hugging me real tight in bed. She was squeezing my face to her chest when we snuggled. Mommy’s medicine had made her really sleepy too, so she wasn’t even really awake when my dad got back. I remember waking up in the hospital bed instead, and daddy told me mommy had hugged me realllll tight! Because she loved me so much. A doctor was crying. I don’t know if she was mine though because I only saw daddy shouting at her and I never saw her again. I remembered because she had orange hair. Mommy had hugged me so tight I wasn’t moving anymore. But I think my eyes must have been closed, because I don’t remember any of that. Even though I was only a little kid.”

The tears dripped steadily, staining the black leather of the steering wheel.

“Maybe I’d fallen asleep too.”

Hidgens car trailed onto the pavement, bumping only the front wheel before he drove it off, no one around to see, the car much slower than he remembered it being driven. The only indication he’d gone off course, when his front teeth were almost chipped by the smallest of bumps as he rode. He’d been gritting his teeth.

Hidgens hadn’t felt this angry since… Since the last time he saw her parents.

To know this was a memory she’d hadn’t even thought to tell anyone. To dread that hearing her mother hugged her so tightly to her because of how much she loved her, that she had _smothered her_ with love, could possibly be one of the happiest memories Emma had of that household. Even if that wasn’t true. That thought was plummeting through Hidgens mind, as well as other atrocities which he begged and audibly once cried out at to leave his head, intrusive images of the horrors the meaning of his life could have faced.

Hidgens was even angrier because he knew through Emma’s language what that all meant. _He_ understood. He begged to fuck she never did. And he thanked fuck that she was with him, today, safely in the back of his car, with the last name Hidgens and a life she truly deserved.

Emma was just looking out the window. Nonchalantly. Fine. She didn’t know what she’d just said and she didn’t understand what had happened, back then or now. 

This was one memory, Hidgens wished she would just forget as she got older, if he could just pick.

He did thank whoever was out there that her biological parents had ensured her life, thank fuck they did that at least, but it just reminded him all the the other stuff Emma had gone though. The times they may have put Emma’s life in danger in the first place. The stuff he knew and the stuff he feared. 

Even when asking all the questions he could think of at the start, and happily getting a lot of ‘no’s’ to certain examples of abuse he tactly asked about, there were still things like this, where he feared he’d never ask the right question, to get her to tell him a story she didn’t realise was important. It was, from his experience and Garrett’s findings, mostly verbal, emotional, some neglect, and of course physical abuse, with occasional outliers of other things or bigger sessions of those aforementioned. All of this was abuse, even if it could have been plenty worse. No abuse would be excused, especially when it came to _his daughter._

But at least Hidgens knew one thing for sure. And when he’d made sure his eyes were all dry, and the lights were red, he turned back and smiled into his daughters eyes, getting her beaming and love filled grin back, he allowed himself the emotional break he needed to think it. Hidgens just loved Emma even more.

But then again of course, that happened every single day.

The electronic gates closed behind them as Hidgens car slid to a stop on the crunchy gravel in the front garden of their fortified mansion. Their home. 

Just as normal, Hidgens turned off the ignition and got out of his car, he closed his drivers door, and walked all the way round the back, opening the childlocked door for his six year old kid. And once again, Emma was waiting there with happy anticipation for her father. 

Hidgens undid the belt on the child car seat, the big thick red button Emma couldn’t undo herself, and let the strap roll up to the sides of the seat. But once that was down their pattern broke. 

With a pause.

Hidgens kept his arms contained by his sides, head still peering uncomfortably but surely into the back seats, face inches away from his little girls, as he looked up at her. Slowly but not alarmingly so, Hidgens reached his arms as if to pick up under her armpits, just like how he usually helped her out, but this time he waited, right in position, his smile only a quick flash. “Emma, is this okay?”

Emma took one look at Hidgens outstretched arms and immediately, that same grin he’d always gotten off her just shone through her baby teeth. “It’s always more than okay getting cuddles off _you_ daddy.”

Emma’s soft cheeks raised in her smile, and those signals sent a wide smile straight to Hidgens face as well. And a pound to his heart.

Emma leapt into his arms as best she could from her seat, and dotingly her father raised her up into his embrace, not even shutting the car door. Hidgens just smiled holding his little girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse :-D
> 
> I finally have time to write!!!! Yay! I’ve missed writing for this series esp for so long!! I’m so glad to be back to it!!!  
(Even though this was a bit of a sad one. Emma has trauma, and triggers and similar things are unfortunately to be expected but she is getting through it with those who love her!)
> 
> I hope this chapter was okay! I also know there were a few bits when I was writing that could be interpreted in different ways and I have my personal ideas on what they meant, and a few extra thoughts that just wouldn’t fit in e.g. things baby Emma wouldn’t (know to) say, so if you wanted to ask anything abt that please comment or ask me on my sk tumblr!
> 
> No more assignments atm thank god so I’m really hoping to try and get more out! Thank you so much for reading!! Comments are really really appreciated, especially getting back into it after the essay breaks and such. And as always, stay safe y’all! 💕


	36. Sleepovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma very much still has a few attachment issues. But when the people she cares about are in her home? Well then Emma Hidgens is just fine.

“NOOOO!”

Emma screeched crying, holding desperately onto her dad's lower leg, as Garrett tried to safely pry her off Hidgens. 

Hidgens tried uncurling her trusting hands, as Garrett gently tugged on her legs, saying the same thing to his daughter he’d said over and over since the beginning of the week, when she’d first heard she’d have to leave. “Emma darling it’s just a sleepover.”

“NOO!!!” 

Her screams were unbearable, for Hidgens emotionally yes, but the vocal range on the little girl was ear shattering also. Especially when Emma was so stubborn. And exhausting. So for one second, the tired lawyer decided to try and rearrange himself, whilst exerting himself as little as possible. They’d been stuck here for minutes now. So with a breath, Garett stopped pulling.

And Hidgens eyes widened in fear. “No don’t let go of her-!”

Immediately sensing her shot Emma flung free, and wrapped all her limbs round Hidgen’s calf, fully sitting on his foot.

“-legs…”

Emma had only had her first sleepovers after being adopted, she’d never experienced having a night away at a friends, or having a friend stay the night before, so it made sense if at first she was a tad nervous at the prospect of spending the night away. However it didn’t account for situations as time went on. 

Garrett stood back and observed the situation, walking round to see if there was any loose link, anywhere he could take her hand, or in desperate need, a foot, and gently get her to let go. But Emma glared him down and interlocked her fingers like a chain, making Garrett step back with a bewildered intimidated look in his eyes, afterwards looking down at his own legs and wondering why they’d retreated upon the six year old girls - scary - gaze.

Once her uncle, who she usually adored backed off, Emma buried her face into her dads leg, mumbling words to him that she must knew he wouldn’t be able to hear all the way up there, just stubborn little arguments of how she wouldn’t go. 

Meanwhile Mrs. Goldstein was standing there, exhausted from watching and an emergency candy bar down, even though Emma acted like she was taking it as a trade for her father. And Gary was simply fed up with it all. Uncaring, he lay face down, spread out, on the shiny entrance floor to the mansion, smushing his glasses into his face, and waiting for Emma and his parents to be done so he could go home. 

“C’mon Gary I’ve seen crime scene photos where corpses looked like you. Stand up.”

“I object.”

“Altrighty then.”

Hidgens tried to bend over and pull up Emma’s armpits, but even he couldn’t get his hands in between her and his leg. Worrying about his circulation, he was distracted by the words of his guests instead. 

“I wish you hadn’t taken him to that court case.”

“Oh sweetiepie I thought it’d be good for our boy!”

“It was a triple homicide Garrett!”

Gary banged his head into the ground. No one really noticed.

“Hey I ain’t done nothin wrong sugarplum! You just said no disembowelment or beheading this time! Two out of the three were only stabbed! That’s fine!”

“And the third was eaten by coyotes after being chained up!”

“Yeah I… don’t know how the defence tried to argue not guilty for that one.”

“Can we maybe not talk about this in front of the children now?” Hidgens finally piped up. Both adults turned to him, seeing his Hidgens had had to pause freedom and was still covering his young child’s ears, and they nodded, Garrett picking up his son who was only slightly older than Emma, and Hidgens had to wonder if that kids mind was gonna be messed up by what Hidgens himself had just heard. Maybe he’d make a new rule for tonight and future visits, when it came to what his friend and lawyer could say around Emma. If his wife could have a disembowelment and beheading backlist, so could he.

The couple who were on a different level of eccentric to Hidgens, different side same coin, eased up closer to the door, and Hidgens looked down to his daughter, who instead poked her chin into his leg, and looked up at her dad with puppy eyes. 

He sighed sadly, opening up his arms and reaching down. “Okay monkey.” He spoke affectionately. “Up you get.”

He thought at the tired finalised tone of his voice Emma would know it was time to give up and would open her arms for one last hug. Instead, groaning out stubbornly, and out of limbs, Emma held onto Hidgens with something else. 

And her father looked down, startled. “Emma are you _biting_ me?”

Emma looked up evilly, sadly, but let go with a string of saliva attached, not much liking the feeling of the courdory in her mouth. Besides, she wasn’t biting hard enough to _hurt_ her dad. Just make him stay. Stay with Emma.

With a lot of balancing sprouting from decades of dance, Hidgens managed to sit down, even with Emma sitting on one of his feet. When they were at a similar level, Emma made a quick scramble from his foot onto his lap, only just caught in time under her arms by her dad, but allowed onto his lap still anyways. He simply held her and Emma wrapped her arms around his neck, looking up at him and patting the nape of his neck a few times till he started swaying just like she wanted. He blew air out through his mouth, trying his best to figure out would what be the best way to convince her without scarring her for life. More. 

He kissed her forehead whilst thinking, and when that ended with Emma nuzzling right under Hidgens chin and staying there with tiny quiet cries, Hidgens stilled and went from trying to rationalise, to trying to sympathise again. Except this time it was closer to Emma’s bedtime and he was stroking circles around her back _just_ the way his baby liked. He breathed in her scent, nuzzling into the top of her hair and kissing there again too. He knew he’d miss her just as much. “Emma you know I’d never leave your side if I never had to.”

He wasn’t done, but Emma nodded fast under him, and as well as his heart surging, that gave him a boost of confidence knowing how much she knew that. She got another kiss. “But it’s just like when you’re gone at school. Except this time, all the hours you’re away from me, you’ll be asleep! So it’ll go even quicker!” He moved his head back to prompt Emma to look at him, and he kindly moved all that hair she’d messed up struggling, out of her eyes. “This way you’ll barely notice.”

“I’ll notice.”

Sometimes when Emma spoke so confidently, it… it made him proud of her. 

Hidgens bolstered her on his lap, instead holding her small form in his arms, even as she was still sitting up, and swinging her slowly that way, like his arms were a swing. “Emma.” He started, looking around the house and prompting her to look too. “You’ve got Ted. You’ve got my brown turtleneck to sleep in, just like you asked for, you’ve got everything packed because I packed it with you. You know Uncle Garrett’s house has really good security. What else do you need?”

Emma stopped looking at the house, she stopped looking at her uncle and his family, and she went straight into her dads eyes, her big brows ones filling with tears, as he forgot the most important thing. “_You…_“

Hearing her voice break on that word almost made Hidgens break. Oh it was only a sleepover, and she’d been to them a few times now. But it still didn’t make it easier when Emma was so utterly loving with him. “Oh, dear…” Hidgens held her close and pressed his cheek to her forehead, slightly shrouding her from the others, as he knew she liked when she was emotional, and hugged her close for one last time tonight as Emma did too. She clung and cried and tried to take in as much of her dad as possible. Why couldn’t she take him everywhere with her? Why couldn’t they just be together forever? That’s all she wanted, someone she trusted to be with her forever and always. When she was a grown up and had no school she’d just follow her dad to work and go to his lessons there, and then when she was even _older_ than that, she’d still never leave him, ever. 

As Hidgens leant back she did also, but she leant her shaking cheek on his arm, and Emma watched tiredly as her dad pulled back her sleeve, and pointed to his marked watch, that still slid around on her wrist.

“You know what to do Emma. You just keep a good eye on that watch. Wait till the big hand is here and the little hand’s five away from the three here like I drew. You remember what time the little hand there means don’t you?”

Emma nodded into his arm tiredly. “Eight?”

“Good job Emma! Wait till the little hand’s at eight and the big hand’s at twelve and then I’ll be there. When our watch says 8am. I’ll be there to pick you up, just like I am every day.”

However, when she had a sleepover over at her house, Emma Hidgens was just fine. 

He must work on her attachment issues. Maybe he should speak to Doctor Morris about it after her next appointment.

However it was better than the first time she had to spend the night somewhere else.

Her cries of “NO HIDGENS dont make me leave!!” And “Noooo daddy I promise I’ll be good! Please don’t make me go away.” Still rung in his ears and plucked at his heartstrings.

But still. She was perfectly A-okay, when the sleepover was taking place in her home.

“Emma are you sure this is safe? I don’t know if I like this game anymore.”

Emma nodded an “Mmhm!”, going along her merry way.

Paul shuffled about in his plastic chair, unsure. “I think these ropes are too tight.” 

“Nonsense!”

Paul struggled slightly, more for the sake of not getting pins and needles, trying to look out the open exit of the treehouse a few feet away. His hands and feet were tied up in skipping rope and another rope held his poor body to the chair. 

Emma skipped up to her best friend, knowing the wood under her feet was perfectly safe as her dad built this treehouse. Just for her. Emma undid the restrictions tying Paul to the chair, leading him over to the ‘doorway’, even when Paul had to shuffle like a penguin with the restraints around his ankles. 

She held above his wrists, right where the knot connecting his hands was. “Now Mr. Paul! You have committed mutiny on my pirate ship! And for that you must walk the plank!” Emma prompted him forward with the fencing sword she’d borrowed from her daddy’s sports room, and mimed poking Paul with it, not actually touching him though. Just… urging him forward. 

Poor tied up Paul looked out and all the way down, moving his fists up and down a little when looking at the trampoline placed right beneath them. Emma peered down over next to him, he could feel her breath on his neck and it made him feel like she could huff and puff and he’d fall all the way down before he was ready.

“Don’t worry Paul.” Emma whispered into his ear, cupping her hands against his cheek and not disturbing the game. “I’ve done all the maths! I’ve placed the trampoline right below the entrance.” That was where he’d fall so Emma had taken that into account in her ‘calculations’. She thought of everything! She even took the safety net her dad had bought off, in case Paul fell onto the edge of that first. That might hurt.

“Now matey!”

Paul stood straight, remembering the part he was supposed to be playing. Giving the respect he should be to his captain, even if she was about to kick him off the boat.

Emma pointed her sword right at Paul’s face, closing one eye (she couldn’t wink, so by putting her hand over her eye) just like an eye patch. She roared. “Walk the plank!”

Paul looked down to the trampoline, the distance between him and the ground, then back to Emma, smiling at him, and her sword. It was all just a game. And then with one step, with a chorus of ‘okay, okay, okay!’ in his head, Paul stuck out one foot, and walked the plank.

And he fell.

“Woah!!”

It was a shocked woah. 

In that moment, Henry Hidgens had walked into his garden, a tray of lemonade for his kids in his hands, and a smile on his face. Then he looked half way through the air. 

Hidgens screamed. 

Henry threw the tray of lemonade straight to the ground, without having time to think, just react “AAAaH!!!!” 

Just as Paul bounced onto the trampoline... and was bounced straight off it, into the northwest of where he’d landed… and right into the safety of Hidgens arms.

Hidgens huffed as he caught the boy in the air, looking down at him in complete shock, and Paul looked back at him, quite the same too.

“Oh nice catch dad.”

Both boys looked up, and saw Emma peering over the landing of the treehouse, holding onto it and looking back down at them.

Hidgens let out a staggered breath, almost a laugh, if he could manage one at the situation, looking up at his child, before looking down to Paul and noticing his hands and feet bound. He couldn’t spot a gag. Hidgens looked him over once more, before releasing a winded breath he hadn’t realised he had in him, after having run so quickly to grab the child falling from the sky. “I think that’s enough games for tonight, aha.” Hidgens got out, holding not his kid in his arms.

“Aw dad you spoil sport.” Emma called from her treehouse.

Paul looked up with his doey blue eyes, while being held like a baby in arms that, unbeknownst to him, maybe just saved his life, or at least a broken bone. He shuffled slightly in his hold, he’d been caught rather uncomfortably, but other than that, stayed where he was, a baby in his unwitting saviours hold. “Mr. Hidgens if Emma wants to throw me out the treehouse again I can try to bounce better, I think these ropes are just a bit too tight.”

Hidgens laughed musically, swaying Paul slightly in his arms as Emma climbed down the rope ladder. He smiled down singularly at Paul, his smile too bright. “Hahaha oh boy Paul now that’s a sentence we’ll just keep to ourselves.”

After a new pot of lemonade, and a startled Hidgens had to do a quick sweep of Emma’s ‘treasure chest’ in her treehouse and put back everything that could kill a man, which he was sorry to tell Emma did in fact quite ruin her dragon hoard, they were allowed to continue to play outside. All three.

Although he was a little perturbed he hadn’t baby proofed the house as much as he thought.

Emma giggled, slightly dizzy as Paul clapped happily to the side, her eyes beginning to focus on him as she ran over, looking a bit like how you escape a moose. Emma zoomed to Paul, panting, and put her hand on her best friend’s shoulders, leading him over to her other best friend. “Daddy play the game with Paul!”

Hidgens ruffled her hair, watching Emma sway under his hand with a wide open grin, he looked between the two children, smiling himself. “Ah only if Paul's okay with it Emma! Do you want to have a go Paul?” He turned to him.

Paul bounced in position, gaining all that excited energy from _his_ best friend. “Yes Hidgens!”

“Okay, gimme your hands son.”

Paul gave Emma’s father his small hands and Hidgens held on tight. The six year old boy got into the same position he’d seen Emma do right before him and started off on his knees, Hidgens holding his hands firmly but gently in his outstretched arms, and then, Hidgens began to spin. He began to spin round and round till Paul was flying through the air, and then they kept going!

Emma whooped and cheered and danced as Paul finally had his legs fully out and his body was just soaring at his perfect speed, while Paul was laughing his bright red giggly cheeks off. Hidgens laughed too and Paul held on tighter, screwing his eyes shut giddily but opening them again as he saw Emma and the treehouse and her garden and Hidgens all get blurrier and blurrier. Until eventually his laughs got cut off by a funny feeling in his tummy that didn’t die down with his giggles and shrieks. “Okay slower slower!” He called out, not wishing to go any quicker and suddenly really worrying about his warm hands in Hidgens grip as they played. So Hidgens did slow, of course, and eventually built to Paul standing right back up on the grass, once he was fine on his footing, letting the child go with a small not-quite-out-of-breath chuckle. 

Eventually, Paul managed to place one foot in front of the other, but he was still super dizzy. And Emma, still really dizzy too, tried to help. But as they tried to saunter over to each other, looking like they were playing aeroplanes, so she could help Paul walk and he could receive that help from Emma, who clearly knew what she was doing, they found each other before their eyes told them they had, and they banged heads smack on, both falling over onto the ground with a grunt after the sound of two coconuts slamming together. When they both dug their hands into the dry grass to sit themselves up, they found a very blurry version of their friend looking back at them. And they burst into giggles. Falling right back over onto the grass, and holding their stomachs as they blew up with silly laughter. 

“Oh you two.”

Emma and Paul both sat up and looked over to the man who’d spoken those words affectionely. Hidgens squatted on the ground, watching them both and shaking his head, soft laughter tumbling out of his lips too. 

Emma hummed with a grin, and with her eyes set on her target which was clearing with the face of her daddy, Emma stood up and ran towards Hidgens, hugging him quick which meant almost throwing him to the ground as he hastily held out a hand to catch her. 

Paul, not sure but still dying with laughter and wonderment and just plainly being very happy, went up and hugged Hidgens other side too, by his shoulders. Not that he could fit his arms all the way round his shoulders of course, but he tried, with that cute little button smile. 

Hidgens laughed, but hugged Paul back with his free arm, looking over the two little kids. “Aw, that’s nice guys.”

Emma jumped onto Hidgens side a bit more as he looked over to Paul, biting her lip with her grin, while Hidgens held a hand to his kidney and guffawed in pain. Though he turned to Emma with a pained _smile_, he was used to being woken up similarly after all. And with Emma clambering on top of him he used both his arms to cuddle her properly, not pushing Paul away but just holding his daughter to one side as she wriggled while Paul stayed holding him at the other.

Emma snuggled into Hidgens side, rushing forwards and nuzzling her nose ferociously into his cheek, she leant back with sparkling eyes before placing a big kiss there. 

Hidgens, never one to limit the outward and obvious volume of how much he loved and cared for his daughter, firstly tried to stop Emma from digging her elbow directly into his windpipe, and then took her cheek and pressed an attack of small kisses to it too, which she responded to with a shriek of glee. Just taking the time to cuddle and kiss his daughter as she asked him very nicely to.

And Paul saw this. He watched as Emma and her dad snuggled and kissed and cuddled and his mommy and daddy were gone. So Paul sat himself up on his knees and tugged Emma’s daddy’s shirt very politely, until he turned round to smile at him. “Mr Hidgens I’d like a kiss please.”

Hidgens stopped what he was doing at that small yet confident, and very sweetly sounding request and laughed in surprise a little. Setting Emma down onto the grass while trying to figure out a simple way to explain it to him, after all, all his parenting experience he’d had to deal with a very sensitive child. So he still kept his knowledgeable eye contact and that compassionate smile up as he spoke. “I’m sorry Paul, but I don’t know if I can do that. I can kiss Emma, because I’m her daddy, but I’m not yours.”

He tried his best to explain anyway. He was sure it _would_ be quite okay, especially with Paul’s parents, and clearly with Paul, but he felt it best to stick to this path he’d already set out now anyway. Paul was such a sweet lad. And sensitive, but in a very different way to his child. Emma was tough but easily breakable with the right missteps in her childhood poking through. Paul was just soft all around, but from a happy home.

Paul, the small six year old, looked between Hidgens and Emma and looked like he was about to debate more, when he just fell into a sitting position and sighed, crossing his legs and wishing his mommy and daddy could at least come visit before bedtime tonight. 

Hdigens, with an empathetic and slightly pondering look to Paul, stood up to go do some adult stuff, but Emma stayed on the ground, and in doing so, after a quick watch of her dad leaving, she crawled over to Paul, plonking herself right on the ground next to him. She whispered, but this time didn’t use her hands to do so, instead she just leant in close, eye to eye with him, smile to blooming smile. “Don’t worry Paul, I’ll give you a kiss. Just don’t tell my dad.” 

And before Paul’s heart had time to skip a beat Emma leant in and sweetly kissed his forehead, since he deserved hugs and kisses just as much as anyone else. Her dad should know that.

Paul held his hand to his forehead, which was now blossoming pink, along with the rest of his face. His head crinkling into his neck, he giggled softly through his nose. Then through his mouth which he clapped a hand over. Then his arms sprung around Emma’s neck in a hug. And giggling quietly, secretively, Emma hugged her best friend back.

That’s when they heard the gasp. _”Emma!”_

And both kids giggled and screamed, pulling back from each other in the thrill of being caught. And when seeing Hidgens shocked, but clearly very playful, face, the pair of best friends only needed to look into each other's eyes once, and they were sprinting in opposite directions. 

After a visit to the park with them, dinner, and hearing Emma and Paul stampede around the entire mansion - except for the bunker - it was bedtime. 

Hidgens kept that nightlight on Emma only used after nightmares, for Paul (after the child tugged Hidgens pants and asked him a tad nervously) as he tucked them both into her bed. 

Paul lay comfortably still under the covers while Emma kicked and wriggled and asked in her sweetest voice for one more bedtime story, until Hidgens swayed her with his hum of a lullaby. That got Emma melting into a sleepy state, and when Hidgens looked over, even Paul had his eyes crinkled sweetly, tiredly, but he knew he was still a little anxious about spending the night away from his parents. Just because Emma reacted so much more outwardly, didn’t mean the other six year old under his care didn’t also get scared or upset being away from his loving parents too. 

As Hidgens tucked them in, his eyes soft and kind, he leant down and gave Emma a light goodnight kiss against her forehead as he did every night. And as he moved over to Paul, he kissed his forehead too.

Paul opened his eyes slightly bigger, looking up with a smile as Hidgens nodded to them both at the door. Paul looked over, watching Emma beaming at her daddy, and then Paul started wriggling just a little bit under his covers. Happy now. 

“Goodnight kids.”

“Goodnight Hidgens!”  
“Goodnight Hidgens!”

Now with the door closed, Paul turned over to press his cheek into the thick plumped up pillow, and Emma did the same, both big wondrous eyes peering into each other in the darkness. “So what did you say we’re doing now Emma?”

The girl shot up, waiting two seconds with her ears pricked, reminding Paul of some sort of animal, he couldn’t remember, before she hopped out of bed, so light you couldn’t hear her tiptoeing around her carpet, and she pulled out a box from under her bed filled with junk food, videos, toys and games. “Having a midnight feast! It’s not a sleepover party unless we break the rules a little Paul!”

Paul quietly walked out of bed, carefully making his way over to Emma before plopping down on her beanbag. “Are you sure we won’t get in trouble with your daddy?” He whispered over to her. 

Emma creased over onto the floor, holding her stomach and for a second Paul thought something was wrong, until the glow of the nightlight showed Emma’s eyes crinkling and her body shaking but a smile bursting from her cheeks. She was giggling, but trying to keep quiet. Paul giggled a little too, if only because she was. Emma sat up and waved her hand at Paul, shaking her head. “Silly billy, we can’t get in trouble with _my dad._“

It got to about 9:30 pm and the two best friends had already played ‘car crash’ with their dolls, something Paul had only come up with once he started playing with Emma and Jane. He liked her older sister enough when he was there when she came to visit, she was nice to him. And he also liked feeling Emma be extra happy. He thought she was happiest when it was him, her sister, and her daddy, in her home.

They’d already eaten enough snack food until they burst, and then some. Emma had discovered that full sugar sodas made Paul VERY hard to control, and while she was not the master of control herself, not realising her best friend only drank diet sodas before had accounted for her having to sit on his lap to stop him from running around the room like he wanted to, and once she was sure he wouldn’t flee, whacking his leg lightly whenever he bounced it, because it was getting to be a little bit… not annoying, but it made her skin crawl. Once she’d gotten about enough spit on her hands from trying to cover Paul’s mouth as he laughed super hard at just about any joke she made, and then having Paul’s hand cover her mouth because his laughing set her off, so both of them were sitting down laughing with each other’s hands covering their lips, she tried to calm him down with some food. Unfortunately a cupcake didn’t help, even though it wasn’t a sweetie. 

After a taped episode of Barney Emma wanted to show Paul a song in, and to her non-surprise Paul loved it, they played imaginary games, they played games with toys, and mostly they just talked and talked and talked. Her old dad had said those shows were for _babies,_ but Jane used to like sitting Emma in her lap and signing the songs with her, and her better daddy said she was _his baby_, and _Paul liked it!!!_ So it was fine. Emma liked Barney and she’d beat anyone up who said that was bad. Her daddy had said the age demographic was 2-7!!! She was only six years old! She was not a baby!!!! ...She was only her daddy’s baby.

When it hit the time Emma was sure Hidgens would be in his study working on his musical, she and Paul had a dance party. To no music of course, just the songs in their heads. 

But then it hit 9:30 and Paul was falling asleep on her foot as Emma brought out her brand new Max toy from A Goofy Movie, so stubbornly wanting to stay up till actual midnight but also knowing she wasn’t gonna make it that long, especially without Paul’s strength or distraction, she woke him up just long enough to help him into bed, even if his eyes were half closed. Besides, they could talk just a little more under the covers…

The two six year olds up way past their bedtime clambered into bed, Paul struggling under the quilt, especially now he wasn’t tucked in, Paul had to be tucked in, until he realised it wasn’t just the covers that he was kicking about with his tangled feet. 

Paul put himself on a mission, and as Emma was tucking Ted into his place under her arms, Paul tucked himself fully under the large soft quilt, buried completely as he messed around with little struggling sounds, making Emma stop what she was doing and watch him curiously. 

As Paul re-emerged, he held something in his hands that wasn’t wide enough to be a blanket, but wasn’t small or colourful enough to be one of Emma’s clothes. And as he put it towards the nightlight, Paul realised he was holding a long grey scarf in his hands.

He turned around to Emma, presenting it, while she looked on nonplussed. “Emma what’s this?”

Emma shrugged, kicking her feet under the free quilt now. “It’s my daddy’s scarf.” She didn’t explain more than that.

Paul looked back down at it. Then up at her. “Should we give it back to him?”

“No!” Emma grabbed it from Paul’s hands, bundling it right in her arms and pressing her lower face against it deeply, over tiredly, and she kept it smushed to her nose and mouth, just keeping the smell and the feel of her comfort item close to her face. But then she grabbed Paul’s hand for a quick hold, and he understood she didn’t say no that upsetly because of him.

Both kids lay right back down on their shared pillow, facing each other as they chatted, Emma into her snuggly now.

But Paul just couldn’t handle it and fell asleep first. Obviously. And quickly after, Emma followed.

Even going to sleep late didn’t mean they didn’t wake up early though. 

Paul was burst awake by hands pressing into his chest, and once he bolted up for breath, watching Emma bounce kneeling on the bed, wide awake, he knew the excitement of a sleepover had woken her up. And it had made him extremely lively too. 

“Good morning Paul.” Emma drawled sweetly, like how kids would drone on saying good morning in assembly, but there was eagerness, glee, love, and a hint of secretiveness in the way Emma said it. 

And Paul, happy to wake up to see his best friend, smiled back, giving Emma a hug for the first thing he did today. “Good morning Emma.”

The smaller six year old giggled as she hugged him back, before removing her chin from his shoulders and letting Paul really look at her smile now. And it only took a few seconds of looking and waking up for Paul’s brain to realise something. “Oh no why are you evil?”

Emma held Paul’s hand as they snuck into Hidgens room, but while Paul was the one questioningly silent and Emma was the one giggling under her breath, she still shushed Paul as she ushered him in excitedly. 

Paul stood right by Emma’s side all the way up until they got to the head of the bed, right where Mr. Hidgens was lightly snoring, fast asleep. It was only very early after all. 

But even as Emma kept that evil glee up, getting everything into place, Paul tugged on her hand, feeling his own get sweaty, not that Emma dropped it. She smiled at him and he groaned like this was really weighing on him. But still, from fear alone, not necessarily of what was to happen, but if he messed up Emma’s plans by being too loud and what her reaction would be to that, he cupped his free hand against her warm cheek and whispered into her ear. Very quietly. “Are you sure this is okay? And he won’t be mad?”

Emma snickered very quietly, pulling back and nudging Paul’s shoulder with her own dotingly. But instead of responding verbally, she simply nodded. Sneak attack. Emma had planned this since knowing there was going to be a sleepover going on.

Emma pulled up a desk mirror she brought from her room and placed it on the bed, right in front of her dads face. Then, smiling to Paul, who finally smiled back, she lightly stroked her dads hair, just softly enough to wake him without him looking for the culprit straight away. 

And slowly Hidgens started waking, the first thing he saw, being a face, his own face, staring intimately close, right back at him.

“AH!!”

Hidgens jumped right up startled, very much awake. 

And that’s when the kids jumped up and down, laughing and clapping as they celebrated their little prank. 

Hidgens has to swallow his choked snore, putting a hand to his heart, even though it wasn’t extremely terrifying, just very spooky and shocking. 

Better than an alarm clock. Or Emma’s foot repositioning his organs. 

Hidgens groaned into his pillow, throwing himself down into it as his heart finally reached back to a normal pace, peeking an eye open at the giddy kids staring at him expectantly. That had to make him grin smally, as he mumbled into his pillow, voice raspy with sleep “Emma I hope you’re not being a bad influence on Paul.”

Emma, ever the angel, innocently swayed, with her hands clasped behind her back, and smiled _ever so sweetly._ “No daddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse :-D
> 
> Yay! A happier one ahahaha. It was nice to get back into some sofd chapters ahahaha.
> 
> As always please please do leave any and all comments, they really help with motivation and it’s always nice to hear what y’all thought! Stay safe y’all 💕


	37. It’s All Important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Emma leaves school mad Hidgens is worried for Emma (and his own safety). But he’s gonna try hard to figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it with his daughter

When Hidgens went to pick Emma up from school, as he did everyday, as soon as she walked out, his smile diminished into a frightened version of one. “Oh no.” 

He took one look at his daughter, and knew exactly what kind of afternoon this was going to be. She was stomping down the school yard, her arms crossed over her chest as she walked. And as soon as her eyes caught Hidgens’, and he waved gently at her, she glowered, raising her chin high in the air and closing her eyes in a show. 

Ah fuck, his kid was scary sometimes too. Making sure she didn’t bang into anything, marching around with closed eyes, Hidgens walked the rest of the way towards Emma, stopping once he was a foot in front of her, and sensing him, Emma stopped too. Opening her eyes, and squinting them right back up at her dad.

Hidgens’ cheekbones were even more prominent as he swallowed unsurely, trying desperately to keep a smile on his face. “Hiya sweetie pie. How was-?”

Emma stomped right past him, no hug for Hidgens, not even a word. She just walked slowly, with her head held high, letting him keep pace, but in the direction of the street where Hidgens usually parked his car. 

Shit. Well. Hidgens quickly followed, for safety reasons of course, but as clingy as she usually was, he wasn’t even sure she’d stop or notice if he lagged behind. 

Hidgens walked behind her, since it also meant less chance for Emma to be hurt walking around the busy parking lot with her eyes closed, but when they got to all the moving cars, Hidgens made sure Emma took up his hand. 

She did so, only when Hidgens took hers first, but as the roaring of the engine going by Hidgens gained its distance, Hidgens realised this strange low sound wasn’t coming from the vehicles. It was his daughter, grumbling to herself. Hidgens tried to attune his ears to it, but it was simply not something for any other human to hear. 

However, he did try, “Emma? Did you say something?” but got no response. Instead, now, she was seethingly silent, remaining so as she crossed the last road they needed to before they stepped on the grass the car was parked on, and she immediately slipped her hand out of Hidgens’, tucking it right between her chest and her other arm quickly, settling her grumpy little chin on her crossed arms. 

Hidgens grit his bared teeth not so subtly, but hey it wasn’t like she was looking way up to be able to see him. Shit, Emma was not easy to get to admit she was in a grumpy mood. And asking in a certain way could definitely just make it worse.

At least, he hoped it wasn’t anything more than that. A grumpy mood. There were no tears, so that was good. But her face was bright pink, cheeks puffed out like she was holding an angry breath. 

Emma pulled on the door handle, sliding her feet on the grass as she yanked and grunted but it wouldn’t open. Then, Hidgens unlocked the car. 

Emma snorted angrily, making Hidgens jump a little, since he’d never heard that sound from his little girl before, but managing to rein in her raging bull anger, she opened the door pretty normally, and scrambled inside before Hidgens could help her up, climbing onto the seat using her legs to do so. But she simply moved her head up and to the side, as Hidgens had to tie her in. 

Hidgens cautiously moved his head into the car, clicking her big red seatbelt in and smiling at her after he did so. But Emma was craning her neck far so she could refuse to see it. Debating patting her knee but deciding against it, Hidgens quietly closed her car door, and got into his own seat, revving the engine and hoping Emma calmed at that. She did not. Sigh. His child was so easily stubborn. Although he wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt it was for a good cause... he also knew Emma as a person.

She wouldn’t talk to him at all throughout the car ride, and she made it obvious. Big pouted lips, hunched shoulders, arms crossed, huffing every few moments, and turning her head whenever he tried to speak to her.

This wasn’t usual, but similar patterns had occurred before. Emma got mad at things pretty easily sometimes, and she tended to hold those things inside for the rest of the day. But usually she complained to Hidgens about them as soon as she was able. Sometimes though, she just let the bad feelings curdle. Dr Morris had mentioned something about how sometimes anger could make people feel powerful, stubbornness in control, but he also thought that on top of that she was just a little kid. And sometimes little kids needed… well this wasn’t exactly a tantrum, good God, no, heavens they were worse - but it was something paramount to it. 

This time, trying something that wasn’t mindless small talk, he suggested something to try and make her feel better. Or at least see where she was on the scale of how upset she was at the bother, and if she’d start feeling better with simply time. 

So, as the light turned from green to amber, and Hidgens could really engage with his child, he safely stopped the car and turned around to smile meekly at her. Emma definitely ran the household. “Would you like to go to Oakley Park?”

Just silence followed. Emma looking at him, figuring out his inner thoughts. 

Hidgens tried to smile a little harder. “I’ll get you ice cream there if you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Hmph!” Emma turned her head more, raising her chin up to the sky as if she had the moral high ground here, and a very clear statement, that she wasn’t liking what Hidgens was saying. Either he was saying the wrong thing, or she didn’t want him saying anything at all to her right now.

Hidgens collapsed against his head rest, turning around only after a car beeped quickly at him, and starting the drive again, hoping car rides could soothe his troublesome small child as much as an actual baby, he continued to speak. “Oh Emma I’m sorry, I’m just trying to help.” He tried to help her rationalise. 

He just didn’t understand what was wrong at first. Then, taking in all her adverse body language, Hidgens heart thumped hard. _Oh no, is it ME she’s mad at??!_

So, simply, and slightly worried, but expectant of the answer, Hidgens sucked in a breath. “Are you mad at me?”

In her first time speaking, Emma looked right at the back of his head. “Yeah Hidgens. I’m mad at you.”

Well he was happy she could show that she was mad. But she’d never really been mad at him before, so he was worried. While also slightly falling down a mental hole convincing himself it was all over. 

“Do you want to tell me why so I can fix it?” He asked, turning round to her and making sure she could clearly tell he was upset as well, to be open and understanding with emotions just as she was. “Please Emma? I don’t like not being able to talk to you dear.”

Emma kicked in her seat, throwing her hands in the air dramatically, rolling her eyes to the side as best as a six year old could, before her theatrics turned into a quieter red face and pouty lips. “Because, ugh! Because you _dint..._” the rest of her sentence devolved into mumbles, clearly not liking having to say the rest out loud, her eyes trained hard on the moving road outside her window. 

Hidgens shook his head quickly, eyes squinted after he’d tried to understand, but she definitely said it too quietly so that no one could hear. And even though it was said in that cute little kid voice, he knew this wasn’t the time to exactly melt at how adorable she could be when she was angry. He gave a fast sigh from the effort, before trying again, “Sorry Emma, you have to speak clearer.”

Emma, clearly not liking having been told what to do right now, turned to Hidgens eyes with her arms crossed, eyes unmoving from his, and stubbornly, spoke clearly. “Say please.”

Hidgens wasn’t stubborn. He was an adult. And a good father to her. “Please Emma?”

Emma sighed loudly, not exactly yelling, but raising her voice, and speaking her words louder, and very clear “Because you didn’t give me a kiss when you said bye this morning!”

As soon as it was out she went back to sounding mumbly and pouting, very ticked off with her dad, who, at that moment, had his whole mouth open like he was experiencing an epiphany. _Ohhhhhhhh_

“Oh. Oh goodness Emma I’m sorry!” He apologised quickly, feeling bad now. He knew stuff like that was important to her, more than he was sure even he could ever understand. Especially when it was a routine of physical confirmation that he still loved her, something that had to be important, they upheld every school day. “Oh I really am sorry, I was just in a rush today and I forgot.”

“Humph!” Emma was not pleased with that explanation, and kept her stubborn stance still. 

Hidgens face cringed hard with regret, hoping to try and fix this with her. He knew it was only a small thing, but God did he feel bad, especially knowing she’d probably been overthinking this all day. “Sorry Emma, sometimes I forget things, even the most important things.”

At that Emma looked up. No more pouting, no more tight lips, her body language was natural, relaxed. But her mouth was slightly open, looking like how Hidgens’ had just been a few moments prior. “Important?” Her voice had been very high pitched when she had spoken all of today.

Hidgens nodded, smiling meekly but smiling with his eyes too this time. Except his confirmation was not meek, it was sure. “Yeah. Am I allowed to make it up now?”

Emma bit her lip, kicking her feet slowly in her chair, her eyes down but clearly to an adult, still looking right at Hidgens, she shrugged. “Maybe.” 

That was a yes. Hidgens wasn't gonna miss the opportunity as he had done this morning. He took a u turn and parked on the street immediately next to them. The second after Emma had spoken he was out of the car. 

That made Emma’s brain and heart go _woah._

Hidgens opened her car door and with a full smile on his face, he leant in and kissed her cheek with a loud “Mwah!” and as soon as he had done that, swiftly kissed the top of her little head. And he kissed her face over and over and over, absolutely smothering her with the kisses he’d missed this morning. Smiling all throughout his apology he was more than happy to give. Especially after he’d been so silly today.

Emma was trying not to smile, even as his pecks nudged her cheeks and made her lips twitch upwards, because the longer she didn’t smile, the more kisses she would get, she was sure, if she played pretend and made her dad still think she was mad. 

Then Hidgens, not leaving a second without much needed contact comfort, kissed her hand. Then his tickly fingers went to her belly too and Emma’s face was bright red with laughter, especially as his kissing turned into raspberries on her tummy, and Emma’s eyes stung with giddy tears, even though she didn’t want to close them right now. Giggling as she didn’t fight him off, but instead held him closer. 

She stayed stubbornly sure that she was gonna get that attention and show of love. And as she’d equally missed out this morning too, Emma gave one of her own kisses to Hidgens. Squealing shriekingly loud with pure delight as that, unlike pretending to be mad which was so much less fun, got her even more love.

It was a whole five minutes later when Hidgens couldn’t even feel his legs, his back was hurting that much, that he started to poke his head out from the car and stretch. Not far away enough though, that Emma couldn’t tug on his polo shirt. Dotingly answering her every beckon, Hidgens bent down amusedly curious so he could better see her face, knowing she’d be a fine actor one day, watching as Emma tried to get her whole face to pout, but was cut off a little by giggles.

“Daddy I’m still a little bit upset with you.” Emma stuck her lips out, and after getting a smaller and more apologetic kiss sorry from her dad, letting her know she really really was important, that he was sorry, and he really did still love her... immediately started shrieking again when she got attacked with kisses, tickles, raspberries and hugs. Except this round she was determined to win the match. Not only did Hidgens not appreciate her raspberries because, according to her _cheater_ dad, ‘Emma this is just drooling on me’, but Emma was soooo good at letting everyone know how much she loved her father. Plus, Emma was stubborn, she wanted to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow my tumblr for this account: @ourstarkidcrazyuniverse :-D
> 
> I know it was a bit of a smaller chapter but I’m working on something big atm! But I’m trying to do this and the next chapter of lgbw in between because they’re not as big or extremely plot important aha, so there’s something in between because that fic is gonna be long ahaha. 
> 
> But I hope you enjoyed! Please leave any and all comments because they really do mean a lot to read!
> 
> And as always stay safe y’all 💕

**Author's Note:**

> (Paul will be in it at some point but remember they are still children ;-) )
> 
> Please please please tell me what you think!
> 
> A new series of always scary and I’ve not really seen any young child!Emma but I hope you all enjoy 😊


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